Tantrums in 1 Yr Old

Although a little young, this may be the time to start communicating how to use words to express these feelings of frustrations. I would say to my son, "I can't hear you when you are screaming" or something along these lines. The more he heard me saying that and not responding to him, the more he realized that he wouldn't get a response, negative or positive when he reacted like that.

There is a lot of good advice here. My DD is 17 mos and started this a few months ago. The Karp book is definitely a help. It's helpful to have an idea where the baby is coming from. I've used the method a number of times and she will stop, look at me like "huh? you understand!" and that will be the end of it. Other times it's not the end of it if I don't wish to accommodate her (like if she doesn't want to be strapped into the carseat) so then ignoring helps.

Think about it if you were speaking but noone around you could understand you so then they punished you it would be soooo confusing. He's not trying to be naughty. He is just to young to have a more socially acceptable way of expressing himself.

Sign language is also very helpful. It is great for DD to be able to be understood. We've been signing for several months but it has been the last few weeks when she really has gotten into it a lot more. She has a very satisfied look on her face when she is understood. You may want to consider it.

Hi E.,
Looks like you already got a lot of good advice. I'm a mom of 6, soon to be 7, kids, so we've dealt with lots of tantrums. I definitely agree with the strategy of not giving the attention to the tantrum. At this age, they don't understand time-out, and you really can't reason with them. Plus, you don't want them to associate the crib with negative emotions, because then you'll end up with sleep issues. As long as your child is safe, just let him have the tantrum. You can stay nearby, but don't let him know you are paying any attention. They de-escalate faster this way. However, I also have heard wonders about teaching them some simple signs at this age, because the tantrums are usually just a frustration at not being able to communicate. If you are afraid he will hurt himself, you can hold him on your lap, not facing you, and if necessary hold his arms down firmly but gently, telling him that you are going to hold him until he stops. I've had to do this a couple of times, and it seems to help, especially if it's already escalated out of control. Isn't motherhood a grand adventure?! Good luck to you, and remember, this too shall pass.

ignore the tantrums.. as soon as one would start, I would turn away and say let me know when you are finished.. and my daughter's tantrums didn't last very long and that phase ended quick.. they throw tantrums because of a communication issue - they can't get their point across to you so they get upset.. but if they throw a fit and you run over to them, they are getting attention (negative attention) and it will escalate from there. as long as they aren't hurting themselves, they are fine.. You can always try signing with him to teach him key things he wants to tell you to lessen frustrations too..

Hi E.,
My feeling is this, I wouldn't stick him in the crib only because this is were he sleeps, and if you do this, he won't want to go to bed in his crib anymore, because he will associate that with being bad. My daughter is five now, but when she was that age I use the naughty corner or stool, or step, I place her in a time out, on the step or chair, for a couple of minutes, until she calmed down, it worked like a charm. She soon caught on that if she had a tantrum, that thats' were she would end up, and the tantums stopped. I hope this information helps, you need to do what's best for you and your family, and maybe you and your husband can come up with something together.

One of my friends let me borrow the book "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" by Harvey Karp. I really liked his first book "The Happiest Baby on the Block", I felt it was very practical. I read some of "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" and some of the ideas sounded good, some sounded weird to me, but worth a try..for example, the author (Karp) talks about the parent getting down on their child's level physically, verbally saying what they want, I use this when my son is in his car seat and is mad b/c he doesn't want to be strapped in, Karp says to say "out, out, out, I want out", to do this till you get the child's attention, that they know you are understanding what is bothering them, then to redirect once you have their attention...I have found this works sometimes.

I have been trying to do sign language and he hasn't picked it up yet (he is 12 months old). I am looking into getting some "Signing Time" DVDs or trying to find the show on tv. I am really hoping to cut down on some of his frustration with the signing.

I hope you find what works for your family.

Hello Tantrums in 1 yr old:
My daughter also started throwing tantrums when she was a year old. I tried just letting her have them, then that broke my heart. I would pick her up, sometimes it would work, other times not. I think depending on the situation, or where you are depends on what you should. My husband also said to put her in her crib, but I felt like I was abandoning her. Its hard to decide what to do, like they say, "babies do not come with manuals". I founds sometimes when she was having a tantrum that if I picked her up and brought her in to another room and quietly sang to her or read her a book it changed her mood very quickly and eventually the behavior. Try taking her out of the environment that was causing the issue, she will hopefully forget about it and at the same time you can bound with him by singing and reading. Hope it helps, let me know how it works for you. I found it to be the best advise that someone gave me. Time outs for one year olds are a little harsh ( I think) that should start around 2, when they have a better understanding of right and wrong, yes & no and why they are being put in a time out. To me, a one year old has no understanding of why he is being put in a time out -crib. But with that, they could very well cry them selves to sleep and get a well deserved nap...and that is good for!

This sounds just like our soon to be 15 month old. Her tantrums are out of control! She is like a light switch, one minute she is fine, the next she is throwing herself (ever so gently) on the floor and having a fit. What we have started doing is ignoring her behavior...it's kind of funny because we'll look at her and she'll stop and then start up again and we walk away (making sure she is safe) and just let her do her thing. It's amazing how much the lack of attention to the behavior makes her stop and move onto the next thing. I do not like the "crib" time-out, I do agree that an age appropriate time out is OK, but I do not like the crib as the place to have it, you don't want your little on equating his bed time space as a time out space. If you have a pack N play I would suggest removing all of the toys and letting your little one work it out in there. Good luck, believe me,I can sympathize with you.

I had that problem with both of my girls at one point or another.Just ignore him wwhen he's yelling or throwing himself around (as long as he's safe from getting hurt). They're just trying to get your attention. Once he realizes that he gets no reaction it'll stop. Hang in there and good luck!

Personally, I wouldn't put him in the crib for a time out. You don't want to create a problem with him associating his crib as time out and not want to sleep in it. Since he is just one I would suggest to sit him on the floor against the wall for time out. My pediatrician told me it should be one minute for each year old. So since your son is 1 yr that would be 1 minute. Explain to your son why he is in time out and that you understand his frustration but his behavior is not ok. If he gets out of time out gently put him back and tell him again why he is there. Every time he gets out put him back. Once his minute is up, tell him he can come out of time out and tell him why he was there and that his behavior is not ok. Tell him if he does it again he will go in time out again. And of course, tell him you love him and give him a hug. Eventually he will catch on. It does take great patience. Good luck. Let me know how it goes.

J. R.

There is a difference between a tantrum and frustration from not being able to communicate. At 12 months old it is communication and not something to be diciplined by a timeout. I would pay attention to clues of his being overtired, hungry, over/under stimulated and go from there.

The "experts" say you should not put a child under one in time out. I think you and your husband need to come to a compromise you are both comfortable with. If you are not on the same page the child will feel that and play you both (they are smart!!) Sitting in his crib is not going to hurt him, although with my boys I found redirecting was an extremely helpful tool. He might be acting out because he is bored and needs a change of scenery.

Good luck!

H. (mom of 4yr, 3yr, 9mth old boys)

Ignoring is the best. If he is throwing a tantrum, just walk away, step over him whatever, just don't react. Good luck.

dont know how much i can help my son is the same way and always wants things that are not for him lamp cords remote outlets. Redirecting him eventually works for the moment until something else catches his eye that he wants. I never knew babies that young could have fits like that. I thnk i read somewhere that at this age the dont understand time outs they are just caught up in that they want to do what you wont let them do and thats that. So for now @ 15mo i redirect all day, i aslo will hide his toys around so he can spot them and sometimes that helps good luck i deffinatly know what you are going through

One is too young to give time outs - they can't begin to understand the meaning of it. He just needs to learn that you don't always get your way. I would give him options (ie you can have apple or banana, but not chocolate). If he wants to have a fit, let him have it, but ignore it - you gave him a choice and he made his choice (in this case, to have nothing). Developmentally it is not appropriate to give a child this young a time out. If he is doing something harmful (ie hitting you) I would say, "That hurts! We give nice touches" and show him a nice touch. If he persists, you could say, "You're not being safe, you need to calm down" and give him time in crib to calm down. Other than that, just give him time and consistency. He'll catch on!

Get a baby sign language dvd and teach him some basic signs so that he can communicate with you. He is "communication" frustrated.

Ignore his tantrums! He's frustrated because he can't communicate to you, but he is also doing it for attention. He gets a rise out of you every time he throws a tantrum. So from now on when he starts to tantrum don't acknowledge it! At all. Just act like nothing is happening and go on with whatever you were doing. DO NOT GIVE IN. Otherwise you are going to encourage his tantrums. "if i scream long enough she will eventually give it to me"
I think he's too young to be put in time out. He woulnd't really understand why he's been put in time out or that it is a time out. Not only that but he's going to start resenting his crib if you use it as a "naughty" place!
I also suggest trying to do some sign language with him. So if he's hungry, tired, thirsty, ect....he can tell you in some form of way and it will be less frustrating for him if he can do SOME form of communication!
Good luck to you! Hope the tantrums let up a little, but you can't expect them to be non-existant!

Love him, hold him, communicate clearly with him, stay with him and empathize with him, as he works it out! Experts say time outs for this age (and perhaps even older) only deprive him of your necessary presence that allows him to learn gradually to soothe himself, so that he will end up with less capacities in that area, not more, if you abandon him.

My daughter started having tantrums around one as well. She used to throw herself to the floor and lie flat like an airplane. I would try to comfort her when this occurred because she didn't understand. After a while, when she took the plane position :) I would not pay attention as she was doing this to get her way. You are right though, redirection and options are the way I would handle it at this point. My daughter who's 2 1/2 still has tantrums and takes the plane position from time to time. Good luck

Hi E. -

I have a 13 month old and she also has tantrums. I just redirect her or ask her question like "where is your binky can you find it and bring it to me?" Usually, she forgets what she is having a tantrum about. I am not sure - but I don't think that your son would understand time out.