Trying to Relocate Out of State with Child

Hi S.,

I work for a family law attorney and I do know that if you do plan on moving out of state you MUST follow specific guidelines according to Florida Statutes. As far as people telling you that there is no way you can do this, that is simply not the case. If you would like to email me privately I can forward you some websites of local attorneys that have information on relocation with a child.

You fail to mention if your son's father is very involved in his life or not. Just that he'd fight you. Well, if he'd fight just to be petty that is one thing, but if he'd fight because the valued time with his son would be taken away that is another thing. If his father is not a positive influence on his life then good luck to you in taking both your boys towards a better place. If its just a matter of a "great opportunity" then maybe you should consider sending your husband alone and let him make the trip back and forth to visit you. Yeah right, huh? Because that is the choice you are thinking of giving your ex and your son. Is the option for your son to have to travel back and forth or for your ex to travel back and forth any different than asking your husband to do the same? But it sounds like the decision to leave has already been made if you can convince the courts to let you do so. That is just SELFISH! I can't blame you for thinking about your family as a whole, but you aren't thinking of your son's family as a whole. Because his family includes his father. My mother took my sister and I away from our father for a "great opportunity" and it wasn't that great, it was simply an excuse for her to change venues and "start over". Now, if his father really isn't involved and doesn't show interest in your son other than vindictiveness, by all means good luck on your move. I just hope you and your current husband are making the decision to move based on more than what would make your lives better and easier, with disregard for you son's. I'm sure you'd assume that if your lives are better then your son's is too, but as long as his needs are being met where he is, then is taking him away from his father the best course of action?

A friend of mine went to a mediator. I thought the solution he came up with was really creative and thinking out of the box. My friend is the father in Florida and his ex moved to Ohio. So neither of them have to pay child support. At his expense, he goes up there and picks the child up at the beginning of summer and takes her back before school starts. He also has access to her at all holidays. During the summer, the mother is welcome, at her expense, to come visit. They both make several trips per year and it seems to be working out fine so far.

So maybe you could work out something similar. Probably he would be more likely to agree if he didn't have to write that support check every month.

Hi S.,
I dont think you are going to like what I have to say. I am the product of divorced parents. I am now a parent myself. My Mom got a "great opportunity" to move out of state with my sister & I when I was 11 & my sister 7. We moved across the country & I am still upset with the judge who allowed her to do this....to take us away from our Dad. My Dad wasnt father of the year by any means. But his ability to parent us was non-existent. How can you parent from 3000 miles away???? Children need both of their parents!!! Especially boys. You cannot give him what his father can.
I'm not going to go on & on. But think about what is best for your son. It was REALLY hard for my sister & I to travel back & forth across the country & not to have our Dad around. Phone calls are not the same as visits in person. I am sure that the job opportunity is probably a great one. But is it worth it in the long run for your son?????
H.

hey chica! My lawyer told me that if the move would benefit my child's life then I would have a better chance of my request being granted. You would need to show how it would (more $$, better schools, etc)
I guess it also may depend on how involved your son's dad is now and/or if he's iffy on his visitation/child support as it is.
Good Luck!

We were on the other side of this situation and last December tried to prevent my husbands ex from moving his daughter from Florida to Seattle. Even despite her having 4 step brothers/sisters and a half sister the only thing the judge was concerned about was income. That it! Nothing else mattered. If you can prove that the child/ren's lives would benefit I honestly don't think it will be a problem. We really, really fought it. Even with his ex's suicide attempts, it all came down to money. We now see her six weeks a year.

I never pursued leaving the State persay. My ex heard I was thinking about it and put an injunction on me and I went to an attorney to respond and find out what my rights were. She told me that as long as I had a job there and that the move was for the betterment of me and my child and not just an attempt to get away from him, that the judge could not keep me here. With today's economy, it is logical that you have to go where the money is. She told me to keep a journal of the contact between my ex and his daughter (at the time he was giving me a schedule and not following it, now he doesn't even give me a schedule). I don't know if your ex follows through with his visitation schedule, but if not, the judge will look at this as well. Good luck to you.

I went through the same thing. I had 2 daughtersfrom my previous marriage. What I did was meet with my ex and his new wife and layed everything down on the table.I made promises for arrangements as to keeping in touch, with a home phone,etc and made arrangements to meet halfway to drop off and pick up and had him sign a notarized statement so I could put them in school. It took some talking but we finally worked it out and it was good for everyone. I really had to hold my temper but it was all worth it. I did consult with a family law attorney and this is what he suggested (sorry he has retired since).