Suspect That Daughter's Acquaintance Is Using Drugs

My daughter is now 25, but when something similar happened when she was a teenager, I was very firm with her that she was to have no contact with this girl until she got her life back together. I advised her to mention to the girl at school that I was suspecting she was using drugs and was prepared to call her mother at any given time and have a discussion about it. I, like you, felt that the mother might know something, but was in major denial. Luckily, my daughter and this girl were not best friends and it was not a huge issue for us, but it turned out I was right and the girl was using drugs and alcohol. She became quite a handful throughout high school for her parents and she lost several more friends.

My advice for you is to "go with your gut". Talk to your child and discuss the good, the bad and the ugly about this situation. Discuss with her how not to be a rescuer in this situation. The boy is making a choice to use and it is not up to her to save him. She can give him information on getting clean, and leave it at that. Have her tell him that you are prepared to call his mother and have a deeper conversation if he ever acts this way again around you or your daughter. He will get the picture. Good luck!

If it were my son, I would want to know. Even if she is not receptive, at least by telling her you did all you could.

If it were my child getting sick, I hope and pray that the other parent would tell me what they had heard. If something happens to him (whether it's this time or the next time), will you really be able to live with yourself?

Just tell the mom that you would want to know this if it was your child and that the rumor is that he had taken some drugs...she can do with it what she wants. You will at least be at peace with yourself for letting her know. AND...I would forbid my daughter from hanging out with him as the other mom suggested.

Hi L.,
I would say something to her. She may be a naieve mom, but I would definitly tell her what you heard. You can never be to safe. I rather be safe than sorry. Apoligize to her in advance before the conversation starts. Let her know that you are just concerned and you understand that teens will be teens and try things. But if he is still sick today, something is wrong. Who knows he may be taking his mom's pills and she is in denial herself.

Thanks

I would talk to her again and clarfy that one of the boys told me that he said he took "some pills" and tell her you don't know him very well, but thought she should know that if indeed it could be true so she could check into it. I would also have talked to him and asked him to tell me what he did and I would have called his mother since he was in my care and not making good decisions. I would have then called his mother to come and deal with him and pick him up as he was either asleep or getting sick. Either way, he probably needed someone to see about him. I would not have left a visibly ill teen without some parental involvement. Whether it was from drugs, alcohol, or a virus he needed to have a parent come and get him period. Much less allowed to drive or be by himself on his bike or whatever. Whether you know anything about his home life is a mute point. because the mother may be in denial or he may have had a virus. But you can be sure, I would be upset that someone didn't call me when it happened and that if they heard anything about drugs I would want to know. But i have pretty radical views about such things. I wouldn't have let him go without a parent to be in the court if I didn't know the family anyways. But again I am radical that way. Would you want to know? Then give this mother the same courtesy.
Good luck,
L.

Pills can cause that kind of reaction. It depends on what they are getting into. Kids that age try to mix all different kinds of pills and alcohol to get a high. His mom might not be expecting that he could be getting it from her own medicine cabinet.

Hmmmm. Sounds to me like he had a hangover from drinking...

I don't know what pills would make someone sleepy and sick at the same time.

15 is too young for that. You somewhat warned the mother and if you were perceptive enough to notice something was "not right" with him, hopefully she is too. I wouldn't get any further involved but hopefully your daughter knows not to hang with his crowd.