Vaginal Birth Complications/traumas

Nobody has the right to judge you!! Everyone has different experiences. Some people didn't have great experiences with a VB and others with a C-section. My c-section was completely unplanned but it wasn't it a bad experience and my recovery wasn't terrible (just really sore and I had a 4 year old and 2 year old to take care of at the same time). I would say choose whatever you and the doctor think is best for you and for those that judge - shame on you!

I had episiotomies with both my kids. I never felt like I healed right after the first. It always was uncomfortable to have sex and a little sore. I just felt off. After my second, I had another episiotomy and I think it fixed whatever went wrong the first time. I healed great and I havent had a problem since. I too have hemorroids. They are what they are. Luckily they can be removed if they become too much of a bother.
Good Luck to you!

I had episiotomies with all three births, and many, many stitches with my first. I still have a little trouble with scarring, I definitely got better at birthing as I went. My pushing became more effective. I had more subsequent complications after the first birth, but it did get better if that's comfort to you. Good luck!

The reason for C sections is for women like you that need the help.
And thank goodness. So many women used to die giving birth.

Giving birth is not a competition. It is not about who can go the most natural, who can go totally without pain meds, without making any sounds, without any assistance.. The longest labor, the quickest birth..

None of this matters, except that the newborn is healthy and the mother is safe and healthy also..

You do what is best for YOU. You need to be safe and healthy during the birth, just as much as your newborn needs to be safe during the birth.

Ignore ANYONE that would say such a thing to you.

First delivery was a nightmare. After more than 24 hours on pitocin and no epidural, I got an epidural and 2 hours later pushed out an 8# 13 oz baby and had a episiotomy that extended to the anus--ouch and had a postpartum hemorrhage. I was weak from the blood loss and too sore to sit down for weeks. Add breastfeeding problems and complications with the episiotomy healing and I was a mess. Needless to say, I wasn't exactly in a hurry to get pregnant again. 3 years later I had a wonderful 5 hour labor at home and made it to the hospital less than an hour before my 9 lb son was born. The delivery was easy, only a small vaginal tear that recovered in 2 weeks, and I felt great. 20 months later due to a surprise pregnancy I had a very similar 3rd birth with an easy recovery.
There are no 2 labor/birth stories alike. C-sections are not evil and sometimes are necessary. Just know your risks and try to make a good decision. I understand your fear for I dreaded labor and birth so much with my second child because of the trauma of my first. My second and third births were almost "healing" experiences. Wishing you the best....Nurse midwife mom of 3

As a woman who has lived for decades with an increasingly disabling rectocele and hemorrhoids following a huge episiotomy and forceps delivery, I am totally on your side in this. The women who are chiding you simply don't realize the degree of discomfort you deal with daily. Childbirth is not what most of us would consider fun, but we are not required to "prove" anything by inviting a more miserable or damaging experience than necessary. That would be some sort of weird masochism. Give out information on a need-to-know basis, or simply don't discuss your plans.

Consider this – the episiotomy was a surgical intervention to assist your first birth. The C-secion will be a different surgical intervention to assist your next delivery. And I hope everything 'comes out' just perfectly! ;-)

I had a great birth experience naturally 3 yrs ago. About an hour after the birth when I went to use the bathroom something excrcuating happened and I was horribly swollen and could not sit or move much for 3 weeks until a giant clot passed. Now it is excruciating to have intercourse and hubby and I just do not do it which is a NIGHTMARE. I am an organic farmer, had a 100% natural childbirth which was an awesome experience BUT have thought that if I ever get preg again I will for sure consider a c section. Let the judgy mc judgersons judge my decision and until they have walked in our shoes.

Forget the women who judge you and stop asking for their input or just stop telling them. Tell a white lie and say yes, I'm going for a vaginal...and then later if you still know them say, you had a c-section. Honestly, it's just none of their business.

I've had both a C-section and 2 VBAC's....i sort of think the C-section was easier to heal from...it was a very clean incision line.

You seem to have had it pretty rough and I too would be horrified to go through with a surgery to correct the rectocele. Plus an episiotomy and hemorrhoids on top of the vaginal birth? This does not sound like a healthy, all natural experience for you.

I only had the episiotomy and hemmorrhoids after baby #3 and looking back, I'd opt for the C-section any day. My anus has never been the same.

Be confident with what you and your OB choose to do. There are stretching techniques during labor, but that might not be an option. I'd be concerned about any residual scarring from the rectocele surgery.

Good luck!

I had my first vaginally and then my next two as a C-section. I have had so many complications...don't know if they are directly related or not. But, had a horrible hives reaction to the medication they gave me. So, I had these hives from head to toe and everywhere in between. Then they turned into these horrible pus filled nastiness. Girl, it was gross. Had that for two-three weeks. That whole time the baby could not figure out how to nurse, so I was pumping and seeing lactation specialist for weeks as well. OOps, then had to get my gall bladder out, emergency surgery. Then, I have had the WORST hemorroids and anal fissures EVER...had them for the past two months. It is torture to go to the bathroom.
I feel you. I understand you. "F" 'em if they pass judgement.
L.
(and I will NOT be having any more kids) lol

Hi M. L,
I read your c-section vs. vaginal delivery question and wondered whether you'd get a lot of controversy in that question. I have my own (strong) opinions on lots of things but I really don't believe in being judgmental. You've been through a traumatic birth and it's natural for you to have anxiety about the next one and to want to do things differently. Doing things differently can mean having a c-section, but it doesn't have to mean that. It's hard to know whether or how much you would have torn if you did not have the episiotomy, but there are definitely ways to minimize damage to your perineum. I was able to attend both births of a friend of mine. She had a 4th degree tear with her first baby and had a long and painful road to recovery. For her second baby, who she had at home, she spent a lot of time talking over her concerns and anxieties about tearing with her midwives and with me (as her doula) and we all were able to help her slow down her pushing and she only had a small tear during her second birth. Choosing a c-section might really ease your anxiety, but it also comes with it big risks including continued pain and/or numbness at the incision site. It's also fairly common to have pain with intercourse even after a caesarean. Some people recover just fine after a c-section, but others say they wish they knew how much more painful it would be. This is a decision not-to-be-taken lightly and you should perhaps continue to mull it over and research up until the end of your pregnancy. Another thing I suggest to people who know they will have a c-section is *not* to schedule it, but to wait until labor starts and then go in for the surgery, this way you know that your baby is ready to be born. Some babies are ready at 38 weeks and some are not ready for 41 or so weeks! Knowing that c-section babies are more likely to have breathing difficulties at birth, waiting for labor to start gives your baby the advantage of having mature lungs before he or she is born. Best of luck to you! Research *all* your options, decide what really feels best to you and then stick by your decision.

***I want to make sure everyone knows - my first birth experience was an intervention created emergency cesarean. It was very traumatic for me, the complications were severe and I still have complications and resentment SIX YEARS after the surgery! I am a Nurse, I've seen 5-6 cesareans in my OB rotation and have done 5 years of research into Midwifery and birthing without Drs. My #2 is due in July and I CANNOT wait to have my Home VBAC!!***

I am sure there are a lot of women with similar stories... after all, OBs in hospitals do 98% of births in America. I really think you need to look into a Midwife at a birthing center - where you are allowed to move your body as you feel you need to, gravity helps greatly with the birth and the baby will then have enough room to do all the rotations necessary for an easier birth.

Your OB completely botched your first birth - yes yes everyone is alive and well - but that should not be the only point of a successful birth. Why should women not be able to expect just only for everyone to be alive and healthy, but also feel healthy in mind and body after the birth?

Have you ever looked into the rates of Midwife assisted births ending in tearing or episiotomies? Or how many large babies are born with them without tearing, shoulder dystocia or cesareans? Midwives are woman oriented and they put the woman and fetus first ALWAYS. OBs are surgically trained pathologists, who are not trained in normal births, only its complications and surgical possibilities. They also put THEMSELVES first over the Mother and fetus - just look at what they do to laboring women in the hospital!! Lay in bed on your back, don't move around much, no eating or drinking because of the 'possibility' of anesthesia and surgery...

It's not judgements you are getting from other Moms against cesareans... it is us trying to make you see what a cesarean actually is. It's not a cosmetic elective surgery nor it is equal to getting a mole removed. This is serious abdominal surgery in which dying is a major complication!

Honestly, anyone who judges a woman after going through that much pain should be slapped. I do believe vaginal is best, BUT, if your body isn't able to handle it, you have to do what's best for you.

Like Laura U said (LOL) - F'em!

I had a level 4 episiotomy with our son. My doctor forced things to happen too fast and cut me to allow my son to pass. As he was putting me back together he kept saying I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. The recovery was horrible!! I changed drs and she advised me to have a c-section because of the risk of complications that might require surgery to fix other issues like the ones you referred to. The recovery from the c section with our twins was actually easier than the episiotomy. Whatever you decide is okay! Congratulations!!

Honey, I'd be scared too if I was you.
I was born in 1962 and my mother and I almost died from her trying to have me. They had called for her doctor and fortunately another one was able to get there sooner. He took her in and did an x-ray (I always tease her that's the reason for my mental abnormalities) and he found that she had a pelvic deformity. There was only one way to get me out and they did an emergency c-section. Fortunately, when she had my little sister, they knew this ahead of time and scheduled a c-section, but the risks to her were pretty high. Technology wasn't nearly as advanced as it is now. My mom and dad made the conscious decision not to have more children.
I've known women with gestational diabetes and preeclampsia who've had scheduled c-sections. I've known women whose babies went into distress at the last minute and had to have c-sections.
I personally think the main importance is a healthy mom and healthy baby however that happens and if your doctor thinks this is the best approach for you, I think you have to listen to that as opposed to judgements by other people.
All births are different. Your second one might not be as bad as the first. But if you're comfortable having a c-section and your doctor is comfortable with it, in my opinion there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I wish you the best.

My opinion is that you need to have your child in the way that is best for you. It sounds like you had a really traumatic first birth---I would seriously consider the c-section that your Dr. suggested. A planned c-section is so much different than an emergency one and you still run the risk of an emergency one if you have vaginal anyways. Why not schedule the c-section and have a happy, healthy delivery. Who cares what others think---I wouldn't tell anyone if you don't want them voicing their opinion. Your hubby can know and anyone else who will support you, but don't tell the whole world-no one will understand unless they have been there themselves. GL!

M

I am a strong advocate for natural birthing, but I also understand that c-section have an important place in medicine. With your injuries it's a valid option to consider.

It is your body and you get to decide what you want. However, if you are still seeing the same provider who botched your first delivery, you may want to consider getting a second opinion, both on your options for repair, as well as for any future pregnancies. Serious birth injuries such as yours can almost always be prevented if you have a healthcare provider that is well versed in supporting vaginal deliveries.

M. L - you bring that baby into the world the safest and best way that you and your doctor (who knows your health history...we don't) know how to. If that means c-section then so be it.

I'm sick and tired of hearing how freaking great midwives are because they do vaginal births. Well DUH...they're not certified/licensed to do c-sections and, for the most part, ob patients who have a history of complications would not be cared for solely by a midwife! So, of course their percentage of vaginal births is going to be exceptionally high :) I would have to imagine that the patient base of a midwife would be women who do not necessarily present as high risk! Yes, midwives are great...for those who can have nice, non-complicated births or vbacs.

I, too, had a really bad episiotomy with my first. It took a few years to heal to the point where I wasn't totally numb down there! I was very concerned about how to deliver my second. My first child had not been overly large, though, I just had a doctor who had a dinner reservation he didn't feel like being late for (yes, really!) and so without even asking - SNIP! Ugh. What a jerk. Anyway, for my second baby, I changed doctors and talked it over with my OB/GYN. He said that since baby #2 was not predicted to be overly large (she ended up at 8 lbs) that we could try a vaginal delivery and just see how it went. We did, and I had a few tears, but it was not NEARLY as painful as the episiotomy had been, and it healed WAY faster. In my opinion, an episiotomy is an evil procedure - you're better off tearing because your body can heal itself from its own injuries much better than from injuries inflicted from the outside (if that makes sense).

Anyhow, I did a vaginal delivery for #2 and it was WAY easier than with #1. Much less painful. If you want to do a c-section, then by all means do what you're comfortable with. If you're expecting a 12-lb baby, then yeah, go with the c-section! ;)

I have three children. First baby I pushed for 3 hours and also had an episiotomy. Second and third baby I had at home with a midwife. No tearing at all, not even where the previous episiotomy was. Pushed for 10 minutes. All babies were the same size, almost 8lbs. Your first baby is always the hardest. Also, birth in a hospital, flat on your back is not the best way. If you want a better vaginal birth then educate yourself on other ways to deliver vaginally. Don't use and OB. Have a natural, unmedicated birth. Birth in the position that feels right for you. Even after going through my first birth that was really, really hard, I would never opt for a c-section because I was scared.
For the record my homebirths were fabulous! I caught the baby myself and was in total control.

They always say your second baby will be bigger than the first... I think you need to do whichever you and your doctor are most comfortable with. I'm still an advocate for doing it naturally... My first baby came out 'sunny side up'... even with the epidural it was excruciating... but I didn't second guess myself for one second when I was delivering my second VAGINALLY (even though I hemorrhaged afterwards and almost lost my uterus)... and then with my 3rd... again, vaginally. Every baby is different... don't let that one experience scare you. Do what you're comfortable with and CONGRATS!! :)

It can be night and day. .y first was born 14 yrs ago and he was a itty bitty 6.6 at birth. He ripped me clear up to my crack which was a 4th degree laceration with over 70 stitches including almost to my leg. I still couldn't sit flat at my 6 wk checkup. I didn't think I would make it! Ten and a half years later I had a 8 pd butterball and didn't need one stitch. It doesn't always go like it did the first time around!

i just answered your other post about an elective c-section and i have to say, after reading all your complications, i can't blame you for going the c-section route. go with what feels right to you. people will judge regardless.

Nobody has to live with your vagina or pain. Do whatever you and your doctor think is reasonable under the circumstances. I have a weird spine anatomy that wouldn't allow for a vaginal delivery (didn't know that ahead of time). So I had a c-section. It went well and the pain afterwards wasn't terrible. Recovery was hard, but so is recovery from a vaginal birth. Honestly, when I hear some of the horror stories from women about tearing, scaring and pain afterwards, I'm pretty happy that my "girl parts" are still in order down there. I feel so badly for women who are never the same in that area. Have a healthy baby and don't worry about what everyone else tells you - it's none of their business!

Don't worry about people judging you. Your birthing experience is not really anyone else's business. That said, just be informed of the complications that can also result from a c-section. Read all you can on that and fully educate yourself and it will help you make a decision you are comfortable with.

I had a difficult first birth (8 lb 3oz baby) and had a tough time healing from a huge episiotomy and then later had to have surgery to remove hemorroids due to pushing for so long during labor. Not a pleasant experience by any means. However, my 2nd and 3rd vaginal deliveries were awesome. Much less time pushing and overall just much more of what I would consider 'normal'. I had no hemorroids and a very small episiotomy. Something my doctor said has always stuck with me....basically that our bodies 'learn' from the first experience, just as we do, so that is why you hear so many stories of women having much easier 2nd birthing experiences.

I know everyone's experience is unique. Just be sure that no matter what you decide you are certain in your heart that it is the right thing for you and your child.