Toddlers and Your Period

Updated on June 01, 2011
L.A. asks from Dallas, TX
20 answers

My 22 month old is all about doing everything we do, which has led to the start of accidental potty training. She jumps up during a diaper change and hops on the potty (the big one, no trainer!) and does her thing, including the wiping and washing her hands. We're super impressed, then annoyed because if we suggest it she stops. Ugh, toddlers. Just kidding.

My question, though: We had our second baby 4 months ago and doing the math, you can see that she was too young when Mommy had her cycles last to notice anything. This last month my cycle returned and my little potty trainer was freaked by the blood. I didn't think twice when she ran into the bathroom after me like she always does but when she got nervous I tried to explain that this was normal and meant our new baby was our only new baby but obviously those concepts were a bit beyond her...especially when all she saw was Mommy's owie.

I can try to limit her seeing things (and I did from then on, subtly) but I'd like to know if anyone has any tips on explaining this to a little one. She's not been nearly as interested in the potty, though she'll still sit on her little chair, since my period and I'm really hoping my cycle isn't the cause.

Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Thank you for the responses. I love that we're just one of many families being open with their children about natural body functions. I agree that a menstrual cycle isn't an everyday topic but I love the "Mommy has extra" approach that someone suggested if it ever comes up again. We'll see how next month goes. Thanks again!

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J.A.

answers from San Francisco on

I actually feel it is good that you talk to her about it. My 2 1/2 year old noticed mine about that age. Now she knows it is completely normal and she wants to get me the tampon out of the cabinet! She just knows it is something that comes every month, and when she is older she will have to worry about it, but for now it is only for grown ups. I just feel like talking about those kind of things (within 2 year old reason) is beneficial to them, and opens up lines of communication to other embarrasing topics.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

At two, she does not have the ability to understand what a period is. My suggestion is not to allow her in the bathroom with you. My kids were never allowed to be my audience in the bathroom. If they were toddlers, I gated them into a safe area and used the bathroom with the door closed. My kids were never allowed to barge into the bathroom if Dh or I was using it, or if each other were. Privacy is really okay!
It's also normal for a young kid under two to think the potty is fun and a game, and then lose interest.

6 moms found this helpful

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

Sometimes, we do try to explain beyond what our children can hear and understand.

Personally, I wouldn't bring it up again unless she does. Then, you can just say "Mommy's bodies sometimes have some extra blood it doesn't need, so the blood comes out. It doesn't hurt mommy at all. I'm just fine."

Toddlers are too young to really understand the womb, reproduction, etc. in larger doses. What you want to address, simply is A. why the blood is there and B. that you are okay. This will suffice until she's older.

8 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

First of all, don't bring it up again...... if she bring it up, explain it in a way she can understand.

It is never too early to beging open communication with your children. It makes things easier to discuss.

Do you recall some of the posts here where a mom wants to "have the talk" when the child is 12??? Believe me, that child knows much more than mom thinks by that time and it is from friends vs what she'd probably prefer to communicate herself.

Open communication teaches children to be secure with their bodies, there is a time for certain things and that nudity, puberty and sex are not dirty.

You just have to do it at age appropriate levels.

Good luck!!

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I don't remember how old my daughter was the first time she noticed. I always use tampons and have very light periods. But I've never tried to hide anything from her. I answered her questions with as much information as she could handle based on age, but now that she's nine, she knows all about periods, anatomy, babies, etc. It is so much easier, in my opinion, and more successful, to give the info out in pieces over time, than all at once when they are older.

At two, as others have said, the most she might need to hear is that this is normal and the mommy is OK.

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B.O.

answers from Portland on

My daughter has always been in the bathroom with me, although when she turned about 4 I started asking for more privacy in the bathroom. She was probably about 2 the first time she asked about my menstrual cycle. I just told her it was called a menstruation cycle, and it was how our bodies prepared for having babies one day. I told her the tampons helped me to collect the mess and that one day when she was a big girl like mommy she would have a menstrual cycle too. I don't think it should be that complicated to explain a natural body function, and don't understand the stigma and secrecy associated with it.

I think even if she is potty shy because of what she saw it is not necessarily negative. Perhaps she is just mulling over and processing the information in her own time, and that is okay. Toddlers have a lot more receptive language and reasoning capability than most people realize.

And also, at 22 months, there will be a 100 more reasons why she will become disinterested in using the potty, so I would not fret over this. Potty training is not linear:)

5 moms found this helpful

M.R.

answers from Rochester on

Not to be gross or rude, but how did she see anything? Unless you were wearing a pad and she noticed when you went? I have three boys and they've never "seen" anything, even though I have to keep the door open and half the time have short people crowding around me (this will end soon I hope--I just can't have that barrier not knowing what they're doing to each other when I'm out of sight).

I have no idea how to explain that, but you could tell her that it's something she doesn't have to worry about and it is normal for mommy and don't talk about it again. She might forget about it or bring it up at a totally random and embarrassing time when you think she's forgotten about it.

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T.R.

answers from Orlando on

My 3 year old is / me ALL of the time, so this has come up for us too. The first time, I just let her know that it's a mommy thing that happens sometimes and I'm fine, and that when she is a mommy she will understand better. Since then she hasn't flinched or asked anything more. With certain things like this, I tend not to parallel it to being a "big girl" thing, which I would in other situations, because she thinks she is a big girl, and I don't want her worrying that this may happen to her soon! So, although it's not really just a "mommy thing", she understands that it won't happen to her for a LONG time! Lol... And she'll figure out when she's old enough to comprehend, that it happens to older girls. Good luck!

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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

I have 5 kids and I always remember having them knocking on a locked door when I was in the bathroom. =D Anyway, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Be open and explain that you're fine and this is normal sometimes and then let it go. That's awesome that she's potty training. If she stops, she'll get it down soon enough anyway. Good luck!!

4 moms found this helpful

E.B.

answers from Seattle on

I dont. but I am so glad you have posted this. I have three boys, who never think twice about barging into the bathroom. This past week I have been dealing with my monthly gift. My middle guy came in while i was changing things around and got worried...I tried to explain it to him...It took my six year old explaining it to him. I asked my six year old where he had learned about it, he told me his auntie had told him. I was like ok. Little taken back by how much he obtained and remembered:) all in a good way though.

I dont know how my six year old became so ''ok'' and ''mature'' about it...It was nice though to be able to have him calm his brother down about it....I was very surprised.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I close the door and tell my almost 3 yr old to give me a minute. It can be harder when we're out and about but I try to time my outings so I don't need to change anything or slip in a public restroom if she's fallen asleep in her stroller. She also has a teenaged sister, so we've had to tell her that the brightly colored tampons (in wrappers) she finds are not toys. They are "something for big girls" and she's fine with that. I say the same thing when she wants to use my deodorant.

The potty interest/disinterest is normal.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

We taught our daughter "Privacy Please" . She would yell , Privacy peas! when she would go to the potty. Also If I was in the bathroom with the door closed and she knocked, I would say "I need some privacy please".

I think it is ok to explain it the way you did, but why does she need to be in there with you?

At this age, I explained about the "Lady things" that were in the bathroom cabinets, by saying they were things used by really big girls and moms.

My daughter and her friends still laugh about calling all of that stuff "lady things"..

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K.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

If you're changing a tampon, I'd keep her out of the bathroom. She can wait (or wail) for a minute while you do your business. If she brings it up again, I'd just say it's a natural thing for mommies to do and leave it at that. No need to mention it and I wouldn't necessarily think she stopped using the potty b/c she saw blood. Maybe, but not necessarily. She'll probably forget it eventually. Just don't let her see it again - or ask her to turn away from you if you're in a public bathroom. She can learn to obey you. And no need to over explain things. I dont' think little kids need *that* much information.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

I have a 4 year old son and I really haven't pushed my privacy too much since I leave the bathroom door open when I'm home with him and daddy's at work. So he's walked in during my cycles (I use pads since my flow is very light) and he noticed a "mess" that was different than poop. I told him it was my period. He didn't ask anything else. And when he notices he just says "that's mommy's period" (Seriously, I crack up inside when he says it! LOL). Don't go into too much detail. I just told him it was how mommy's body worked and happened once in a while, that it wasn't ouchy. Seemed to be enough to him, for now.

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L.L.

answers from Topeka on

My kids have said mom you have blood I say yes it is called a peiod you will have them when you become of age,I also tell them not to worry about it this will only happen when your older they just now get me a tampon or a maxi.I don't close my door that much unless my son is home & gets nosy other than that it is opended.It hsn't freaked them out

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L.M.

answers from Dover on

Now is the time to teach privacy. Unless absolutely necessary, like when you're out in public alone, you should not have your toddler in the bathroom when you need to go. When in a public bathroom, have her look towards the door.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

My daughter walked in on me changing a tampon when she was four. I told her that Every month, a Mommy's body gets ready for a baby to grow, and that the blood is part of a sort of nest (endometrium was a bit too big of a word for her to say) inside the mommy's uterus for the baby to live in until it's big enough to be born. If a baby doesn't start growing, the Mommy's body gets rid of the nest and starts growing a fresh one.

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D.S.

answers from Dallas on

I don't remember the first time my girls noticed, but it was really a non-issue. I've explained to them that sometimes "Mommy has bloody" it's just a special thing that only mommies have (at the time they referred to all adult women as mommies). I told them that it will happen to them when they get older, and it's just means that my body doesn't have a baby right now.

One of my daughters used to chastise me about it if she saw I had blood in my panties when we were in the restroom. It was kind of funny. She would say it the same way I said to her if she left "skid marks" in her panties.

S.G.

answers from Dallas on

I've had the discussion with my toddler. My 2yr old has been in the bathroom with me since the beginning, she's just use to it. At 1 1/2 she started walking in the bathroom, picking up my pads, and she started to help peel off the wrapping. Now she feels that every time mom goes to change a pad she is the pad assistant..lol
I also have a 17 yr old daughter and our little toddler knocks on the door when she hears her changing her pads. She says, thru the door, "big sis I help." Its quite hilarious. Maybe you too can have a pad assistant to help with the understanding.

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J.B.

answers from Rochester on

I have a 3 year old son, who has recently witnessed my period. He didn't really get freaked by the blood, but was curious. I just told him that it was OK and sometimes mommies and big girls bleed for a little bit, but I didn't hurt and didn't have a boo-boo. I told him that my pad was like a special band-aid. If I am using other things, I do ask for privacy. He doesn't need to see that! :)

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