Teenagers and Weapons / Swords - Interest in Weapons- Healthy or Harmfull?

Kids are interested in swords because they're exotic. When my daughter was 14, she bought an athame for herself. It's not intended for use as a weapon, but it IS still a dagger.

As long as he keeps them out of reach of the littluns, I don't see it as a problem.

Here is the thing with weapons, it is not the weapon but why they want them that is important.

I know that completely banning them out of fear is just as destructive as having them in the hands of an unbalanced child. My ex collects guns just because his mom would never let him have them. He would walk around wearing a John Wayne looking holster pointing them at me and the kids to scare us. For him it was about the power he perceived he had when he had one, he felt powerless as a child, ya know? Completely messed up.

Now Troy has just as many guns as my ex. He wouldn't even bring them in the house until we had a gun safe.

Ya know the easy way to tell if it is unhealthy, does the person respect what the weapon could do and also respect life. If you got some no s going on there it is unhealthy.

My 9yo has several wooden practice swords. In fact, we just got back from a ren-faire where he was taking lessons from both a swordmaster and his journeyman.

He's also in Aikido, although he's not ranked high enough yet, he'll be learning swordwork in the next year.

In my experience (ex-military) the people who are the most dangerous, are those with no training. Those who have no respect for weapons. Those who don't know how to use them; whether they're projectile or edged or explosive.

The people who blow themselves up with fireworks goofing off, who shoot themselves and their friends in livingrooms goofing off, who go out hunting drunk... these people have no respect for what these weapons can do. It's like an unlicenced driver deciding to go joy riding. People get hurt. They're PLAYING. Which is not what one does with weapons. Learning and practicing can be very very fun... but you don't play. You don't goof around.

But you put a kid (or adult) in lessons; where they learn how to use and respect those 2000lb, 150mph battering rams... blades, pistols, rifles, explosives... and all of a sudden the goofing off stops. There are still accidents. The best driver in the world can crash. The most accomplished marksman can forget to clear their chamber, there can be faulty material in the firework... but they become accidents. True accidents. Not careless negligence stemming from a total lack of understanding as to what is safe.

People like power. Whether it's the power to sew a broken body back together, or light up a mind, or provide for their family, or win a competition, or write that perfect paragraph or score. Weapons are one kind of power. Money is another. Education is a third. There are DOZENS of kinds of power that people relate to and seek out. They make us feel alive. And secure. And darnit! We're going to be the best we can be with them. Whether it's professional (teacher, doctor, preformer, soldier), or for the pure joy of it (moms, personal passions/pursuits).

If your stepson in naturally attracted to the kind of power that weapons bring, get him in classes. Not to do so is dangerous. Because that attraction won't end just because it's not an attraction you share.

A kid who likes guns, trained in their use, may become a soldier. Or a hunter. Or a historical reenacter. Or a competition shooter. Or go into local or federal law enforcement. Or simply view shooting as a hobby.

Or they could be the dumb kid who sneaks his friend's stuff and shoots themselves because they've never learned to handle a weapon with respect. Or the dumb kid who (responsibly) takes the weapon somewhere safe / secret, and breaks their own nose because they fire a pistol like you see in the movies (kickback on a sideways held weapon either breaks your nose or your mouth).

Swords and knives, in many ways, are more dangerous than pistols and rifles because those only shoot in one direction. Big ole knives flung around, on the other hand, cut in every direction. There are numerous ways to learn to use/respect them (fencing, sword fighting, certain martial arts).

A person doesn't just never use power tools because they're dangerous. A person learns to use them safely. A person doesn't just not learn to drive a car because it's dangerous. A person takes lessons.

Can't highlight it strongly enough: Lessons. Pronto. Like last week.

I'm not understanding the connection to Disneyland and weapons. The only "weapons" they sell at Disneyland are cheap plastic toys that fall apart really easy. There is no where at all to buy even blunt display metal weapons of any kind. If he's coming home with even display real looking weapons they aren't coming from Disneyland.
We have an insane amount of swords and daggers etc. We are Medieval reenactors so we have some for that that are functioning for eating or staged sword fighting. We also have a love of swords and have many that are replicas of swords from favorite movies like Lord of the Rings for instance. I've had "weapons" of this sort since I was a teen when I first started doing renaissance faires.
My kids have learned a respect for swords and are being taught how to properly wield one using practice swords made of foam padding around PVC pipe. My boys are 10 & 7 now. All 3 of my kids have been around "weapons" since I was pregnant with them.
We don't leave our swords where they can get to them, even the ones that are completely blunt.
The weapons themselves I don't see as a problem and I don't see the age as a problem either. What is more important to look at is the attitude toward handling them. Does he respect them as weapons or is he swinging them around being aggressive to everyone and anything and using them in a controlling and menacing way to those around him. If he's showing the proper respect for them then I don't see a problem with them. If he's not then lay down the ground rules, teach the respect or he looses them.
As for the gun. Well, I don't care for guns personally. I don't see them as elegant as a sword or bow and arrow but that's a personal preference. I would require a safety class and shooting lessons, something I think should be required before getting a gun license but that's another topic.

Keep them out of your house if they bug you. I think it's normal, but then again I'm a girl who grew up with all of those things in my house.
My dad is a martial arts master. He's very well trained in a lot of different styles. He taught his kids.
He put me in karate when I was 4. All my siblings went. He had throwing stars, throwing knives, a LOT of swords, knives, daggers, and even some very very dangerous guns.
The thing is, HE taught us responsibility for those items. To know that they are NOT toys, and you need to respect them.
We were never to touch the guns, and we never did. All five kids in my family had respect for those weapons. Not one of us ever got hurt by them.
I would say martial arts, if he is interested. Gun lessons, etc. He needs to be taught to be responsible with them. Otherwise bad things probably will happen.

I was taught how to use the weapons and take care of em. When I was 12 my dad took me to a gun range to learn how to shoot. So at 12 I shot my first real gun..which happened to be a Desert Eagle 50..that gun almost dislocated my shoulder haha

Both my boys are into any kind of weapon they can think of. Anything that punctures, blows something up, chops heads off, aaaaah boys. It is so normal.

One is in the Navy, he gets to play with real weapons. THe other is in Fencing, he is taught how to use his sticks. We call him stick-boy, as his weapons of choice have mostly been sticks/swords/daggers.

Fencing has taught him control over the Epee and Saber and this year, he is 10, he will do competitions. I don't like "weapons" either but this gives him a place where he learns how to manuever them safely.

Both the boys were/are in Cub Scouts where they learned how to handle bb guns. We have two at home, one for my hubby and the other for the boys. My hubby is a Marine and is super anal about gun safety, we have no guns per se, just the bb guns. He has taken my older one to the shooting ranges also.

THE boys know that safety comes first because they were/are taught how to handle the "weapons" instead of me freaking out on them.
INcidently my MIL was a no guns ever in my house person. Both her boys joined the military and are perfect shots.

If you deny them and make a huge fuss, then it becomes the forbidden candy and he will want them even more.

My son has a blunted katana. It's a requirement for his taekwondo weapons testing. He also has a kendo stick (bamboo sword), a staff and nunchucks.
He has forms he has to learn in order to pass his black belt tests.
Staff is his favorite, but he looks equally impressive with both staff and nunchucks. He needs to build up his upper body strength a bit in order to do more with his katana but that will come (he's 12).
Fencing in general is excellent exercise, and they say you should never give a sword to a man who can't dance - and it's true - you need much of the same coordination and balance in order to fence or dance well.
As far as guns go, a 14 yr old can not own one, but he can learn to shoot if he takes instruction at a range or his father wants to teach him.
My husband's an NRA certified instructor, teaches basic pistol safety, and taught our son to shoot targets at the range when he was 6. He's a pretty good shot, but over the years it's lost its mystery and he's not that interested in guns anymore.
Any weapon is a tool, and like any tool there is a proper way to use it, a proper way to be safe with it and there is care and maintenance of the weapon.
If he's that interested perhaps he should be taking instruction.
You never know, he might have a military career in his future and the knowledge might serve him well.

I'd say it's normal but requires safety rules and strict guidance around handling them and showing them to others.

I think boys usually get slighted on this topic. If girls are naturally attracted to dance, clothes, whatever it's considered fine. Boys like weapons and fighting and everyone wonders if they are sick. Not sick just naturally made to be the more physical and aggressive gender...and as a female, I thank God for that. They are our natural protectors.

I think it is normal. Has anybody thought about Martial Arts for him? Many traditional arts have weapons training. My husband practices and art called Kuk Sool Won and what is awesome about it is they teach respect for the weapon. So while they learn how to use them, they always realize they can be deadly and there is no light-hearted attitude toward weaponry, you have to be skilled to handle a weapon, plain and simple. As far as guns go, same thing, before he should even have a gun ever considered for him, how about gun safety classes as well as training on how to use a gun. I told my husband before I ever wanted a gun in our house I wanted all members, myself included, trained on how to use it safely. The last thing I want is a gun, I don't know how to use that an attacker could take from me. My boys love swords etc, I think it is a boy thing, but I do think that a healthy respect for weapons is needed as well.

boy, if you lived in the midwest, this question would NOT be asked! ...especially if you lived in rural areas & small towns!

Okay, here's what we did with our sons: both boys were in Scouts. Both boys owned pocket knives by age 7. Our older son has quite a collection of knives. He was probably about 12 when he began collecting. He also has a selection of decorative & functional swords.

Gunwise: both boys had BBguns by age 7 or so. Both boys were shooting a rifle at an early age. Both boys went thru MO Dept of Conservation's Hunter Safety program at age 12. (in fact this course is offered thru our school district!) Both boys did the merit badges for rifles & shotguns thru Scouts. Both boys hunt with their Dad, do their own field prep, & help with the cooking.

Misc weapons: our older son was in Medieval Club during H.S. Our younger son is now a freshman & just joined the club. Learning how to use archaic weapons & building your own chain mail, bopper sword, etc is all a part of the activities. Highlights for the year includes a trip to the Renaissance Faire in Kansas City! The club is a blast....

If the boy has his own room, provide a locked storage unit for his weapons. That is an all-important part of weapon ownership. Get him involved in a safety class, get him involved in an activity which will teach him respect with these weapons. His interests are NOT unhealthy....simply different from yours. He'd fit right in with most kids I know.....& we're talking Eagle Scout material in my part of the USA!

It's perfectly normal. But I agree about keeping them away from younger children. I also think he is too young to have a gun.
My boys have all kinds of knives, and swords. They also have antique hand guns, but no ammo. They are both Eagle scouts so they have been well versed in how to use the knives safely.
My husband has taken them to the gun range many times, so they all know how to handle guns properly. Maybe your husband can do that with his son.

I grew up in a household with many weapons. My dad was ex-law enforcement and an avid hunter, as were his brothers. The guns were kept in the cabinet, unloaded, and not once did any of the kids (4 of us) play with them, EVER. My dad would take us out target shooting from the age of about 8. We were taught all the safety rules, and they were nonnegotiable.

I had a pocket knife as a kid, back when it was common to do so. I also had a teeny, 1-inch pearl handled knife that I wore on a necklace in junior high - I'd be suspended in a second for that now! I never did anything stupid, goofy or threatening with them. If I had, I never would have been allowed to handle it again.

My son has carried a pocket knife (or 2) since he was a Cub Scout. He's almost 17 now, and on track to earn his Eagle Scout award. On his last Scout camp out (a 50 mile hike over 5 days), he took his own machete, and they used it every day for cutting through brush.

He's collected knives, both useful and decorative, for years. He's taken fencing lessons for almost 5 years. He owns several swords not used for fencing - katanas and midieval reproductions. He loves dragons, so he has swords and knives with decorative dragons on the handles or etched in the blade. Yes, some of them are quite sharp, and they're all steel. Some are in his room, and some are not.

He loves studing historic weaponry, and is considering going into the armed forces after graduation.

He does NOT wave them at people, brag about being able to do damage, or anything else that would be rude and unsafe. If he did, he wouldn't own them.

We do not consider his owning and liking these things to be unusual or dangerous in any way. For most of history, it was just expected that people would own weapons, because they were necessary for survival, BUT it was also expected that they would respect them and treat them properly. It's very recently that society has decided that the weapons themselves are the issue, NOT the problem behaviors - violence, control and anger issues that may or may not manifest themselves through the misuse of weapons.

If his only behavior issues are ordinary teenage ones, I wouldn't worry.

Still, it is your right to decide what goes in your house. If you don't want a gun or sword or game system or anything else, it's your absolute right to say no and mean it, without feeling guilty or having to explain yourself.

Check out the Book/Video Raising Cain. It gives good insight into boys and weapons and if you email the author, he'll answer you. I don't think it' s necessarily bad but I don't know your step son.

Thanks!

My son is only 6 and totally into weapons. We have him in martial arts it is the same style as another mom on here was talking about Kuk Sool Won. They have a lot of weapons training, not until brown belt level and then they start with wooden weapons. But they are taught to respect them and that they are not toys and are only to be used for self-defense. And some of the weapons are not typical (a short wooden stick the size of a very large sharpie marker, a piece of rope or belt, a cane), then they have daggers and swords, etc.

I think most boys like weapons...men have been going off to war sense the beginning of time and I think it is just in their DNA. I also think it needs to be channeled in an appropriate manner.

When our son is 10 to 12 we will have him take a gun safety class and learn to shoot a gun. We live in Texas and there are tons of guns...in my family they are in just about every house...so we talk about what to do if you find a gun.

I suggest if you can get his dad to get him into some sort of training that teaches respect of weapons, appropriate uses/safety, and un-glorifies them.

You are in Bev, Hills California.
He visits you every weekend and most holidays.
You don't live in a State, in which it is common to have weapons in every home and the children having it too.

I assume, he does not have all these weapons at YOUR home, but at Mom's?

You said, he "every long summer goes to Disney Land w/his Mom and comes home with weapons..."
So, is he getting these weapons from Disney Land?
Or from a real weapons store?
Disney Land weapons, are like props. Not the real thing. It is 'like' real.

Guns, I would really really not get a kid.
Not at all. Period.
Not a kid.

It is your home.
Your rules.
If you don't want weapons in your home, then that is the rule.

What does his Dad think?
What is this kid like?
Is he 'normal'?
Or not?
Everyone, has a gut feeling about things or about people.... and it is for a reason.
There is no way, for you to discern why this boy collects weapons. Or if it is natural or not.

My daughter, has weapons.
She has a Karate "Sai" and Sword. And will get others.
Why?
She is in martial arts.
She is younger than that step-son you have.

Yikes... There are laws restricting the purchase of these by minors (for good reason!) They are weapons, and consequently dangerous, I think it's disturbing that his mother is facilitating the purchase of them . I would be seriously trying to find out what he's doing with them (are they hanging on a wall in a collection?). Is he playing with them with friends (scary!) or taking them out of the house? How is the rest of his behavior -- well adjusted or isolated loner lost in his own fantasies.? His desire for a gun is additionally alarming. Is he planning on taking shooting lessons? Just how supervised is he. I think his father needs to have a conversation with the mother about how this "hobby" manifests itself and why she is encouraging it (these are not inexpensive items so this is a big commitment on her part to support him in this). If your husband is worried about the ex getting upset or feeling criticized about his questions regarding this -- I would start with suggesting he discuss the sons behavior in general.... and talk with his son about what exactly motivates this interest and how this "hobby" got started and what it entails as far as the kids involvement . For example: does he research these things through a group, if so what is that group, is he connected with any social media "pals" that are involved also ? These are important things to understand to fully comprehend what this all means to him and what is influencing him -- and what the possible negatives are.

I would certainly never allow them in my house, particularly with young children. Teenagers are impulsive, and still developing cognitively, and prone to all sorts of emotional ups and downs. Their judgement is still evolving, and giving them weapons seems just to be asking for problems.

Clearly weapons represent power, and dominance - and as the child of a divorce he may have certain feelings of powerlessness which might account for this obsession. But your husband should not make assumptions that all is OK, he needs to really dig to understand this -- and there should be strict rules in your house.

For your sake, if this boy is visiting (even without his weapons) you need to fully understand what is going on with him and if this weapon obsession is a red flag

My brother had a slight obsession with ancient and foreign swords and weapons for a very long time. He started collecting them when he was a teen and he is now 24. He is a completely healthy and successful young guy with no issues related to the weapons. He just loved them.

If he is throwing them around and isn't responsible enough to have them, don't let him get them. If he wants to collect them and hang them on his wall, I don't see the harm. You know him better than any of us do =)

Does he do any martial arts? Weapons are a part of martial arts after attaining a certain rank. My son is a black belt in Tang Soo Do and has a samurai sword (earned as part of his training accomplishments through the school), a pair of nunchuks (pretty standard), a set of throwing stars (given by his instructor) and a pair of sais (sp?)--they look like short tritons. Maybe you could see about getting him into a martial art school where he can learn respect for these items and how to use them safely.

yikes.......glad he doesn't go to MY children's school......

I would not allow weapons in my home, and I would worry about my younger children around an older one with an obsession about them.

Oh, wait - I lied. We DO have a weapon in the house - my son has a toy "spy case" that he plays spies with, and it has little plastic darts that it can shoot out of it. So, other than THAT, I would not allow weapons in my house.

This would make me nervous too -- just that the younger kids might get to the weapons and hurt themselves. But really I would only worry about the teenager if he is talking violently or not taking care to put the weapons in a safe place.

where in the world in his mother taking him to get these weapons? Not Disneyland. and I am sure the mom is buying them, I doubt a minor is allowed to buy weapons like this. you could call the local police department, and inquire.