*UPDATED* Grade School Drama Too... This Is Beyond Bullying. >:(

So you have evidence of the bullying and the principal still didn't do anything to fix the situation? My blood is boiling! Take the advice of some others who have said you should march into the principal's office and tell him if the situation isn't rectified TODAY, that you will be back tomorrow with the police and a news crew and then DO IT. There is no reason why in this day and age that this should be happening. I would also get the Superintendent involved ASAP. Drop those buzz words like people have suggested. That usually gets the superintendent moving.

Go to the Superintendent of the schools and let him know if this child isn't removed from their school you will not only file a civil suit against her parents but will also take all this info the the local news station.

Not only is this unacceptable behavior n a child but the behavior of the school staff too.

Go back to the principal and ask for a status update. If no progress, go to the superintendent...go today.

Also, you can try getting their number via the internet but I would wait on that...go the official route for now.

I would call the principal to say you are hiring a lawyer and that you are giving the school courtesy notice that you will be escalating the issue of harassment if the situation is not resolved in 10 days time. Follow-up with a letter that states the same, to the principal and cc the superintendent.

That's a HUGE bunch of BS. You tell that principal that if this isn't resolved ASAP then you are going to the Superintendent, the school board and the police if necessary! Your neice has a right to go to school without dealing with this BS!

Hi M.,

First of all let me say how sorry I am for your niece's pain. You are a great aunt for standing up for her.

The school administration are idiots (sorry for being so blunt, but their job is to protect and educate each child equally and at this they are failing miserably) and need to be dealt with accordingly. You will need to take it up a couple notches.

Check out your school district's/county's anti-bullying policy online. Nearly every school has one. Also check into their education department's "statement of purpose" or "mission statement." There will definitely be language in there about "equal access to education," "safe place to learn," and the like. Then draft yourself a nice letter about how your niece is being denied an education because of the bullying and harassment. Definitely use "denied access to education" and "harassment." If need be take her to her pediatrician re. the nightmares and document that too. Send a letter--it must be in writing, and if you send it certified they will really wet their pants--to the principal and CC your school's superintedent. Also threaten that you will make this a civil matter (i.e. sue the girl's parents in civil court) if the school doesn't act.

How do I know so much about this? My daughter was bullied horribly in the 5th grade also, by a girl who was jealous of her. I sat the principal down --after sending a similar letter-- and told him this was the first and last time he would be speaking to me. The next time my daughter was threatened physically (because it was physical), I would be sending a patrol car to the school and to the girl's home. This was sure to cause him major embarrassment that he couldn't handle his business at school, and being the understanding person that I am, I wanted to spare him that.

Funny, but that bully never bullied my kid again : ) Wishing you and your beautiful niece all the best! S.

PS forgot to add--because I am so mad!!!--that you need the sitdown with the principal immediately after the letter. I would make him move the OTHER girl, because your niece has done nothing wrong. I demanded the bully in my daughter's class be moved as well as she had to stay 10 yards away from my kid at all times. LOL!

My first thought is that she ought to kick that girl in the butt with her prothesis, but yep that would be wrong.
You should be able to find the superintendent of schools in your phone book and give them a call and let them know the school is dropping the ball. Those horrible words from that bully girl means she's got some real emotional problems that need to be put in check.
As for your niece, just let her know that the bully girl is a miserable human being and not to let her get to her. I'm sure no one else likes the new girl much either except for some other mean, miserable girls.

My heart aches for your niece!

First of all this bully became 'Miss It' because of the fact that she is 2 years older than the other girls. SHAME on your niece's friends for being so transparent.

I was born with Cerebral Palsy. When I walk I limp. When I'm tired I limp. My feet are 2 different sizes so I have to buy 2 different sets of shoes. I know how it hurts to be judged.

There are four things to remind your niece of:
1. her parents loved her
2. she is able to walk. Yes she has a prostetic, but she could be paralyzed and in a wheelchair or need lifetime crutches.
3. she is not alone
4. the bully is jealous of your niece because of the fact that your niece was able to be popular while she has a disability.

For your niece's confidence, maybe there is a support or activities group for kids with disablitiles. Getting her around other kids that won't judge her, maybe she'll find a best friend that can relate.

For the school, I would contact a lawyer. Your niece's right to a safe education are being violated. Go to the school and hang out with her for a day.

Oh that makes my blood boil. If I were you it would take every bit of restraint I have not to follow that girl home from school to find her parents' contact info. But that's probably stalking...

What are the bullying laws in your state? Massachusetts has very clean anti-bullying laws and the inaction that you are getting from the school just wouldn't happen here anymore because it's flat out illegal. Definitely go to the superintendent, I wouldn't even bother with the principal now. And then if that doesn't work, go to the police and file a harassment complaint. That'll get you in touch with the parents ;)

In the meantime, reach out to your niece's friends' parents and be sure to let them know what is happening. I'm sure that if they knew about the situation, they would do what the can to encourage their daughters to behave themselves, avoid following blindly along with new mean girl and resume their old friendships. We have a girl like this in my kids' 7th grade class - she bounces from school to school and when she gets thrown out of the school in her mom's town, she comes back here to live with her grandparents and goes to school here for a while, then the cycle repeats. When she's here, she wreaks havoc so we parents make sure that we're keeping tabs on things and are actively working to prevent this girl's drama from ruining the other kids' friendships.

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As a PR professional, I would say go to the superintendent (call the district office) and if you don't get results, go to the local media. I guarantee you if you get a good reporter on this story -- either through the newspaper or a TV station -- you will finally see corrective action against the bully. Just make sure your niece is ok with the media attention. The end result will be a whole lot of support from the community for your niece.

pursue resolution & don't let the school drop the ball....

transferring is not an option....then your niece would be without the security of what she's had these past 3 years.....& the odds are she'd be the new kid who's picked on.

don't try confronting the parents, let the school handle it. Ask for the counselor to step in.....& if you don't reach resolution thru the principal - clearly state that you will take it to the superintendant.

Above all else, stay calm & work thru this without drama.

If I were you I would immediately retain a lawyer and drop a 900lb gorilla on the backs of that school, the principal and the superintendent of the district.

That is despicable, deplorable behavior. If the situation were different, I would pull her from the school. But since there were no problems prior to this new person then I would not walk away without a big fight. Your niece has been through so much already - I am horrified that anyone would treat her this way or allow her to be treated this way.

You might see if you can find Martha R. here today - she may have some good ideas too.

Good luck.

I would follow the proper chain of command. Also, I would pick the kids up from school to see if the other girl rides the bus or if her parents pick her up. If they pick her up then you could confront them then. I would not stop until something was done. Your family has suffered enough and this must stop before it gets worse. This is aweful that the school will not do anything about stopping this girl. Have you spoken with her teacher too?

Bluntly: This really sucks and I would do whatever I could to make it stop without transfering schools first. I would only use this as a last resort.

I wish you the best on this one.

The government provides a bullying resource website at www.stopbullying.gov. The main page has a link to info on bullying for kids and where to get help. To quote the page, "If your child is being bullied because of.....disability...and local help is not working to solve the problem, Contact the US Department of Education's office on Civil Rights." A hyperlink is provided (see here http://www.stopbullying.gov/topics/get_help/index.html)

Also, here is an article on federal law and Disability Harassment. http://www.netplaces.com/dealing-with-bullies/bullying-am...

As well, it's my understanding this situation is covered under the federal No Child Left Behind Act and if they DONT the school can lose it's federal funding. You may want to investigate the specifics of that and reference it in any correspondence to the administration.

I know you probably won't see this as you've already posted a response, and I don't have time to read all the responses. However, I have read about half and don't see this particular information highlighted. I do hope it's helpful.

Stuff like this just really gets my blood boiling!! It breaks my hear to think of something like this going on with one of my kids so i really sympathise with you. If the principal is not responding the way he should I would not hesitate to go to the superintenddant... where I live we have a central office where you can go to meet with him. This is TOTALLY unacceptable... TOTALLY!! It is not in my nature to be agressive or to draw attention to anything but if nothing happens after taking it as far within the school system as you can, i wouldnt hesitate to take it to the news... bullying is a major issue in schools now and maybe just maybe if that particular school and principal were pointed out for fostering the bullying they would get more serious about putting an end to it!!

You and your Neice and other children will be in my prayers!!

I agree with those who said to go today, immediately, to the superintendent. But first I'd tell the principal, in person , that you are going over his head to his boss and the school board today, this day, and you cannot let another 24 hours pass with your niece experiencing daily trauma. And I'd get the counselor on notice that there is serious trouble.

Also, is your niece in counseling (outside school) for what has been a difficult few years? I'd get her some right away but emphasize that it is NOT because SHE did anything wrong or bad. Your niece is potentially very fragile, having lost her parents and having to deal with a permanent physical issue, and this bullying is the kind that could push her into a serious depression or worse. She should not have to transfer schools because as another person noted, that upsets her support system and SHE is not the aggressor.

And be ready for the board/superintendent to kick your complaints right back to the school and principal. At that point I'd be clear that your next call will be to someone outside the system that the school won't want to hear from -- police, or an attorney. And follow up on that threat if you need to. Police may be reluctant to get involved unless there is physical aggression, but it can't hurt to see if they will come to the school for even a general talk about bullying, at your invitation.

It's tempting to call in the media but that puts your niece's story out there for the world, and may end up getting her bullied or teased by other kids, and she may not want to be identified for the entire community as "the orphan girl who lost a foot and got bullied." She's at a sensitive age and won't want the attention.

For any interactions you have with the teachers (who probably want this bully gone as much as you do but are sadly given no power to do anything real about her!), the principal, the board or superintendent or counselor, document everything, keep every e-mail (make paper copies too), make notes about every phone call and meeting. You may need it later.

The way a class bully was handled by my child's teacher was that the bully was seated at a desk that was actually practically attached to the teacher's desk, it was so close. The child did not sit in "blocks" with other kids. He spent much of each school day doing his classwork INSIDE the principal's office, not in the classroom, and he was watched like a hawk if he was permitted the privilege of recess with the rest of his class. But this was in first grade, not fifth, where the teachers are under so much more pressure. This worked for this kid, but a seasoned bully like a 12-year-old may blame your niece if she (the bully) is isolated like that, and could try to get to your niece and bully her worse. I wish I could offer more ideas. But the thought of your dear niece with one more day of this is horrible.

Yes, as others said, call all the parents of your niece's good friends and alert them and ask them to ensure their kids are supportive and don't follow this bully's lead. And set up play dates frequently with your niece's friends so she can be distracted and have fun.

Please update us here on Mamasource!

this brought tears to my eyes poor child! I would go to the school and demand that the bullying child be moved to a different class room and yes threaten to use the media! I also would make usre you have a good therapist for your DD she is going to need it to both handle this incident and the accident. Also they say that as long as the child has one good friend they usually do ok. Make sure you cultivate a best friend for your DD. And def consider school switch.. Good luck!

I don't have time to read all the responses so what I have to say may be repeated from other responses.

Don't give up...go above the principal and talk to whom ever is in charge of him/her, then the school board, and anyone else involved in the school.

Then just make your presence known....be there where ever that snotty little girl is...let her known that your niece is very much indeed loved and you will do everything possible to protect her.

Good luck!!!

I agree with the other moms that this requires action, dont give up.

My heart goes out to your poor neice. Losing your parents is rough, losing your foot on top of that, unbelievable! The fact that this little girl is callous enough to attack your daughter is beyond me.

When i was 8 my mother died of a heart attack and all my friends knew about it and there was no bad mouthing or anything, but just like your daughters situation an older girl was transferred to my school and started a rumor that my mom was a crack addict, and died in a drug deal (i guess our dare program gave her a wild imagination) Everyone i knew knew my mom and didnt care what the girl had to say, but i did. it made me sick that someone would talk about her like that. I stood up to girl, told her what i thought of her, and told her that she was evil. I did so with unshaking confidence. The girl never spoke to me, or about my mom again.

Thats my advice, help your niece to find her voice, give her the proper adjectives and insight to stand up for herself. Your daughter sounds very sweet and unfortunately sometimes sweet people lack the confidence to stand up to bullies, help her be both.

I would also do everything i could to find this girls parents and confront them face to face about their little monsters behavior. I would DIE of embarrassment if my daughter was up to 1/10 th of the poison this girl is up to.

I would email the principal, superintendent and cc to the news directors of the local TV and radio stations. I would also file a police report. The police department will talk to the bully and find out who her parents are and talk to them. You could also contact the local ACLU office. Because a school is a government entity the ACLU will sometimes intervene if they are not providing a safe place for a child to learn.
When you contact the media remind them of the accident that killed her parents, there must have been coverage of the accident and your neices recovery.
I just had another thought, if this bullying girls parents don't put a stop to her bullying you may have grounds to sue under a discrimanation suit.

"What you can do is send a certified letter to:
1) the principal
2) school district
3) the media
with all of the details plus the recording. This might be overboard, but should get their attention."

Sending a certified letter to at least the principal and the superintendent is a very good idea. Document the situation in detail as well as all related conversations with the teacher and the principal. Also, state very specifically what you expect to happen, which should be at the very least, immediate expulsion of the bully. However, I would not delay. I would go to the principal today, before the end of the day and insist action be taken. If immediate action is not taken, I would excuse your niece from school and let them know that you will take this matter up with the superintendent and until a resolution has been achieved, your niece will be doing her school work at home.

I haven't read all the responses so forgive me if I repeat.

You have to step it up and go higher up the ladder.

I am so sorry for your neice. That is beyond bullying... If you can press any charges DO IT.

My daughter 16 is bullied online and threatened at school... popular girl, cheer co-captain, nice clothes, car, house, honors classes and we have 2 outstanding police reports. I am just waiting on someone to make a move.

We went through the police dept liason at the school and went on to the local police dept. Our house was vandalized twice and ever since the kids believe we have cameras and KNOW there is a police report, we've not been vandalized.

My daughter parks her car in front of the video camera at school. Just yesterday she asked me to take her to and from school again because she was threatened in the parking lot. Since it is Spring Break, I can't do much right now, however, I will be at the school police liason's office Monday morning.

My thoughts are with you and your neice. Bless you for helping her.

Take this above the school level to the district level and even to your local media. This is beyond unacceptable. I understand that yes name-calling is sadly a part of childhood however given the circumstances your niece is in I would not play nice and make a lot of noise in regards to what is going on. I'm not saying to engage in slander of course but rather matter-of-fact state what is really going on.

I like N L's suggestion about reaching out to the parents of your niece's friends. Maybe just start by casually asking if their girls talk to them about the bully. Explain to them what's been going on. It will likely start conversations between them and their daughters, which will hopefully lead to the girls supporting your niece more and turning their backs on the bully/ not following her lead. I also agree that the school is NOT doing enough, and that you need to "bug" them until something is done. Definitely contact the superintendent and explain that a severe bullying situation is taking place and your efforts to work with the school have failed. I am so sorry that your niece is experiencing this.. she has been through enough!

Let me say 1st, I am so sorry for all your neice has gone through and is currently going through. There is something not normal about a girl who can say such cruel things to someone.

Yes, definately contact the superintendant. I would imagine the number should be listed under the district listing. You could try a google search, especially if you already know the superintendant's name. Or, if you don't want to call the school where your daughter goes, you could call the middle or high school in the same district and ask them for the #.

If the superintedant does not take care of this situation, I would find another school and check what their bullying policy is first. Is a private school an option? My children go to Catholic school, and they don't tolerate that sort of thing. A private school can more easily expel a child than a public school.

Also, If she hasn't already, you might want to consider having her see a child psycologist since she has been through an awful lot. It might help her to be able to cope with everything.
I hope this helps, and I wish you and your neice a happy outcome :)

Switch schools! This is horrible. You could also, I bet, register to "homeschool" thru the end of the year, and start fresh somewhere else next fall. I really think this is serious and the more days it goes on, the more it's going to have a long term effect on your niece.

Pretty much cried through your whole post. My heart hurts for you guys. Call the police, go up to the school everyday. DEMAND something be done! Go sit in the class with her! I cannot believe the school is not doing anything! I will pray and pray and pray that this gets better for you! I am so sorry!

In total agreement with Laurie As answer. and wow-this poor little girl. my heart breaks for her. And what a testimony to the cruelness of children that the other kids would let this happen knowing her story.

Man! I am so disappionted about the way the school is handling this...Hugs and smiles to you and your niece. Make sure you let us know how you managed to get this resolved. the only thing I would suggest is to ask your niece who(her friends) witnessed the girl bullying her at that time and write down the friends name for later reference, the tape recorder Idea was really smart.

Hugs and smiles!

Oh M., my heart goes out to your niece. You are such a great Aunt! I would go to the superintendent as well as the school board. Make copies of the audio tape and send it to every board member and let them know the principal isn't doing anything about it. I would also contact your local police see if you can have some harassment charges against this girl. I would take the audio tape to the police too.

You would think with all the stories about bullying the school would take a tougher stance against it. In the meantime, ask if you niece can be moved into another class. Since they will not release this information, I would go to the school wait for your daughter, see what bus or if someone picks up this girl and follow them home. Your niece should know if she rides the bus or walks home. I would follow her home and then go to her door and talk to her parents.

Talk to your niece, I know you tell her how much you love her. But talk to her about bullies. How they are very insecure people and so that people don't see their flaws they tried to break down others. This girl is 2 years older, trouble maker, but more so slow or dumb to be held back two years. Also ask her if any other girl is being bullied by this girl, if so, talk to that girls parents.

My heart goes out to you and your niece.
God Bless!

Call the school district - if the principal won't help and you've tried, you need to go over his worthless head. Don't transfer her - she has other friends in that school besides that one bad apple (yes, other words come to mind...). She needs her firends that have been with her thoguht the good and bad times. Heck - call the local news station and/or newspaper. Calling the press can almost guarantee a speedy response. What you can do is send a certified letter to:
1) the principal
2) school district
3) the media
with all of the details plus the recording. This might be overboard, but should get their attention.
Bullying is such a hot topic right now.
You've said you've talked to the principal - what about the teacher(s) and bus driver? They have a responsibility as well. Not to embarass your niece, but can you or another familiy member ride the bus with her?
Also - since she has a prothesis, are there any other kids or adults that she knows that have one? Maybe the bully and the principal need a little lesson - people that have gone through traumatic events sometimes will do a school 'lesson' - to show that differences are OK and they might even share their own 'bullying' experiences and how they overcame it.
(if they aren't in the phone book, try the tax assessor - http://www.maurycounty-tn.gov/assessor/assessor.htm - you can look up by the last name).
Good luck - this makes me ill thinking about it.

This poor child!

I would ask that she be moved to another 5th grade class at the very least! Even for the rest of the year--we're only 3/4 of the way through and I'll bet this little bully is making your niece's life hell on a daily basis.

I would follow up with the principal about the "investigation" and ask him whether you need to involve law enforcement. And you might need to get the school board involved. Your principal sounds lame and weak.

If I knew where she lived I would have a hard time stopping myself from marching up to their door. Sad thing is, I'll bet the parents are just like their daughter...I'd follow her bus if necessary to find out where she lives.

I don't really have any advice but just want to say oh my gosh. I am so sorry your niece is going through this. Is there some sort of conselour at the school? If not then I would most definitely go to the superintendant? This is something that should not be tolerated at all and the principal and teachers should be doing more.

Have you tried talking to the school social worker? Is there a specific school policy on bullying? If there is, it should outline the exact steps you should/could take. If not, the social worker/guidance counselor seems a good place to start. If your niece knows that she has an adult at school to whom she can go if things get really out of hand (which may happen) she may feel a bit safer. Other than this, you could go to the School District hierarchy, and perhaps the local police??? I am so sorry that your niece is experiencing this kind of meanness - she has already had a lifetime of sorrows and certainly needs no more.

call the school board. or if the police if you have to but start with the school board. i know in some states buillying is against the law good luck!

LipstickMomma said it! Call the principal and tell him you are lawyering up. That is just guaranteed to get a response. Your poor niece, my heart breaks for her. Oh goodness Aunty, I hope this gets resolved very quickly.

If I were you I would be down at that school raising a fuss. Your niece does not have a normal situation. I think you should go to the boss of the principal whoever that is. Also the school should set up a conference with you the teacher and the girls parents. I would not stop until that has happened. Good luck. Let us know what happens.

That poor little girl! I cannot believe the school won't handle this! The first thing I would do is report it to the City/County School Board! I would look that up in the phone book. The next thing you can do is get the girl's name and just call info, 411 should have the info at this time if not out in the phone book yet. You could try going up to the school to volunteer one day and having a word with this child yourself. You can also ask the princ if he/she would be on board with having an adult with a prosth leg come to the school and talk about how it happened and what it means to be in this situation. Many children empathize when they actually hear a story from an adult. If that doesn't work out and the school board doesn't help, call the police about bullying and call the newspaper and news to report it. Warn the princ first that you are about to do these things if you do not see IMMEDIATE action! Tell the Princ you will do whatever it takes to get this taken care of even if it means he/she losing his/her job! Talk to your neice and tell her how special she is and how this will pass. Talk to her about how bullies are usually the way they are b/c they are the weak ones, that this little girl might have issues of her own at home. If this little girl seems like she 'could' be a sweet little girl but has issues, you may even invite her over to play. Force her to see how sweet your niece is. I have no tolerance for bullying and most schools don't either! Be proactive and make a stink until it gets taken care of!
ps/ after sending my message it showed me your 'update'...good for you! I am glad you took it further, keep up the good work!

you could look up the parents on facebook? or if the kid is picked up from school and not on the bus, confront them then. Also maybe have a party for all of her friends and her to bring up her spirits and get them rallying aroud her?

You absolutely need to take this to the superintendent of your school district. There are laws against bullying in this country and if your school's teachers and principal refuse to obay them it needs to be known. If you can't get the situation resolved through them I would suggest going to the police and filing harrassment charges. That would surely wake up the parents of the girl and the school administration. Your neice has been through way too much at a young age to have to deal with things like this too. Stick up for her at all costs, she deserves to be treated with kindness and respect from everybody!

Try to get the girls last name and do an internet search for her.
Call all her teachers and ask them to help her.Call the school and talk to the school social worker, and the superintendent, then the president of your school board. No child should have to go through this.
You can also go to the school and have your niece point out the bully and speak to yourself.
And put your niece in a martial arts program to build her confidence, and give a place to make new friends and allow her to defend herself. Good Luck!
J. O

three words. school board now!!!!!!! the nerve of that girl. R.

Good Job!

You are doing 100% the right thing! If this doesn't resolve the issue... get legal help. This child deserves a safe, secure education! I hope that everything works out fine- and I hope someone figures out what this other girl's PROBLEM is! There is obviously something off with her, and I hope that she gets the help she needs- without having her treat other kids the way that she treated your niece!

Good Luck and Bravo!
-M.