Want to Transtion 1 Year Old from Rocking to Sleep to Falling Asleep Alone

Updated on February 03, 2018
K.H. asks from Memphis, TN
36 answers

My son just turned 1 this month and since he was born we have rocked him to sleep. It wasn't really a concious choice, he 9 times out of 10 feel asleep while nursing and was simply put in bed asleep. Of course that 1 time out of ten, I couldn't bring myself to let him go to sleep crying so I (or my husband) would rock him until he slept. Now that he's a little older and 9 times out of 10 does NOT fall asleep with his nighttime bottle, I find myself rocking him for 20 minutes at least until he's asleep, and even longer if he's fighting sleep.
I would like to help him fall to sleep on his own. I've tried letting him cry it out, checking on him at 5, 10, 15 minute intervals, but he seems to thrive on the crying instead of it making him tired. The longer it goes, the harder he cries until he is literally gasping for breath. The longest I've gone without picking him up is an hour and at that point it seemed like rocking him for 20 minutes would have been easier.
Does any one have any advice?

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C.B.

answers from Louisville on

I have to say don't let the poor little guy cry it out. I rocked my daughter until she was about 20 months and wasn't interested anymore. I still rock my 16 month old and will until I can't anymore. They're only little once and you won't be rocking a 16 year old! He will outgrow it when he's ready. Right now, you are his comfort object and that's a good thing as far as I'm concerned. Cherish these moments rocking and loving him. I miss that special time with my daughter. I wish I'd held her tighter:) Good luck.

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E.H.

answers from Greensboro on

I have a friend who went through this. She rocked her 2nd son to sleep until he was 3. By that time he was too big to be rocked. She STILL has to sit next to her son and rub his back till he falls asleep and he's 6 now. If she doesn't he cries well into the nite. Seeing as you've rocked him to sleep for his whole life, that's what he's used to. It's gonna be very hard to transition him from being rocked to sleep to putting himself to sleep. And it's going to be very very h*** o* you to transition him because his crying will put added stress on you. Do you pick him up when you go in his room when he cries? DON'T!! Rub or pat his back to comfort him. Right now he doesn't understand why you don't rock him to sleep anymore. It's really too late to start the "Ferber method"; that only really works when they are tiny babies. I would suggest keep rocking him for 5 minutes and sing him a lullaby, lay him down while he's still awake and tell him goodnite and leave the room. Or, sit in a dark corner and read a book and sit quietly until he falls asleep. Slowly transition to where you can sit by the door until he lays down or falls asleep on his own. Then start leaving the room while he's awake, but laying down. Hopefully you can get to the point where you can leave right after or soon after you lay him down and he doesn't cry for you. If he does cry, sit by the door until he lays down and doesn't get up. Don't interact with him except to rub his back when he cries to soothe him. You don't want to pick him up or talk to him because that can keep him awake and he'll want you to rock him more. The point is to get him used to going to sleep in his crib and not in mommy's or daddy's arms. I hope you work this out; Good luck!

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E.O.

answers from Charlotte on

If you're going to let him cry, let him cry it out. It makes it worse for him and for you to back and forth every night on how you put him to bed. That being said, I despise that method. My first child was rocked to sleep every night until she was around 18 mo. old. She then wanted to read a book and go to sleep lying on her bed with me sitting in the floor singing lullabies. At two and a half years she would let me read her one book, put her to bed and tell her goodnight. My second child is a bit more clingy. She's now 18 mo. and I still rock her to sleep every night. I love it!... and will continue doing as long as I can. I know that it won't last forever and there will be a time when I will want to rock her and she won't let me. Enjoy the time while you have it. They're only little once.

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A.R.

answers from Lake Charles on

We were rocking every 1-2hrs for almost 12mos. WE WERE EXHAUSTED. After applying the HWL method from that guide https://www.parental-love.com/?category=SLEEP+TRAINING my son started to sleep in his crib after putting him away in a crib and that's my victory!
I thought it was a fluke but it has now been a few months and my baby is still an amazing sleeper.

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T.A.

answers from Greensboro on

Hi Kathy,
Children know a parents weakness, you were in the winner circle when your son cried to the point of gasping. Now you have to start over and each time you let your son win it will get longer and stronger. Continue allowing him to cry himself to sleep. The gasping and hard crying is only to weaken you as he weakens himself and get you to give in. As long as he can't hurt himself let him cry until he falls asleep. Also when checking on him try not letting him see you this lets him know he is getting your attention which is what he wants.

Best of Success,
Old School mom.

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A.H.

answers from Greensboro on

Best advice I got was from the book "The Baby Whisperer". She has a book for infants and another for toddlers. She covers "getting the child to sleep" in both books, so you'd probably want the toddler book. She talks you through a cry-out method where you never really leave the child, or just for a moment at a time. Set small goals for yourself/child. We moved from walking to sleep to child falling asleep with us patting on the back, to falling asleep with us beside the crib, to falling asleep with us sitting near the crib, to us out the door. It took a little while and some nights were fast and some nights were slow, but get it right at this age and you have freed yourself for the future! We started this about 11 months and our daughter is now almost 3. Our bedtime routine is 15-20 minutes from brush teeth to lights out and when we lay our daughter down with a kiss and turn off the light that is IT - we can walk out the door. So wonderful!!

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S.G.

answers from Raleigh on

I had the same issue with my son, he could scream all night long and never fall asleep. My daughter is a different story thank goodness. I did the same as you, rocking to sleep. I started slow with a music box attached to his crib frame. I know some will say it is a crutch but it worked for me. I would put him down BEFORE he was really tired, at 1 year that's about 3.5 hours after he got up from his previous nap. I wrapped him in his blanket, told him it was time to sleep, laid him down and got him interested in his music box, and left the room. I have tried MANY music boxes and my favorite is V-TECH with the bumble bee, you can choose the volume, and length it would play and the different light shows. I used the quietest volume and longest play time. I started using it for naps and then moved to nighttime. I had a lot of sleeping issues with him and he really didn't sleep all night until he was two. But the music box system worked, he would play with it until he fell asleep. And as he got older he would turn it on and off himself. I would recommend putting tape over the volume so if he turns it on at night by rolling into it, he's not startled awake with music.

I would also recommend a book called The No Cry Sleep Solution, even if you don't use the method it has really great information about sleeping habits.

And for bedtime I used a strict routine. My husband didn't think a routine was necessary because he never had one but our son proved him very wrong, he thrived on a daily routine. Keep it short and simple: Start at 730 - bath, tiny snack, book, lights out, sing a song, get into the music box and lay him down by 815. With my daughter we turn the lights out, rock and give her a little fruit bar snack. That sends a good signal that its time to be quiet. The most important thing is be consistent and yes it will work and you have to give up your life for a while until it does.

Ok, 'nuf said! I know you'll get lots of advice! Good luck. suzanne - mommy of chase and sophia

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I.W.

answers from Greensboro on

DON'T LET BABY CRY TO SLEEP!!!!!!!!
There are soooo many reasons why this is not good. First, it's mean. Second, it doesn't always work. Third, studies show it can actually cause harm. This is outdated advice that never really worked in the first place. Dr. Ferber, who made CIO popular years ago has even retracted some of this original CIO information. He now admits that babies have different personalities and sensitivities and some are just not meant to cry themselves to sleep. So the so-called expert is taking back some of what he used to say. Hhmm.

Here's a link to kellymom.com with tons of info about this. Plus this link also includes yet more links to back up what I said about CIO not being effective and causing harm.
http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/comfortnursing.html

I recommend the book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantely. Here's a link for more info http://www.kellymom.com/pantley/pantley03.html

Babies and young children need to be PARENTED to sleep. We as adults need help getting to sleep. We watch TV, we do crosswords, we read books. Sleeping pill sales are at an all time high. Yet we expect a baby to just lay down and go to sleep. It's unrealistic and makes mom feel like there is something wrong with her or baby when it doesn't work. Sure, there are some babies who do fall asleep easily and with little help from mom. There are some moms here who tell you that CIO worked with their babies. But this is the exception, not the norm. And notice how some moms say it worked for one baby but not the other. CIO is not meant for all babies.

Now, I'm stepping off my soapbox.....I know how frustrating this can be for you. I've been there. I can tell you it won't last forever (even though it feels like it right now). My 2 year old now goes to sleep fine and sleeps all night. Naps fine too. And he never cried himself to sleep. They go thru phases. Some weeks he would sleep horrible and then he'd go months sleeping great. So just cause things seem hard now don't mean they'll stay that way. As a matter of fact, I remember the one year mark being a bad phase for us. It was around this time he dropped from 2 naps to 1 and also realized there was too much activity in the house around bedtime and wanted to play longer.
Know that you are not alone, other moms are going thru the same thing and it does have a time limit. If you decide to continue to try CIO, at least get more info on it (Dr Ferber even said never let it go on for an hour!). No matter what you decide, I wish you the best!

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A.W.

answers from Louisville on

As much as I wasn't successful with my first daughter---let him cry it out! and do it now before it gets any harder. I started early with my youngest daughter and it has worked without any hitches, but my 3 year old not only can not get herself to sleep, she can't keep herself asleep. It takes me over 30 minutes every night to lay in bed with her to fall alseep and sometimes hours because the minute I move she wakes up and screams and crys unless I stay in the room wither and then she gets up just a few hours later and gets in my bed. She also won't take a nap by herself and it is a battle too. My youngest daughter is 11 months and she loves her bed. She sleeps there for every nap and all night long.
Let Him cry. He needs to learn how to get himself to sleep! I had also tried the progressive extinction---5, then 10, then 15 minutes.....it doesn't really work because anytime there is a change in his schedule such as illness or vacation you have to start all over again. Good luck!

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K.R.

answers from Lexington on

Hi K.,

I agree with most everyone else...let him cry it out. My son is 4 1/2 months old and we started letting him cry it out about 2-3 weeks ago. It is definitely hard...Mommy has cried it out along with him on more than one occasion, but it truly works. The first night he cried 40 min., the second 30, the third 40, the fourth 25, and then no more than 10 min. Now, just 2-3 weeks later, he usually goes to bed with no problem. Sometimes he fusses (but does not actually cry) for a few minutes. We also have a bedtime routine, which really helps. He eats around 6:30 or 7:00, takes a bath, reads a book or two, and I sing him 2 songs while I'm standing and walking in a circle. Then I lay him down with his taggy (it's a little blanket with tags all around it) while he's still awake, but drowsy, and he holds that until he falls asleep. It's wonderful! I was so stressed out when he would cry so hard- it would just break my heart. Now I don't dread bedtime. I hope that helps! Good luck!

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S.R.

answers from Nashville on

Hi K.!

I did the same thing with my now 16 mo old son and I would probably still be doing it...BUT, one night he started to get really restless (at about 1 year) so I decided to put him in his crib to see what he would do. Guess what! He fell asleep. And, now he goes down for his naps & nighttime by himself (no tears involved)! He even asks for night-night.

My point is this...he gave me the cue that he was ready to do it on his own. I didn't force it, because my heart can't take a baby crying themself to sleep. But, everyone is different so what works for one mom may not work for another.

Everyone told me...you rock him now..you will be rocking him for years. I did what my heart told me to do and now I have an independent son.

Good Luck! I know you will get TONS of advice from other moms. Just listen to your mommy instincts and do what works for you.

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V.B.

answers from Raleigh on

Ohmygosh K., I could have written the same exact thing...my son just turned 1 too and I do the exact same thing at every nap/bed time. I nurse him to sleep or I hold and rock him until he falls asleep. I subconsciously knew that someday this process would come back to bite me but honestly I don't regret it. I really don't believe in the 'crying it out' method...its cruel - you're baby is upset and wants your comfort and trying to tell you the only way he knows how. Please don't let him do that for an hour! The poor thing. I hear ya, though...you DO want him to sooth himself. Fortunately my son sucks his thumb and has a blankie that tends to make his eyes roll back in his head. Does your son have any lovies or pacificers that helps him sooth? One other thing I've been doing lately is lie down with him in my bed...not holding him or nursing him...and he'll tend to fall asleep on his own knowing that I am right there next to him...then I put him in his crib. Its not perfect but it was a step towards not nursing and rocking him to sleep. Gosh, I'll be interested to see what other mothers say to you...but I hate that you have to let him cry it out. It's a hard balance and I hate to say it, but my vote for you is - keep doing it for 20 minutes at every bed time...they're not babies forever and its something you can do for him for a little while longer!

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C.J.

answers from Hickory on

We have let our 14 mo old son "cry it out" from the beginning. It never takes more then 15 mins WHEN he is wound up to go to sleep. Usually he doesn't even cry at all. He knows that the crib is where he goes to sleep. I usually turn on some music, give him a kiss and walk at the door. One thing that has made this easier is a video monitor. I know when he is fine. There have been so many times that if I would have went in the room when he was crying, I would have disturbed him trying to get himself back to sleep. It has been amazing to me how much I would have missed not having the video monitor. It is alot easier when you can see what a baby does to get themselves to sleep and you learn what their normal behavior is. He will sometimes roll around and play if he is wound up and it is bedtime. Also, my son kind of does this sweet little moan sometimes when he is going off to sleep, even if it is in his carseat. At first, we would not have know that and would have thought something was wrong. Now we know that it is his way of settling himself to sleep. And there are occasions when he gets rocked to sleep or falls asleep in our arms but we don't make it a norm and he knows that when we put him in his crib that it is time for bed. Hope this helps and don't let others make you feel guilty. It is not mean to let them cry themselves to sleep and it helps them develop yet another new skill.

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A.O.

answers from Nashville on

My daughter wanted to be rocked/sung/cuddled to sleep until she was out of her crib. Her crying would escalate to the point where there was no way she could console herself. That being said, she hated her crib and we bought her a big girl bed when she was 18 mos. It was a clean break that also allowed us to tell her that she was in a big girl bed, and she didn't need to be rocked to sleep any longer. There was a transition period where we had to "gate" her into her room and let her cry it out a while, but that crying was markedly different from when she was put in the crib.

Ultimately, you know your child and you should do whatever feels right for you and your son without worrying what the books, your family, and your friends say you should do. I'm with one of the other moms who advised to enjoy it while it lasts. The regret that I have about that period that was so "trying" and frustrating is not the time I spent with her falling asleep on my chest, but the time and effort I put into trying to get her to do it the way she was "supposed to."

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M.P.

answers from Miami on

I do agree with Agnes R.- Susan Urban's 'how to teach a baby to fall asleep alone' guide WORKS! I'm so happy I gave it a try. My daughter finally falls asleep on her own without me rocking her to sleep. After 10 months of co-sleeping she falls asleep in her crib so I think that means something - excellent guide with great instructions! 10 out of 10 from my family :-) took us only 3 days to make it :-)

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L.O.

answers from Charlotte on

He will exhaust himself at some point, just let him cry it out for a few nights and be done with it. In the future should you have another child, if they fall asleep while nursing you need to gently wake them while you change them and put them down drowsy, but NOT asleep. They need to learn to fall asleep on their own from a VERY young age or you are setting them up for sleeping issues their entire lives.

We never once put our child in their crib while asleep, we roused them just enough to know they were being left in the crib and would settle right back down to sleep. My boys are champion sleepers who can fall asleep anywhere, anytime as are all my 7 siblings who were put to sleep the exact same way, so I know it works.

Do things at bedtime to make him drowsy--warm bath, dimmed lights, calming music...and then put him in his crib and go. A few nights of crying will be worth it for a lifetime of being able to sleep soundly on his own.

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K.C.

answers from Charlotte on

I know a lot of people are aginst pacifiers (myself included until I needed my son to fall asleep alone), but if you don't let him use one for sleep, you could try that first. The first time we let my son "cry it out", it took him about 1 1/2 hours to fall asleep. He was 6 months at the time though, and I think it might be easier when they're younger. All the books say to go in at intervals and calm them down without picking them up, then leave again. With our son, when I would go in he'd cry like a maniac and then calm down a litle when I left, so I was pretty much just going in, telling him I loved him, kissing him on the head and then leaving again. And yes, every night did get better. Within a week he was crying for about 5 minutes. That went on for about a month. Now, he's 19 months. He cries for about 5 seconds sometimes, but not normally. Good luck- I hope something about what we did helps!!!

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G.M.

answers from Raleigh on

Hey Kathy...speaking as a red head..there is nothing welike better than pushing the envelope :)

THe crying it out worked for us. the first three nights were awful and after that...smooth sailing. I'd go another night or two even if he does scream himself silly. I spent those nights sitting outside his door crying myself! :) and he did go for an hour once or twice but eventually gave up. if it doesn't work after about 2-3 nights, i'd call the pediatrician for suggestions.

Good luck! and sleep well!

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C.

answers from Charlotte on

YES!!! My son just turned 1 on 01/20/08 and my husband and I decided that he was READY to put himself to sleep on his own. I am against cry-it-out methods, so we put our heads together to find a way that would not include this. And like you were saying I had tried out of frustration to let him cry himself to sleep, and it would get to the point were he was making himself MORE awake by crying and would eventually throw up or get choked and start the gasping thing. I just don't think anyone should have to fall asleep like that.

I will have to tell you that my HUSBAND had to start this off. Caleb, my son, would have never taken to a change from me. I too had rocked him to sleep since he was born. We started off by letting my husband put him to bed for 3 nights. We he was good and tired, my husband took him to the rocking chair and gave him his last bottle. When he was finished eating, my husband laid him down in his crib. Everytime he would start to raise his head or body up, my husband would either lay him back down or push his head back down. He did cry and fuss a little, but my husband would pat his back and tushy to calm him down. He would eventually get tired of getting pushed back down, and just went to sleep.

Like I said my husband did this for 3 nights to develop a routine, then I started it. After about two weeks of this, I started to notice that it was taking me longer to pat him to sleep. One night after patting him for 30 mins, I just left the room and shut the door. He screamed for about 30 seconds, then silence, then about 3 mins later he screamed again for about 30 seconds, then I never heard anything else. He had put himself to sleep. The next night I rocked him and gave him his bottle, laid him down and told him good night, then left the room. He screamed for about 30 seconds, then I never heard anything else.

I guess my point is that we did it gradually, and he only cried very little by making it a process versus going cold turkey on him. You may have to use the help of your husband if you have been the primary rocker. Maybe something I have said will help. Good luck!!

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K.C.

answers from Charlotte on

Hey! I'm a red-head myself, but out of 4 sonswe have no red-headed children. I do have 4 little red-headed neices, though. I was also 27 when our 1st son was born!
I really have mixed feelings about what to advise you to do. Children grow up faster than you will ever be able to imagine, so rocking your baby doesn't seem like a terrible thing to do because next week he'll be graduating from high school!! It really does happen just that fast! Our oldest is graduating this May.
It's really best for HIM to be able to put himself to sleep. It's one of the first lessons on independence that he'll learn. Maybe you could establish a routine where you read, have a bottle, whatever and then rock him until he's ALMOST asleep and then tell him night-night and put him in his crib. That's what we did. It isn't easy on Mommy, but he needs to learn to fall asleep by himself. I have a 14 year-old nephew who STILL can't fall asleep alone. You don't want that, believe me!
It takes nerves of steel not to go in and pick him up, but it's best for him if you don't even open his door. If you're like me, you'll stand outside his door listening until he winds down and it will take a while!
Hang in there, Honey! He's going to be fine and so are you! God's blessings to your family!

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F.L.

answers from Knoxville on

I would try at this age start reading a story at his mid day nap read to him for ten minutes to see if he will fall asleep to be still slso be in his rocking chair while reading do this a few days then go to his bed to read in mid day lay down with him and read then if this works do it at nite at least it will be educational and the main thing a child needs is to be still and most times they will go to sleep

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A.B.

answers from Charlotte on

Read the book, The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. Awesome book!!! It really helped us to figure out how to make our little girl fall asleep on her own and stay asleep. Prepare for some battles with your little one, he's old enough to realize that you're not there and he was so used to completely being soothed to sleep this will be an adjustment for both of you! Unfortunately, he has to learn how to go to sleep on his own, it's easier when they are younger but it can be done, you'll just have to be strong and not give up.

Start with a routine, keep it the same every night. Nurse him before you go to bed, at this point you may want to start to wean him, but that is your decision if you would like to. I started a routine with my son at 8 weeks and he has been wonderful! He was sleeping through the night at 4 1/2 -5 months. He quickly learned how to go down at his naps and eventually at night without me, which will be great when I wean him.

Good luck!
A.

J.L.

answers from Clarksville on

Hi K.,

You may find the book, The No Cry Sleep Solution, by Elizabeth Pantley helpful. http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/

I've always rocked & nursed my babies to sleep, then transitioned with stories at bedtime and they sleep on their own. He won't be little forever. Hope that helps.

J.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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R.D.

answers from Jackson on

K.,

I know it is hard. We let out first CIO at 6 monthe, but he only cried for about 15 minutes for 2 nites and then it was over. That is not usually the case. I think he was just ready. I would rock and hold him until he was right at that sleep point, but not in a deep sleep and then I would put him down. I loved holding him as long as I could. We stopped at 6 months because I was pregnant and so sick that I could not hold him for very long. My second one is going to be very different I can tell...but I haven't crossed that bridge yet.

People are going to tell you that CIO is wrong. People are going to tell you that rocking you child until he is 2 or more is wrong. The only right method is what YOU are comfortable with. Do research on both sides and see which fits your views best. What you do for one child will not always work for another. I wish you well. Just remember that it is not worth stressing over.

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L.C.

answers from Raleigh on

hi K.:)
We never rocked our boys,thankfully they both loved thier cribs.....but does your son have a "lovie"(favorite toy/ blankie)? that was something that always helped our boys to fall asleep. They would just hug their kiki/teddy and drift to sleep.Sorry do not have more ideas....:)

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C.W.

answers from Chattanooga on

My personal opinion: don't be so quick to give up the rocking when he's only a year old. He's still a baby! I found that rocking my son to sleep and singing softly to him was just as good for me as it was for him. I rocked him to sleep for many naps and nights until he was about 4 years old, after I had read him a couple of books. For both of us, it just made such a peaceful end to the day. He's grown now and being rocked for several years surely didn't do him any harm!

When he was fighting sleep, I found that rocking and holding him firmly against me was the ticket. It was really funny how fast he would suddenly relax and be asleep - within a minute or two. We always, always read a book or two (or three, or four) at bedtime, and afterward it was easy for him to sleep.

My daughter did not like to be rocked and she didn't sleep well either. Bedtime for her was a battle every night til she was about 5. Your next child may be very different too!

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M.B.

answers from Louisville on

Boy are we in the same boat! I'm 28 and have a 18 month old red-headed boy. We were doing the same thing as you. We never changed what we were/are doing. However, we will only rock him for 20 mins. That's it-if he falls asleep, fine...if not, he goes to bed anyways. If he cries-shut the monitor off and leave him! He's fine-he'll eventually figure out that it's sleepy time and that's that. As he's gotten older it's gotten better...sometimes he prefers to be laid down by himself so he can stretch out. He doesn't cry for long periods of time when he does cry. (5 min. tops) It might help to lay him down with a special blankie or something like that. My son grabs his blankie when in the crib, holds it next to his face, closes his eyes, and falls asleep. My husband rocks him every night and I think that's fine. I wouldn't dare change it. It's their special bonding time-Daddy gets to snuggle and love on him. There will come a time our baby boy wont want to be rocked, so we figure-enjoy it now. Sometimes my husband rocks him a little longer after he's fallen asleep-just because he wants to hold him a little longer. Stick to your routine-give him his milk, brush his teeth, rock him for 20 min., then lay him down with his blankie. That's it. After awhile he'll figure it out. Just be consistant. Hang in there-He'll soon grow up and rocking him will be a thing of the past. I've never known an 8 yr old boy who wants to be rocked to sleep. :o) Good luck.

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M.L.

answers from Raleigh on

My 1yr old was no longer falling asleep with her last bottle. On the advice of friends we tried the crying out method and we wish we had started sooner. If your baby is crying he is fine. Don't walk in, it just prolongs the crying. I've even started it with naps. It's tough but you will be much happier. I've even put extra pacifiers in the crib just in case...

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S.S.

answers from Clarksville on

I have 2 fantastic, independent, well-adjusted children (ages 3 and almost 6)...who were rocked to sleep until they were about 2 1/2. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I remember around the one-year mark with my daughter, it was so frustrating, and I wanted her to just go to sleep, and we struggled like it sounds you are. But my heart couldn't stand to hear my baby cry that way, when all she wanted was for me to hold her. People told me, "you'll be rocking that child for years if you don't put your foot down now!" and that I was spoiling her, and on and on. But I did what my heart told me was right. When my expectant tummy crowded out my lap, and there wasn't room for her anymore, I would sit by her bed and sing until she fell asleep. Now I just sing one song, and tell them both good night and we have no trouble. With both of my children past the baby stage, and our baby days gone, I long for the days of rocking and nursing them to sleep. I understand your frustration, and I wish you the very best of luck. Do what YOU feel is right for YOUR family. And remember, the day is coming when that lil' sweety won't want you to hold him.

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E.W.

answers from Memphis on

Hey K.! Get the book "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" by Tracy Hogg and read it through. It's a great book and I think it will help you get your baby to sleep on his own. It's directed toward new babies but she also talks about these types of trouble-shooting issues in older kids. I've read it many times now (and I only have a 4 month old) and it has helped me tremendously. It is a great reference book to keep around. There is also a book by the same lady that is called "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems (by teaching you to ask the right questions)" and it is so helpful. It really does tackle many different issues that you might face in a really helpful way! You can get both used at amazon.com.
Good luck!

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H.K.

answers from Huntington on

There's nothing wrong with letting your baby cry, as long as it's not for a long period of time, like an hour. My son used to wake up numerous times through the night and I would have to nurse him back to sleep. After reading a book called Baby Wise, I learned that it's okay for a baby to cry. I know it's really hard to listen to your precious little one cry, but you only have to do it for 3-4 nights and they learn to just go back to sleep! I wouldn't let my son cry for more than 45 minutes though. Now, if he wakes up in the night I wait about 15 minutes before I go in to check on him (unless he sounds really upset) but most of the time he just talks to himself and goes back to sleep in just a few minutes and I don't even have to get out of bed!

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J.F.

answers from Nashville on

I am not a fan of the cry it out method and my son nursed to sleep for a year. Once I weaned him, we had to come up with another routine to get him to sleep. He was never into rocking but he loves to read books and listen to me sing songs (and I can't sing!). He is almost 2 now and every night we read 2-3 books and I sing him 3 of the same songs and while I am singing, he relaxes and falls asleep. The whole process takes 10-15 minutes. I enjoy the closeness and bonding we have during this time and I know he is not going to want to do it forever. So if you really want to give up the rocking find another routine with which you and your son are comfortable.

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R.W.

answers from Charlotte on

I did the same thing with 2 out of 3 of my children. It is so convenient to just rock them when you are nursing and then the transition to a bottle just felt natural. I loved rocking my babies. My firstborn, a girl, didn't cry long when we left her in the crib. Maybe 45 minutes and then the next night she was fine and went straight to sleep. My second, a boy, cried for several nights, but each night got less and less. I couldn't stand to hear my children crying and my husband didn't mind, so I left the house on several occasions and had him call me when it was over. I know that sounds cruel, but get someone to help you and you can leave and not hear them cry. It always broke my heart, but I knew it needed to be done or I would be rocking and 4 year old to sleep eventually!! LOL!! Anyway, my third one, I would purposely put to bed when still awake after feeding him and he was the best child to sleep on his own. Just recruit some help because it is easier for someone else to hear them cry then you! Good Luck!

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N.C.

answers from Raleigh on

Hi, K..

My daughter (and I) also got used to her falling asleep at the breast each night. Once she started to stay awake threw her last feeding, my husband and I started reading to her while holding her and letting her fall asleep in our arms while being read to. Then, we started laying her down in her crib and reading to her until she fell asleep in her crib. And, eventually, she was comfortable enough falling asleep in her crib that the stories could get shorter and she would comfortably and tearlessly fall asleep on her own after a short story. I have also heard of doing a similar transition from rocking to laying the baby in their crib and gently bouncing the mattress as a form of rocking until they fall asleep. And then gradually bouncing less until it isn't needed at all. Transitioning is time-consuming and tiresome but well worth it in the end! My daughter is almost 20 months now and we still hit bumps in our routine whenever she is teething...during those times (which has been pretty constantly over the last couple of months), she needs us there to soothe her to sleep. It won't last forever...but, we can feel good knowing that our babies know they are loved and we are there for them whenever they need it. There's nothing more important than that!

Good luck!

~N.

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