Twin 2-Year-olds, 3-Month-old, Now Pregnant Again...

Rip the band aid off and tell him. Then make a plan. It is what it is, so how are you and DH going to juggle another kiddo?

My sister got pregnant right after enrolling in a new degree program. I think sometimes school breeds kids. ;)

Tell him, Tell family, come up with a new budget and a new plan.
I suggest day care/play dates/or groups where you offer each other frequent respit are in order. I suggest baby wearing (cloth style) and getting the twins in a more independant mode of play/living. I suggest you wallow if you need that but limit the time allowed and you will not need it any more. Keep up with doctor's appointments and be on the look out for PPD or depression of any form - can easily creep up when we feel overwhelmed. Honestly it takes a village - time to get your village in gear!

I started out with a stepson and then had 3 boys in 33 mos. Now, I have a 9 yr old stepson, 6 year old, 5 year old and 3 year old. I enrolled in school last July to start this January to complete my bachelor's degree also..I found out I was pregnant at the end of October. At one time, I had 3 in diapers, so I can somewhat sympathize. I had originally planned to go fulltime in the fall (2012), now I am going to take one class. I can't imagine taking a full load, having a newborn (baby is due in July), and having 4 kids at 3 different schools- all at the same time! If I were you, I would probably either take a semester off from school or drop down to one class. School will always be there- your kids will eventually be old enough that you can go back and concentrate more on school. Also, I'm not sure if your twins are barely 2 or almost 3, but you could attempt to get them potty trained before the baby arrives. Its not unheard of for toddlers to be potty trained at 2- my youngest was! That would take a little bit of the pressure off of you! Congrats and good luck!

Take things one day at a time. Have as much fun as you can. Get your "village" in order meaning all helpful hands on deck. Have sitters in the wings for when you need a break and take breaks. We all need refreshing. You can't be superwoman but do the best you can and cut yourself some slack for when you fall short. Heck we all do.

Lavish the kids with love, affection and attention but don't leave yourself out.

This comes from someone who had six kids in the house from 7 and under. So I know what I'm talking about.

Congratulations on your new addition.

Take one day at a time......Good luck and Congrats!

Bless your heart! It will all work out... have faith and it will all settle in in a few days. I'm sending prayers and support!

{{hugs}}

You're in a very large metropolitan area, so start hunting now for, at a minimum, a "mother's helper" -- a younger teen or responsible tween who can come to the house X hours a week mostly to play with the twins while you deal with the babies. If you can time this helper so he or she (let's say...she) can come when the infant is napping, all the better (I'm assuming here you won't get four kids to nap simultaneously....) because then you would be able to focus just on the youngest infant once he or she is born.

I say a helper "at a minimum" because you and your husband might want to bite the bullet and get an older kid, maybe a college age kid or young adult, to be a regular babysitter. Not a nanny full-time unless you could afford or want that -- I'm talking here about a sitter who comes, perhaps, for a fixed number of hours a day, Monday through Friday. Decide whether you want this person to occupy some of the children so you have time just to interact with the others; or whether you want this person to do chores while you are with the kids instead. You'll need to work that out, or you will run into issues if you hire the person to "babysit" and she or he ends up doing chores and resenting it, so get your priorities clear up front. A combination of chores and kid time is fine as long as you're both clear on what is expected.

With four kids all under three, all in diapers, all needing help with everything, you would do very well to go ahead and spend the money on some form of daily help for either sitting or chores. Also an option is to hire a housecleaning service to handle that side of things, if money permits, so you have less on your plate. And even with a housecleaner I'd still try to find at least some hours a week of mother's helper time or babysitter time.

Be sure that household chores (laundry for four kids and two adults, meals, shopping, cleaning) do NOT become your focus. I've seen so many posts on here where moms are just desperately unhappy and angry and resentful because they have little kids and a husband who works and the mom ends up doing most or all of the household chores - the mom's focus becomes "When do I fold laundry? How will I clean the bathrooms? The floors are always dirty!" Plenty of posts like that, where the house is the priority. And the kids get very little play time with either parent, or the dad gets to be fun dad while mom stews that she is always doing chores and never rests or has fun with the kids. Plan now for ways to avoid that marriage-damaging scenario.

You can do this, I'm sure, but your husband has to be on board 100 percent with making this work and with getting you outside help. It's not an admission of weakness to say "We are going to hire a helper/sitter/housecleaner."

Wow, you have a lot going on, especially as I read your other post. I had a 2 year old when my twins were born and I was completely overwhelmed, especially because I had no family help other than my husband. It did help to find a mother of multiples group; these are women who completely understand what it's like, and some of them have higher-order multiples and can give tips on juggling 4 in diapers at once. Just Google Dallas mothers of multiples; there are several groups. Referring to your other post, if your hubby won't "let" you get on the pill after this baby, go to Planned Parenthood if you have to; or if your college has a student health center, you may be able to go there as well. You can also consider options other than the pill, if your husband won't cooperate. It is h*** o* your body to have only a few months between pregnancies.

Most days (sometimes hourly) I pray, "God give me the strength to get through this day."

Congratulations mama. It will indeed work out.

Hi Candence,

Welcome! I hope that you find the moms here helpful and nice. I have and they can be great support whenever you need it. :)

As for your question....Breathe. Take some time to yourself to think about how you feel about this pregnancy, what you are afraid/excited/however you feel. Journal about it and when you are ready, tell your husband. As for birth control---breastfeeding doesn't prohibit fertilization-so, now you know and will have a beautiful blessing next year.

Do you have any girlfriends or mom or family member you can talk to? Even a therapist could help you process this---there are pregnancy counseling centers that can help you with your feelings. I hope this helps~~ You are not alone-

Take care,

M

Twin 2 year olds and a 3 month old sounds scary enough to me so if you are all surviving in life now I cant see you not being able to find the time, resources, energy, space, money, etc for this new one. Im sure all will be just fine but I would tell your husband sooner than later so that you are not left with this overwhelming feeling alone
Good luck and Congrats

I can't relate at all, since I have to opposite problem. (failing miserably at getting pregnant)

All I can say is have faith and don't forget to breath. Everything will work out how it's supposed to be.

I agree with others when they say to tell your husband sooner rather than later. I'm not sure I agree with cutting back on school (unless you feel you need to), if you're close to getting your bachelors degree and it will help you get a good/better paying job it would probably be worth it to stick it out.

I would also suggest that if you haven't started working on potty training do so, if the twins are at all ready. My sis in-law got pregnant 2 or 3 months after having her daughter and now at the age of 3 the child still isn't potty trained. (could be lack of effort, but you'll be lacking effort and time with 2 infants to care for).

Also if you aren't using cloth diapers at least at home. It might be time to start (more work, less overall money).

Things will work out. Congrats!

Sweet girl, you have a lot on your plate. I suggest trying to find a church, mom's group, playgroup or anything that will allow you to put your babies in a safe nursery setting and allow you to have time with other adults. It seems it would be especially important to find a group that wouldn't make your husband defensive. Just do your best to keep yourself and your babies in a loving and safe place, you sound like you really love your husband and I hope that the two of you can work it out as partners. Good luck and God bless you!

I think I would postpone the schooling until a better time. Maybe you can do it but I don't think I would want to. I know sort of how you feel but not entirely. I was also pregnant when my first one was 3 months old and he'd been a preemie and was barely due yet. It was a shock but it all worked out fine. My husband was in college, not me, but it was not easy for quite some time. I am so glad it happened like that now though. The kids were so close and so much fun and playing with them and watching them play was so wonderful but it was also a lot of work. The oldest wasn't walking when the second was born so I had two to carry, etc. Our oldest son had a 14 month old and then twins so he got paid back for all he did during that time he was little. :-) They managed too. I think if you don't think about the hard times to come until they come it's so much easier. Go a day at a time. When my kids were little I had no car, until the 8th was born, so I had friends that were 'phone friends' that really helped me so much as they had little ones too and we could laugh and joke about the calamities. Find someone to be there for and with you too. Your 2 year old twins will be 3 then and so much better playing and doing on their own, the baby will be walking or soon after and I know it will work out. You are blessed so remember to go a day at a time. Tell your husband and he will be a support too. I can still hear my husband saying 'But we HAVE a baby. A tiny baby!' It was a shock but one he got over very quickly.