Weight Gain After Birth and My Husbands Views

Dear K.,

Tell your dear husband that you are looking forward to the Nutri-System and that you have ordered him a big case of sensitivity and compassion because it's clear that he is fresh out.

Blessings…

He's being kind of a jerk, and needs to get over it. Is he super fit or something? Your main goal should be to be healthy, not a certain # of lbs. I think you'll notice the max weight loss from breastfeeding around 10 months. If you, personally want to try a "diet", eating fake food like Nutri-System is not going to make you healthy. You need extra nutrients to give to your baby while breastfeeding. I've been getting fresh produce and milk, etc. delivered from this place called Spud.com. It comes to your door once a week. No delivery fee if you spend over a certain amount. Such an easy way to eat healthier. It's definately made me eat better and fruits/veggies have so few calories you can eat a ton and fill up fast.

Any man who points out his wife's weight issues after her giving birth to his 3rd child, needs to be strangled. But since you are not going to do that, let me help.

He is doing this out of his own inadequacies and you need to join weight watcher's. You can't do anything about his inadequacies but you can do something about your weight and self-concept. My niece just gave birth 9 months ago and has 25 pounds to lose and lost 8 in the first month on weight watcher's. It is nutritionally balanced and you can still nurse if you want.

You need to tell him that you also need help around the house - unpacking, entertaining, etc.

By the way, no new mother should have to entertain anyone. If your parents and his have visited, they should be there to help you - not be entertained.

Stand your ground and give him his new chores. By the way, is he in great perfect shape???

Good Luck Sweetie and stand your ground -

+B+

Hi K.,

Welcome to the club--with each child the weight is harder to lose!

Accept the Nutri-system with a smile and a "thank you for caring about me". Fix dinner, eat, get the youngest to bed. Leave him to get the other two to bed and clean up the kitchen. You take a walk or get yourself to a gym...let him know that you know diet without exercise won't work...and thank him again for caring!

N.

P.S. Try to get another walk in during the day--with the kids.

K.,
I want to offer you encouragement and support, being as it sounds like your husband isn't. He may think he's "encouraging" you to loose weight; perhaps you can tell him how hurfull it is. Does he know that women are naturally softer and rounder, especially after giving birth to 3 kids? If you feel comfortable with wanting to loose wight, and I recamend this for health reasons and not to please him, but I had great success on Weight Watchers. I live in the sunnyvale area and there's a great leader here named Angela. Anyways, I waited a year after my first son to lose wight but when I did, I lost 56 pounds in 9 months. WW is very mindfull of mothers and has incorporates breasfeading into your plan. also kids are ok at meetings. Good luck to you and hopefully a little acceptance from your husband.

Some women go back to their size after pregnancy, some don't he should be able to understand that. I think you need to have a discussion with him. The way you look shouldn't matter, but getting back in shape is not at your disadvantage; however going on Nutri-System should be your decision not his.

Hmm. I do agree with the previous poster re. his sensitivity or lack thereof. I hope he's just as firm as when you met him... "those who live in glass houses" etc. I'd be mad too.

But two things: 1) you may want to ask your doctor about Nutrisystem while breastfeeding and 2) if your body looks like your old 150-pound body (besides the whole crazy body-fat redistribution that seems to happen after having a baby -- and I can totally relate!) you may want to speak with your doctor about where that extra 30 pounds is residing.

Your doctor may also know about local moms' groups, considering that you just moved here and it sounds like you could use a support system. Not sure where you are but most places in the Bay Area have Las Madres and I'm sure there are others.

Hi K.,

Shame on your husband! You just gave birth to his child and you are taking care of the family and all that entails. I just gave birth to my fourth child in March and I know what you are going through as far as trying to keep the household running smoothly. It's a lot of work and there is very little time for you to take care of yourself.

First things first, talk to your husband and let him know how you feel about what he is doing and saying. He may think that he is being helpful but right now you just need someone to say "I love you no matter what". Some people feel humiliation is a good motivator. It's not. It can do the opposite.

Secondly, if you want to get back to your original weight, just start by eating healthy. You shouldn't diet while you are breastfeeding because the baby takes nutrients from you and you can get sick if you don't get all the vitamins you need. But you can eat more veggies, fiber etc. Cut out the empty calories and replace them with healthy choices. I know how hard it is to fit exercise in your day but you can do things that burn calories as part of your regular activities. When you go shopping, park farther from the entrance to get more walking in. Shape magazine has really good exercise tips for busy women.

What is most important is how you feel about yourself. If you love yourself at 180 then that is awesome. If you see this as a temporary weight, then take those steps to get to your goal. What your husband is doing is wrong. He needs to support you by give you his unconditional love. If he keeps poking at you and making you feel bad he is not going to get the results he expects.

Good luck to you!