Tween Body Odor Solutions?

I have a 13 year old son, so I understand what you're going through. I took him shopping with me to Target,and let him pick out which deodorant he wanted to try. We went to the travel size section so he could pick up a number of them, just the right size and cost.
I find it's perfectly safe for my son to use it, he started using deodorant about 1 year & 1/2 ago.
Good luck!

You can try a deodorant crystal or I am also trying Trader Joes unscented deodorant for my daughter. We must stress to them the importance of personal hygiene too!

Only you know the way to approach him, because you know him better than any of us. With my son, we like to laugh and play a lot, so my husband and I didn't have to baby him through the situation. He was 10 when we told him that it was time he start taking showers everyday. Then I just bought him the deoderant and he had a big smile on his face. He knew it meant he was getting older.

My mom just came out and got me a sample size the first time and said just in case.

Okay now I feel like a bad mom! I guess it's just the relationship I have with my kids but we joke alot. My oldest is also 11 and the other day I noticed he smelled BAD. I looked at him and just told him "Little dude, you stink! Where is that deoderant that the school gave you?" and we both started cracking up. At least the schools in our district kind of open that door around 5th grade so he'd already known smelling bad was in his future. Apparently my 8 year old has been using all the deoderant provided by the school because he thinks he's a ladies man and wants to smell good...lol. We went to Target the next day to pick a deoderant my oldest wanted (off limits to the ladies man) and it was kind of a fun trip. I think he liked the fact it felt grown up.

My son is just about to turn 14 and hewas 11-12 when the body odor started to hit. He and his sister like to go shopping with me, so one trip, I went down the deoderant isle with his sister (who is 4 years older and needed some too) and after my daughter got hers, I asked him, "So, would you like to pick one out?" And he looked at me and asked if he needed it, and I looked at him and whispered in his ear that it would probably be a good idea. He nodded, picked one out, at we went with it. Now, at 13/14, he is good about it.

We didn't really have an issue with it. I just treated it like a normal thing to do and a normal thing on my list and we went with it. No embarrassment or anything. I think the less "pressure or worry" you show about it the easier it will be.

As for the anti-persperant issue...I have no idea but since my son plays sports, I really like him wearing it - if you know what I mean. :)

Dear Y P,
Definitely let your son use deodorant.
I have a 13 year old son of my own so I am around boys all the time. They can be devilishly stinky little creatures.
My son has been "using" deodorant since he was quite little. But keep in mind that he has a sister that's 10 years older. If she got deodorant, he had to have some too.
My son and his friend, Logan, particularly like the Old Spice Body Wash. It can be used as shampoo too. It smells really good and clean. I even use it sometimes. Last year at Christmas, they both got some in their stockings along with new tooth brushes, toothpaste hair gel, deodorant, nail clippers, etc. My son has a shaving kit that he keeps his things in which makes it really convenient for traveling.

I would like to say that girls go through the same thing. One of my friends daughters just refused to shower. (A guy was telling me the other day he was going through the same thing with his 12 year old daughter). My friend's daughter wouldn't listen to her mom or dad. They tried being nice, punishing her, everything. It just turned into a fight and she refused. So, I got a little basket and filled it with all kinds of shampoos and soaps and deodorants and hair pretties. Then I had a little talk with her. Just the two of us. (We're not related by blood, but we may as well be. I'm basically her aunt). She always wanted me to braid or style or cut her hair, in fact I just did her hair for her high school graduation, but what really got to her was me saying that I would no longer do her hair under any circumstances unless she was completely showered and clean first....from the top of her head to her toe nails. My son was there everyday after school while I worked and she knew I would be there to get him. If she wanted her hair done, she was clean as a whistle and waiting for me. A couple of years ago, she did develop a reaction under her arms to regular deodorant so now she uses a natural type that they buy right at their local grocery market.
I guess I'm lucky because I was never able to keep my kids OUT of the shower. But as you know, there is nothing like a smelly little boy after a basketball tournament. Even if he showered beforehand. Whew!
You don't have to make a big deal out of it, just buy him his own stuff. I would always say to my son...."Did you wash? Did you actually use soap? Come here and let me smell you."
Now when he gets out of the shower, he'll say, "Mom...smell my hair. Smell my armpits. Take a nice big whiff." He gets the biggest kick out of making me smell his armpits, and as long as they are clean, I am happy to oblige.

My 4th grade teacher, Sr. Jean Louise used to say, "you guys need to wear deorderant. It's time - I can smell you." So at age 10, I and the rest of my class started wearing deorderant. When I look back on 4th grade that's one of my fond memories becuase we thought she was joking at first. Now looking back I feel sorry for her - we must have stank big time. So thanks for your post and making me remember those good times. My kids are a little younger, but I'm probably only a year or so out of deorderant for my daughter, so hopefully I'll remember come 4th grade.

If your son doesn't like conventional deorderant brands, there are some organic/natural brands that are pretty good too.

Be sure that you research spray on (aerosol - sp?) deoderants before you let your child use them. Over use of these can cause health problems.

B.O. is just a fact of life. Nothing to be embarrassed about, so I think you should be able to mention it to him. Daily shower plus deodorant or anti-perspirant usually does the trick, and it should be safe. If you worry about safety just try the deodorant.

Either you or your husband should talk to your son before school starts, otherwise someone at school will tell him and that might be more embarassing.

Hi, The news is that your son has crossed the threshold into adolescence and will need to use underarm deodorant from now on. If he doesn't already bathe or shower every day, he should do that too. The body-odor is just the beginning of it - soon he'll get hair in new places, pimples and he'll begin to act like a teenager.

Better you get him started on it now; you wouldn't want his friends to start calling him stinky, right?

Cut a lemon or lime in half and pass it over his body, especially under his armpits just before he takes shower twice a week.

Hi YP,

They say the cause of body odor is lack of water. Without enough water our body can not flush the toxins out.
Anti-perspirants are not good. If you use a deodorant use a natural one.

Hope this helps.

N. Marie

Yes... go to the cosmetic data base... and search for some good ones... then have him pick his favorite...

I laughed when someone wrote their teacher said it was time to use deoderant...

I remember when my teacher did the same thing... She literally stood in front of the class and said... ok kids... you're all hitting puberty... and your body will start making more odors... and I gotta tell you... there are some of you that have almost made me pass out... please take the time to use deoderant...

Also, consider an antibacterial body wash maybe? And have a discussion what constitutes a good cleansing of the body... washing ALL the nooks and crannies... including the feet and inbetween the toes... (talk about how easy it is to catch althletes foot attn. to drying... and not bringing it up to the groin and such)... My MIL seems to think that all men have it.... GROSS!

For that matter... maybe dad can tell him about a few rites of passage here... how to stay clean... LOL..

Good luck... my boys are 3... I still have a while...

Explain to your son that he is growing up and that it's perfectly normal to need deodorant by his age. He may be happy to know that he is changing and starting to have adult, or teenage needs. I raised two sons, both of which were very active and started needing deodorant by age 11. Neither of my boys had any problems with using antiperspirants and or deodorants of any kind. The other problem that can occur if he doesn't start using deodorant, is that he will be teased by other kids which can lead to great embarrasssment for him.

Y P,

My son is 11, and began this whole process half-way through 5th grade last year.... He was the only boy in his class to need deoderant, voice changing, hair, acne, etc...

I have a wonderful husband/father, however, I also have an excellent relationship with my son. So, I chose to have a small "talk" with him myself. My husband had another talk after school was out to keep up with "the guy thing". If your husband isn't "graceful" with this, I would be present, or pre-coach your husband ....I did :o) it went MUCH smoother than it could've.

Anyway, I brought home deoderant, not the spray, and Stridex face pads. I simply told him that as kids grow older, their bodies begin to change a little. I told him he will learn alot of this stuff in school this year (last year-5th gr), but he's starting to grow up now. I also told him that his routine was going to change a little, because he now needed to make sure that he took a shower everyday with a hairwashing, as opposed to every other day. I also told him that he will start to get more "hair" in funny places :o), just ask daddy. I told him it could all feel weird at first, but try to go with it. All your friends will be doing the same thing in 6th grade, too.

Anyway, before the school year was over, he refused to wear shorts, even if it was 104 outside! I never asked, but I know it was because of his hairy legs :o)

When we started swimming this summer, he would walk around with his elbows tightly touching his sides. I guess he afraid that we might see HAIR!!!!!!! Again, I never said anything.

We are nearing toward the end of the summer, and he is finally comfortable again with his body. He's back to walking around in his underwear :o) It only took a year!

Anyway, back to deoderant :o) It's just the beginning. Make your son feel normal. I started hugging more~ yes, even though he didn't hug/kiss back. But, now, he hugs me back, and kisses me goodnight, and last night as I was leaving his room, he said "I love you, mom" :o) So, in the end, we are both winning :o)

Good Luck

:o) N.

Y P , Hi I know this is a situation where you don't want to make your son feel awkward. He may feel more uncomfortable if a teacher or peer says something to him! I know at our school, 5th & 6th grade teachers discuss using deoderant with the students. Maybe you could just tell him you are going shopping for necessities and ask if ther is a kind of deoderant the guys are using these days. I'd try to approach it from a "you're getting to be that age" instead of "I smell you." Good luck! I too have an 11 year old!

Now is the time for deodorant....period

Dear YP,

When my brothers were growing up, my father would approach them in situations like this, sort of a "man-to-man" thing. Perhaps your husband could handle this one, pointing out that your son is growing up and, like shaving, etc., it another thing that a man has to do. Perhaps your son will adopt the habit more readily if he thinks of it as a "manly" thing to do.
Good luck!

J.

Hi! I would tell him that it means he's on his way to becoming a man...and sweat happens to everyone, especially in the summer. I have been aware of a product for some time but just started trying it a couple months ago. It is called "Le Crystal Naturel". No Aluminum Chlorohydrate, hypoallergenic, fragrance free, non-staining, no white residue, natural mineral salts. Basically it's salt-on-a-stick...is domed shape at the top and rolls up from a cylindar. You dip it under the faucet to release the salt and put it on. I really like it. Got it in the beauty supply store in Almaden plaza in San Jose (intersection is Almaden and Blossom Hill; across from CostCo). I'm sure they have it other places but I don't remember seeing it in grocery stores or Longs/Walmart. One stick is supposed to last about a year.

My 11 year-old started using deoderant at 8 years old. Both my boys started puberty early and got the stink right away. My 7 year old is already using deoderant. When they get the stink on them, they don't even know it, but they think it is funny. I'm a single mom, so I started them on it as soon as I started smelling them. With boys, it sometimes takes a while to become a habit, so you should probably get him to start now.

I used to be a teacher's assistant for 5th grade and let me tell you when you have 25 plus "tweens" come in from recess oh my god would it stink. The teacher would say to them "Remember deodorant is your best friend". I am not sure of any health risks, but you don't want your son to be the "stinky" one. I know they have teen deodorant for girls I am sure they have it for boys. It is time....They grow up so fast.

My 11 yr old son uses Tom's Natural Deodorant. I get it at Trader Joe's, but recently saw it at Safeway.

I approached him at age 10 and explained some of the normal changes he will be going through. I told him body odor is a result of changing hormones, eventually these hormones lead to hair under his arms, but probably in his pubic area first, and above his lip. Lo and behold - pubic hair arrived this year.

I bought a couple of books recently, as I tend to be more detail oriented than my hubby with such subjects (good luck):

God's Design for Sex, found at: http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product?item...

Not So Stupid Questions About Your Body, found at: http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/easy_find/84...

~ Mom of 4: 18, 11, 6 and baby on the way!

Yep, now is the time to instill those daily habits that will keep him sweet and clean! He is maturing, so all of this is a lead in to the young man he will become. Anti perspirants are definately ok for boys, I'm a mom of 3, and they all used/use them by age 8!

Good Luck! E.

I have an 11-year-old with the exact same issue! We bought some "natural" deoderant at Trader Joe's without the aluminum. OUr son had just watched the family life video and learned a little bit more about "growing up" so we explained to him that this is just a part of that process. He's totally fine with it now and the deoderant is part of his daily routine. It's helped a lot! :)

Tell him he's getting older and now it's time for deodorant. You don't have to tell him that you have been able to smell him so he won't feel self-conscious. My grandson who is also 11 is now using deodorant and he likes feeling like he's growing up. I don't think it's going to be as big a deal as you seem to think. Your son will see it as a passage into manhood and will probably be thrilled. And he might have smelled himself by now and just not said anything. You certainly want to nip this in the bud before some of his friends start telling him he smells or worse yet, make him the brunt of some pretty mean jokes!

My 7y.o. has BO issue. Unfortunately I have to share her with her father, who could care less about her diet. BO is caused by combo of hormones, dehydration, and gets worse with high fat diets. She is my carbohydrate queen. Days of the week spent with me, we eat lots of vegi's fruit, protien, etc. She hates that I am so strict with her diet, but I have to try to balance with her dad's lack of understanding about poor diet. I started having her use the "Tom's" natural deodorant. It works pretty well.

Most kids are given some kind of "my body is changing" talk in school in 5th grade so I am sure he knows all about deodorants. I would get him a deodorant not an anti-perspirant, so he will still be sweaty but not as stinky. I used to teach 5th grade and the smell after recess could have knocked me out! He will probably feel grownup. Have your husband hand it to him and you stay out of it. :)

There is a natural crystal stick that he could use that I used for years on my daughters feet when she was a toddler and then when she became a teenager, it controls body odor without closing the pores. I've read studies which show a very strong corrolation to breast cancer and anti-perpirants.

DEar YP,
I don't have suggestion for product, but approach. I would have your husband do it. Make it all about being a man and real men sweat and how proud he is of his real man, etc.... Then show him the deodorant how to use it. Then there isn't any feelings of some thing being wrong with him. I did this with my girls, but how a ladie wants to smell her best all the time and this was how we did it. Worked great. Good luck.
Stac

I too started to smell my son's body odor at about age 10 1/2. I did have him start using deoderant and the first one bothered him so I went out and found a natural one that doesn't seem to bother him. There is Tom's of Maine which is a little higher but then I found another one that seems to be ok. I also had him start showering with a deoderant soap which seems to help. My son is a little on the bigger side also so that doesn't help either, he isn't fat just huskier than some kids. He plays all sports and sweats a lot.
I hope this helps. Let me know if you need anything else.
M. Magni
I have 2 boys 10 & 12.

Have you ever tried looking up products on http://www.cosmeticsdatabase.com? If you're concerned about what they put into the deodorants, you can look it up there. We looked up all our health and beauty products and then kinda wished we never found the website. Ha! Good luck.

He should definitely use deodorant, IMO. You can present it very nicely... "Wow, you are really growing up because you are starting to get underarm odor. Grown ups wear deodorant, and you need to start wearing it now, too". With my girls, (now 13 and 16) we made it into a funny thing. If I could smell them, I'd wave my hand in front of my nose and say, "Whew, I smell a cheeseburger! You'd better go use a diaper wipe under your arms and then put on deodorant." If our kids don't address the odor issue, they will become less popular. I wouldn't want a kid with body odor visiting my house, and I know that my kids avoid other kids with body odor at school and church. As for carpooling with a kid with body odor -- Ewww!! Again, if presented as a "growing up" thing, he'll be proud to wear it! S.

maybe your husband can have a man to man talk with him instead of you and say hey just wanted you to know that when men turn about 10 - 12 they sweat more and that causes smelly armpits and can stain your clothes so lets go get some deodorant.....just an idea

I think it is important to have your son use a deoderant for social reasons - I had a not great underarm smell in puberty and it causes lowered self-esteem and embarrassment (at least it did in me). I am not 100% certain, but I believe it is the ingredients in the antiperspirant portion (wetness control) that are believed by some to be not healthy, not the "deoderant" portion which improves the smell but not the wetness. My hubby has sensitive skin and uses a Toms of Maine deoderant and he likes it and it is "natural". Good luck. :o)

don;t use an anti persperant, just a deorderant- they are less chemical and you do not want to stop him from sweating, just smelling, try speed stick or old spice deoderant

It's so thoughtful of you to not want to make him self-conscious.

When my son was that age I explained to him that he was growing up and his body was changing, and part of that was his sweat glands were getting more active, like mine and Dad's. Like us, he needed to shower every morning, and pay special attention to washing under his arms (and everywhere). He resisted a little at first, but on the other hand there is this pride in growing up. A while later I got his an unscented natural deoderant (Jason, Tom's of Maine, MiEssence Organic) I'd stay away from anti-perspirants! Chemicals and it is actually beneficial to sweat.

My daughter is at that very first phase now, and I am telling her the same thing. Of course unlike my son she WANTS deoderant :-)

Just have a talk with him and tell him that as he gets older and is turning from little boy to a man body odor can increase making it necessary to shower 1-2 times a day and use deodorant. It is safe for children and is much needed as they get an indescibable odor.

YP, Have dad discuss this with his son...it's a man thing and you are fortunate enough to have a wonderful man.

There is also a couple of soaps that are good for body oder (Irish Spring and Dial).

Blessings

Try walking into a classroom of kids this age in the hot
weather, it does not smell nice at all. Especially if the majority forgot to use their deodarant that day, which is
common. So, take him to where ever you buy that type of item from and let him pick out his favorite scented one.
Just be warned, if you or dad have sensitive skin he might also, so watch for reactions. Your sons teacher and classmates will appreciated you for it later. W.