Sick Leave Is a Privilege Not a Right!

Updated on October 18, 2012
♥.O. asks from Parcel Return Service, DC
46 answers

That's what my supervisor just told me when he pulled me into his office this afternoon. I was out sick last week with a nasty illness. I don't even know what I had but I was so incredibly miserable. There was no way I could have driven myself to work let alone WORK. My symptoms were.. horrible headaches, very fatigued, eyes sunken into my head, fever, vomiting and diarrhea. I couldn't keep anything down so as a result I was also very weak & dizzy. I was in contact with my doctor's office during this time frame. I was also in contact with my supervisor via phone calls but the problem was I didn't SOUND sick. Plus Monday was a holiday & Friday was my day off. So I was on sick leave Tuesday-Thursday. Today was my first day back in the office. Of course, I'm fine now and you would never know that I was sick last week. My supervisor calls me on the phone first thing this morning after he had arrived and told me that he would like to meet with me this afternoon. I happen to know he puts any type of uncomfortable meeting off until the late afternoon so that he can just go home right afterward. So I knew it was not going to be good news. I've been stressing out all day over this meeting. He'd been giving me the cold shoulder all day prior to the meeting.

So he calls me into his office and the first thing he says is "I just want you to know that I've never had any type of problem with you in the past and that you're attendance and punctuality have always been perfect". Then he tells me "so it threw me for a loop last week when you called in sick three days in a row and right after a holiday and right before your day off". He continues "I just want you to know that I'm not accusing you of anything and no one has said anything to me about it and this is all unofficial and off the books but it looked very suspicious to me and it made me very uncomfortable because you were sick right after a holiday and you knowingly took the sick leave anyway". (huh?). He continued to say "it didn't sit right with me at all". I told him while fighting back tears & with my jaw quivering that I WAS sick and that I was in contact the entire time with my doctor's office and I could provide a doctor's note to him if that helped the situation. He declined. He said that he believed me but it still made him uncomfortable because of the holiday. He told me that because it looked so suspicious I should have considered coming in anyway (I would have if I could have) and that sick leave is a privilege, not a right. He again said he wasn't accusing me of anything but it made him uncomfortable and that most people aren't sick for more than a day or two. He also kept repeating a lot of what he had already said and I kept repeating that I was too sick to have come in and that I would gladly furnish a doctor's note. At the end of the meeting I was actually crying. It's frustrating that he won't take my proof but keeps calling the situation "uncomfortable" for him. Ugh!

I've been at this place of employment for 12 years and he's been my supervisor for the past 2 years. He came to us as a brand new supervisor. I earn sick leave as part of my benefits and that's what I was evoking was my earned sick leave. I feel that I did EARN the sick leave and therefore I'm entitled to use it. I don't feel it's a privilege. I feel it's a right or at least under my employment plan. I did not say anything to him about that statement but it really has me bothered.

So my question is how can I protect myself in the future? My take away message is that "I'm not outright accusing you of anything but I will be watching you". Since I have every Friday off I guess he'd considered it suspicious if in the future I'm sick on either a Thursday or a Monday. So I guess I'm only allowed to be sick on Tuesday or Wednesday then. And then it better not be for more than a day or two. And it better not be next to a holiday. Is the ability to provide a doctor's note sufficient enough to protect me or am I supposed to be able to protect myself even further? I work in the public sector, not the private sector. I believe our employee manual says that a note could be requested if you take off more than 3 days (or maybe it's 3 days or more?). Should I memorize that statement and quote it to him if/when there is a next time?

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your support! I was really blindsided by that meeting yesterday but reading your responses have really helped me a lot! I will definitely get the doctor's note and will submit it as well as keep a copy for my records. I will be very careful to document any sick leave I take, whether for appointments or illness. I'm even going to go as far as keeping the little appointment cards (for dental appointments, etc.) with my copy of my leave slip just in case. I doubt that will ever come into question but you just never know. I will always have a doctor's note to submit from here on out so there is never an issue in the future. I will also be looking to transfer to another agency. The lesson that I've learned is you can never be too careful in these type of situations. And if I do get hired on with another agency I will continue to apply what I've learned from this experience!

I do feel that I'm being targeted though because other's have called in sick in the past near a holiday and/or their day off and/or the start of the their vacation time and I've never seen them pulled into his office. He himself calls in sick a lot on Mondays and then looks perfectly fine on Tuesday. So I was really taken back by all of this nonsense.

Thanks again!

Update: I read our employee manual and it says that a doctor's note can be requested AFTER the third day.

I do not apprecaite the comments about if you were ill enough to be out for 3 days you were ill enough to visit the doctor. That was why I was e-mailing my doctor back and forth to see whether or not I needed to book an appointment for my symptoms. I don't want to be stuck with an expensive copay if he wouldn't be able to do anything for me. Also, it's a little hard to go to the doctor when you're vomitting & have diarreah.

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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I would buzz human resources and play dumb-saying something like "I was out last week with a terrible flu and my supervisor told me that I should have came in anyhow. I just wanted to make sure that I do understand this as most places discourage a sick employee from coming into work and infecting the entire office. Is it, in fact, our company policy to come in while sick? I just want to know for next time this may come up."

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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

Give a note from your doctor to your supervisor and a copy to HR. I would also talk to HR about the situation.

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D..

answers from Charlotte on

Next time what you should do is come in sick and cough all over him. Throw up in his trashcan. When he asks why you are there, look at him and say "Well after the trouncing you gave me last time I was sick as a dog, why would you expect me to stay home?" And just lay over your desk.

He's being a douchebag. Instead of crying about it, get even.

By the way, you should go to the doctor when you are that sick instead of just calling the doctor. And don't ever go in without a note again - GET a note.

Mostly, I think you should give the guy your germs - he obviously hasn't been sick in a long time and doesn't remember that sickness doesn't care if it's a vacation weekend.

Dawn

15 moms found this helpful

C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Wow, what a jerk! You should get a note from your doctor indicating that you were too ill to come to work last week. Scan it, and then e-mail it to him (copy HR) with a short note indicating something like:

"Bob,
Per our meeting yesterday, I understand that you had questions about my illness last week. Attached, please find a note from my doctor documenting my illness. I'm sorry that the timing of my illness upset you; please understand that it was not my intent to become sick, and had it been my choice, I'd certainly not have done so at such an inconvenient time for you.

Thanks for the opportunity to clear this up."

This will document for him that you really were sick (not that he deserves the time of day, but that's not really the point of the email). More importantly, it throws him under the bus with HR. With any luck, someone in HR will look at the e-mail and say, "Wait, WHAT?" - and then you have the opportunity to smile innocently and say, "Well, I was deathly ill, called in each day to Bob, and when I returned, he indicated that sick leave is not a right, but a privilege, and I should have come in sick anyway." Generally speaking, HR departments in the public sector are acutely aware that in fact, sick leave IS a right for sick people (especially since it is spelled out in the employee manual), and that what your boss did to you amounts to creating a hostile work environment. By documenting it, you are covering your butt, and putting your boss on notice with HR, in the nicest possible way. Good luck. Your boss sounds like a piece of work.

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

I would document the incident with HR and if you can obtain a note from your doctor, that would be helpful to put in your personnel file.

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A.C.

answers from Savannah on

He's lame. Get a doctor's note whether he declined it or not. It's called CYA (covering your....bum). I'd ask the doctor to write a "good one" because the boss basically DID call you a liar and DID lead you to believe he does NOT believe you, even though he's too weak to actually say it up front. Next time, puke right in the office before going home. I swear I would if I had a meeting like that.
I wouldn't bother memorizing and quoting anything. Print it off and have it ready if/when needed. DO get that doctors note! You need to make a copy for your personal records (and a note of what happened today), a note for HR, a note for your boss.
And, I disagree with that statement. I am not in HR so I'm no expert, but sick days are a right.....not only for the sick people to recover, but for the coworkers to not worry about catching it and bringing it home to spread around their children! I flat wouldn't want to be around someone that was really ill. A sniffle is different.......your symptoms sound yucky!

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B.B.

answers from New York on

I would provide a doctor's note as unfortunately, there are people who take advantage of situations like this. I had a guy I worked with who had "food poisoning" almost every Monday morning. I can see how you would be upset since you have always been a good worker. I would get the note and put it in your file.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Oh HECK NO!

I would be so furious. You sound like an excellent employee. You are an adult. A Professional.

This conversation should never have happened I mean NEVER.
Your record is exemplary.

He can feel anyway he wants, but to assume you would lie, to have days off, and to tell you this, is completely offensive.

Since you called in each day and they did not deny the call, YES it is your right to those days.

Like everyone else says. get the note from the doctor, make a copy of it, Give the original to HR and the copy to this jerk with a note that the original is on file with HR.

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B.F.

answers from Chicago on

I would supply a doctor's note even if he doesn't want one, just so that it's in your file. He doesn't sound like a very competent supervisor. If he keeps "not accusing you" of things but implying that you did something wrong, I would maybe consider talking to your HR department.

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S.R.

answers from El Paso on

I say you get that dr's note, walk in there, slap it on his desk and walk out. He's got his proof, you've got your vindication, and MAYBE he'll realize he's got his foot in his mouth.

.... Maybe do what I said with less attitude. Certainly the way I said it, there's major attitude... :)

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T.N.

answers from Albany on

Geez what a jerk!

Ditto Happymom.

:(

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Next time, come in and barf on his shoes.
Produce the doctors note for this last incident (and every incident as per your employee handbook guidelines).
He's calling you a liar - don't let it slide - prove him wrong and make sure it's documented.
He's insecure in his role as boss.
He feels he has to draw a line and he's being a a-hole about it.
I might consider having a word with HR about his attitude.
Know what your rights are.
I had a boss like this who badgered a subordinate who was undergoing chemo for breast cancer and accused her of using her condition to slack off.
Had she been in any better shape she should have sued him but she was vulnerable emotionally and took no action.
You have not abused your sick leave in the past - he should NOT be able to dictate when you can take off sick in this manner.
Don't let his guy frazzle you.
Be professional and go according to the book.
And really barf on his shoes if you ever get the chance.

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J.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

I would have been pissed off if I were you. I once had a stomach bug that left me puking every half hour. It was awful. I couldn't keep anything down, not even water. Obviously I called in that day.

But the next day I was so dehydrated that every time I stood up the room spun. I called in a second day (first time ever), because obviously if I couldn't stand I couldn't work.

My boss called me because the other girl who worked in my department also called in sick (which she did quite frequently) and wanted me to come in so she could stay home! I refused. I told her that it was unsafe for me to drive and I wasn't going to risk my life for a job. That made her shut up pretty quick.

Ugggh! Some people are just stupid. Honestly, I would just let this go and ignore him. Don't you dare go to work while you are sick because it would make some prick "uncomfortable". You didn't do anything wrong. GRRR...I'm mad for you!

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I've had this sort of conversation with supervisors over the years because I was frequently sick. I've also been a supervisor and had to have this sort of conversation with subordinates. So, from both sides, I suggest that this is just the cost of doing business. He probably has a supervisor who's been putting the pressure on about use of sick leave. Sounds like he didn't word it well. Sounds like he wasn't liking to have the conversation with you and didn't know how to word it but he had to do it because his boss required that he do it.

You don't say how big of an organization it is you work in but if it's at all large there are several people misusing sick leave. Try to look at the big picture and try to not take this conversation so personally. It really does sound like your boss just didn't know how to handle this.

Depending on how well you know your boss, I might wait a week or two and then go in and let him know how concerned you are about how this will affect your working relationship with him. Do you ever have coffee with him? I found those times great for smoothing out feelings.

Unless he says more to you, I wouldn't be concerned about documenting use of sick leave. It was several years of my using (not misusing) sick time before they asked me to document with a note from the doctor. It's unlikely that you'll be in a similar circumstance any time soon.

Sick leave is a right. It's in the contract. I also worked in the public sector and fortunately no one suggested to me that it was a privilege. That would irritate me.

I also took these sort of conversations personally at the beginning. Eventually, after becoming a supervisor myself, I learned to just take them in stride. I knew I wasn't misusing sick time and learned from experience that it takes a lot of documentation on their part to prove it even when it's happening. At one point, I was told that I would lose my rank because of my use of sick time. They sent me to their doctor who confirmed that I had a medical condition that required my over use of sick time and that was the end of the conversations with supervisors.

So, relax, let go of the anger knowing that you're OK.

If you do have this conversation again, just agree with him that it looks bad but you were actually sick. Sounds like he was defensive in response to your defensiveness. A quick way to reduce conflict is to agree whenever possible. Yes, it did look bad, afterall. You know it wasn't. Be confident.

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J.S.

answers from Hartford on

Get the doctor's note anyway regardless of what he said. Have a copy not only for him, but for Human Resources. I would let your HR dept know about the interaction as well.

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

Contact your doctor's office and get the note. Write a statement including the note regarding the sickness. Submit it to HR and your manager. If he says that it was an unofficial discussion (they never are!) just smile and say "I appreciate that but I was upset and concerned and felt that I was being questioned about my integrity and honesty. I felt it was in my best interest to submit this documentation to you and HR".

Our policy here at work is if you miss 3 days or more you need to submit a doctor's note.

I'm not completely ready to call him a turd but I will say that he does not have very good people skills and needs to learn the company policy regarding attendance ASAP!! I really don't like the "it didn't sit with me at all". I would have been tempted to ask him where he received his MD degree from!!! He needs to learn the company policy regarding sick leave ASAP as well as the attendance policy.

I do think what he was trying to say and not very well is that he will be looking at patterns with your attendance. Honestly, I do this as well as I'm a manager. However, I would never have conducted the meeting in that fashion. I would would have asked for the doctor's note first thing upon your return. If you didn't have it, I would have had you get it ASAP.

I am highly recommending you to get the note, write a statement and submit it to HR and your manager ASAP! In the statement, including the company attendance and sick leave policy.

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T.M.

answers from Tampa on

My company's policy is that a doctor note can be required for 3 days of consecutive absences. I would follow up and get the note for this absence and insist upon giving him a copy and let him know that you are also giving a copy to HR. Something seems strange...If you have a perfect record of attendance, then why would the first absence like this be questioned so strongly? Is there some other issue with your boss?

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A.F.

answers from Fargo on

Wow, I am ticked off FOR you! He was completely out of line. Is he a physician? Because how else would he know how long a person should be sick? I would definitely talk to HR about this, so you are not badgered in the future.

He is a big baby to be worried about how "uncomfortable" he feels about the situation. Um, I'm willing to bet diarrhea and vomiting were MUCH more uncomfortable.

I'm so sorry this happened to you!

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A.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

I think if you are sick and have the sick days, then they are yours to use.. Granted, I do think some people DO take advantage (I have known many) but in your case, you said you were truly sick. From here on out, maybe get that doc's note and make one for your records, his and well if need be, ask HR to keep it your employee file.

I have had the same dilemma as you in that , when sick, I usually don't sound sick and sadly, have often gone to work even if sick.... unfortunately, this pattern set the precedence of my employer thinking and or getting used to me ALWAYS being at work.....

I even had a case once years ago when my biological mother was very sick and when I called my boss to say I had just picked her up from the hospital and needed to stay with her for the rest of day (basically needed the day off) but because I didn't sound upset to my boss, she told me that my mother wasn't that sick...... and I only wanted the day off....... truth is, I was on the verge of losing it and had tried my best to stay calm.... turns out because my mom was so sick, she died the next year.. (hey showed that employer :) ok being sarcastic but it's true... sadly people misinterpret a person's voice.. and to think, you have worked there for 12 years.. honestly, I think your manager was out of line..

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

what a jerk! Write him and email and include the doctors note for ALL days including the days you were OFF. Then cc it to Human Resources and tell them that his conversation with you made YOU uncomfortable and you were legitimately sick. There is no reason he should give you flack about this. Tell HR you voluntarily asked if he wanted a doctors note but he declined. Insist that they make a note in your file that HE made you uncomfortable---you have every right to sick leave and NO one can question it. You earn it under state law. It is NOT a privilege.

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

First of all sick leave is a privilege, it is not protected by law. To give you some idea of how much it is a privilege it is, get fired and see how much of it they pay you out for, that number will be zero. Second I work on his side of the table and although you didn't do anything wrong a LOT of people do call in after a holiday. Our office actually has rules, since it has got so bad, that you don't get paid for the holiday if you call in the day before or after.

Anyway, lecture over.

You should have had your doctor fax a note over to the office or brought one in with you straight away. Such an easy thing to do and if you had none of this would have happened.

Quoting rules makes people believe you are trying to put on over. I can assure you the only employees that know what is in our employee manual put stuff over on us all the time. I know you are surprised but don't react by acting like a guilty employee.

I just want to make something clear, if you are not under a contract, if you are at will, it doesn't matter if you are in the public or private sector.

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L.M.

answers from New York on

Even though my employer does not require it, if I'm out sick and I've seen a doctor, I get a note and provide it to my employer for this exact reason, I don't want anything to look suspicious. Many employers have had so many problems with employees calling out sick the day before or after a holiday, that the benefit package states that if you're out the day before or the day after a holiday, you will not receive your holiday pay. The "ability" to provide a doctor's note means nothing. Since you were out 3 days, you should have automatically provided a note If I were in this situation, I would contact my doctor first thing in the morning and ask that they send (fax or e-mail) a document directly to your supervisor.

My benefit package, just like yours, provides for earned sick time, so your supervisor has no right to question you. Yes, you should know your company's policy regarding sick time. There's no reason to memorize anything, you can always say something like "I thought xxxx, do you have the employee manual available so we can refer to it".

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J.B.

answers from Dayton on

Wow, I would be upset too. Since he said your situation of being ill was "uncomfortable" for him, here's what I would do. I'd get the doctor's note confirming that you had been in touch with them. Then I'd scan the doctor's note and e-mail him a copy, (cc your HR department or payroll dept, whoever keeps track of absences), and in the e-mail I'd say his conversation made YOU uncomfortable and felt he was basically calling you a liar! I'd proceed to say that it would be more likely that someone was abusing the sick leave if they were only out 1 day here, another day there. That for anyone to be out consecutive days would make a reasonable person realize you were indeed really sick! Throw something in there stating that you are most grateful that you have sick leave as part of your benefit package as you realize that not every job has that benefit.

Oh, and I'd probably also throw something in there stating that you had your co-workers best interest as you didn't want them to catch what you had. Goodness, if 1 person's absence made him "uncomfortable" what would he do if multiple people were out ill!

And then I'd point out that you would have much rather been at work than home sick! Phewwww, can you tell that he got me all worked up too?!
Sorry you were ill. I'm glad you are feeling better. Your boss has just made me sick!! :)

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I would get a doctor's note just to be on the up and up. If your company has a policy that you are out 3 days and you need a note, then it's a cover your butt move on your part.

My guess is that someone else mentioned it so it got him thinking you were faking. I would keep it simple. "Per the conversation with Mr. Smith on 10/15/12, I am providing the attached doctor's note indicating my illness from x to y dates." Put it in writing and keep a printed copy.

Frankly, if you got the vibe that you are now under the microscope, I'd revisit company policy with HR. Someone can go over the sick leave regulations with you and your rights when something like this comes up. When my boss questioned me about sick leave taken after I returned from maternity leave (because others were working in the hole) I assured her that I had more than 3 weeks' personal time in the bank when I left, used 2 as per regulated by HR before short term disability kicked in and was left with more than a week upon my return because I took my last 4 weeks of FMLA unpaid. She shut up after that.

ETA: I have certainly been sick for more than a day or two, or had a child sick. Once my kid was so sick (and then we got it, yay) that DH and I shared being home off and on for two weeks. If he has never had a stomach bug, he is lying.

The more I think about this meeting the more I wonder what his point was. Why did he have to drill it into you that he didn't believe you were sick? What's wrong with a simple, "Per company policy, when an employee is sick for x number of days they need a doctor's note. Can you please provide one?" More than that is unprofessional, IMO.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Sorry you went through this - he sounds like a little turd. I would have been really upset as well. I think you got some great answers already but just wanted to add a little trick I have for upsetting work conversations. When I feel trapped in a "conversation" where we are past the point of anything valuable being said and I feel like I am on defense, I quickly paraphrase what I think the message is, say "duly noted" and excuse myself.

So for your conversation..."I am hearing you say that you are not accusing me of anything but are concerned with the length and timing of my absence, correct?" (he presumably says yes). Then you say "duly noted. Thanks for your time. If you'll excuse me, I have to get back to work" and walk out before you become visibly upset. Hope that helps - I saw someone use this at work and it was a very effective and civilized way out of an awkward discussion and is an approach that has served me well.

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A.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

The whole time reading your post I was thinking how grateful I am to be in the public sector (and a building union rep even though I'm a conservative) and then when I got to where you said you were too, my jaw dropped! You are entitled to whatever is laid out in the contract, period. Who gives a hoot if it's uncomfortable for him?

Sick leave is a contract issue. It is EARNED by the employees and negotiated upon WITH the management. It must be honored. Privilege, my hat!

Our contract says that if we're out more than three days (or 3 in a row) we have to provide a drs note. In addition to this, I usually email my principal to let him know what's up. If I were you, I would absolutely familiarize myself with the language in the contract and not be afraid to quote it. I think in the future, I would be more proactive and come to see him as soon as I was back, drs note in hand, to ward off the skepticism and awkwardness.

Our new contract says that admin can deny leave requests that precede or immediately follow a break. It does raise eyebrows if people are out sick, I can tell you. So again, the note is worth it.

I don't know about other unions / associations, but we have weingarten rights that we can invoke if we think the meeting w/a supervisor might be disciplinary in nature. If we wish to do so, upon being "called in", we ask the super if the meeting is going to be disciplinary in nature and state that we would like representation present. This usually tempers the tone of the meeting and also allows for a rep to jump in and quote the contract language (in case you forget and / or are emotional, etc) as well as take notes on the nature of the meeting as a third party. Do you have anything like this?

Good luck - I'm sorry for your trouble. I would have been upset, too. =(

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K..

answers from Phoenix on

I don't have an answer to your questions, but I was out for 3 days with a stomach flu and the worst diarrhea ever, AND I hadn't accrued any sick time yet, so those days went unpaid. This was a Weds-Fri and my supervisor didn't take issue with any of it.

Bottom line is, he did accuse you of lying & will be monitoring you. I would get the doctor's note & make sure he, and HR got it. Next time have your spouse video you puking and send it your boss.

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K.K.

answers from Springfield on

If it were me, I would get the dr's note to him and to your HR dept for your file. That way, this unofficial talk doesn't turn in to an issue in the future. AND, he can't say he believes you and make you feel he doesn't.

As a leader, I have had that discussion with other leaders before - they used to write on performance reviews that people had taken X amount of their personal hours. I had a fit and kept having it until people quit that - you can't give a person a "benefit" and then "punish" them for using the benefit. That is nuts!

So, I think any normal human being should realize people get sick sometimes. I think he was being a turd too. He should be happy you didn't come in and give him the runs!!

I would take the note in....

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

Your boss was a turd. I had that same bug but I got mine on a Thursday night and dragged myself in on Friday only because I had to finish a project and went home at lunch time and took off Monday to make sure all was well. My company knows when I am sick, We also had the person who took off sick days whenever she got more than 2 days worth and it was frustrating trying to get work done.

Do get the note for the future. Do drag yourself in so that he can see that you are sick and send you home. Do cover all your bases with this guy as he sounds like he has someone else in mind for your job.

Good luck to you.

The other S.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Go to human resources right away and say you need a confidential talk with the appropriate person there. Emphasize "confidential"! He is on the verge of being out of line here; while your employer doesn't HAVE to give you sick leave, it IS in your employee rules (right?), and you are a solid employee with 12 years of service and he's a newbie supervisor who doesn't yet know that this kind of talk from him is what drives the experienced, good workers away. Tell HR about the discussion and especially your feeling now that if you are ill near your day off or a holiday, you now must come in sick. Tell HR that you are alerting them that he seems to have some issues with proper use of sick leave. You're basically putting HR on notice about all this in case you get sick again and this becomes a bigger issue.

I think you should indeed learn what your employee manual says about notes and sick leave rules. Don't quote it unless you need to. But there are managers who get the fear put into them when they realize that workers actually do read the rules and know them. Yeah, some managers will assume that any employee who quotes the rules is a rule-breaker at heart. But what else are you supposed to do? Say, "I'll try never to pick up a virus again, sir"?

It would serve him right if you turned up at work sick and he had to listen to you throwing up there in the office. Maybe then that would convince him.

I bet he is insecure about his own authority if he pulls this sort of thing. Or he has been burned in the past by employees who abused sick leave, which does indeed happen. I might have said to him, "Look, if you have had sick leave abused in the past by others, I'm sorry, but that is not me. My record here speaks for my professionalism. I am also not into coming in here with vomiting and diarrhea and making the rest of the work force sick."

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A.A.

answers from Columbus on

As many others have said, get the sick note for the other day and email it to your boss and HR. Also, within the email outline (in a professional manner) the conversation between you and your boss and that in the future you will get a sick note for absences. You need to document the conversation. HR is NOT on your side, they are there to look out for the company. Just by talking to HR does not mean anyone is keeping a record of this, you need to put everything in writing, IMO.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

I love Mallory P's answer. Make it unofficial but "curious" cause he was out of line. Also, in case you did need a note but didn't realize it. You don't want to piss him off by making a full out complaint unless you need to. If you have earned the time off through your time worked, then he doesn't have a leg to stand on if he pushes it. But he could be coming from having just dealt with people that WERE abusing time.

The come in anyway and privelidge things were completely stupid - you earn sick time. It's a right of employment if that's how your benefits work. He's kinda clueless.

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L.M.

answers from Dover on

I would get a note anytime you can provide one, make a copy, and give them the original even when not required. Although you took 3 days, you were off a week and many people are funny about the day before or after a holiday. If you are truly sick, you can't help when that happens.

When he told you it made you uncomfortable, I would have said something like "unfortunately, I can't control when I am sick because if I could, I assure you I would have not been sick at all. I truly was sick and it was unfortunate that it was right after a holiday but believe me, i was not having any fun at home"

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J.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Does your company have an HR department? I would talk to them about the issue.
I would also bring in that Dr.'s note even though he says he does not need it. Hand it to him and tell him that you thought it was important that he see this as you want to dispel his uncomfortable feeling.
As for in the future, I don't think there is anything you can do but make sure you have a Dr note if you are out more than 2 days. Sounds like the guy is just suspicious and if he is suspicious after 12 years of you working there and 2 years of him seeing strong attendance and punctuality, then there is nothing more you can do. Talk to HR and make them aware of the issue.

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M.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

Oh what a jerk! yes a lot of people misuse sick leaves , but I don't think any manager can talk about it unless an employee does it all the time. It only gets suspicious if the same person gets sick during the weekends especially long weekends everytime to get an extra day off. LOT of people do it, believe M.! Even if it gets suspicious, the right way would be to point it out politely and ask for a doctor's note. He says he is not accusing you but that's what he did. He should not have had this meeting with you just because he found it suspicious one time. He should have given you the benefit of doubt and let it go this time. What you say is true, you can tell illnesses to come only on particular days. Really what a jerk!

I would not take this lightly. He HAS accused you , and even though he says he is not and refused a doctor's note, you make sure you send him one. Be careful what you write in the email, don't show your anger or frustration. Don't accuse him of anything , you don't want to make it a big issue. Just say you are sorry the timing made him suspicious you were misusing the sick leaves and attach the doctors note. Also, definitely copy the email to the HR.

He is such an idiot , really .

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~.~.

answers from Tulsa on

Well, to be fair to him, sick leave IS a privilege and not a right. I have over 100 days of sick leave, but if I take them all, you can bet I will be out of a job. Unless FMLA protected or some prior arrangements have been made.

That said, after you said you would provide a doctor's note, that should have been the end of the conversation. He should have either accepted or declined without any further comments about it. I would still get a doctor's note and provide it to him or put it on file with HR.

I had a similar situation after a four day weekend where I caught the flu in the middle of it. I was also out the next two days of work. My manager was a little suspicious, but once I offered the doctor's note, she told me to send it in and feel better.

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

I think next time you're sick you should come in and breathe on him. Maybe sneeze on his phone for good measure. Just so he really, really understands that you're sick.

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

So, I think it would look shady if you were young and irresponsible on a regular basis. Seeing as he said he has never had an issue with you before, WOW!! I'm mad for you!!

If you were off 3 days and that sick, I'm sure you went to the doctor, right? Everytime I take off of work and go to the doctor, I get a note just to cover myself. It's happened twice in the last year and not for 5 years before that. Weird. But just to cover my bases. I also would have gone in to work on my day off to make up time, but I'm one of those who hates to not have any leave on the books.

I think he was way out of line though and I'd go to HR probably, just to document it.

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M.R.

answers from Seattle on

To me, it is clear what he was trying to infer, but did not have the people and verbal skills to state clearly to you.

As a supervisor, it does look 'fishy' or that the employee is taking advantage of their sick time, if and when, the sick leave is taken in conjunction with given holiday's.

It is a supervisors job to track when employees take their personal days off, sick days, etc. and to look for patterns in absences.

I know this as I've been a manager. And low and behold, there are always the same workers who are always sick on Friday when it's a Monday holiday, or sick on Monday when it's a Friday holiday.

This is what he is accusing you of, yet saying he is not accusing you, because he has only been there 2 years and you have a stellar record, but he's a jerk and trying to show you who is boss...him. And you should know now that he's watching your attendance. Honeslty, I know we can't plan on when we are sick, but company's don't care for the person who abuses the leave system. And he's not speaking to you with respect for your many years of service to this company, he's speaking to you as a rookie, quoting a conversation he probably learned in a management class, but did not have the experience to personalize it.

So, it's important to protect yourself...get the doctors note and provide both him and HR with copies, proving that you were indeed sick and not out on a cruise.

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K.W.

answers from Seattle on

Stacey B might not be willing to call your supervisor a turd, but I certainly am. He is a turd. Stacey had great advice. Get the note from your doctor and give it to your HR rep.

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P.R.

answers from Cleveland on

He's a jerk but to be practical, he's the boss. Where I work, sick time is so rarely used that we don't consider it a right. Technically it is but if someone seems to be abusing it, we assume the boss will take note and find another reason to demote or fire or cut wages etc. I believe you were sick bc I had something similar! And my boss is a sweetheart but I was very self conscious about it. I would, be very nice and bring a note to your boss and say you're really concerned that he ws uncomfortable with you being out and you're surprised given you have no history of taking much sick leave etc. So even though he didn't ask for it, you wanted to bring him a note. I'd keep it very nice and not go to hr. you don't want to piss him off.

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A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

yeah he's a dirtbag with zero to no management skills.

our policy is if you are out three days in a row you bring the note.

next time i'd just bring the note without even a question. this scenario shows it is to protect you as much as anything.

you didn't do anything wrong and if something else happens (he makes any other comments, for example) i would go to HR. and i would take my dr's note in just to have on hand.

sorry you went through that. he was completely out of line, especially if you had zero prior issues.

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S.B.

answers from Fort Myers on

He might have been afraid you are leaving, he is worried that you were looking around maybe? Or unofficial vacation time. He is looking out for his staff. It was good you offered the dr note, I would still provide it to him. I think the open communication was good. If i was at a place for 12 years and they say nothing when you return after being so sick would have been weird to me, it was kind of like "Hey, are you ok?" even if it wasnt worded that way.

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M.L.

answers from Washington DC on

You said in your SWH that he himself has taken sick leave on Mondays. Maybe this is where he gets it - he is being dishonest and is not really sick so everyone must be doing the same thing. What an A**!

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D.S.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi, 2 Daughters:

What is the policy of your company for sick leave?
Does it say anything about holidays and taking sick days?

Get your evidence together. (Doctor's slip, notation on the days and time you called. Who you talked with.)
Present it to him in the afternoon.

What is your grievance process?

At the end of the meeting, tell him you want to file
a grieve about this incident.

This man is trying to be a dictator.

Stand up and do the right thing for yourself.
Hold him accountable for his inappropriate dominance.

Good luck.
D.

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