Son Is Turning into Ultimate Picky Eater

My son gets that way too. What I do is I do not give him any other foods if he does not eat any of his food s that are given to him. I try to give him a choice though. Like I will make something to go with what I am making. My son is like me he likes a variety of foods. You could add things to the food you are giving him. Like for the spaghetti you could add mushrooms, chicken to it to give more of a taste. you can add to his other foods as well when you cook something different. If you are giving him vegetables you can add a little butter or ranch dressing or salad dressing. You can add whip cream to his fruit. You can make him soothies and add fruits and vegetables in the smoothie so he is geting his nutrution.

Hello M.,

My daughter Jennifer, who is now 17 years old, used to be very picky. When she was about 2 years old, all that child would eat was grilled cheese and french fries lol. I mean, literally, for breakfast, lunch and dinner. My big worry was, was she getting enough vitamins and such. I consulted her pediatrician and was told if THAT is all she wants to eat, then let her eat it.
At least I knew she WAS eating lol. Whenever we went out to eat, we had to go to places that served grilled cheese and french fries, for quite sometime. To this day, Jennifer is picky, although she does eat more than those two items now.
I would take a afternoon and try different things for him, find a couple things you know he will eat real well, and make him those, even if the family is eating something else.
The whole point being, at least he is eating something, even if its not what you are eating.
He will outgrow it and become a big eater again!

Good Luck
T.

(I think) Kids eat when they get hungry, so a few bites at dinner is OK, maybe at breakfast he will eat more. They will also eat more if they help fix it.

I don't know if this will help and I am not even sure I would be able to do it...I would suggest checking with your peditrician before doing because it is old school in my opinion, but my mom's approach was to cook a meal and put it on the table. We all came to the table and we had to set there during dinner time whether we ate or not. We were not allowed to fix or have anything other than what was served and we were not allowed to eat anything in between meals (however now it is considered better to eat five or six small meals so I would include at least two snacks: one between breakfast and lunch; one between lunch and dinner ~ but make it a healthy snack and scheduled so something is offered at least every 2 1/2 to 3 hours ~ this helps keep sugar level)...my mom's theory was that when we were hungry we would eat and she never forced us to eat when we didn't want to. There were three children in my family and absolutely none of us are picky eaters. There are foods we like better than others, but we eat a large variety of foods. I hope this helps and I have never had to institute it to a picky eater so I won't say it is easy...and please, please check with your doctor first to make sure there is not a medical concern for the change. Take care.
J.

I work with children in a daycare environment, and I am getting my degree in it as well. I also have a very picky eating three year old, so I feel your pain.

What really works is not drawing attention to the fact that your child is not eating. Set the food at the table and let the family eat. When the attention is away from the food and onto something else, your child very well may eat the food. If not, don't offer something else later like a snack if your child complains of being hungry. (Give milk that will fill them up and give them nutrients, but isn't viewed as a treat by your child.)

My daughter will talk and whine at the table, but we don't mention the fact that she is not eating. When we are done, we get up and go on.. she opts to sit at the table and eat. Come to find out, she's too social to even pay attention to her meal. (She does the same thing at school, too.)

Don't worry about your child starving... he won't let himself! :) And as far as pickiness goes, it's very common for the age and it will pass as just another one of those "phases"!

They say when your child is hungry enough, they will eat. This picky eater thing is a phase. It takes 10-15 tries of something for a child to "decide" they like it. This has rung true for my kids. My five year old son will now eat peas, asparagus, steak, shrimp, pastas, etc...and we are currently working on spinach :). I have also eliminated snacks within a couple hours of dinner time, then my son is really hungry and tends to eat much better (whatever we are having). I also give my kids V-8 fusion juice, at the recommendation of my pediatrician. They love it and it gives them their daily supply of fruits and veggies. I agree that you should not fix multiple meals. Try asking what your child would like for dinner tonight and see if you can easily incorporate it as a part of your dinner. Maybe if he feels like he has some say, he'd be more prone to try the things YOU decide he should eat along with the things HE would like to eat. Best of luck!

You shold read MY CHILD WONT EAT: How to Prevent and Solve the Problem" by Dr Carlso Gonzalez. Essentially, it teaches you that your job as a parent is to provide healthy eating options and your son's job is to eat what he needs. Healthy children won't starve themselves. They will eat eventually! It's a great book and very helpful.

My son went through the same phase...so here's what we did. First, we realized that part of the problem was us. What I mean is, Andrew wouldn't eat, so we excused him. Then, he got to go play, which he clearly prefered to eating. Later, when he was hungry, he would get a snack. The solution to that was that when he got down, the TV definitely stayed off, and while he could play, the snack he'd get later was...the dinner he didn't eat! I also started really looking at what I was serving....if I'm making stir-fry, which Andrew probably won't eat, I make sure that I serve green beans, which he will, and some fruit as well. I encourage him to eat one bite (sometimes 2 or more if I know he likes it and is just being 3) of what we are eating and he will usually eat the stuff he likes. In one of the parenting mags I get, the author was saying that offering dessert with the meal and allowing your child to eat whatever he/she wants from her plate encourages healthy eating. Finally, the other thing I realized was that my son was tired at dinner. My husband doesn't get home until 7 or so, and sometimes I try to wait to eat. My son needs to have eaten no later than 6:45 to eat a good dinner, so I've started feeding him earlier, and offering him a small snack while we eat dinner. I hope this helps you...if you need to chat, write back and I will try to help more if I can!

As long as he is not filling up on liquids or unhealthy snacks prior to a mealtime, I wouldn't make a big deal about it. As you have been, I would continue to encourage eating his dinner, but do not allow it to stress you and the rest of the family to the point where you cannot enjoy your own. It is a phase that will come and go through out the childhood years. Maybe make a fun design on his plate with the same food that everyone else is eating - it may help. Give him smaller than normal portions while he is through this phase so you don't waste any food. If he actually eats it, than you could always add more.

However, I would emphasize to him the importance of at least sitting there and enjoying everyone's company until everyone else has finished eating and talking. Do not let him get down to play since that may be partially why he doesn't want to eat - he'd rather be playing. Once you feel the family has finished, then he could be "excused" from the table. I think that is a lesson in respect and common courtesy that he can use into adulthood.

We've gone through this a bit, though not nearly as bad as it could've been! So, maybe it is a phase? He's trying out his ability to bargain with you...don't give in!

A couple things that worked for us:
1. Vegetables make you "grow" ("How did Daddy get so tall? He ate veggies," and the like encourages our son to at least take a few bits of green things.)
2. Persistence--don't remove foods b/c of a negative attitude. Just like with baby's first foods, keep presenting the broccoli until it's accepted. With us, he objected to the stems but will eat the tops. We tell him it's "baby" broccoli and act cute about it.
3. Have him cook with you. It doesn't always work for us, but it has been successful enough times...and it is fun!
4. Time limits, etc. Ours will dawdle through dinner, usually talking instead of eating. We've used "take three more bites" and other small steps to get him to eat little by little, or we've taken away his plate when we're done with ours. Don't let him win the power struggle.
5. Hidden foods--I know another post said some kids can tell, but ours usually can't. If you need help, I've heard Jessica Seinfeld's cookbook, "Deceptively Delicious," is great. I don't own it. Also, Rachael Ray's "Yum-O" recipies (or any of her other recipies) are fantastic.

Good luck!

You can always just tell him, this is what I'm fixing this is what your eating, and if he doesnt let him go hungry, he will eat when he gets hungry enough, also look into desert..make it known everyone that cleans their plate is going to get desert, and stick too that, dont put but half of what you would normally put on his plate, that way he doesnt feel overwhelmed, but stick to your guns, and dont be afraid to let him see you enjoying desert, this way he can see you mean business, plus it gives him something to work towards.

I am a first time mom so I'm not going to try to sound like I know it all. My son will be two next week. He gose through the same thing all the time too. He will love something one week and two weeks later say it is yucky. All I can say is stick to your guns. Keep preparing one meal for your family. YOu are doing the right thing their I think by not catering to you kids. I guess the thing to remember is that your son wont go hungry if he is hungry he will eat. We have a three bite rule in our house everyone has to take three bites of everything. Even mommy and daddy! And sometimes I do use bribery. I will say if you take three bites of peas I will give you half a cookie but if you eat them all I will give you the whole cookie. And Last, sometimes I do get in a rut of cooking the same meals and offering him the same things so I try to mix it up for him. He loves blueberries and then on day he just stop eating them and I couldn't understand but he had had them for lunch almost everyday for the past month(when I stopped to think about it). So now it has been about two weeks since we have bought blueberries at the store. I don't think you are doing anything wrong really just hang in there and try not to get too stressed out. Hopefully someday again he will like you speghetti and meatballs!

Give it time. My son is 3 1/2 and did the same thing. He always was a great eater and then suddenly wouldn't eat things he LOVED before.
I always told him that he had to try one bite and then had to sit while his dad and I finished our meals. After that if he wasn't hungry he could get down. Then the meal sat there for a little longer and then I covered it and put it away. Later if he was hungry I'd warm it up. Sometimes he still wouldn't eat it and then his option was something simple, a PB sandwich or a bowl of cereal. Nothing I had to cook. He sometimes took the option, sometimes ate his food. He will occasionally still do this, but it's wearing off.
Our doctor said, "If he's hungry, he'll eat." He also advised offering the simple alternatives in case our son really didn't like the food I'd prepared. Taste buds do change over time so just because he used to love it, doesn't mean he always will.
Best of luck.

Our pediatrician and I had this conversation when my child stopped eating as well as she used to. The doc said don't worry about it. Let the child guide you. Offer a well balanced meal and let them eat. The child's body will tell them what to eat. I have stuck to this and have noticed that it is really true. I never push the children to eat. If my son skips his veggies one day, he may goble up all his broccoli first the next day. You may have to make sure you are offering healthy, small snacks in between meals which makes more work for mothers. Kid's tummies are small and snacks are good for them. They can't eat a lot at one time. Good luck!

When your child is hungry he will eat. Turn off tv and music so there is no distractions.If he complains tell him sorry but you can eat or not eat but please by quiet if you are only going to complain.

All kids go through this phase and I think especially when it gets close to the end of a season when you have cooked the same things for a few months and everyone is ready for a change. (Our menu is about the same all the time too for winter foods and summer foods). But even at that I think you have to pick your battles and make them eat some of the dinners (even if they have to sit there for hours)and on occassion when you do have something your not quite sure they really like (but always make them try one bite)you can give in and do the pbj as it's better to eat than not. My deal always is no snack at least 2 hours before dinner and if you don't eat what's cooked, you get absolutely nothing later and don't give in on that one, or you will forever fight the picky battle!

I have two girls that have been through this. We developed a "YUK" list. They could put 3 foods on their personal "YUK" list. I would not make them eat the yuk foods when we ate them and would allow them a substitute. If they wanted something new on their "YUK" list they had to eat one of the things on the list before removing and replacing it. We also stopped all sugared beverages in the house and would not allow snacks two hours before meal times. I work very hard to have healthy snacks available. At your son's age you could put a muffin tin with healthy snacks out on your table. Put carrots, blueberries, broccoli, grape tomatoes, grapes, etc. Use different colors and as Dr. William Sears says "Let him graze" A child will run by and pick up something, eat it and go on. You will know he is getting good nutrition. When it is time to eat your meal put a small amount of food on his plate and encourage him to eat it. We never made mealtime a battle zone. We always used dessert as an incentive to eat. When my girls ate a sufficient amount they could have dessert. Okay, I admit we vocally enjoyed our desserts more than we normally would have!:) I tried to have healthy desserts too, like strawberries with whip cream or fresh pineapple but occasionally we also had the chocolate cake. When everyone is finished eating all food is put away. If he is hungry you can reheat his meal for him later. Let him know what is expected of him and that you aren't going to wait for him to eat. My 9 yr old is going through yet another phase of this. We make her sit at the table until we are all finished then we, again, enjoy our dessert. She tried something new last night, Yippe!
We also never allowed our girls to say "I don't like that or I hate that" I am from the south and I think that is rude and disrespectful of whoever prepared the meal. We have our girls say, "thank you, but I don't care for this" but they can only say that after they have tried the item. That little phrase really pays off when you are in someone elses home with new and different foods.

My girls have gone through cycles where they ate certain foods and then they decided they didn't like them for a time. I did that too. We keep encouraging them to broaden their horizon. Our 14 yr old would never eat meat unless we made her but now she will eat chicken, turkey and occasionally steak. I do allow her to eat spaghetti with no meat in the sauce. That is a little concession I am willing to make. She loves any kind of fruit and veggies and will eat 3-4 apples a day as well as other fruits. She will probably be healthier than all of us!

Hope this helps - good luck!

Kids go through periods of not eating. If you make it clear that this is dinner and there won't be anything else, they will eat if they are hungry. Don't stress the amount they are eating at any particular time.

I can relate to you M. -- my three kids, now 12,8 and 5 were a definate challenge to feed and to continue to try new things. Your son is at the exact age when he is exerting more power in his choices!!! Good for him -- ugh for you. What I tried to do was always a food that the child was definately going to eat. Say.... Macaroni and cheese. Then we also had a new or a "yucky" item that you only had to take-the-number-of-bites-as-your-age. So... your son would need to eat 3 green beans, so to say before he could have seconds of macaroni and cheese. This was easy for my kids and it did not take long for them to catch on!! Which by the way all my kids love brocilli, cauliflour, brussel sprouts, okra, cucumbers, most all raw veggies except radishes and I can live with that. All were happy and I cooked alot less!!
Good luck to you and your family.
K.

I also have a VERY picky 4year old boy. I have been able to break him of it very very slowly by doing the following:

At dinnertime I serve him the same food I serve everyone else. I try to have atleast one thing on his plate that he likes, like a piece of garlic bread, roll, applesauce, something like that, but still is something that all of us are having. If he doesn't eat a good amount of dinner, I save his plate, and later when he's hungry I offer it to him. It's up to him whether he wants to eat it or not. A lot of times, he'll choose to not eat rather than to eat the leftover dinner. But, that's his choice. It's not like he'll starve to death. Another thing that's very important is to not pressure him. Remember that there are two roles at the table. One is yours, the other is of the people eating. Your role is to cook a healthy meal and serve it. Their role is to eat it and also to decide how much they're going to eat. If you force food on him, you're only going to make a bad impression on him with the food he's being forced to eat. I sit there and comment on how great certain things on my plate are and just hope that he'll try. Sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn't. Once you stop making such a big deal out of the whole thing, they really do start to come around on their own. Brayden has recently started eating things that he has NEVER touched before. It's all by just leaving the choice up to him with no pressure, and at the same time saving the leftovers for him for later in case he gets hungry instead of cooking him something else, which is giving in to him and giving him the power that you should have.

My husband and I refuse to bargain, short-order cook or 'reason' with them constantly (telling them 5 times a meal 'veggies will make you strong'). I cook a nutritious balanced meal with lots of variety. I also try to make at least one thing I know each child will like. Then I put it in front of them. My job as a parent is then done. At that point, it's the child's job to eat, or not eat. I serve snacks and meals at the same time everyday. My 5 year old will eat pretty much anything put in front of him. He has learned that if he doesn't eat, he'll be hungry for a couple hours before the next chance to eat. I am reasonable.... I know there are a few foods that he honestly can't stand the taste of and I don't force him to eat them or go hungry. For those meals, I make sure there are plenty of other things he does like. After all, I would be very upset if someone forced me to eat foods I really don't like.

My 2 year old has recently hit the picky eater stage and she hasn't learned yet. She often won't eat a meal/snack and then is hungry and begging for food an hour later. It took my son a few weeks to learn and get through this stage so I expect it to take about the same with her. We'll do the same thing with the baby when she's older, too.

Just as an FYI, the picky eating thing isn't just about asserting their independence, although it often does end up in a major power struggle. It's an instictal survival trait that's been passed down. Babies often eat whatever you give them. By age 2-3, though, kids are much less likely to eat new foods. For many years, eating 'new' foods meant a high likelihood of eating a poisonous plant so kids are wired to not try new things. Most kids will outgrow it by 3-4 years old -- as long as they have not gotten into the habit of dictating their dinners and having mom being a short-order cook.

Ok here is old grandma again, LOL. Not really I am 54 yrs old mother of two wonderful kids, son-30 & daughter 27, & an 8 yr old grandson.
Point is my son was and still is a very picky eater but he still ate. He was about your son's age when his pickiness really started showing. He did exactly what your son is doing, I got so frustrated and concerned that I took him to the doctors. The doctor told me that as long as he is healthy, gaining weight and he at least eats something not to worry it is a phase that all kids, especially little boys, go thru (preparing them for stubbornness when they reach puberty?)
He said it probably won't last long, he was right it didn't last long before he was eating again. But he still is picky, though he tries things before turning up his nose all together. Hope this helps.

Put a very small amount of food on his plate, literally one Tablespoon, and tell him he can get seconds. I realized that this tactic worked with my picky girl. And I mean picky, I swear she only ate Maccaroni and cheese for months. She is my little carbivore. Bread, Pasta (only with cheese sauce), Crackers, and only fruits. Now that she is 4 she is slowly trying things and expanding her food repertoire. It drives my husband nuts, but I made the rule that if she tries something new, she does not have to put it in her mouth, she only has to lick it. When things pertaining to food on her terms things are much easier and she is more open to trying new things. I hate fighting and pushing at every meal.
The mantra that got me through was, when she is going to college she won't just be eating Mac and cheese, which was altered from my potty training mantr of no kid goes to college in diapers, they all get it eventually...
Hope this helps and good luck

Your son may go hungry a few days, but he will not starve. He will eat if he is truly hungry. As long as you offer appropriate choices, it is up to him. My boy went to bed hungry probably 2 times. Not for a lack of choices. I put plenty of food in front of him and gave him plenty of time to eat it. He learned a bit after that.

Without expecting too crazy out of him, offer him what the family is having and be done with it.

He can sit as long as he likes, but when everyone else is done eating you may all be excused.

He may be excused when the adults are done. He doesn't have to eat, but eat or not he is sitting there until you are done.

Oh, when you figure this one out, let me know! My youngest child is the same way. When we were feeding him baby food, he ate everything. Now, it seems all he wants to eat is macroni and cheese, bread, cereal, and anything sweet (pancakes because of syrup-cookies, cakes, etc)

I've tried everything I can think of to get him to eat, but he pretty much refuses lunch and dinner. There came a time with my other two when I had to fight to get them to understand that "you eat what i put in front of you" but with the youngest, this just doesnt work.

He wants to drink half a gallon of milk in a day, and would if I let him, but will hardly eat. for a while I started putting instant breakfast in his milk, but after a few days he wouldnt drink it anymore. I've even tried "hiding" purees carrots in Macaroni and Cheese but he KNOWS its there (the other two dont, they're clueless and gobble it up!).

And he's also learned how to make himself vomit on demand, so if I get frustated and try to put food to his lips just to get him to taste it, he'll vomit on me.

Im at my wits end. I've tried everything I can think of, and nothing works. Be sure to give him vitamins. (IF he'll eat them!)

If anyone tells you it's a phase, I beg to differ! My oldest was an 11 year old picky eater. Like you, I refuse to be a short order cook to my children at every meal. The dinner meal is set on the table. If you like it, great, dig in. If you don't like it, don't eat! After going to bed hungry a couple of times, the degree of "picky" has declined greatly. DO NOT give in to after dinner snacking though. That would be the key: no snacking. If they want to snack on a piece of fruit instead of dinner, they may, but nothing else. I don't really have any picky eating problems now (3 boys: 11, 5,4). They all know the rules and there are no exceptions! (It's for YOUR own good!)

Before he was 2, my DS was a great eater. But, he gradually refused to eat just about everything. We've been struggling with this for years, so I share your frustration!

We tried being the short order cook, but it caused problems in daycare - they wouldn't cater to his tastes. We tried negotiating - he only had to eat one thing on the table (and I always had one thing he would eat), but it led to arguments every meal.

Finally, we did resort to both positive and negative reinforcement. We make one meal. We put a small amount of everything on his plate. If he doesn't eat it in a set amount of time (he's quite willing to sit and whine about it for hours), then that meal is his dessert, snack, or next meal until its gone (or it's too gross to eat). He's only made us give him the meal again twice. Now, although he complains about it, he does eat what we eat.

For positive reinforcement, we allow him to choose one item of the meal - such as peas or corn as the vegetable. We also give him his favorite non-sweet (peanut-butter crackers) for eating the food he doesn't like. That way, he doesn't go away hungry.

We're still working on the whining though. If anyone has any good suggestions for that, please let me know!

Good luck!

M.,
my daughter is a bit of a picky eater. i don't, however, think she's quite as stubborn as your little guy. sometimes she will tell me she doesn't like a certain food before she even tastes it. i do the same as one of the other moms - comment on how tastey the food is. sometimes i lie to her about what the food really is - i was trying to get her to eat okra the other day and she said "i don't like it". because they were whole okra, not sliced, i told her they were beans. she said "i don't like beans." i said yes you do - you like green beans, baked beans, refried beans. then she remembered she likes beans and ate the okra. i don't know how to lie about spaghetti and meatballs, though :)
another thing i do with other issues is use her "role models" - which are dora, super heros, pirates - all those characters. we were having potty training issues so i bought a dora potty training book and reminded her each time to be a big girl like dora and go on "big adventures!" :)
also, she has a terrible time with anything that we have to change. i.e - her crib to a twin size bed. she was just not about changing her bed (sometimes it's hard to change her clothes :) i told her that her new bed is a pirate ship and she is the captain. then she was all about it.
so i guess my advice is try to find things/characters that he likes and incorporate that into explaining what things are and what he must do.
good luck!

Good Morning M.,

Although my children are not THAT picky, our daughter eats like a bird. She is 28 months and weighs about 23 lbs soaking wet! I also have an extensive background, and my degree is in early childhood development. The biggest thing for you to know is that there are two things that children are in complete control over...eating and toileting. It could be that your son feels as though he is losing control in some area of his life, and food is where he is "making his own decisions". Take it in stride. When he is hungry, he will eat, it is up to you to make sure that those few bites that he does eat are pretty nutritious for the most part. Don't get into a power struggle over it, and don't stress. This will probably pass in another month or so and you will have a whole new challenge in front of you. Good luck, and let me know if I can help further.
N.

When my twins were 3 they went through a phase like this, and of course I was worried, so I finally asked their pediatrician about it. She looked them over and they were fine, so she gave me this advice. She said that sometimes children go through dry spells on eating, and that no child naturally will starve himself, so they clearly were just not hungry. I relaxed a bit and put their usual favorites on the table, served them very small portions and let them leave the table when they said they were done. If they asked for food between meals, I offered them healthy snacks, like fruit, peanut buter and crackers, again, in very small quantities. Three is also an age where they figure out that they do have some control, and refusing food, even when they're hungry seems like control to them. At an age where they are virtually being controlled in everything they do, eating and potty-ing are two things they can have control of. Eventually, because I didn't turn it into a power struggle, they began to eat again, but I also found that they went through that phase again when they were 4. Its pretty normal. Another thing you can do is to try and increase their activity a little between meals,which might make them hungry at meals. This same Dr. told me that children's stomachs are about the size of their fists, so thats not a lot of room for too much food. Good luck!

1. Remind them CONSTANTLY that trying new things is fun (if it's something new AND...that they don't have to like everything) We call it a "courtesty bite". If someone takes the time to prepare for you then you can at LEAST take a bit.

2. TALK ABOUT WHY FOOD IS IMPORTANT TO YOUR BODY and if you don't eat what your body needs.......you get sick! I'm a former pre-school teacher who cooked EVERY DAY with the kids and they were so informed that the parents told me their kids were teaching THEM about nutrition. They LOVE learning!!! I also have a five year old "nutritionist" here at the house. I started working with her at 2. If you talk about it on their level.....they can and do understand. If you don't know.....LEARN......and talk about it together as a family!

hi there. i am 36 and this is how i was when i was a girl. i remember realizing the food i was eating- hotdogs i would peel the skins off of and i think it must have begun about this age- i remember my mom telling me i used to eat things that i would not at the time. It was texture. and i sat at the babysitters house in front of a plate of ugly stinky food for hours, which was fine with me because i did not want to eat it. My mom asked the doc. about it and he said i was healthy and to not worry about it-Thank YOU God! i was NOT trying to 'get my way' i just acutely was aware of the food i was eating and just did not want to EAT IT. It is as if i developed discernment. Meat i did not like -like a steak- because i would chew and chew and it would not break down in my mouth and i would have this piece of tastless meat in my mouth that i couldn't break down and it did not feel right- it was icky and all i wanted to do was spit it out- swallowing it did not seem the right thing- i could hardly chew it...so for me it was textures and smells and something like baked beans besides not smelling right for me they looked sloppy and gloppy and i was Not moved to put them in my mouth. My mom and auntie who i spent a lot of time with (and cousin) made the rule that we had to take three bites of everything and if we did not like it then we did not have to finish it. i was able to do that for them but i have to tell you, i don't think there was a thing i tried for them that i ended up finishing but they were happier- they were really great though and really didn't put much on my plate that they knew i would not like- sometimes something like greenbean casserole - new things i hadn't tried Sometimes- but really they were really respectful and not toooo bothered by it. but i grew up with just me and mom til i was six so i would have my dinner with mom and it would be one of a few mainstays- hotdogs, balony and mayo, pbj, eggs and ketchup, macaroni and cheese and that is about it! always Lots of milk i drank. as i got older my repertoire increased Slowly- and my mainstay stayed about the same.. i have to give my mom a lot of nods because now i am a mom and i am the one who makes things that don't get eaten! and if i had not been that way, i would probably get Very upset- it is dissappointing to make something for the kids and they poopoo it! But the digestion is linked to our emotions so as long as a good feeling is kept- all will be well- i would not eat if my mood was not glad- i lost my appetite. That is natural to not eat when upset- one does not digest things right. Children tend to have an innate wisdom -it's not a knowledge but a knowing and that is good to keep if a child can- i am so blessed my mom was so great. i remember going to the doctor who said it was okay- on the way there, my mom was a bit upset about my being a picky-eater i felt pretty bad that she was upset and tried to make a promise i hoped i could keep- that when i was 6 i would eat more things!!! Luckily she did not hold me to it- but i felt so bad about myself upsetting her. After doc said i was okay and don't worry about it, she never complained again- that was the only time- i am so glad - and as i got older i was alwys careful that when i was at a friend's house to say no thnkyou to the meat or to have a small piece and eat atleast three bites and never wince or complain!!! i grew up healthy and thin and mentally astute and discerning about what and when i put food into my body- it is so good to be able to listen to your body- to know what that means. Your son is not trying to test you or be difficult he is just trying to heed his own discernment but he's not gonna probably be able to come up with those words ...by the way...my kids won't wear coats!!! it is snowing out and they won't zip up and have on sweat jackets and i always bundled up without question- so i tried to apply my eating experiences to them in this situation and tried to see that they are not trying to be contrary but they really are not affected by the cold like me and that is Great- it's not like they are always getting sick - and they don't wear hats !!!most of the time but it works for them--so i tried to see that i don't need to make them believe the cold will make them sick if it doesn't!!! i think being a mom tests every notion and every part- and where we won't bend we break! it's not easy to grow sometimes when we believe it is the child who should bend it is hard to see WHen it is us as a parent who should bend ourselves. My girl won't eat things i make and then later is hungry- !! so, if noone is up for fixing her something and past the time she should have"" eaten, she gets something light for herself-she is 7. so she can get what suits her at the moment- i believe half the struggles are not with the children but with myself to bend. it is more than easy to start using all the phrases i heard growing up to justify my not bending...the mind tries to justify going against the heart but then it becomes difficult to hear the heart, when i am always dismissing what the heart is saying with all the mind's words--the mind finds no answers because it can argue either side so you kinda need the heart to discern- so i try to listen to it by telling the mind to shut up and taking a bit of time to myself- i try not to make anything i say set in stone so i can readjust my stand on something after sitting with it a while- sometimes the mind is so active i don't know what i really feel so the answers do not come right away and i need to allow myself to 'change my mind'- there is a quote about it being a woman's perrogative to change her mind.

My son has also started this. I only cook one thing and if he doesn't like it he doesn't eat. He went a day and a half without eating and the second night at dinner he was eating.

M.,
We went through that too. We just let him eat the amount that he wanted to at the table and then told him that he wasn't getting anything else until the next day. No drinks either. He'll figure it out. And it might be that he's just not hungry.
But you can guarantee that if he doesn't eat much supper, he'll definitly want breakfast the next day. I did check with a doctor on this and she said that he'll eat when he's hungry.

Hope this helps!
D.

I'm very much you eat what is in front of you, if you try everything and you REALLY don't like it I can make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. If you don't eat, and I'm done eating, and done waiting for you to eat, I'm getting up. If your done just know your done for the night. No bed time snacks no dessert. It has worked. My son knows to not even ask for something to eat if he doesn't eat all his dinner. We do have weeks at a time that he doesn't eat much at dinner at all. I don't force him to eat it all, just let him know that that's it for the night. I have been known to save the plate and give him cold food later when he ask for it also. I started this around 3 years old. At that point, I felt my son could learn to understand that it goes one way or another. Like I said, we still have weeks where he's not hungary...I have weeks where I don't eat all my food. We have other weeks where he eats seconds every single night of the same food he wouldn't eat two weeks before. He could just be between growth spurts and not really hungery right now.

We have this issue with our daughter. however, our doctor has encouraged us (since our daughter is fine weight wise) to not make a huge issue out of food, b/c then it will always become a battle. my daughter has the choice of eating what we eat, or she can have cereal or toast. our ped also says if she hasnt eaten anything in 15 minutes, she isnt going to b/c of their attention span, etc and to let her get down from the table. i have noticed my daughter does not seem to like meal times as social times, she does much better when she eats on her own. but pretty much maybe only one day a week will she eat what i make for dinner. i dont mind putting cereal in a bowl or putting toast in the toaster, but i dont make her a whole seperate meal. she will not go hungry. she doesnt get any snacks if she hasnt eaten her "breakfast" but we dont use that as a reward anymore. my DH had a huge problem with my daughter not eating and it finally took our doctor telling us if we didnt back off our daughter we would fight this fight the rest of our lives. we dont push, we dont beg/plead and we dont reward any longer. she either eats or she doesnt. the other night my daughter ate corn and green beans from the stew i made. when i got home and my husband told me i made a big deal (without a reward) of how proud i was of her.
good luck, i know your frustration!

M.,
I have two year old twins, and most meal times are quick and we are lucky if one of them eats half of their food. I've read up on this, and have read over and over again that a toddler will only eat what they want, and not to force the food on them. Also, I've read that their eating time will only last about 15 minutes and after that, they will not be interested in eating. The most recent Parenting magazine had a good article on this, and you may be able to find it on their website. It has made us feel better when they don't eat, and we wonder if they are getting enough.