Transition to a Toddler Bed

Updated on December 09, 2008
T.R. asks from San Jose, CA
19 answers

Hi,
My son is a little over 2 years old and has started climbing out of his crib. We bought him a toddler bed and had him help us set it up. He seems really like it. He will lay down and play in it but he is having a hard time sleeping in it. We are expecting our second child in 2 months so this is the perfect time to transition him. After all, he made the desicion for us to do so when he climbed out of his crib the first time. When I ask him if he wants to sleep in his big boy bed he says yes. When we lay him down in it, he will lay there when you stay with him. The minute you walk out of his room he gets up and opens his door. When he see's one of us come back he runs and lays down. He did this about 20 times yesterday. This is day 2 and were hoping parents out there might have some advice. I know its a matter of time, consistency, and patience, but is there anything else we can do?

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S.G.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi T., we kept the crib in my daughter's room for a week or so and told her that if she couldn't stay in her big girl bed she would be sleeping in the crib, that was her punishment. She didn't want to go back into the crib (because that was for babies) so she stayed in the bed.

Good luck!

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S.F.

answers from San Francisco on

You have great advice for teaching him to stay in bed so I'll just add that with my little boy, we initially left the crib and the bed set up in the room. He always chose the crib. Once we removed the crib, he chose the bed. Also, we had a junior bed that we had against the wall and we put a rail on the other side that only left a small space to get in and out.

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N.L.

answers from Fresno on

Hi T.,

It sounds like your son is just like any other 2yo who is testing his new bed with new freedom (no crib 'walls' to keep him in). My son did this too. What helped a lot for us was to put bed rails on his bed (we got our from One Step Ahead because they were longer than other rails out there) and I attached his music box that was on his crib to the rails. He used the music when it was time to go to sleep and this helped associate his new bed with sleep time.

It wasn't easy though (especially the first week!) A lot of up and down, in and out of bed. We also had a gate on his door, mostly because our bedrooms were upstairs and I didn't want him getting out of his room and falling down the stairs. This helped too because we decided to just let him stay in his room and 'play' until he was ready to sleep then he went in to his big bed and turned on his music and fell asleep. It was all on his timing at first. Now when it's time for bed, we tell him he has to stay in bed, turn on his music and go to sleep.

Good luck and keep the faith...it will work!!

N.

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M.L.

answers from Redding on

Some "training" needs to be done no matter what age you transition to a bed. Just keep putting him back in and stay neutral when you do so. Don't get upset or give him anything that may be entertaining. In fact you don't really have to say anything. He will get tired of climbing in and out soon enough as long as it isn't entertaining and you are consistent. Treat the return trip to bed with the same attitude as taking out the trash. You don't talk to the trash bag. You just calmly pick it up and put it back where it belongs then continue on with your evening.

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M.T.

answers from Sacramento on

My son started getting up from bed and leaving his room, and this started months AFTER he moved to his toddler bed. I guess he suddenly realized how much freedom he had.
During nap time, I put the little plastic covers on his door handle, so he cannot leave his room without me opening the door. After getting up a few times, he gave up and returned to bed. After a few days, he didn't even bother leaving his bed. I don't know what your door handles are like, so this might not even be a possible solution for you... but just incase, I thought I'd share what worked for me!
Good luck!

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D.H.

answers from San Francisco on

We put up a sturdy gate, and our son would play awhile, then lie down and go to sleep either on a floor piilow or on his toddler bed. Good Luck!

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K.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Your son's behavior is so common for a 2 yr old. Of course he's gonna say he wants to sleep in the bed, he's excited but he's also probably not completely equating his response w/actually staying & sleeping in the bed. And to be honest, by climbing outa the crib, he wasn't 'deciding' it was time for you to move him outa his crib....he was just testing his boundries. But all the getting up & down is a pretty clear sign he may not be ready for the toddler bed....too much freedom. So, if you have to put him in that bed right now, push one side up against a wall & put a gate on the other side & make it cozy w/some stuffed animals to make the space seem smaller & less free. Our older son was long outa the crib when his little brother came along but the baby still slept in our room in a pac-n-go as we didn't want him to wake up his brother. We did this for 6 months. Is there any way you could do the same....keep your older son in his 'space' & have the baby sleep somehow in your room? It is only the second night so you could still move him back to the crib. He might also feel 'pushed' outa his crib since he knows he has a new sibling on the way. But if you wanna put him in the toddler bed, you've gotten a lot of great ideas as to how to transition. I would also add that you make no comment about the new baby needing his bed cuz if you do, that could make him territorial & make the change harder. Just keep telling him you're doing it cuz he's a big boy. When our youngest started clinbing outa the crib at 2 yrs, every time I took him back to bed & said nothing, literally. Wouldn't even look him in the face & no kiss good night! His older brother was trained to not acknowledgwe his little brother standing sheepishly in the hall. That first night, I must've taken him back to bed at least 20 times in a 1/2 hour period! That probably lasted about 5 days & then it was over....could put him to bed & he'd stay there. Best of luck!

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S.S.

answers from San Francisco on

hey T. -
reading your post made me laugh, because what we went through to get our daughter to stay in her room was...well, it didn't feel good at the time, but let me tell you that we now have a wonderful little girl, 2 1/2, who stays in her bed for naps and bedtime -
we did the consistant bringing her back to bed, over and over and over (during the first week we were transitioning her i remember one naptime where i brought her back to bed over 50 times) - finally one day i just held the door shut and after some crying, she took herself back to bed -
anyhow, we did this regularly (standing by the door, which took some time, to hear that she'd gone back to bed/stopped crying, etc) until she stopped getting out of bed ---
so consistancy is the key, of course, but i wanted to share with you what steps we took to nip that getting up over-and-over-again scenario in the bud -
good luck! i'm sure you'll get lots of great advice and it sounds like you're already doing really well - it just takes time! you're only a few days into the process and it will take a few weeks at least, i'll bet -
smiles,
S.

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N.C.

answers from Sacramento on

Just keep putting him back in bed. We put a gate up at his door while he was transitioning. That way if he gets up in the middle of the night he can't wander around until we hear him and wake up. We made sure his toys were picked up so he wouldn't trip etc.

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N.M.

answers from San Francisco on

The same kind of thing happened to us. It was the novelty of having the new bed--too excited to sleep. It was a brand new thing for our kids to be able to get in and out of bed by themselves, so that's what they did, over and over and over, just to say goodnight or hi again to dad. After a little while, the novelty wore off and it was much easier.

Since it's brand new for your son, you might try this to help the transition(assuming he's used to falling asleep on his own). For the first few nights, stay by his bed until he falls asleep. (It might take awhile since it is an exciting new bed.) Then for the next few days, just stay by the bed for 20 or 30 minutes, maybe checking back in on him later if he's still having trouble settling down enough to sleep. Slowly decrease the time you spend staying with him until you are back to your regular routine.
If the problem persists after a month or more, then you know it's a behavior thing and no longer the new bed. Then you might need some kind of reward/consequence system or a new strategy.

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A.S.

answers from Sacramento on

my daughter was a runner too. we bought a mesh rail and that seem to help because it made her feel like there was some type of old boundary there.

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P.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Put a gate on his doorway. He'll be able to open his door but will have no other option than to stay in his room. He may fall asleep on the floor but will eventually choose the bed.

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T.B.

answers from Sacramento on

2 yr olds don't understand the imaginary boundry of the bed. We had climbers too, my son was 16 months and my daughter about 19 months when they started climbing out of the crib. For my son we just put him in a full size bed that we already had with a rail on it (he rolls a lot and kept falling out). He did great for about 2 weeks and then the getting out of bed started. It was horrible, sometimes 25 times a night or more. So we ended up installing a baby gate on his door. It wasn't rewarding anymore to get out of bed, so he started staying put after a few nights of tears. My daughter always had the gate, and while we have trouble with her getting up at naptime, bedtime she is usually pretty good at staying put, even with the gate open (shes 2.5). At naptime she gets out of bed and plays quietly in her room, which I don't mind. We have her in a twin bed too, she really didn't like the toddler bed we had her in for awhile. You may want to consider getting your son a regular size bed for those times that you do need to lay with him it is more comfortable for you. Change is really hard for some kids, so it may just be a matter of getting him used to it.

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M.C.

answers from San Francisco on

We had a few problems too, mostly he was a bit scared of so much space in his bed. We put on a bed rail and gave him lots and lots of his favorite animals to sleep with. I do remember there was a transition period (a night or two) where we rolled the crib back into his room and he slept there (new, big bed stayed intact). Remember to reassure and comfort him first, then finally 'lay down the law' like your usual bed time routine, that is, he needs to stay in his bed. He'll just first need a few days of easing in and it will then all be fine.

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L.F.

answers from Sacramento on

we put a child-proof plastic knob over the doorknob so our girls couldn't get out! ours never tried, but i was fearful at night that they'd get up and into trouble...good luck!

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J.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I agree that you will need to be patient for more than two days on this! How about staying with him the first couple of nights until he falls asleep? It might help!

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T.F.

answers from San Francisco on

Your son sounds exactly like mine was, but he was only 18 months old when he started crawling out of & literally jumping down from his crib. We transitioned the crib into a toddler bed more for safety than anything else, but he was the same as yours. We would put him to bed & no sooner did we close the door did it open right back up again - a dozen or so times every single night for what seemed like forever, though I think it was only for a few days. What I finally started doing was sitting in his room in the dark by his door after putting him to bed & letting him know I was there & not to get out of bed. I guess just knowing I was there prompted him to stay in bed, but it didn't always work. I used to try to quietly "sneak" out when I thought he was almost asleep, but sometimes he would hear me & start to get out of bed, so I'd have to tell him I was still there & not get out of bed. I think I had to do this for several weeks before he finally would stop getting out of his bed, so it definately took a ton of consistency & patience as well b/c of course as I'm sure it is for a lot of parents, we have "our" time after the kids go to bed.

Even after he stopped getting out of bed after we would put him to bed, he still had issues getting out of bed in the middle of the night & coming into our room & we just "dealt" with it by walking him straight back to his bed & telling him not to get out of bed & that he is supposed to sleep in his own bed. Well, low & behold when he got too big for his toddler bed at almost 3 yrs old (we had used the crib mattress still b/c the crib had transitioned to a toddler bed), we got him a twin bed with a nice comfy mattress & he stopped getting out of bed in the middle of the night. We realized then that it might have been the crib mattress that was uncomfortable for him, but we were so relieved to finally start getting some uninterrupted sleep! Luckily for us, his twin sister has always gone to bed w/o issues & didn't get up in the middle of the night like him. Anyway, just be consistent with him in putting him back to bed & make sure he has a comfortable mattress! Good luck!

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J.H.

answers from San Francisco on

I told my DD that if she would stay in her bed and fall asleep all week long that I would give her a treat on Sat. Then every night I would remind her about her goal. That worked very well for me. The first week she got an ice cream cone, the second week a trip to the park with Grandma, now we are working on a balloon.

K.L.

answers from Redding on

Our son never climbed out of his bed and when we put him in a toddler bed he would wake up and sit there and call for us thinking he wasnt able to get up by himself. It was really funny to watch with the door opened just an inch. Then came our daughter and she never really climbed out of her crib but the time did finally come for her to move into a bigger bed and we had trouble keeping her there. We had to put her back several times the first few nights and she would do just as your son is doing,,running back and jumping into bed as we came to scold her. It was her new big game and we didnt want to play. I found if we stood with the door just barely opened so we could see her, and the instant her little foot hit the floor we swung the door open and sternly told her to get back in bed. It may have startled her the first few times and after that she just stayed in bed thinking we had eyes in the back of our heads to somehow know when she was sneaking out of her bed. It only took 1 night and she didnt try to get up after that. You might try it. We didnt scream and purposly scare her, but sorta surprised her enough to stop the bed escape.. good luck!

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