Good Morning Mommas!
I need help with my 6 year old. He is holding his poop and reverting and pooping his pants. He has been potty trained since 2.5 years old. This just started around Valentines day and I want to try and get it undercontrol before it gets out of control. He has had issues with his BM's for about 1.5 years. There hasn't been much consistancy with his BM's, meaning solid, soft etc... (sorry maybe TMI)
I've taken him to his pediatrician several times, changed his diet to high fiber, just started to give a small cup of metamucil and a prune a day along with fiber gummies with his vitamins. We tried Miralax for 2 weeks about a year or so ago and it was horrible for him. We were told it's not a laxitive but, his body reacted as if it was.
The problem isn't that he is constipated, he drinks tons of water and green tea (no caffine) every day. No sodas doesn't like juice and the past few weeks he hasn't had any chocolate or sugary anything. Even when he did it was maybe 1-3 times per week he had a good treat after dinner. It seems to be mainly psycological lately, he just doesn't want to poop on the potty. I ask him why, he says he is scared. I ask him why are you scared, he says he is affraid it's stuck. I am sure at some point with all of his issues he has had a painful BM but, not recently. I do try to get him to sit 2 times every night but, he is crying or won't relax when he does. I try to bring a book in to read to him or a fun game on my cell phone to distract him a little but, it doesn't work. Every time he does go he feels such relief and says Momma, I'm not scared anymore, I will poop on the potty. That is after he has a BM in his pants. All is well until the next time and the cycle starts all over again. I have to add that he will not go at school, never has.
It took me almost 2 months but I was able to get him ian appointment to see a Gastroenterologist at Children's (per the pediatrician and my momma gut). The pediatrician seems to think we are doing everything we can. I am feeling very stressed and don't want to cause more stress for him. I have read that this is somewhat common especially for boys. What do I do? Does anyone have any experience with this issue? I told him he would have to start cleaning his underwear himself and possibly wear diapers if he can't go on the potty. I explained how withholding can make him sick and in pain. I feel a little guilty for the diaper threat but, I am pregnant and cleaning a 6 year old up when it's done on purpose I'm not ok with. Help, any advice please!!! I want to help him overcome this fear of his.
Hi, J.:
He has ecopresis.
Find a local narrative therapist.
An article was written about a child who had this problem.
This behavior is meeting a need. It is not a physical one but an
emotional one.
You can also get him children's digestive aids to take with his meals.
Enzymedica
Good luck.
D.
My grandson was exactly the same. Afraid to go because it hurt. He would only have a bowel movement once a week or so so it was a BIG one and I'm sure it did hurt.
What we did was started giving him mineral oil twice a day - started out withe a 1/8 cup in some juice in the morning and again in the evening. Mineral oil is completely natural. It will go into the bowel and soften up the stool so it doesn't hurt. Now, if he hasn't gone for a while, it will take a couple of doses before the stool softens because it's been in there a while and it is HARD! Also, you may notice "skid marks" in his underwear; that's to be expected. Also, if he's in school, tell the teacher that if he asks to use the bathroom she HAS to let him. With the mineral oil, he may not be able to hold it, thus the skid marks. The school needs to be on board.
The other thing we did was to get a foot stool for him to put his feet on while sitting on the toilet. If you can't reach the floor, it is harder to have a BM and you don't feel secure on the toilet. So helping him to feel more secure on the toilet and being able to put his feet on something to help him push may help.
Good luck! I know this is extremely hard and frustrating!
When my son was in Kindergarten he had a problem similar, he would try to go but said it was painful and I started to notice streaks in his pants everyday, so he said the same thing your son said he was afraid and it was painful and he would cry to sit on the toilet so my hubby took him to the doc they took an Xray of his insides and discovered he had a very large blockage of BM stuck and what was happening was that some BM was leaking out around the blockage (i know ewww!) but he was not able to expel the large BM so they gave him meds and advised us to keep him home from school a couple of days and for him to wear pull ups (which he was not happy with) he finally went and went and went and felt better...so maybe get a picture of his insides and make sure that is not the problem.
one thing that i have done with my son that might help is teach him to take some slow, deep, relaxing breaths. hold his hands and do it with him. that helps my son relax sometimes. might help you relax about it too :)
I can only add that tea is a diuretic, so it may be counterproductive to give him the tea, as it could be dehydrating him and contributing to constipation. Tea also blocks iron absorbsion, so his body could be dumping iron in his bowels, again contributing to constipation (his feces would be very dark, in this case). I would cut the tea out completely, since it's unnecessary and could be adding to his problems. Good luck!
My son had the same problem when he was in kindergarten. The Dr.'s could find nothing wrong and had him take laxatives everyday which didn't really seem to help all that much. It was so bad for a while that I was having to bring him clean underwear or even take him home from school on a weekly basis. We finally found a surprising solution, we switched from regular milk to lactose free and he hasn't had the problem since. While it certainly may not be your sons problem, it may be worth a try.
Good luck!
Have you googled human anatomy to find pictures of the digestive system? It just seems like if he is afraid it will get stuck he doesn't actually know what is going on inside him. So show him why it won't get stuck.
I have not read all the suggestions, so if I repeat, sorry. I am dealing with major bowel issues with my almost 4 year old. In fact we are still waiting for test results to confirm if anything is really going on. That being said we dropped the undie wearing in Dec. at the advice of our ped. anyhow moving along, almost 2 weeks ago he finally decided he wanted to wear undies again so on they went. He has daily struggles with pooping, and I give him an adult dose of miralax almost every day, if not every 2 days.. depending on his bowl movements. He streaks his undies at leat twice a day, but in a way its a good sign because he realizes the poop wants to come out. Know your son was potty trained previously, but mine never pooped on the potty so I realized that he didnt understand exactly how to push to get the poop out. Also I made a circle with my one hand to demonstrate his hinder and then take my other hand and use my finger to show that the poop is in your belly. When you start to push the poop wants to come out, but if you stop the poop slides back up to your belly. I always say, let the poop swim.
I also explain that when you eat food it goes into your belly and your belly shares it with other organs so they can eat. It then makes it's way down your belly and passes through your gallbladder, where it gets digested. From there it turns to trash, so your belly has to throw it away, and that is why the poop needs to come out and go swim. ( I had my gallbladder out and he remembers it and likes talking about it so this is why I made the story this way. You can add what you like and even be more descriptive)
Also I give my boys probiotics, they get flax seed meal in their yougurt, fresh fruit, vegis. I limit the milk intact to 6-8oz a day. I also limit cheese. Good luck, hope he gets over this hump soon!
I have had many friends go through his with younger boys about age 3 when they are potty training but haven't heard of it in anyone your son's age. I think the below suggestion of teaching him more about what is going on in his body might help. If it doesn't then I would possibly have someone check him for anxiety problems just to rule it out. It seems like he is experiencing a lot of stress so you have to figure out what the source is.
I would start him on some probiotics right away, they will help him become regular (they worked like a charm for my daughter). I also would only have him sit once a day on the potty (try for the same time every day like after a warm bath he will be relaxed then). Do not get angry if he doesn't poop and/or is scared. Work with him, give a book to read or toys to play with. Talk to him about why he thinks his poop will get stuck and explain how his body works. He may have had a hard painful poop or was constipated and had trouble getting it out and it has now caused fears.
I had the hardest time with my daughter being afraid to poop on the toilet and it took a long time to get her to go there. I think part of it was a control issue and some fear (my SD told her the toilet eats the poop and she got scared). She started going regularly on the potty just after school started this year. Now she sits before her shower and reads her books with no problem. I did notice before then if I got upset or angry it made it worse. I am sure it is not pleasant to be cleaning up when you are pregnant, but hang in there he won't be doing this forever.
My daughter went through this last year. She wouldn't go at home or at school either. I finally had to let her in the bathroom when I went and make a big production: "Yeah! I went poopies! Bye-bye poopies!". Trust me, not one of my finest hours...lol...but it worked. NOw she comes to me complaining of belly pains. I ask her if she's pooped today. If she says no, she runs right to the potty and does her business. When she's done she says "Much better".
It's a behavioral issue. This is the only thing in your child's life he has control over. That and, poop is a part of him. I remember when my boys were young they would freak out and cry when they saw it in the potty. We ended up making a star chart and I gave them rewards the times they didn't throw a fit.
My ExHusband had these probs when he was 6-8 yrs old, my MIL had to take him to the ped to 'help' the BM when it got stuck because he would NOT go, he outgrew the prob on his own she never said anything about cleaning up after him tho', I know when I have been constipated for awhile (I have MAJOR tummy probs) when my body finally decides to 'let go' there is no stopping! It may be the same with him, he simply can't control @ age 6 to make it to the BR in time. Make him understand that the MOMENT he feels that urge he MUST go immediatly to the BR, explain that mommy is PG & she gets sick when she has to clean up, I am sure you are frustrated but TRY your best to remain loving & kind while explaining.
I agree with Jo W., try the explaination route about the body & how it works, could be a very good thing, there are sites dedicated to children & books @ the library that you can take out & read with him.
I don't know how involved the appt. with the Gastro. Ped. was but if this continues it wouldn't hurt to check out his system to make sure it's NOT something medically related.
Just FYI, I NEVER did go when I was in school either, not even to pee unless it was a dire emergency! I STILL can't abide public restrooms & only use them when it is absolutely necessary.
I don't think I have much in the way of advice. We had some poop issues with my son when we first starters potty training and, after a long battle, we did the Miralax and it worked great for us. I more just wanted to try to encourage you a little, if I can. Don't beat yourself up about the "diaper threat." I think we've all been in places with our kids when we're just so frustrated and tried so many things that we're out of ideas and we're willing to try ANYTHING. I've been potty training my son for almost a year now and I've about waved the white flag here myself! :)
I hope you are able to get to the bottom of things with your son. Seems like there are a few good suggestions as starting points for you. Wish you all the best.
There are a lot of good suggestions here. The only other thought I had was, could this have anything to do with you being pregnant? If he's nervous about not being your baby any more he may be acting out in this way...not that he would necessarily know that's why he's having potty problems. If you think the idea of a new baby on the way might be the issue, you can start helping him get comfortable with that in addition to the potty stuff. Good luck! It's so hard sometimes to figure out how their little brains are working.
Read this
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2012/03/bed_wet...
And ask them to do a xray of his bowels....
Also, you need to rethink the "done on purpose" idea--he's not doing this to spite you---he's probably either in pain, or in great fear of the pain he's experienced in the past.
