Tips on How to Boost My Sons Self-confidence

there are a lot of articles out there about the mistakes we make trying to boost kid's confidence. Don't overpraise! don't praise unless it's sincere, kids will not trust your praise! Praise effort not achievement. If he gets an A on his spelling test but it was soo easy for him he may feel uncomfortable with a lot of praise. If he studied his math really hard or practiced his soccer kicks then his hard work should be appreciated -doesnt matter if he got a great grade or was the star of the team. Kids who are usually told they are smart become concerned and nervous about anything that requires effort (if it doesnt come easily maybe I'm not as smart as I've been told.) IF your son is worried about other people criticizing him or making fun of him then maybe he would feel better if he prepared for such an occasion. Start with scenarios that are far removed "if you were a girl and the other girls said your dress was ugly.... how could you respond?" If your were a teacher and the kids said you weren't nice, what would you say? If you saw a classmate drop all the crayons on the floor and kids laughed at him what should he do? This will take a lot of practice. He needs to know these situations are not the end of the world, Someday maybe someone will laugh at him and he will survive and be stronger for it. Maybe this will help him stop dreading "the worst"

You are doing the right thing. By getting him involved in other activities he meets other kids not just school kids. All you can do is keep telling him he is great and he is doing a great job. If he is really good at one thing maybe foster it so he can feel rewarded that he can do something well. Elementary school is horrible. The kids can be soo mean.

Are you and his father, or other adult examples confident? I know my husband got his confidence issues directly from his mother's massive insecurities. She was always so concerned with what people would think, if they would like her, how she looked, if her clothes were right, etc. If you don't struggle with confidence, that's really awesome for him!! If you do struggle a bit, working on you would help him also!

You could also get him into something he's really good at. If he loves to draw, play sports, act in plays...find what it is and let him really shine in those areas. Martial Arts are wonderful, for confidence and self worth.
I personally feel they are wonderful for kids and teach them things they take through their whole life.

he may be witnessing someone being bullied or ridiculed and it may be his own friends doing it so he may be afraid they turn on him one day. keep an open dialogue so he can always come to you. good luck

You mentioned that you all are active in the church. Teach him some scriptures to say out loud, like "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" or "I am the head and not the tail, above and not beneath, a leader, not a follower." I speak these words over both of my children and have them say it too! It may take some time, but he will eventually believe what God's word says about him!

First of all tell him if someone makes fun of him it won't be the worst thing in the world. Tell him everyone gets made fun of sometimes.

Do you overprotect him? It does seem a little odd that a boy who has lots of friends and is involved in so many activities is so worried about getting made fun of.

I really have to disagree with the first response. While I definitely believe in appropriate praise, I do agree with another response about overpraising, and I wonder if you have maybe done this. A child who is overpraised is afraid of failure, and your son's fear of being ridiculed could be a result of that. So if you are a mother who praises a lot, it might be time to cut back, and praise per the advice of Sandy L.

Meanwhile, role play teasing situations with him, with you being the teaser, and vice-versa, and help him come up with responses, and just have him discover what being made fun of might feel like. I think he'll find out the reality of being teased is far less hurtful than he fears.