Trying to Have a 2Nd Child

Well, they will have their parents in common--but nope not much else. I just recently gave birth to my 2nd daughter and her birthday is just 2 days after her big sisters 13th!!! So I say go for it, this is my 2nd marriage and I was young with my first (so were you) and IT WILL WORK. Best of luck

Hi,

My stepdaughter is ten years older than my oldest son and she adores her little brothers. When Jack was born she was my little helper and though she only spends half weekends with us she has developed a very special relationship with her younger sibs. As an 'older' mom it's comforting to me to know that they will have an adult in their life that is so close to them blood relation wise. Good Luck!

Barb

my sons are 10 1/2 yrs apart and they love each other. go for it.

J.,
First of all, good luck on trying to concieve your next child. I hope all goes well for you. I had a miscarriage before I had the successful pregnancy with my almost 1-year-old.
My girls are 9 1/2 years apart. At first I thought the older one (Destiney) would want nothing to do with the baby (Selena), but boy was I wrong. Of course the first few months were pretty boring since the baby sits in her seat and doesn't do much. But once the baby started to laugh, sit up, crawl etc. the boring phase ended. Destiney absolutely ADORES HER! She plays with her every moment she can and is the absolute best big sister you can imagine! She even dresses her up in her t-shirts, she throws the ball for her, dances with her etc. Selena is now starting to take steps and who do you think the first ones were to? Not me!! They were to Destiney! She first stood for Destiney too! I recently came into contact with Destiney's paternal grandparents (they have different dads) and brought both girls to their home for a visit. Her grandfather said to me "R., I think this is the best thing you could have ever given Destiney is that baby." That was while Destiney was sitting on their sofa tickling Selena. All the while my fiance and I are dreading Destiney's teenage years, and we fear they may grow apart at that point, right now they are the best of friends.

Hi,
I can say for me I dont have any older siblings that are that far apart from me. My husband and his sister are 10 years apart exactly and he has told me they have nothing in common and he accually resented her when she was born. He being a only child for so long and then having a sibling arrive it was hard for him. My husbands father had a sister and they were 10 years apart also and he I was told loved his sister right to death. They were pretty close.
10 years is a pretty far distance but I dont think it should stop you from having another child. How does your daughter feel about having a sibling? I say you should go and try your hardest for another child because you are probably going to wish you did when you are not able to down the road.

I have no experience to base any advice on, but I would think it would depend on your daughter's attitude. She may think its really cool to have her "own" little baby brother or sister to help you take care of. I would also think it would be neat to have another baby after so much experience parenting! My kids are only 13 months apart, and while I am happy it will hopefully make them close...it probably would have been nice if we could have waited 'til we had a bit more experience parenting our first! ;-)

My oldest brother is 10 years older than me and yes it's too old to have commonalities, but we still have a great relationship. He was more like my 2nd father as a kid which is great. If you truly want another child I'd say go for it!! Your oldest will be a great helper!

There are 25 years between my brother and I! Just think of all the help you will get from your older daughter and how much she will learn? If you have a loving home, no age gap is too big.

I know it's been a while since you posted your question, but I figured I would answer anyway. My daughter is nine-years-old as well. My husband and I suffered with "unexplained infertility" issues for years, and we desperately wanted another child. I am happy to say that I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby boy last May. My daughter was hoping for a baby sister, but she adores her baby brother. I, too, was thinking the gap might be too big. Now I don't really think about that much. My daughter loves her brother and tries to help out with him when she can. When they get older, I'm sure they won't have too much in common, but they will look out for each other, and I think they will be really close. I think having a child at any point in life is a blessing. Best of luck to you!

Hi J.,
I think it would depend on your childern's personalities. My Finance and his brother are only 2 years apart and they can barley stand to be in the same room together. As for me my half brother and I are 29 years apart... he is 2.5 so I can't say how close we are going to be just yet. But I love him all the same. Good luck :)

Given that my family went through the exact same thing, I would say no. I was 9 1/2 when my little sister was born, and I think it will help your daughter mature and grow responsible a little faster than her friends without little siblings. I know I was a huge help to my mother from the start. I would just say as a warning, after having the difficulty cleared to have the second one, the third child comes along pretty quickly. Now I'm 25 (and seven months pregnant), my middle sister is 16, and the youngest is 14...

Hi J.!

Like you I also had my first child at a young age and was trying for the second for some time. To our surprise right after our daughter turned 14yrs we found out I was pregnant. There is a 15yr gap between my two girls and I thought for sure that this wasn't going to fly with the older one. I have to tell you that they are the best of friends, maybe because they are both girls..I don't know. So, a 10yr age differnce should not be too hard to handle! Don't let people tell you that you're crazy for wanting to start all over again either...it really is not the big of a deal! Good luck, I hope everyhting works out as easy for you as it did for me.

Have a great holiday!

We have three daughters. 18 - 15 - 7 years old. All three get along very well. The older daughters have a great relationship with the youngest. It is going to be hard next fall when our oldest goes to college, and just two years later the next one is leaving too. That is the time that I think is going to be the hardest for our youngest. Many friends suggested, that I should have had another child, so that the youngest would have a sibling closer in age. I was close to 40 when I had the last one, and I just couldn't imagine going through the entire "baby" stage again.\
Good luck I hope everything goes well!

I think your daughter will react very much based on how YOU react... if she is part of the pregnancy (take her to ultrasounds, etc) and sees you being excited, my guess is, she will be too! She'll probably be a big help and feel good about it too. I dont know that theyll necessarily PLAY together, but theyll love each other - how special for her, really! Good luck! J.
Geez, when I was a 10 year old girl, I would have been head over heels for a baby sibling!

My sister was born right before I turned 10, and my little brother came 4 years after her. My sister & I are very close and always have been. Heck- I wished & prayed for a baby sister for 10 years and never forgot how happy I was when she finally arrived. Once I was driving, I brought her everywhere with me and when I was an adult out on my own, she was a frequent weekend guest. Because of the age gap we were able to skip some of the less positive things siblings do & experience- we've never fought over a toy, never tried to out do each other's grades or accomplishments and I like to think I've been a good influence on her.
Best of luck TTC and don't worry about the age difference.

Hi J.,
I am the youngest of three children. My brother is 10 years older, and my sister is 9 years older. I was very close with my siter when we were growing up. It took a little longer with my brother, (he went off to college when I was 6, but as adults we are very close. I feel I have the best of both worlds. I have siblings, but also was much like an only an only child. I now have two small children of my own and I love seeing them with their much older cousins. I also had trouble getting pregnant, seeing your OBGYN sounds like a good plan. Best of luck!

J.-

Personally, I feel that it's up to you as to what YOU want, but being the youngest of 2 daughters in my family, I can tell you how I see it from my point of view. My sister and I have nearly 6 years between us. We played together a little bit when we were younger, but we fought a lot and as we grew up, she kind of became like a second mother to me, but not in a way that I liked. Anyway, the age gap between us caused a lot of friction because she was always like 4 stages ahead of me in life, and our interests were never the same. To be honest, and I know she would say the same, we didn't even really like each other for many many years. It wasn't until we were both adults, in the sense that we were both in our twenties, that we started to develop a relationship. We are the best of friends now, but those years growing up were tough, and I found myself resentful of her, just as she was resentful of me.

In my opinion, I feel it is too big of an age gap, especially 10 years. However, in the end, it is really up to you. I just wanted you to know what if was like from a "daughter's" point of view. Good luck with your decision.

A.

I don't think it is too much. It will just be different- your duaghter will get to enjoy watching her baby brother/sister grow up... rather than competing for attention, they will have a different kind of bond.

My brother and I are 5 years apart and my husband and his sister are 10 months apart (Irish Twins- both born the same year). Regardless of the age difference we are both VERY close to our siblings- it is the family that makes the relationship special- not the ages.

I wish you and your family the best of luck.