Slow Start in the Academic World...

Updated on January 16, 2010
G.S. asks from Dallas, TX
19 answers

Dear mommies, I have not been the best parent to my 1st grader when he was a preschooler and kindergartener. Apparently he is not as interested in school and reading as I hoped he would be, and just realized it is my fault! I barely read to him, I did not encourage him when he accomplished things, and I did not encourage him to use his educational toys (v-tech video games, etc). I feel horrible, his grades are still decent, but his reading is at a level 3 (should be at least at a 6 according to his teacher's report). He gives up so quickly, but I realized that he has little self-confidence (no wonder, right?). I know it is not too late, but can you mommies of academically successful children please help me get as much catch-up done as possible?

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J.M.

answers from Dallas on

Read this article:
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=the-secr...

It will give you lots of good ideas to help improve learning.
Hope it helps!
Jennifer

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L.S.

answers from Tyler on

Personally, I would talk to the teacher/school and understand the report about his level 3 vs. level 6. My son is also in first grade and he is reading at level 3 and is considered one of the top readers.

Good luck!
L.

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M.S.

answers from Dallas on

Wow u have received a lot of responses.... I dont know where u live but if u r near Keller have a look @ Wild about learning Rhonda Witt has programs for 2yr olds up and she will assess your child and what class will best suit him. What is best kids love her classes they r learning without realizing it he will flourish. http://www.wildaboutlearningcenter.com/

1 mom found this helpful
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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

read read read- begin a nightly reading ritual.
When you are in the car, sing songs or recite the alphabet.
Talk about colors and shapes.

All of your kids will benefit from this!

1 mom found this helpful

C.M.

answers from Dallas on

Its not too late! :)

If he isnt into reading and a trip to the library is the last thing he would want to do, just get some books you know he will like. How do you know what? What does he like? Bugs, airplanes, aliens, mysteries, ect.

Then get some of those books and just read to him. Make silly voices for the characters and read with emotion. I bet it wouldnt take a week for him to actually enjoy sitting down for that time. Keep on doing it everyday until he breaks the cycle.

After a couple of weeks, when he is really enjoying this time, maybe requesting things you get next, then start to have him read a paragraph or page and then you read one.

If it isnt something he ever enjoys, dont give up! Just keep with it as at least a couple time a week routine.

My oldest NEVER liked reading. She loved being read to, but not reading herself. She is 11 and just this year her love for reading has blossomed. She reads chapter books after chapter books, she can read a whole book in a day. She is always asking to go to the library to get something new, we borrow stacks of books at a time now.

I truly believe that this love she now has, was fostered through years of us reading together. No, for the last few years we havent read everyday together, but at least a few times a week.It finally clicked and now I know she will not have a problem with the literature she will need to read for jr high/highschool and college.

GL!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.F.

answers from Dallas on

You will reamin in my prayers. Your post really touched me....You are busy, and no doubt exhausted! SAHM is great but not neccesarily the answer.
I can make alot of suggestions, but only you know what will work with your schedule. I work full time as well and have had no choice but to make time for supporting my 9 year old's academic success. Here's some things that helped me....

Take care of you first: When you get home from work, take 15 minutes for YOU! (If you are picking them up from somewhere and coming home... find something that you can have them doing for 15 minutes as soon as you walk in the door.) I have my daughter straighten her room, or pick up the living room for me...sometimes it's 15 minutes on the computer - anything really to keep her satisfied until I have had a moment to get into Mommy mode. After a routine, they will earn to come home and scurry off for a few, not being underfoot from the second you walk in the door, which is frustrating even tho you miss them!

I think when you work full time, the key is a schedule.

I get home at 6:15. I retreat to my room for 15-20 minutes to change clothes, maybe fold a load of clothes, take a hot shower if I've had a crummy day. The kids are watching TV or having a snack. When I come out, I start dinner and she is right there telling me all about her day. I usually have her do homework while I am cooking, and I am nearby if she needs help.
I think in 1st greade, the required reading was 15 minutes. Sometimes I would have her sit in bathroom and read while I am taking a shower! Let's face it, if I waiting until I had 15 minutes when I wasn't doing anything else, that 15 minutes would never come. You know what will work best for your house, but you have to make the time. Have to.

Ask your child's teacher what websites she likes, and save them to your favorites... maybe he would enjoy reading from a webpage instead of a book? Maybe on the weekends you give him more computer time if he _________ (whatever you are needing him to do: complete the assignment, read 3 pages, whatever....) And while he on the computer, he is learning!

Pick a door or wall in your home that is dedicated to your child's accomplishments.... even the "participation" awards, even an A on a test. Even his DARE ribbon... when he says " See what I made?"
With younger sibs, I know it's hard to focus on only one of them. This is easy, takes no time, and what's better is he will quickly learn to do it himself! Ours is on the hall closet door.

I only have ONE left in school. I know it is completey different with three! You just have to find what is a balance for you and your family - but putting him first for a while is not anything to feel bad about.
Take Heart! 1st grade is a challenge and we all have to adjust - you are only 1/2 way thru the year, with plenty of time to establish some new habits. The battle is won already with you being a mom who cares and wants to make adjustments for the success and well being of your child.

I will be checking for posts from you regarding his progress! You GO girl!

1 mom found this helpful
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L.T.

answers from Lubbock on

Sounds to me that you are being too h*** o* yourself. Did the teacher say you were the reason for his level 3? You have 3 kids and a full time job, no one is super woman. As long as you love your kids and are giving them attention you are a great Mom.

Some kids are not eager to read. Either they don't like it or have a hard time due to dyslexia. Do not force reading on your child. Sit down with all three and read a book to them. Let your 7 year old read the easy words you know he has learned (the, I, are, was, etc) through out the story. If he gets frustrated let him just read one word he is comfortable with. If he can easily do the few words, then let him read a page aloud and you read the next. Make it fun. Find a series of books he likes to read. Scooby Doo, Transformers, Star Wars, etc.

Everyone learns at their own pace. He may be a 3 today but can become a 6 next progress time. If not, that does not make you a bad Mom.

Hope you find the answer you are looking for.

1 mom found this helpful

D.C.

answers from Dallas on

Hi GS,

Don't feel bad, I have slacked off with my daughters reading as well. She's still learning so it's not too late (not saying it's too late for you) but I found a company called The Education Station in McKinney that helps teach kids reading and math. I am signing my daughter up next week so she can get started. The kids can go twice a week for 30 minutes and they will help them learn to read or to help them stay above the learning curve. It's about 100 a month for reading, I think it's a good investment and worth trying. Maybe you should look into that also. It's overwhelming when you have multiple children and they all have their set of mommy requirements, I completely understand so don't get down on yourself. Just start from this point on and see what you can do to help him or if it's too overwhelming for you alone then try that program I mentioned.

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G.A.

answers from Dallas on

Do not beat yourself up. I also did not really help my children in school as I was a slow learner. Later over years I realized I and my son are both dyslexic. My daughter was way different. Well, I see my granddaughter like my daughter. For years I would and still do lose my car every time I go into a mall or Hospital parking lot. Over time realize to pay more attention. Little things as organized I am but paper work is hard and probably because I do not know how or have a good system. By the time they were 3-4th grade they were doing things I did not know how. I would put books in the bathroom and love books even though I never read. Over years at 50 something I went to College online and feel a great sense of pride accomplishing a degree and even though not a Masters, I no longer feel stupid. We all have things we are not into. Your children need your love and to love and fear God more then anything. I do know that I started reading self improvement books when I was late 40's and once I found books I enjoyed, my reading changed. 15 min before bed soon turned into 30, then 1 hr, then I spent a whole day readying and it felt so good. Today I donot have the time or luxury of reading all day but still love to read, and I also speed read as starting that 15 min at night. It takes practice. As a youngster, I never found books I liked to read. Starting with a lot of detail of characters and soon I was board with it. I still read one word at a time and out loud when I was in High School and I did poor in school. In College a decade later, I did well, interested in learning and now project it into my Home Day Care. My burn is to teach children learning is fun. Everything has a meaning and reason and fun. When my children were 2 and 3 I became a single mom and that was the hardest thing in my life. I only had two. My washer broke down, dryer and off to the laundry every night. My daughter had a kidney that did not grow and wet every night. My son acted out and it was not all fun but every time I had time, we went camping or picnicing or anything I could find cheap fun. Looking back I did a lot and probably more then other families. I always had kids at my house. We went to a fish farm and caught fish. We camped and learned to swim and dance and music is a big part of our lives. I regret my children did not have a dad around but I did the best I could. One advice given to me years ago still stands true. You do what you can and you do not always have that same information at the time. Back then I did what I knew to do. Today maybe know more, but did not know at the time. It is not too late and was a struggle for me. It is not your fault. My granddaughter has been a great kid always achieving and I had nothing to do with it. She learned to read on her own and excells on her own. She had a bad 5 yrs with parents and no stable home living where ever but now she has stability. God has a sense of humor. My second chance is in her and the little ones who are part of my life. It also has to be the child needs to take responsibility you can not do it alone. God Bless G. W

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

Make learning fun and your time togethe enjoyable to you both. How about starting a book club with him? Go to the library together and check out some books in the children's section that interest him and have a set time to read and discuss the books everyday or every other day or on weekends(whatever schedule works for you both). My kindergartener loves a book called Pete's a Pizza. It is about a little boy whose dad makes him into a pizza because he is stuck in the house because it's raining outside. We read the book while acting it out just like the dad in the book does. My son loves it!

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A.O.

answers from Dallas on

I agree with the other moms...we all look back and think we could have done more. we ALL do! One thing you can look into doing which i think will be good for both of you is go and get some of those workbooks that work on reading recognition and phonics. You can find them at book stores, toys r us, etc. They have workbook pages, just like they work on in school and you guys can do them together. He's learning and YOU are getting more of the time and interation with him that you are trying to work on! Give it a shot!

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J.K.

answers from Mansfield on

Don't be so h*** o* yourself. I did all the "right" things with my son and he still had alot of trouble. Boys are just not that into school. My son loves reading now (in 5th grade) but in Kindergarten they wanted to hold him back because of his poor reading skills (like basically none!) He struggled with this until 3rd grade then all of a sudden he got it and LOVES to read. Infact he competes with his teacher on who can read the most pages over the weekend or throughout the week, etc. He still rushes through paperwork but he has learned what was taught to him.
It is never too late to start reading to him and/or encouraging him and praising his successes. Set small goals for him (large long term goals are too hard and out of reach for most kids especially boys). If your son (like most boys) like video games, there are tons of learning softwear out there to help him while he is having fun! Hope this helps:)

V.C.

answers from Dallas on

Don't be so h*** o* yourself! I agree with the other advice.
I read constantly to both my boys from the time they were about 2 months old. But my youngest just did not get reading by 2nd grade. He was so frustrated and I thought he would never learn. Part of our problem was his 1st grade teacher and I kick myself still for not getting him transferred. But he always loved me reading to him. Now he is in high school and excels. Some children just learn things differently and at different rates.
Victoria

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H.P.

answers from Dallas on

Give Gayla McGinnis at Club Z Tutoring a call.Her number is ###-###-####.They come to your home and do all subjects. The teachers are certified and they are also very affordable. Gayla is a mom herself and a very caring person. I think you will be very happy with her and her team.

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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

:-) Just start now and try to not make it a chore or a punishment. Let him pick topics he's interested in and you read to him- so he can learn that reading is worth the time.

Let him help create, read, and check off grocery lists or recipes as you go through them. Sometimes when you are reading a book have him search and see if he can find a particular word on the page, make it a game. Allow him to read familiar or unfamiliar (but his level) stories to you in exchange for staying up a few minutes extra (say It's REALLY time for you to sleep- and I am done reading, but if you'd like to read a short story to ME, then you can do that before i turn off the lights). Most kids really love trips to the library to pick out books, but at this age he'll likely need your help. You can get a list of suggested reading from his teacher possibly. Librarians are terrific resources as well.Whatever you can do to make it rewarding will peak his interest and encourage natural learning tendencies. Bonus- it will also make your personal bond with him stronger.

Don't waste time with guilt, just pick it up now and enjoy your time together. Also, it helps if kids see that YOU enjoy reading too. While he is looking at books, or even playing- try to spend a few minutes relaxing with a book too.

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J.B.

answers from Tyler on

Don't judge yourself so harshly, and don't overreact. Encourage your child by reading, but don't make it a chore. Lots of kids, particularly boys, have slow starts, but excel later. My own husband nearly flunked every elementary grade. In 7th something clicked and he started studying. He made A's from then on---and carried A's and B's throughout college working full time and serving in the Nat'l Guard. Maturity has so much to do with it. He says he wasn't ready for school at age 6! Learning should be like breathing. Find something to learn in everything you do with him, whether it is reading road signs, studying bugs, or in whatever he shows interest.

A.G.

answers from Dallas on

Don't beat yourself up.

Bob books are great for beginning readers. Starfall.com is a good website that is fun for kids. I bet he'll catch up quickly!

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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

Please don't be so h*** o* yourself. Part of the reason my kids are in Day Care (I have to work) is because I knew I wouldn't be great at doing those things with our kids.

But, he's 6, and you have a lot of time to turn things around.

My husband is an avid reader, I am not. He makes it a point to read 2 stories (or 3 for a treat) to our 3 year-old each night. They make going to the library an event.

Not every child will learn the same way. I was blessed to be very smart throughout high school but hit the wall in college because I don't know how to study. I wish I'd struggled early-on and learned how to study.

My best recommendation is to find something he really loves and do what you can to use that as a base of education. If he loves trucks, find books at the library and get him really interested in those. Whatever it takes to get him to want to learn - hopefully, in collaboration with his teachers, you'll be able to get him back on track.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I have read that kids that are farther ahead in pre-K and K actually level out with all the other kids in first and second grade. The good news? He's still a little sponge and can absorb knowledge VERY quickly! It's not too late. Try starting by reading O. book at bedtime each night. Something he's really interested in. My first grader likes grown up books about football, etc. I read a chapter and have him read what he can. While in the car, make a game of reading signs, etc. Don't stress. Just place more emphasis on learning now. Don't beat yourself up.

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