Single Parenting and Dating

L.,

I am a 23yr old single mom with a 2yr old son. I understand where your coming from with dating and meeting people. I live at home, but my parents think that I need to take resopnsablity. They let me go out occationally but most of my friends and I don't hang out anymore because they can go out all night or have kids but are raising them different then I would with my son. And I am alittle more mature then most people my age too.

H.

Hi L.,

When I was a single mom, i found that going out once in awhile was nice! If you can once in a awhile find a trusted babysitter that would be great! As far as dating, I would recomend that unless you are planning on marrying the person, don't introduce him to your children unless you think it is very serious. The last thing your children need is to get attached to someone else only to have it not work out.

Best of luck

L.

Hello L.! I am a Certified Life Coach and would love to work with you regarding some tips to get you out and about. The first one I would recommend is you getting involved with Fresh Start Women's Foundation. It's a program that totally free to you and offers a lot of opportunities for you to network with other mothers (single and married) through great events and workshops. A lot of the workshops are focused on self - improvement (beauty, fitness, life balance, career, etc.). It's a wonderful place. You can learn more about them at www.wehelpwomen.com. There is free daycare always provided. Another great tip for you is to meet other single mothers in your situation and form babysitting circles where you each volunteer to watch one another's children for each other free of charge. If you would like me to help you work on your goals you can email me at ____@____.com can visit my website (still in process) as well at www.powerfullcoaching.com. Yes, there is 2 L's in PowerFULL. Hope this helps.

Hello L.,
Being a parent is a very hard thing.More so when you are a single one. Finding free time for yourself does not come very often but when it does it is as precious as your kids. I know where you are coming from I am a mother of seven kids I am not single but i know how to relate to you because i don't find much free time either.When you find a boyfriend share with him about your kids and then find a family member who would be willing to help you out once in awhile.All is not lost you will find more happiness. Just don't give up and always be thankful those kids are precious.
A.

I have belonged to a wonderful group called "Parents without Partners" It's a national organization with local chapters. I belong to the Denver chapter and the even opened up a Colo. Springs one. Check out their website for more info. They offer classes, activities for families (where they even help with the cost), activities for adults, forums and chat sessions,etc. There are people with every kind of families-I have seen support groups for widows/ers, single moms, single dads,. They are a great group of people that will help make this transition in you life more sane.

Hey L.,

I am a single parent as well and would like to meet other parents as well with kids. It is good to get kids together and play and that gives the adults time to talk. I use to get together 1-2 times a month with a few mothers until moving. I have a 9 year daughter and a 6 year old son. I will admit that it's not always easy to date with kids but having a 'girls night out' is a good way to meet other people.

As for what you went through leave it in the past and moving forward is all you can do. It won't be the easiest thing but for your kids you must. I have not experienced what you did as far as the divorce but I have friends who have and understand how hard it can be.

I'm a single mother in El Paso originally from the Philadelphia area. I have 3 boys the oldest 7yr old live with me full time and my two younger stays in Colorado with there dad and his wife. I've been in El Paso for 5 years I was in the military thats why I came here. I've been single in El Paso for two and a half years. I've done the internet thing, club thing(before i got saved), meet thru friends thing and from what I can tell you it was a waste of time....Honestly it does work if you stop looking and when you least expect it that person will find you. I focused on taking care of me and my kids and my future and then just like that I met someone at church and I'm in a relationship now. He is around my son because we are serious now. I will tell you it is hard with kids especially with me I don't have family here to babysit while I go out on dates. I choose very carefully who I went out with because I didn't have many times to waste on babysitting on just any body. We don't have the luxury just to go out on a date with everybody that ask. You have to take your time to get to know them perhaps on the phone and then choose your time carefully to go out you dont want to go out too much. If babysitting is an issue do lunch if you work. One night put the kids to bed early and cook dinner at home. Your not dreaming but you have to be creative!!!!!!

Hi L.!

I am also a single mom of 3. I have 2 daughters, 9 and 12, and one son, 5. My divorced was final last month after a long 3 year battle. My ex and I are friends now, but it took work! He has been out of the home for over 3 years. I have a boyfriend who has lived w/ me and the kids for 2 years. It was h*** o* them at first, but now its great. I found that the hardest thing for them is that their dad has not met anyone yet. He has not dated at all. They feel sorry for him. I have a very open line of communication w/ all of my kids. For me, that has been most helpful. I think if you know exactly how they are feeling, and you are totally honest w/ them too, things will be ok. Meeting people can be hard, especially if you have no sitter. I would suggest going to a local church, and asking about a babysitter there. You can trust in that! A lot of times, they have flyer's up on bulletin's in the church. Also, I would check out singles groups online. I know it can be scary, but now days, it's geared much better. It is safe to meet someone in an open place. So you chat online, get a photo, and meet somewhere in public. There are a lot of websites for single parents. Just google it. Good luck to you!
T.

I think that it would be a good idea to make some friends with kids so you can set of a plan to take turns babysitting. That would save you money. If they have kids around the same age as yours then they entertain themselves and you don't have to do much. Making married friends might not be so bad because then their husbands might be able to introduce you to others. I moved to my town without knowing anybody and I started selling Mary Kay. It's a great way to meet people. I would say not to introduce anybody to your kids until you think it might get serious. My mom introduced a bunch of guys to us when she and my dad got divorced and it made my brother and I feel uncomfortable and lose respect for her. Be careful.

I to am a single parent.... You have to make time for yourself. When you do go out on dates or what not be sure to tell the guy right from the bat about your children. If the guy doesnt like it oh well you can find better... Secondly dont introduce your children to any one unless you are sure hes not going anywhere. I dont let my son meet any guy unless I am sure hes a good guy. which so far has been 1. It may take a while but its better to protect your children and do it by yourself than to be selfish and maybe hurt your kids in the end. If that makes sense.

Hello I am not a singlr mom myself but its a struggle I am sure. I am 28 mom of a 3 yr old and 22mos old. I think what is important are those babies and dating is fine but there is no rush having them meet that guy. My one friend that recently married said she dates at leaste 6mos before introducing them. In the meantime make some mommy friends that will be good for you and the kids. I live in AZ so where are you exactly?

I'm 24. I only have one right now but I have a second one on the way. My daughter father and I were try to work thing out and the I got pregnant. He doesn't want me to have and he break up with me. Now I'm happy, going to have the baby and going out with friends when I can. I save up money so I can go out. I was told by a lawer that if i start dating to wait 6 month before having my daughter meet him. So that I can get to know him and see if he is going to stick around. I don't think your dreaming, I know that if I can go out and have fun and meet men you can to. You just have work at it, I know I'm having to.