Visitation and Newborns

I talked to many professionals and counselors during my divorce and it was suggested that the baby spend a few hours at a time bonding w/the father at first. The baby needs its mother the most during the first couple years. I wouldn't send a newborn to stay overnight myself; I'd wait until the child was at least 18 months old (which is when my visitation started and I STILL felt it was too young for a little boy to be away from his own room and his mom, etc.)
Just my opinion...
Good Luck,
J.

Hi L.. Best wishes for you! I'm a lactation consultant, midwife, mom of a 22 mo. old and I founded an organization in Chicago that supports new families. I'm sorry you're having to navigate the challenges of custody issues. If there is one thing I know from supporting families and becoming a mom myself, is that you will never know what you and your baby need until you're there. We have strong instincts (translate... strong FEELINGS...) that I feel need to be respected. And your reasonable everyday self might say, Hey, that's fair and maybe it will be good to have a night to myself. But then your mama bear self will find this previous agreement to be like ripping your heart out. So my advice.... wait until you are well through the postpartum period... and into the first year to make decisions about time away. If the father wants to do night time parenting with the baby, he can sleep on the couch and help you get rest in between feedings. If you are planning to breastfeed, get advice from a lactation consultant about managing your supply through any separations, and definitely avoid separations for the first 6 weeks. If you feel you need validation to insist that overnights wait a while, you can have medical authorization for this if you are breastfeeding. I hope this is helpful and I wish you the best.
K.

Whenever you are comfortable!!!! And if you breast feed, it would be very hard for you to leave him overnight!

Good Luck!

I am currently getting divorced and have a 15 month old daughter. I was advised by my lawyer that overnights usually don't start until the child is 4 or 5 years old. Prior to overnights visitation is more about quantity than anything else...meaning he should see the baby every other day for 1/2 an hour to 1 hour. These recommendations are based on what child phsycologist (sp?) recommend to the judges who handle visitation issues. Hopes this helps you. Good luck.