Surgery Gone Bad

Give it time, because as his body grows the scar will change. It's barely healed.

And don't obsess about it. He is picking up from you that it is ugly - he might not like it, but you sound like it REALLY bothers you and that's going to make him more selfconscious about it.

I'd wait a few years....not mandatory to do it now...it sounds like you are driving this and not him...if he wants it fixed fine...if it is you...hold off for now.

Hi E., I don't exactly disagree with you for wanting to fix it, but I can think of your situation from a different angle maybe.

My middle son was a 26 week, 1lb 11oz preemie. He was stuck by IV needles (then designed for babies 2 lbs and up) every imaginable place in his body for 3 and a half months. Every single teeny prick left a scar. Worse still, all lines, and his NG tube had to be TAPED since he clawed at everything (can you imagine?). Every single little piece of steri strip pulled off a layer of his skin which was not fully developed yet.

He was completely bald on his head, with good veins, so many of his lines were in his hair. When his hair started coming in, he had little bald spots from all the different scars.

The largest and most noticable scars were on his face, around his mouth and nose from the removal of steri strips, it was unavoidable. It DID bother me when he was little, but they grew less and less noticable over time and by 12 or so, you had to look very close to see ANY of the scars. Even his hair grew in just fine, only his barber notices the little bald spots.

He has actually ENJOYED sharing his story of all his scars over the years, he has an amazing story of survival, he likes his own uniqueness.

Now, he is 17, and OMG he is SO hairy! So NOW on his face, the scars ARE noticable again because he has facial hair (strangest thing!) and little spots where the hair doesn't grow. When he shaves, you can't notice them. All on his legs and forearms where there is now hair, if you look, you can see all the little spots, old scars. Again, he LIKES sharing where they came from.

So, perhaps if you start using the OTC scar creams now, in a few years because he is still so young, it may be barely noticable? If not, it is STILL a part of him, something he can be proud of, a reminder of what he has fought to overcome.

Otherwise, I would HIGHLY recommend you see an excellent plastic surgeon.

:)

Talk to your pediatrician about it. Schedule an appointment with a plastic surgeon and get a second opinion. However, your son is only 6, and doing this mostly cosmetic procedure would involve anesthesia, which doesn't come without risk, plus it's still a painful recovery, with gain the possibility of more infections. I would say wait and see for a while, if it seems to be healing better with no new infections, then you can still decide to get it fixed later; or there are things other that removing scars that plastic surgeons can do to improve the look of them, look at different options before surgery. And since it seems he is selfconscious about it, first, don't make a fuss about it anymore, kids pick up a lot from their parents' reactions, and make sure he is always wearing a shirt. It's in a very coverable place, and at his age it's better to be wearing protection against the sun in the summer anyway.

IAdded: oops I got carried away, I didn't answet the actual question=) I'd do the plastic surgeon I wish I wouldve for my daughters scar

I would wait since the scar may look very tiny after a growth spurt. My daughter was bit on the face and had to have stitches on her lip and above it. Yes a lot tinier than what you describe but it was on the face and noticable. It bothered M. for her but I never once pointed it out to her and its 2 years later and you can barely notice it and I don't even think she realizes it. Its J. part of her face for her. She also has a scar on her chin area and shes never once pointed it out and neither has anyone around her. I'm not trying to minimize what you're going through but I'd wait it out and if its something that bothers him when he starts getting vry self aware and liking girls then I;d tell him he could get the procedure. If it was more visible Id probably get it now but it can be covered so I'd opt out until hes bigger and able to make the choice on his own.

he's growing...unless the skin is pulling and thinning - let it try and heal on its own. This is not a facial scar - it's a torso scar. it can be covered by a shirt.

While it sounds like I am minimizing your concern, please know I'm not. I too would be upset. However, your son is six and he still has a ton of growing to do. Talk with different doctors to find out WHAT the options are - not just that you want it fixed....but about how the scar will change over time with his growing and if it will end up causing other problems. Listen to what the doctors say...but don't just talk to ONE - talk to several...this isn't just about a scar - it's about MORE infections and growth.

GOOD LUCK!

I would definitely find a plastic surgeon. I would not go back to the same doctor. I had surgery and my surgeon seemed to be totally careless about my scar. I look like Frankenstein in one part of my body! I've heard from others that some surgeons are just better at closing up than others. A plastic surgeon would obviously have the best practice on this! Good luck.

I would give it time. He might not be bothered by it in a year or two. If you do decide to have surgery I think you should opt for the plastic surgeon. Incidentally, I have a vertical scar on my shin (like your son's 3 inches long, 2 inches wide) and no one ever made fun of me because of it. It was very noticeable when I was a child (and forget about hiding it under clothes in the spring and summer or if I wanted to wear a dress or skirt) and now, at the ripe old age of 29, it has faded immensely and I forget I even have it. Some people would ask how I got it but most people were just like, oh, a scar...big deal. My parents and doctor discussed cosmetic surgery for it but I wasn't embarrassed or bothered by it so we didn't go that route but if I had been my parents would have gone with a plastic surgeon without hesitation. You will do what is best for your son. Best wishes.

Some people do not scar properly. I don't and neither does my daughter. My scars are thick and bulky looking. I think you are projecting your feelings onto your son. If mom is upset about it I should be too. I don't see the need to put him through that right now. Maybe later on if it still bugs you and him see a plastic surgeon.

I think that if it's just cosmetic, talk to him. HE may not want to bother with it. He may want the option when he's older. He may not care. I know people who care and some who don't. He can simply tell people, "I was sick when I was really little and this is a scar from the procedures." He doesn't need to really get into more than that if he doesn't want to. He may also grow such that it's not the large scar it is now.

Friend of mine in college had a lot of scars. He had serious intestinal issues and ultimately had a multiple organ transplant. He says they are part of him and his health journey. Knowing his story made me respect him more.

I suspect a plastic surgeon would do the revision better. You can always get a consultation. Whatever you do, try to focus on the fact that he doesn't need it anymore and the infections are gone (right)? That's to be celebrated.

My DD has a large cafe au lait birthmark. From day 1 I've been treating it as either no big deal or as something special. I'm not getting it removed and I don't want her to fixate on it as something bad. It is what it is.

E., if the people are giving you static because of HEALTH concerns regarding a scar revision, that's one thing. AND if they are medical people. If people are giving you static who are family members or friends, you need to ignore them. You are absolutely right that the teen years are brutal and if a scar can be fixed and lessened, then you should do it.

However, a general surgeon is not about lessening scars. A plastic surgeon is. You could certainly have the two discuss the surgical site. But the plastic surgeon should do the actual revision. Make sure the plastic surgeon has extensive experience with facial and neck surgery.

Dawn

Something to consider.....scars change a lot over time and with growth.

You don't mention your race, or skin tone. Darker skin can often scar worse than lighter skin. But even darker skin, considering you son's age, will typically lighten over time.

I really think you should follow your surgeon's advice and give your little guy's body some time to heal itself. In the meanwhile, apply Vitamin E oil to the site twice a day...be religious about this application. And have him take Vitamin orally too. So, take a regular Vitamin E capsule, prick it open, apply a few drops then swallow the rest.

On a personal note, my youngest daughter received 3rd degree burns on the palms of both of her hands when she was 1. I cannot describe the pain and suffering and scarring she endured. Beyond horrible. As her hands have grown, her scars have softened and faded. She is now 9. I am told that by the time she is a teen it will be almost impossible to notice. So I pray that is so for her.

While you wait out the year to see how your son's scar improves, you can always get a 2nd opinion from a plastic surgeon. And remember, guys rather like showing off their scars in locker rooms. It adds a certain level of toughness to their presence among males.

I think if I were you, I would wait the year to see what happens with the scar, and then meet with at least one plastic surgeon to get his take. After meeting with the plastic surgeon, I would meet with his doc again and make a decision at that time. It may improve so much over the next year, that a wait and see stance may be best. Only time will tell.

Just please remind your son that beauty comes from within and if he acts like a beautiful person, people will see a beautiful person and the scar won't matter.

I think I'd consult a plastic surgeon-- wounds and scars is what they do! But unless the plastic surgeon made a good arguement for more immediate actions I WOULD be inclined to wait a year-- scars heal and change a lot in the first year-- especially on young growing bodies, AND I'd want him to be TOTALLY healed from the surgery and infections before we started something else.
Try rubbing vitamin E oil on it too....

There are some products available (like Biodermis/Epi-Derm Scar Reduction & Healing Silicone Squares or Circles) that can help scars fade/become less noticeable.
You can find them in any pharmacy near the band-aids.
He is going to grow, and it's healed and I wouldn't want to irritate the area anymore for cosmetic purposes.
There's plenty of guys who swim with rash guard shirts and tee shirts (all the better to prevent sun burn).
If you don't get overly worried about it about it, he won't become self conscious about it.

My daughter was bitten by a dog in August 2010. After the stitches came out, she had the ugliest bumpiest scar on her foot. She was 2 1/2 at the time. I know having a scar on your foot and your belly are two different things but my point is, she is now 4 and her scar has healed nicely. You can still notice the scar but it's not as "ugly" or raised as it was before. Give it time and it may heal very nicely.

Good luck!

I would not take him back to the same doctor. I dont know if I would go to a plastic surgen or just a different doctor. Your gut is telling you that you think you could have someone better do the job. Go with your gut. I personally would wait till my son was a teen before I fixed it. He would be older and you could tell if it was effecting his self esteem. I would also encourage to be confident with himself now matter what is going on with him. Build him up, make him be proud of who he is. My brother had a biopsy on his back and the scar is a round pointed bump on his back. He tells people its a bullet that never was removed. His friends are adults and believe him! Its really funny. I have a scar on my back right above my butt crack from having surgery. Everyonce inawhile someone will see it . I had someone think I was stabbed! I simply respond nope it was a cyst that had to be removed. I was not frail I am not frail. My scar does not define me or make me feel differently. I would also contact a plastic surgen and ask him how long he can delay the surgery to fix the situation.

I am usually against plastic surgery unless the person was horribly scared like in a car accident or fire?? But I would agree this scar fit in the non vain catagorie. Its not like he dosent like his nose or wants to get fake boobies. This is a unnessissary surgery as he is strong and safe. Our son busted his lip and it sticks down slightly if he wants to have surgery when he is older to fix it i will support it. But for now he dosent even mention it.

I would get a second opinion. Another doctor/surgeon may have different options/ideas. Also, I think there is a group on babycenter that deals with G-tubes. Our son had a NG tube for 9 months and I got advice there.

I had a handsome friend in college. He was the nicest, funniest, most confident person I knew. One day we were walking to the campus bookstore and I noticed he had a slight limp. Then at the store I noticed he had to force dollar bills into his right hand which seemed to be pretty much immobile. I had NEVER noticed before because I was struck by the whole of him. Shortly after that someone asked him about his condition. He said, "Okay, you have to guess....." and came up with two wild scenarios and the truth. It was funny how many people thought it was one of the wilder scenarios. He had a brain tumor removed when he was 3 which left one side of his body affected. His was a little more than a scar but I was amazed at how he never used his situation as an excuse for anything but did have a knack for making people feel as comfortable as he did about it. Being the jokester he sure didn't pass up an opportunity to use it that way ;-)

I guess seeing someone with a "scar" and their storries makes them more human. You can connect as people. I can imagine guys especially thinking it's pretty cool.

It's just another take on the situation. If you do decide to have the scar operated on I'd do as suggested by others and find a platic surgeon or at the very least another doctor. As you said, you need to wait anyway. It is amazing how much little kids will heal so you may feel differently as the scar heals more. In the meantime be matter of fact about his scar and respect as much as possible his desire not to have anyone see it.

I would consult with a plastic surgeon. Talk to them about how the scar will change as your son gets older. It will become smaller and less noticable as your son grows. Ask about using scar creams. Sometimes those have some effects. I do understand your thoughts and feelings. But I think right now it's a little too soon to do something. But - get your consult and see what the surgeon recommends.

When I was four I had an appendectomy. The appendix was so swollen and I was so small they had to make a large incision down the middle of my stomach rather than a small on off to the side. My mom often brought up getting it fixed, worrying about how I would feel about it as I got older. For whatever reason, I never had it taken care of. I'm now 29 years old, the scar is 5-6 inches long and 1-2 inches wide....and I could care less about it. I wear bikinis to the beach- people aren't staring at me. Most of the time I forget it is even there. When I was in junior high and high school people would as about it (rarely I got "What happened to you?!?!?!") I told them I had surgery when I was younger and that was that. I would wait. If it really bothers him then take care of it, but from personal experience I think moms worry about these things more than the kids do. I'm guessing eventually it will become apart of him and it won't be a big deal.

If it were me, I would consult a plastic surgeon. They are better with this type of thing and can at least give you their professional opinion about the scar and IF they were to be hired give you a plan of what they think they would do and hopefully make you feel better and talk to you more than the general surgeon did. General surgeons dont usually care about the after, they just care about getting in and getting things done that need to be. How it looks afterward is more of a Plastic surgeons field I would think.

I think that its very caring and realistic of you to want this scar to be less noticeable as possible. You are thinking of your son's feeling and self esteem NOW and LATER. How could that be wrong? You are doing what you feel is best for YOUR son. So do it. A consult at the very least isnt going to harm anyone and they can tell you now if you should wait or do it later.

So get a consult now, and figure out the rest step by step. Go online and do some research about Plastic surgeons in your area and see the reviews and choose one.

Good luck to you both!

It would be very easy for a plastic surgeon to repair that, and they could likely do it in the office under a local.
(I had a tummy tuck incision get infected in 1 spot, and the scar is thicker in that space. My surgeon noted it would be very easy to do a scar revision in the area.)

I understand you want him to look and feel as confident as he can. So I say go for it.
The surgeons fees can't be that high for something like that, if it's out of range, see if they take Care Credit, which allows for interest free payments for up to 2 yrs.

If you decide to do it, go with the plastic surgeon -- they learn how to make scars as minimal as possible.
And wait a year, not just to see if it still bothers your child, but also to give him time to grow and see how that affects the scar.
Good luck!

I would say let the surgeon try again. My son had a fat tissue hernia on his belly and the surgeon said it was gone and it was. A couple of weeks later it popped up again. I took him in again and the same surgeon did the 2nd surgery, the surgeon came out and said that for some reason my son reacted the stitches that they used on his muscle so it popped and the fat tissue went into the opening again. Things happen, and no one can foresee what is going to happen. I went to have labs drawn up one week and did fine with the tape (I have issues with certain adhesives) and the next week, same place same tape and I had an all out rash where the tape was.

My granddaughter split her chin open big time when she was 3 and the scar looked horrible when the stitches came out. Her mother was horrified but we put that stuff madefor scars and neosporian on it a couple times a day while it was healing. Now less then 2 years later, the scar is barely noticable. You really have to look to even see it.

So my advice is simply this. Take him to the plastic surgeon and see what he has to say about it. They are going to work more on the cosmetic part of it. They may suggest waiting a year or so to see how it looks when it is healed. In the mean time, whether you get it fixed or not, you shouldn't make a big deal of it because how you deal with it is going to make your son either embarrassed by it or accept it. To have the feeding tube in the first place tells me that your son is a fighter who won a battle against something. That is what you concentrate on, how that is a battle scar and he should be proud of how far he came and what he over come. It should be a constant reminder of his strength rather then an unsightly scar. He will follow your lead on it.