Toddlers at the Table?

Updated on July 02, 2008
D.S. asks from Palo Cedro, CA
32 answers

Hello ladies! (This is my first question.) I have 20-month-old triplet boys who are pretty good eaters and for the most part sit in their high-chairs without a fuss. One of their favorite new things, though, is to sit in and play on the "big-boy" chairs at our table (which is why our chairs are usually stored in the nearby bathroom!) My question is: when did you decide to let your toddler eat at the table? The only reason I haven't tried it yet is because they still enjoy overturning their plates and bowls (even the ones with suction cups) and spilling all their food on their high-chair trays. I was going to wait until they outgrew that activity. (And I haven't bought booster seats yet. I'd love input on which of those are the best, too). Thanks and looking forward to reading your responses.
Dana

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So What Happened?

Ladies, thank you for all the advice and anecdotes. I started the boys off in the "big-boy" chairs (without boosters) for some snacks and playtime to introduce them to the table. When I finally scavenged two booster seats at garage sales and bought one new, I began using those for snack times (but I still had to put them away afterwards or they would try to climb up them - we had a few minor falls). I think many of you assumed that my husband and I were eating dinner at the same time as our triplet boys. But until about two months ago, I couldn't really cook a nice dinner with three boys pulling me in every direction, so I'd whip up a quick meal for the boys, then cook again for my husband and I after the boys went to bed! Now that they are a little older and more patient at dinnertime, I can manage to cook dinner for us all. So for the past two months, we've managed "family meals" with the boys in their booster seats. I did still feed them in their highchairs sometimes because it was just easier. One of them recently learned to climb up into the highchairs by himself (which is definitely a safety hazard), so those are now packed up and stored in the basement. And we can finally leave the boosters as well as the regular chairs out - the boys are capable enough to get in and out of them safely. Thanks again for all your help!

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C.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Hi Dana,

I have twins who are now 6 1/2 (boy/girl) and I have to say you are my hero! It was hard enough with 2 babies at once. I honestly don't know how you do it!

I kept my kids in high chairs until almost 3 years old - it was just plain easier for me. We have 2 older kids and our kitchen table only seats 4, so we would just pull up the high chairs to the table with the 4 of us. I think it helped keeping them in there longer because of the mess/spilling that could occur. I also kept them in their cribs until almost 3 because I didn't want them to get up and run around the house and get hurt while we were sleeping.

A friend of mine took her child out of the high chair way too soon (can't remember the age) and all she does is graze when it's time to eat. She doesn't "sit" and eat. She passes by the table, grabs some food and eats on the go. I didn't want this to happen to my kids. My kids are very good eaters and have great table manners now. I hope this helps.

C. S.

2 moms found this helpful
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B.A.

answers from Detroit on

I feel your pain I have twin boys that turned 2 on 4/20. Up until they were 22mo we left our chairs laying on the floor because they would climb on the table and hang from the chandelier in the time it took me to go to the bathroom, pee and come straight back out I would even wash my hands in the kitchen sink so I didn't spend to much time with them out of my sight. We soon came to realize that the high chairs were becoming a hazard when the boys started climbing in and out of them whenever they wanted. I did not want to get rid of the highchairs until after their b-day so they could eat their cake(icing) without getting it all over everyone else. As soon as the cake was done I put the highchairs outside and they have not come back in. It takes alot of discipline to keep them acting like good boys but I like having the part of my kitchen/dining room back that the highchairs took up. Be patient and make the big boy chairs a big deal and when they misbehave on them or the table let them know they did wrong and temporarily take the big boy chairs away only to be brought back at the next meal as a kind of priveledge to sit with you at the table. Hang in there you have 1 more than me but believe me I know how you feel. I am a SAHM who also concieved and delivered naturally 1hr and 5min apart. I check mamasource every day if you need moral support just ask.
B. A. Roseville, MI

1 mom found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Detroit on

Hi Dana,
I'm M., I have almost 3 year old triplets. We kept them in their high chairs until they knew how to behave at the table. No food throwing, bowl dumping...stuff like that. I know we put them at the table shortly after they turned 2 years old. My goal was for them to have good table manners by 2, so that's why I remember that. Once we made the switch, it went very well, and it's so nice to be able to eat together as a family.

Hope this helps you some!
M.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.Y.

answers from Detroit on

Hi Dana,
You need to put them in booster seats for sure!! I have almost 3 yr old GBB triplets. I put mine in boosters at 14 months because they were tipping their high chairs over. We use safety first boosters and they are inexpensive and easy to move and travel as well as clean. They can take a good beating too. Good luck and let me know if you have any more questions. We have natural triplets too!!
S.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Lansing on

Hi,
I have twin 22 month olds and we always sat them at the table. Our kitchen isn't big enough for 2 highchairs so we bought those chairs that strap onto a regular chair. I resently have done away with those and they just sit at the table like big girls. I feel they have done better with sitting like that, they don't throw their food around as much. I mean food still lands on the floor (of course) but that's what we have a dog for. You can always try it and if it doesn't work for you go back to the highchairs.
Good Luck!

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K.W.

answers from Detroit on

For my first child (boy)I waited until about your boys age, but now I am not sure why! I moved my second child to her booster seat at 13-14 months. I can push her closer to the table so she can join the family, plus her booster seat is much easier to clean. I also have the Fisher Price seat and would 100% recommend it. they are about $20 at Target.

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S.R.

answers from Detroit on

We used the high chair we bought for our first son about 5 times before we decided it just wasn't working for us and got him a booster seat with seat belt and removable tray made by Fisher Price. It is compact and can easily be taken with us on trips or to other homes. It is white with a green back. When we had twins last year (they just turned one) we bought a second booster and have used those for the twins exclusively. Sometimes we use the tray and sometimes we pull the booster up to the table and put their food on the table. I don't even bother with a plate. They are going to make a mess no matter what.

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K.C.

answers from Saginaw on

well, I have four kids. 14, 12, 9, and 8. I started letting them eat at the table at about 2 and 1/2. It was easier to get them to learn table manners for me that way. I have never had twins or triplets, it was still a challenge but I figured they had to learn before I could take them to eat at relatives homes for the holidays, etc. Good luck!

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B.W.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Dana, Please for their safety keep them in the HC till the weigh to much to fit in it.
I put my DD in a booster seat at 2 she pushed off the table and landed in our sliding glass door w/ a bump on the back of her head so big I couldn't even put my hand over it.
I would go a head and take of the trays and push them up to the table though :)

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A.H.

answers from Detroit on

My almost Four Year Old has sat at the table with us for I can't even recall! (yes, it seems it has been that long! LOL)

I advise to give it a trial run. I recommend having the booster on hand - especially for traveling and eating out (restaurants (have you wiped down and seen the ick on these?)/ in-laws/ etc.)

The more you eat with them at the table, and they see what you do; they will eventually mimic you. And you can also quickly correct them (although I think you need more arms/hands than the rest of us!). :)

If they are able to sit comfortably in the booster (and safely); now is the time. Soon, the weather will be so nice you will want to go outside at the patio table and boosters make it easier (who wants to drag out the high chair, let alone three of them!).

Ours is just a blue plastic seat that straps down. I forget what it is called, but he has been very safe in it. I researched all my options through amazon/ toys-r-us.

Good Luck! And soon, you won't have to worry to much about locking those chairs up! :) (it's everything else!) LOL!

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S.R.

answers from Lansing on

I don't remember how old my 2 1/2 year old was when she started sitting at the table but it has been a long time (at 15 or 16 mos old). I first started by taking the tray off of the high chair and pushing the chair up to the table. Then she got good at climbing in and out of that, so for safety reasons I bought the booster seat. My daughter still occasionally tips over her plate, bowls and spills drinks for regular cups, but you just clean it up. I know three times the mess though. Good luck.

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J.C.

answers from Detroit on

Hi Dana Suzanne,
Triplets? What a blessing! I have a 22 month old and I think that we brought him to the table when he started showing interest in sitting in the big chairs with us around 18 or 19 months after I purchased a booster seat. I did a little research on boosters and settled on one from the One Step Ahead catalog (it's formed foam that is soft and seems to grip the seat very well - I think that it's "Coshee" brand.) I liked the idea of the soft seat verses the hard molded plastic I found in local stores. We are very happy with the choice! My husband and I are adament about him sitting down in the seat at the table and if our son starts to stand he's reminded to "sit down or get down" and he learned quickly that we meant it. (If we have to say it a second time, he's put down on the floor). I imagine that with three, your boys will test you on this too, but we usually only have to remind him once and he'll sit if he's still hungry. Hopefully this is helpful for you. Good luck!
J. :-)

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T.W.

answers from Lansing on

Hi Dana and welcome to Mamasource!! My daughter's middle name is Suzanne--love it!

My kids were about 18 months when they joined us at the table, but I only had singletons and they were 3 years apart--so your job is much harder. I think if your three are happy in high chairs and all is well don't change it. Keep them in as long as the chairs will hold them:)

GL:)

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D.M.

answers from Detroit on

Hi, I am rather new to the board, but this is what we do. I only used a traditional high chair for a short while w/ my 1st, who is now almost 5. I found the boosters that have the tray attached are wonderful. You strap it to your regular chairs, it has a seatbelt and when they are tall enough you can get rid of the tray and put their food on the table. So what if they make a mess?? It's a wonderful thing to allow them to be a part of the family during meal time. My daughter has been in hers since 6 months old. She is now 17 m and LOVES it.

Hope this helps,
D

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C.L.

answers from Detroit on

Wow.. how wonderful to have 3!
our son's been at the table pushed high chair up to table for some time.

We have 2 dogs that are very happy to clean up the mess!

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T.T.

answers from Detroit on

Hello Dana,
My son was about 21 months and it was fine I put a booster right to our table, we have always eaten dinner at a pub stlye table so it was not such a huge transition, because we already sit pretty high up. My daughter however is 17 months and has been joining us at the table for about 2 months, absolutley fine, she's actually alot cleaner than the high chair days. I say go for it, its just one less thing to clean, you have to clean the table anyway. I would just lessen the food on they're plates at first to see how they do. I could'nt wait to get rid of the highchair.

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M.M.

answers from Detroit on

We used those chairs w/ a tray that sit right on the big people chairs. It was a great transition (although may get expensive to have to buy 3) from highchair to big chair. My daughter is now 3 and she decided she was ready to use the big chair by herself. It might help to put a towel under the transition chair to stop the mess from ending up on your big chairs if they are cloth covered.

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T.K.

answers from Detroit on

Congrats on the triplets! I have 6 - most of whom are less than 2 years apart, but none of them were multiple births. With my kids, I sort of "weaned" them from the high chair by letting them sit at the table for snacks, or to color. I had a strap on booster chair for my oldest which I loved because it was very portable and secure, BUT it was a pain in the butt to clean all the little nooks and crannies and underneath it all the time. I used it for like a minute with #2, and by #3 I gave it up. At that age they don't really want to sit anywhere for too long anyway. They can get up and down from the chairs by themselves easier than if they have a booster, giving them the feeling of more autonomy, and I only have one chair to clean. :) Most of my kids started wanting to sit at the table around 18mo. and I always let them give it a try. Sitting in the highchair after being allowed at the table is a strong incentive to clean up your table act! I only fed them not-so-messy foods at the table, only gave them a little at a time so there was less to go on the floor if they knocked something over, and told them that they couldn't continue to sit there if they put their food on the floor (including dumping things off the high chair)intentionally. If they're playing with it they're not really hungry anyway so I agree with the moms who say they too have taken thier child's plate away.

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R.M.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I have five little ones, now I have never had the daunting task of 3 at once, so I can't speak to the overwhelming feeling of teaching 3 at once, but I can to the multiple age levels. Why are they over turning their plates? I know your little guys must be extremely smart. Start by not allowing them to do that. They are almost 2 years old. We never allowed it even in the beginning. They can play at the big boy chairs. That's where they can learn balance and yes, how to get up and down and feel important. It also helps when we go out to friends homes that do not have baby seats. They are practiced at being in them. But, we still eat at a baby booster seat, except for special times. They are more than old enough to learn how to behave. They don't outgrow it for ages, unless you teach them. A FIRM NO, We don't dump our food and you must mean it! IF they do it then take away their tray until they are willing to obey. I really would start with one son and then progress to the others so you aren't feeling crazy running from one to the next. WE have a parent rule at our house, that if you aren't ready for the next step then you don't get bumped up to it just becuase the baby wants to. For instance, if they crawl out of the crib, they don't get a big bed until they learn to stay in the crib. Why else wouldn't they crawl out of their bed? Maybe this will give you confidence. IT is hard to realize our babies aren't babies anymore and that we have to be firm and teach them.

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T.A.

answers from Detroit on

My daughter was about 28 months, but we actually have a kid size card table and chairs that she sits at (and some days I sit with her).

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B.D.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Although I don't have three little ones, I do have two. One is 2 yrs, the other is 9 months. I started when my daughter was self feeding pulling her highchair up to the table and started to work on manners like, please, thank you, fork, spoon, and all done. She also learned that if she tipped over her bowl I wouldn't pick it up. Now since my youngest uses the highchair, my older one is in the booster seat. The same rules apply. If she throws or tips something over, I don't pick it up. If it falls on the floor (which has plastic on it) it is no longer hers. She got so upset after throwing food and not having enough dinner, she learned not to do it. Of course there are the ocasional outbreaks, but hey, she is only two!

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B.B.

answers from Detroit on

I had heard some where that some kids feel excluded from the family by having them seperate from the table at meal time... I took this to mean the people who have their kids WAY accross the room sitting in the chair while the rest of the family is at the table eating, talking, and laughing...
We don't use the tray with our kids but have them sit in the highchair and pull them right up to the table. If there is any food launching or dish spilling (other than the occasional knocked over cup) they are DONE.
I think its all about training them. The first few times will be tiring...Since you are going to need 6 extra hands. :-) Any way to have a relative or friend or 2 come over for dinner a few nights in a row so you can each tag team ONE munchkin? Alternating munchkin and adult around the table of course.... Our youngest is 12 months and only drops food to see how fast the cat can run. lol I swear that cat can hear food hit the floor from across the house, so when he comes vaulting in we all laugh cause it is funny... BUT if he starts dropping the food, HE"S DONE....

That would be quite the suprize at the ultrasound... 3!!!
Congrats and peace and patience be with you!!!!

T.M.

answers from Lansing on

I don't have triplets, but I do have four kids only about 4 years apart in age so I can relate to your situation. Personally, I kept my kids in their high chairs until they couldn't fit into them anymore (ha! ha!) and we never bothered with booster seats. My theory was it was easier to get through a meal if they were in their high chairs. Once they are in a regular chair they get up and down during the meal, have to be reminded to sit correctly in their chair, they can't reach other things on the table, they can reach their own plate/cup easier in the high chair, etc.

Good luck!

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R.H.

answers from Cincinnati on

Hi Dana,
I don't have any advice on this as my daughter is only 8 months old and we use a Stokke highchair that 'sits' at the table.

I just wanted to give you BIG kudos on vaginally delivering three boys!!! WOW! I'm not sure the last time I heard of multiples being conceived naturally and certainly not delivered vaginally! You're a very strong woman...these boys are lucky!

R.

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S.B.

answers from Detroit on

What my parents did with my brothers was wait for them to be tall enough and then if they didn't over turn their plates for a few days reward them by letting them sit a the "big-boy" table. You could have a chart on the 'fridge that has two or three squares for each of the boys and they get to move a magnite into a square for each day they didn't over turn their plates. And when they got every square filled they can sit at the "big-boy" table.

S.S.

answers from Detroit on

I have a 27 month old and I still don't let him sit at the table. I plan to keep him his high chair until at least 3 years old. Only because it prevents all kinds of unnessesary frustration for mom and child(ren)- messes and freedom to get in and out when I don't want him to be out. I am a firm believer in keeping boundaries tight until I am totally ready to deal with all that the new ideas involve.
Now, my little guy loves his cushy booster seat sooooo, I allow him to sit in it when is is playing with playdough or coloring. That seems to satisfy his "big boy feeling."

Hope that helps.

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S.F.

answers from Detroit on

Hello,
It sounds like they are ready now. You might find they are better behaved and eaters when they are sitting at the table with the others in your family. I recommend the cooshie booster seats. They are great. Oh and triplets Wow, I want to commend you, I have trouble handeling my two and four year old!

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J.T.

answers from Grand Rapids on

My 2 1/2 year old has been at the table with us for at least a year now. Like others, when plates and bowls started getting over turned, that meant that they were no longer hungry and food was removed and dinner was over.

I found that placemats worked well to help contain some of the mess. They can be picked up, dumped out, and washed much easier than my table cloth.

As far a seats, we needed one that could travel to grandmas with us so we go the fisher price one that has a tray (and a cover for the tray). We really like it. The tray stays in the closet most of the time.

J.

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K.V.

answers from Detroit on

Hi Dana
I'm with Jennifer T. Keep them in the high chairs until they outgrow them. It's so much easier and "controlled" when they are confined. Since often, we mom's finish eating sooner, it give an uninterrupted opportunity to get the kitchen cleaned up while they finish eating. I'm all for the high chair for as long as they can be squeezed into them (ESPECIALLY with 3!!). :-) Oh, and I am all for sippy cups forever too! My 6 and 3 year olds still use them at mealtime. No spills for me!!

K.

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V.G.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Our daughters actually joined us at the dining room table when they started on table food. We never put them in a high chair. We purchased a booster seat that had a tray on it when they started on baby food. Once they moved to table food, we removed the tray and put them at the table. There were times where they would try and tip over their plate, and we just told them that "big girls" didn't do that. A couple gentle reminders and they stopped doing it.

As far as booster seats go, we got one from Meijers. It was a Safety First. It had straps that secured it to the chair and then another set of straps that hold the child in. We really liked it. There were a couple different seat heights so you could adjust it, and a recline function for baby feeding. We used that style for both of our girls.

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B.P.

answers from Kalamazoo on

When my kids (now 9, 7, and 4) really wanted to sit at the big table I took a deep breath one day and gave it a try (I guess you'll have to do that times 3, but I suppose you're used to that!). The key is that you explain to them that to be "big boys" and sit in a big chair, they will need to sit in their chairs and eat nicely. If they don't do it (within the abilities of 20-month olds of course), then it's back to the high chair. Also, as far as turning over plates, bowls, etc. I always gave them a reminder when they started playing with their food that if they were hungry they should eat, otherwise I would take their food away (and no more until the next snack/meal time). Of course there will be many accidents so we still have a large blanket under the table because unfortunately we have carpet under our table. As far as booster seats, I would recommend one that fastens to the chair so that they can climb in themselves a little easier (and the less nooks and crannies to get full of food, the better). Good Luck!

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L.S.

answers from Detroit on

Hi Dana,
I would tell them that they can sit at the table in big boy chairs when they stop upturning the dishes. I would buy the booster seats now but keep the highchairs in the room for immediate child repositioning (gentle but firm)if the plate is upended. When they understand that sitting at the table means not dumping the food then they can decide when they are old enough.
Wow! three boys!

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