Weaning off of Night Feed Questions.....

Updated on August 31, 2011
G.T. asks from Canton, MA
9 answers

OK, so my nearly 8 mos old is still up 3x a night to feed!
I have successfully been able to wean her off feeds at night twice, and she sleep through the night, but it only lasts a week or two, then she starts getting up again, once, then twice, then three times.
ARGH!
I guess she just needs it?
I am trying to feed her more during the day, but she is so interested in playing that I think she is not getting enough during daytime. I have a 3.5 yr old as well, so bringing her to a quiet place without interruptions is not always possible. I feed her a lot before naps when she is sleepy, and a lot before bed. But she is getting about 30-40% of her calories at night!!!! She does not eat a lot of solids - just twice a day, some applesauce mixed with oatmeal or some carrots.
I know I can refuse to feed her at night, but I am not that kind of mom. My temperment cannot handle all the screaming.
Weaning her off of one feed would be one thing, but three is hard.
I did feed her less and less at night, and it worked, but again, she went back to it.
Thoughts? Suggestions? THANKS!!!!

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More Answers

E.A.

answers from Erie on

I didn't night wean until 18mo. But, I also would only nurse once during the night after 1yo, they got cuddles and water if they woke more than that. (edited to add, all of my kids also had pacifiers, which helped alot, they were all marathon sukcers and if I let them, they would have been attached to me all day! lmao) Many babies younger than 1yo cannot go all night without being fed, their stomachs are too small, so I always fed on demand up to a year, and then started setting boundaries after that according to their needs and my limitations. Every child is different, but if your baby is waking up that much, she is probably still hungry, her primary source of nutrition up to a year old should be breastmilk, so waking up to feed, if your baby requires it, will probably be necessary for a few more months.
I simply don't believe in letting a baby starve. Nightweaning when they are older is much easier and less traumatic for everyone. Try to nurse more during the day and give a solid food right before bedtime, that worked well for us. Solid food right now is really only "for practice".

Also, her needs change according to when her growth spurts are happening. Right before one, she will need the most calories and you will notice at some point she is sleeping more, which is a cue that that is the "spurt" time itself.

Also, we did the family bed, so that helped night wakings be much less disturbing to everyone. All I had to do was roll over and feed, my babies actually cried very little during the night because I was right there to comfort them.

Do what you feel is best. I know how tired you are, I had four kids in 7 years, and it felt like I didn't get a full nights sleep for...well...forever lol! Nap during the day when you can, and be gentle with yourself. You deserve it :)

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M.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

Well weaning is just stopping feeding. If you don't want to just refuse then I am not sure there is much else you can do. You don't have to refuse and then let her cry alone in a room. You could refuse and have your DH rock her till she succums to sleep. Then - once she goes the whole night without eating - don't feed her when she wakes up again in a couple of weeks. If she can go a couple of weeks without eating at night, she does not need to eat. If she is hungry she will figure out a way to eat more during the day. I don't give my 4 year old a sandwich in the middle of the night if she wakes up and says she is hungry. Same thing with your DD, she is just not old enough to say "Hey mom, I want something to eat" She just cries. You can tell her that it's time to sleep and she can eat in the morning.

Your other option would be like a friend of mine who nursed her DS all night until he was completely weaned at 2. She would give him a sandwich in the middle of he night now if he wanted - so different parenting styles....

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M.M.

answers from Detroit on

The thing to figure out is if she is actually hungry or just wants comfort (which she finds in the breast/sucking). A paci could do it. For us, I just ended up letting my son sleep in our bed and nursed him on demand (sometimes it felt like all night) until he was about 1. That isn't the right choice for everyone!

M.M.

answers from Chicago on

Melissa put it perfectly.

Does she take a paci? I would try that, instead of the feeding, if you don't want to just leave her. Rock her with that. It'll take a couple of nights, but once she learns that no boob is coming, she'll figure out a new strategy.

Although, I will point out that when you continue going in to her at this age, you're just creating a different habit. She still doesn't know how to self soothe, and until she learns, you're doing both of you a disservice.

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B.L.

answers from Boston on

I would say she probably still needs the night feedings. She might be going back to it when she's having growth spurts. Breastfed babies nightfeed more often and longer than formula fed babies because human milk digests more easily and quickly (you didn't say if you're nursing or not.) Co-sleeping (as long as you're doing it safely) helps so much in getting more sleep when your baby isn't sleeping through -- your sleep cycles synchronize so that you're sleeping less deeply when your baby wakes to feed, and you don't really need to get up -- just arrange yourselves, latch on, and both drift off again.

None of my three slept through until they were 18 months when I night weaned them. I have read that night-weaning isn't really a good idea for them, emotionally, until they are at least a year or so -- they just don't really get it until then. Of course, many people do, and their babies are just fine -- so do what's right for you, of course.

J.T.

answers from Springfield on

If she is actively eating and seems hungry then she needs these night feedings. If she nurses for 3 minutes and then falls back to sleep then she is more likely nursing for comfort. Perhaps it's a growth spurt.

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R.R.

answers from Boston on

If she's capable of doing it for a week or two is it possible that she could be teething and wanting to nurse for comfort? My daughter got her first teeth at 8 months.

Also have you tried cereal mixed with breast milk before bed? This fills their bellies more I think and was something I used to do. My daughter really liked the baby oatmeal cereal. If it's hunger this could help.

I know you don't want her to cry, but have you tried waiting 5 minutes before going to her? Sometimes they'll go back to sleep.

Good luck and take care!

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L.D.

answers from Boston on

She still needs to nurse at night, her little belly is too small to go that long without eating. It is essential for her growth and development, and keeps your milk supply up. Co-sleeping is incredibly helpful when you nurse during the night. Have patience, this time will be over all too soon.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Babies have enormous growth spurts during that first year. I know that most babies don't sleep through the night every night until about 20 months old.

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