My twins are having a joint 7th b-day party in a few weeks. A couple of the kids being invited are friends with both of them and a few only really know one or the other. How do I handle the present situation? Can I put on the invite "Please only bring a present for ______". There are 7 invitees total so not an even split and I know the mom's of at least a couple of those girls will want to bring a present for each twin because they know them so well. On the flip side, I know one of the families is really struggling to get by and I would hate to see them buy gifts for both girls.
Last year wasn't really an issue as they each just invited one friend because we were doing something more costly.
Moms of twins, how do you handle birthday presents?
Thank you very much!
Thanks ladies! I am getting the tacky message loud and clear! I was hesitant to say anything. I guess I have had a hard time simply because I didn't want people to feel obligated to buy two gifts. On the other hand, they are two separate people... As many of you suggested, I think I will just let the cards fall as they may and leave it up to the families on how they want to handle it. We will talk to our girls ahead of time so that they handle it all graciously. Doing it this way also takes the stress out of it for me! Thanks for your input!
I have twin 7 year old boys. I wouldn't really address it at all. Let each guest decide how they want to do it. I have found that most people will buy two less expensive gifts as opposed to one more costly gift which is always fine by me. If there are an uneven amount of gifts then let them tear into it together or wait and open gifts after the party as many are doing today and handle it in private if there is any issues.
I would send the invite from the twin that knows the guest. And to the families who know both twins send the invite from both twins. Don't mention gifts, people are smart enough to do what they want to do. You could mention on the invite that this is a joint party though.
The last time we were at a twin party, we knew both kids and got two presents. If you have a mixed guest list, you might say something like, "Double gifts are not necessary. We understand our girls are individuals and have individual friends" or something like that. Or you could have the invites written up so that the mutual friends get "Come to Jill and Jane's party!" and the others get "Come to Jill" or "Come to Jane's" party.
I wouldn't say anything about gifts at all and leave it up to the parents' discretion how much they can afford or want to bring and who they are bringing it for.
I wouldn't open gifts as part of the party since there is an uneven amount. Instead, have the girls open the gifts after the party and take pictures. Include a picture of the girl(s) with the gift as part of the thank-you note.
My daughter attended a birthday party for sisters who are 2 years apart but have birthdays just a few days apart. My daughter was friends with both girls, but not everyone at the party was. They did not open gifts and we received a neat picture of both girls hold up what we bought them in our thank-you card. It was very nicely done. We don't have a lot of money but we managed to find great gifts for both girls.
Good luck!
I wouldn't mention anything at all about gifts on the invite, just let people decide for themselves. I actually think it's considered poor etiquette to mention anything about gifts on an invite even though you have good intentions, but maybe I'm wrong. I also wouldn't worry about saying anything to the family that is struggling, again they can decide for themselves. We always manage to find and buy nice inexpensive gifts. Don't worry about the gifts, have a great time!
Twins in our family and I wouldn't put it on the invitation but would speak personally with the family you know is struggling, and any others you feel would appreciate knowing. I'm guessing anyone who can would like to bring something for each of them.
Say nothing OR you can discuss with the twins a donation option for a gift where a family donates to a cause in their name. Either way I think bringing up gifts can be seen as tacky. We have twins in the family and whatever happens happens to be honest.
I remember my friend's sister was friends with twins wen we were younger. Each girl would hand out the invitations to the friends they were inviting, even if they each gave one to the same friend. Then the parent would know which (or both) girl to get a gift for.
We just received in invite to a "family" party, they have 5 kids with bdays all close together, so they throw one large party a year. My friend is going to email us if we RSVP yes and tell us "which kid" invited our family, even if our kids are friends with multiple kids in the family. I don't find this tacky at all.
I would just buy 2 cheap gifts rather than one gift (say $10 per girl).
I do not think its tacky to mention gifts in a party invitation. Just as guests expect to be fed, gifts are an expectation, too.
I sounds like you haven't handed out invites yet, so you have a chance to float some ideas.
I'd probably create 3 slightly different invitation wordings based on who the invitee. One invite that names BOTH girls as the birthday girls, and one each naming just ONE twin.
I'd avoid actually TELLING anyone who to bring a gift for, because it's tacky to demand they bringing a gift at all.
Really, you could probably just send the joint invitations and let people do what they want regarding gifts... might be a good idea to SKIP gift opening AT the party to avoid any embarrassment and just be sure to send thoughtful thank you notes RIGHT AWAY.
HTH
T.
do a no-present party, or don't mention it all and let the guests decide.
khairete
S.
Can you word the invitation so that it only mentions the twin that each family knows? So Sally's friends would be invited to Sally's birthday, Betty's friends would be invited to Betty's birthday, and both twins' friends would be invited to Sally and Betty's birthday. I know one family who did that for their kids' joint birthday party, although the kids weren't twins. It's a little weird, because I assume everyone knows that your kids are twins, but it would let at least the one friend you're worried about off the hook for the second present. Otherwise, I would just not worry about it. They'll do what they can.
I don't have twins, but my kids are two days apart, and when they were younger we often had big pool parties for both kids. I would send invites to my daughter's friends saying they were invited to her party and invites to my son's friends saying they were invited to his party. So, most didn't even realize they were both celebrating and didn't feel obligated to bring two gifts. And then the family invites would invite them to celebrate both kids - because they'd of course bring gifts for both. I don't know if that will work for you, but you could try.
My SIL has twins and I think one time she did invites and split them in half and wrote "B" has invited you to their party or "S" has invited you to their party, so that they got the idea of who invited them and who to buy for.
I think that you should let them figure out how or even IF to spend their money. Also, any mention would presume that they are buying gifts, and that's a turn-off. Grown-ups should know how to ask when they have questions.
