Wedding - Oswego,IL

Updated on September 12, 2010
A.L. asks from Oswego, IL
13 answers

Hi Everyone, I need advice, my husband and I are invited to a wedding. I have never said no to a wedding until now. Its my old brother in law, by that I mean he was married to my sister and she has passed away, anyway he remarried and because we have 2 nieces we tried to stay close and have a relationship with his new wife. She has shown us she dosen't want us at their house even though we were invited by my brother in law and we wanted to see our nieces. Anyway I got the hint and stayed away but still see my beautiful nieces. They have children of their own, and his wife dosen't treat them very well. Now her daughter is getting married @ 18tn because her boyfriend is in the navy out of state! I really like her kids but she is such a B. They cancelled their wedding once and decided to marry anyway in October, one of my nieces now can't come with her hubby and the kids because now its last minute and they live in California. I am confused I still care about my old brother in law but he has married a control freak. I think this is her third marrige, shes just not a very nice person. Example, her sister came to visit from out of state and they went to the shedd aquarium<spelling and didn't take my great niece even though she and her Mom live there so my Niece can save money and get her masters degree after a nasty divorce. Oh what to do??????????????????????

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So What Happened?

Nothing yet but you guys crack me up, love all of your advice, any way the girl getting married is my bil stepdaughter, no relation to me. Like her don't like her mother, really don't want to be around her.

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S.H.

answers from Dallas on

Forget the B. If you like the person getting married then go. You can even laugh at the b's face when she sees you there.

3 moms found this helpful

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L.S.

answers from New London on

do not go. Just send a gift. Why would you want to deal with the drama?

3 moms found this helpful
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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

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C.B.

answers from Tampa on

Send a nice card with a giftcard saying, "We're so happy for you and pray you have a wonderful time! Please accept this gift as we will not be able to attend but our hearts are full of joy during such a happy time" you don't need to over compensate - that should work.

3 moms found this helpful

M.L.

answers from Houston on

Go for your nieces, otherwise blow the mom off. You don't need to be friends with every family member in order to keep in contact with others.

2 moms found this helpful
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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Go, and know you're there for your nieces and BIL.

2 moms found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from Topeka on

You say you like the bride...then go...have a wonderful time and ignore the BIL B of a wife!!! You aren't there for her...you are there for the bride and groom!!! I am sure that your BIL appreciates the fact that you have remained a part of his life.

2 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Not to put pressure on you , always follow what you feel is the best choice for you.
Participate in what you put your heart into.

With that said, Also keep in mind, you represent the closest they can get to their mother. You carry her memories, stories and will always play a special Place in their lives..

2 moms found this helpful
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D.D.

answers from Chicago on

I would go if only for him and your nieces. They are still your people regardless to the wench he married. They were your people first!

1 mom found this helpful
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E.C.

answers from Chicago on

I would decline & tell a white lie about why I couldn't come, come up with a conflicting event, or even the excuse that it's last minute.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.W.

answers from Chicago on

Sounds like you really don't want to go. Send a card/gift and forget about it. Keep in touch with your nieces through letters, visits, sending gifts, etc...this will be come easier as they get older and are out of their dad and (crazy) step mom's house.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

Ah I come from the same life I guess. Someone is always a nasty B word and we hurt so bad from it. Anyway, yes, your sister in law is a B word. Yes I work with an extremely nasty B word and didn't sleep for five days until I realized there are a lot of nice, nice people out there. You go and have a good time and practise making dirty looks at her and as my mother used to say, picture her sitting on the toilet, no better or worse than any of the rest of us out there. And although your brother in law is a bit whipped, he has to live with her, you don't. I am so sorry about your sister. But I am sure that her daughter (did I get this straight will appreciate it if you go). We are about to embark on some similar wedding excitement as my son is about to get married too..good luck! hugs

1 mom found this helpful
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R.B.

answers from Chicago on

Decline the invitation and wish the couple well.

1 mom found this helpful
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