Siblings in Same Room or Separate Rooms

Updated on May 19, 2010
L.C. asks from Altadena, CA
20 answers

Hi,

I have two girls (2 1/2 and 3 months). This is a bit premature, but I was wondering for those with more than one child, would you recommend having them share a room or separate rooms? We have 3 rooms in our house so technically they each can have a room (just have to rearrance everything else).

Any thoughts?

L.

1 mom found this helpful

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A.H.

answers from San Diego on

I have my kids share a room until they are older so that they can learn to share and get along with others.

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

My girls share a bedroom and then they have a play room. I love not having toys and such in their room. It is just for sleeping and getting dressed so it is never messy. The toy room is a different story. There are good days and bad days in there. As long as I am not tripping on toys if my kids wake up at night I am happy. They also entertain each other in the morning and it is really cute. When they get older and want a change we think about it then but for noe I love having them together.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

It really depends. Each child is different... some toddlers/kids like their own space, some don't mind sharing.

The reason I say that is, my sister HATED "sharing" anything with me, no matter what age she was. And when it came to "our" room... well, basically it was "her" room because she was so bossy and would shove me off to having just 1 sliver of space. Oh, but she did this while not being obvious to my Parents. So... you can see what a battle it was. For me, the younger sibling.

Other kids, love it.
Some kids however, don't sleep well when sharing a room. Some do and can sleep through any loud crying.

There is a big gap between a 3 month old and a 2.5 year old. My daughter (my kids are 4 years apart), LOVES sleeping next to her brother. BUT... sometimes my son HATES having her sister in the same room, because he is more "routine" oriented and he has his own way of sleeping. Then, sometimes, my Daughter "hates" sleeping with her brother at times, because she does not like feeling "responsible" for him if he can't sleep right away- because then she feels she will get "scolded" from my Hubby, for keeping up her brother. (even though she is not). Then sometimes, my kids just do NOT want to sleep around each other period. SO... then what? So, there are other dynamics involved.... beyond just having 2 bodies in a single room, or for convenience sake.

Eventually though, as a child gets older.... (at least to me), they will want and need to have their own room... for their own privacy. Usually, an "older" child does not want to have a "little kid" sibling around, after a certain age. My friend, had that problem with her kids, who are 3 years apart.

But then again, once you have more than 1 kid, it involves re-arranging the home... a lot. Because it takes trial and error to see what works or not, or how you want your home to be in conjunction with both kids, and as the child's needs changes as they hit different age junctures and what not.

You can just try it and you can see IF it works. BUT... if it does not, then you need to be willing to have them in separate rooms, since you do have a room for both.
For me, since "living" with my sister in 1 room was hell... I really think kids need their own rooms, if the option is available. But thankfully, as we got older, I did get my own room, and that was the best thing ever.

All the best,
Susan

1 mom found this helpful
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L.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

One of my girlfriends has a great solution for this dilemma. She has her 2 girls (I think this works fine for boy/girl too) sleeping in one smaller bedroom. This is really JUST a sleeping, quiet room. And she has the other room set up as a play room. Her kids are almost 3 years apart, but they are still able to share a lot of the same toys like dolls, art supplies, books, their little kitchen, etc. This means all the toys are in one place, there's only one room to clean, and there's no issue when it's naptime for the little one. The older just keeps playing in the toy room.
They've also had to learn to share space with someone else, even if there's a fight.
Anyway, it's another suggestion on how to solve your situation that I hadn't seen posted anywhere.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I would put them in separate rooms until the baby is sleeping through the night.

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J.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

My three kids share a room: a 5 year old girl and 7 month old b/g twins. My older daughter loves having them with her and so far no one wakes anyone else up (except for me!). Not sure how long we'll keep it this way, but it works for us.

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Your girls will do fine either way. Everyone I know who has their children sharing a room say that it isn't a problem - neither keeps the other one awake. It's just a matter of deciding what you think is best for your family and whether you want the extra bedroom to use for something else. Your girls will sleep well and be happy either way.

K.
http://oc.citymommy.com - the ultimate girlfriends network

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B.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

My girls, now almost 14 and 10 shared a room until 2 years ago. We had one "bedroom" for quite reading and sleep and another "play room" for noisy activities, friends etc. It worked perfectly until the older one didn't want her "little sister around when her friends were over". Now she wants her privacy. The younger one was sad but when we redocorated her room "just for her" it went more smoothly.

B.
Family Wellness Coach

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

My girls are 4 1/2 and almost2. I am trying to put them in the same room and realize i should have done it a long time ago. Do it around 6 months old....when she sleeps all night and is still confined to a crib. I'm sure it will be hard at first but it will be worth it. Mine want to share but they are use to silence and constantly wake each other since i waited so long. Good luck

A.C.

answers from San Francisco on

well when my two daughters were 3-5 and a 7-9 year ld the we moved when they where 5 and 9 they lived together fine but they always fought over the tv lol so if you plan to give them a tv and share a room when they are older be warned about fighting a little also we moved to a bigger house that is why they stopped sharing a room now they are 11 and 14 (almost 15) they barely talk wow i wish they did maybe they should share again lol jk hope i helped

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E.N.

answers from San Diego on

I have 2 boys who are 15 months apart and we have them share a room even though we have an extra bedroom. We do separate them for naps during the day, but they share a room at night and I plan to keep it that way until they get closer to the teen years. I think it helps them learn to share, plus I think it has really helped our boys bond with one another. They have their own special time together after we put them to bed at night until they fall asleep, and in the morning after they wake up until we get them up for the day. They are 4 and 3 years old now and we still keep a monitor in the room because we like to listen to them after we put them to bed at night. They will have the cutest conversations with each other, sometimes they will sing together - it is really adorable. And I think that sharing a room has helped them have a real tender love for each other. They are also 100% boys and they attack each other at any opportunity, but they hug and kiss each other good night and any time they part company. They are very sweet.

I am also one of 7 kids and I didn't get to have my own room until I was 16 years old, when my oldest sister got married and vacated her room. I always wished I could have a room of my own for almost as long as I can remember, and if it had been possible, I think I would have been given my own room earlier, but I think those years of sharing a room helped me to be a bit more self-less. When I was very young, I think I liked sharing a room with my oldest sister because we always got along well. And we used to switch rooms ocassionally among us 4 girls, and we liked having those little projects. But some of us didn't do so well together paired in the same rooms, and we had to learn to deal with that, too. Overall, I think that the sharing was a good experience for me and I want my kids to benefit from that too, but I think it is valuable to respect their space when they become teens so I hope we will have the means to be able to do that when our boys reach that age.

Those are my thoughts...

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E.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have 3 girls and I put them all in the same room for a while just to show the baby what she needed to do at bed time and it worked. When the lights went out and the older girls went to bed the baby followed. Now we have a routine going. My girls are all 5 years apart and the baby is now 2 1/2 and I've moved the oldest out on her 13th birthday.

E. White
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N.H.

answers from San Diego on

I have two boys - three and 11 months. We put them together in the same room @ 6 months even though we have another room. It is wonderful and I can hear them giggling at each other in the mornings. The only risk is that the older child will want to crawl in the crib with the baby and play. We talked to him about how dangerous that is. We did a crib tent to prevent that while the baby was young. Now that he is older and can stand in the crib on his own I the baby monitor and have been able to hear if he crawls in. (only happens once in a while) My youngest ususally wakes up squealing when he does so I know! I love the bond that they are developing and will continue to keep them in the same room as long as they want.

Enjoy! It just gets better and better as your youngest gets older and they start to play together.

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S.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

I found that my boys liked sharing a room when they were younger, but prefer their own room now that they are older. Hope that helps!

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R.L.

answers from San Diego on

My boys (turning 3 tomorrow! and 8 months) share a room. We put them together about 2 months ago. My oldest loves it. He's near his baby and he "doesn't sleep alone" anymore. Both go to bed with such ease. I know my littlest is only 8 months but, seriously, both seem happier.

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L.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi. My boys are 6 and 9 and have been sharing a room for 4 years. They like it and have never asked to have their own room. I think they like that they go to sleep in the same room at night. I'm sure one day they will want their own room but I don't see that coming for quite awhile. We also have three rooms and will deal with rearranging things for them to have their own room when the time comes.

D.C.

answers from Dallas on

Hi L.,

Do you believe your 2 1/2 year old will wake the baby? If not then I would recommend it. My girls sleep in the same room and have so for the past two or three years and they love it and I love it. Whenever the youngest one comes to sleep in the bed with my husband and I, the older one will wake up because she's not in the room. They also keep each other company all the time so it works out for us. I would recommend it.

I think I will split my girls up when they are about 7 and 9 but for now they enjoy being in the same room together.

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T.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

I like what Susan wrote.

My son is 9 and my daughter is 5 (4 yrs apart). I co-slept with each of them, but when she turned 1, I put her on a twin mattress on the floor next to her brother's bed.

Her room was the "office" and I finally turned it into her bedroom this past summer.

They were fine sharing a room. They were used to it. I have heard that siblings (boy/girl or same sex) who share a room are generally closer (except for poor Susan) sharing secrets, bonding, etc...

The reason I took her out was
1) she has a lot of toys and books and I wanted for her to have her own room for her own stuff.
2) she was starting Kindergarten and if that got stressful, I wanted her to have her own space (her own haven so to speak) to go to, where her brother couldn't tell her what to touch or not.
3) if her brother had a playdate, he'd kick her out of his/their room. I wanted her to have her own space to go to for playdates, some place she could feel pride in taking her little friend's to, where she could set up her own space.

They have different personalities (he's more outgoing and takes out his frustrations on her) and she's shy, on the neat side and loves order. I wanted her to have a space that was really for her to feel safe and good and was hers. She loves to draw and her bedroom is big enough for me to put a wide, low desk in for her to do that on.

He is jealous she got a half-bunk bed. But he also misses sleeping in the room with her. He says he is more scared at night.

I still lie down with her (like I used to with him when he was little) till she conks out, then I leave.

I have a friend with two boys (age 17 & 13/14) and they share a tiny room, tiny closet, bunk bed. They don't really have an extra bedroom. The basement is the play room. The other bedroom is for their little sister. But they have to share that space, because that's all they have and they are fine with it - no issues.

I think whatever you do is fine. You can always change it (and deal with rearranging) later on.

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M.C.

answers from Honolulu on

My kids share a room (2 girls, 3 years apart) and we are all totally cool with it. We put them both to bed at the same time, although this really did not happen until the little one was 18 months or so. I think as they get older, they might want to separate, but we certainly won't present that as an option! When we first moved the baby into my older daughter's room, we redecorated. We let the older one design the decor and had a "grand opening" when we moved both beds in. They were really excited to sleep in their decorated room, so it wasn't just like the big one had to suddenly share what had been hers alone. My kids are now 7 and 4 and we hope to continue with this arrangement as long as we can!

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C.K.

answers from San Diego on

Keep them together. I have an almost 6 year old son with his 4 year old sister AND their 15 month old brother in one room. It takes some coordination and discussing, but they love being together.
good luck

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