Sister Living with Us

I would appreciate any input as to how I can deal with my sister and her 2 teenage daughters living with us. I would also appreciate any feedback on whether I am wrong to feel the way I do. 5 months ago, my sister called me from Florida asking if she could come and stay with us until she could find a job and get a place of her own here in Las Vegas. She is in the process of divorcing her husband and is starting over completley from scratch. Her financial situation is a total mess as well as her personal life. My husband and I did not hesitate for a second to say yes and gladly opened our home and lives to them. We have been frugal our entire lives, saving and spending wisely. We are currently financially stable (although far from well off) and didn't get caught up in the housing market crunch, don't live beyond our means or ask for help from anyone. We make many sacrifices to live a humble and stressfree life. In my earlier years before I married my current husband, I lived below poverty level, and my chuldren and I made countless sacrifices to make ends meet without asking for help. Although I did it on my own and have encouraged my sister to start making decisions on her own. I still have no problem helping her out. My husband and I enjoy helping others and do so very generously and anonymously quite oftten. My sister accurately predicted that if they stayed too long, she was afraid it may damage our close relationship and promised that it would be no more than 2-3 months. When they moved in, I asked if we could set some ground rules and she asked that I not do that to the girls because they had been through too much. Thinking that my love for my sister and nieces would far exceed any inconveniences, I agreed to wait. No rules had been set up until yesterday when my husband and I couldn't take it any longer. We have an entire upstairs that we have converted for them into their own little mini apartment so to speak (minus a kitchen of course). In doing so, we cannot have out of town guests because we no longer have a spare bedroom. Twice in the past month, my husband's family have come to visit and my husband and I ended up sleeping on an air mattress in the living room, as we gave up our bedroom to his parents for 9 days and his brother and wife for 3. One of the rooms we converted had been an antique hobby room for my husband that he is missing terribly as well as space in his garage to build as he loves to do. Just last week, she finally moved most of the boxes from our garage so he can have space to work and build out there. But not before we had to break down and spelll it out for her how inconvenient it was. We had told her in the beginning, the boxes in the garage had to be temporary. The many other things that have surfaced in 5 months are too many to name, but they are all petty if looked upon as any one individual act or occurance. A few examples are, letting their rooms and bathroom get really, really dirty. Wet towels on wood flooring, dirty laundry piling up and smelling , expecting us to cook for them, not heliping around house, not asking if they can do anything for us, or respecting our requests not to argue loudly in front of us, it makes us uncomfortable. It is the compilation of this and much more, and the build up of emotions, disrepect and selfishness that my husband feel has occured that has caused us to start feeling bad about ourselves. We have always considered ourselves good people with kind and generous herrts. We now feel ourselves not wanting to do anymore for them, although we will continue to do so resentfully, because they have no where else to turn. It has turned us into people we don't like being right now. We don't charge them a penny, and watch them spend money on things that we don't even do for ourslves. In the beginning, we whole heartedly bought them things, tried to make them comfortable, did everything they asked of us and more. In my sister's defense, with the economy as it is, it took her 3 months to find a job which none of us anticipated. I cried with her, supported and encouraged her through tihs time. Now, with her savings that she had and her income coming in steady, she needs to find a place, but is hitting brick walls with her credit being so badly. We refuse to put our name on anything for her, it is where we draw the line, because her soon to be ex is still tied in with her and they have a very shady financial past, criminal records and behind 8 years on taxes. Her niece (on her exes side) lives her as well and has offered to put them up for a while if she can't or isn;t willing to move out. we are more than ready for this, but they are reluctant to do that because it is a smaller place and further from their work and schools. we just need a break and i asked her to make a decision by 2 weeks. Am I wrong for this? She is also upset because she wants me to meet her for lunch on occasion, sit and talk at night and be as close as we used to be. I just need some space and I feel everything will be okay eventually, but she is extremely hurt and is trying to make me feel bad for feeling this way. She doesn't feel I should need any space to get over any of this. I just can't pretend everything is the same as it used to be just because we aired a few things out last night. My husband and I have a very strong marriage and will be fine, but it is causing us to bicker and pick at each other. I am starting to resent her for this too, because he is so unhappy at all the sacrifices he has made. Please tell me if I am being insensitive and should keep giving and giving without feeling like anything is being returned. She says they appreciate everything, but their actions don't match their words. Any advice or opinions are appreciated. Sorry this is so long.