Were You Happy with Your Wedding?

Updated on April 06, 2011
S.G. asks from Fort Eustis, VA
56 answers

Rachel D.'s question, and the subsequent answers, got me thinking. I had NO IDEA so many women would be pro-elopement! I thought I was the only one. Anyway, were you happy with the size/theme/guest list at your wedding? Do you wish you had eloped (if you had a big wedding) or had a big wedding (if you had eloped)? Were there any mother-daughter wedding dramas that you regret?

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So What Happened?

Reading these responses is very interesting. I think it boils down to that my husband (well, fiance then) didn't have enough of "us" in the wedding. We were 24 and 25, respectively, and didn't have a strong feel for what we really wanted. If we could do it all over again? Las Vegas, maybe. Or, more likely, a quiet and beautiful beach...a barefoot tropical wedding would have been awesome. Ah, well, the marriage has been wonderful even if the wedding wasn't what we had in mind!

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I hate even the mention of "theme"! ((shudder, shudder))

Even more, I hate planning events! (The result of 20 years planning conventions, meetings, etc.)

We eloped. No regrets. Would do it again in a heartbeat.

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J.C.

answers from New York on

I saw a couple on a subway train on their way back from a City Hall ceremony in NYC. She was in a white gown and he was in a suit. Good for them!!

I loved my wedding! And I wish I could do it all over again. I do think it was a lot to spend but it was so worth it. Big dress, big place, big flowers, music, food, drinks! Loved every second.

4 moms found this helpful
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M.B.

answers from Lancaster on

We got married, just the two of us in Jamaica and it was perfect! We both wanted the wedding to be simple and to be about us. I never was one of those women who dreamed of a huge,fairy tale weddding, but getting married outdoors, just the two of us? For me, that was romantic.

3 moms found this helpful

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T.N.

answers from Albany on

Actually I had a very cool wedding. It's the marriage that sucked!

:)

5 moms found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

We had the BEST wedding! It was large and fancy (about 260 people at a large, renovated ballroom and courtyard here), but we all enjoyed it thoroughly! My husband and I have been married almost 11 years, but we still say that if we could get my dad to pay for it again, we would do it all over again! So many of our friends tell us it's the best wedding they've ever attended. We didn't have any drama -just fun!

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B.N.

answers from New York on

I didn't had wedding at all we marry without any wedding preparation no dress no guest ; its just some friends and simple dinner and even no wedding photos we have it was OK back then but bow when i think about it I regret taking this step im happy with my husband but i wish if i did have at least wedding picture

dont ask this it is OK be happy with your life now dont look back

3 moms found this helpful

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

I could have eloped easily, with NO problems what-so-ever! Believe it or not, Hubby was the one that wanted a 'wedding'...for his Mother---what a softy!

Planned it all myself. No Mother drama.

I had a great easy wedding, we rented a beach house and had it all there, ceremony, reception/dinner, & honeymoon! Guest list was small, 18 people total. Parents and siblings (and their families) from both our sides. That was it. Got some stunning pictures out of it too!

~The only thing I would have changed if I got to do it over again was to find a perfect small church that could have been lit completely by candles, I wanted that so badly but couldn't find one that would fit that worked for us.

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M.S.

answers from Kansas City on

We did elope, unplanned and 30 days prior to our real wedding date. So much had gone wrong that year and when our Pastor cancelled on us 30 days prior to us getting married that was it. It was a Wed., we booked our flight to Vegas, sent out postcards stating we were married, flew to Vegas and were married on Labor Day. We called family the next morning and although our Mothers were upset they did understand. It was the best and I have no regrets. We still had a lot of money invested in the wedding so we moved forward with the party where I wore my wedding dress and had a ball! Looking back I wish we would have just gone to Mexico from the beginning and avoided all the drama. However, I don't regret Vegas!!! Seven years later I am still married and we still laugh about the drama and our trip to Vegas. The best $1,000 I spent on the wedding!

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B.N.

answers from Fayetteville on

We eloped. Wished we had celebrated with friends and family later.
On the other hand, I'm kinda glad I never had to do any of the materialistic wedding dance everybody around me seems to d o when it's their turn.
I like parties and all, but it's the preparation for the MARRIAGE that needs all the planning, not the wedding.

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A.F.

answers from St. Cloud on

We had an amazing wedding! It was beautiful and special and we had a lot of people using their talents to make it over the top amazing. It was really fun to see people having such a good time. It was almost 9 years ago and people STILL talk about it! My hubby and I love watching our wedding video. I'm very glad we didn't elope. The only thing I would have changed would be having a larger location.

Nothing could ruin that day for us! Not even the girl who came and bawled through the whole ceremony, receiving line and reception because SHE wanted my hubby! Haha!

3 moms found this helpful

E.S.

answers from Dayton on

Was I happy w/ my wedding? *Sigh* No. IT. WAS. A. DISASTER.
I was only 22 when I got married and I had no idea what I really wanted.
Well, I sorta did...but funds were limited.
I have no idea why I picked the colors I did. NO IDEA. I think I was trying to make DH happy and that was really silly.
I had flowers I didn't like.
Everything I tried to convey to the ppl we hired from the florist, to the cake maker, to the photographer was a massive FAIL. No one understood my vision.
Our pictures are so horrible I can hardly look at them. They make me sick to my stomach just thinking of them.
There were so many ppl there that should not have been invited. Why did we have to invite every stinking person we knew (thanks Mom and MIL)??? So many ppl I haven't seem since or have wanted to see since.
I had lipstick all over my teeth during the recieving line.
Hideously ugly centerpieces.
4 ppl in our wedding party should have been there-4 ppl shouldn't have...
I could go on and on...but to tell the truth, I am getting that sick feeling just thinking about it. Lol.
I did/do love my dress and shoes (see 'trash the dress' post). I did look pretty.

We should have eloped and had a party afterwards. I have said that since the planning days and hold to it.

BUT! For what it's worth though my wedding may have been a dud, my marriage has been good. I'll take that anyday. :)

ETA: HAHA! I forgot about my MIL freaking out over the fact that we served champagne to toast. Lol.
Memories...ugh.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

We thought of eloping.
But I wanted my Dad especially (since he was ill), to see me get married. I was his first offspring to get married.
It was a big deal to him.

I was happy with our wedding.
It was small and intimate, outdoors. Beautiful weather, did not break the bank and it was nice.

I never, wanted a "big" wedding. Nor did my Husband.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I loved my wedding! It was picture perfect! I smiled so much my cheeks hurt for days afterward. Even the weather was perfect - not too hot, not too cold. We had 75 people at the reception. Friends, family, kids, even a few babies.
I loved my dress, but the shoes hurt my feet. I almost wish I did wedding sneakers. The cake was great, even though the frosting wasn't quite what I picked out. We danced the chicken dance (which has always been my favorite at weddings)! We did NOT do any money dance. No one went into any debt for out wedding.
It was long distance planning. The wedding was in my old home town in NY. We were living in DC and my sister was in Connecticut. My sister was my maid of honer. Told her to pick out any tea length dress she wanted with some blue in it. She picked out something that was lovely. Mom helped her pay for it. My Mom arranged the flowers and the reception. I helped my fiance pick out his tux and I got my dress - my Mom helped me find the right veil. The pictures were great and so was the video.
After all the planning when the day came I was determined to be happy with whatever happened. It was my wedding day! And I'd waited a long time for it to happen. (I was 27, my fiance was 24).
It'll be 23 years our next anniversary, and I love watching the video.
So many family members were alive that are not now.
Theme? Vision? Oh please.
I was perfectly happy just being surrounded with friends and family.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I am happy with my wedding. DH and I dropped DS off at daycare (1 at the time), went to our rabbi and had the ceremony. We called our parents afterwards. We spent the night at a nice downtown hotel after a nice dinner (DS came for dinner and hotel). No drama, no expense, no guest list. We had been together 23 years at the time. We have been together 27 years and married for 4. And, I have gotten to wear the dress several times since :)

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

We got married in a big wedding. There were 200 people there, and if the venue had room we would have invited more. We had a couple of tense moments in the planning, but truly, my wedding was one of the happiest days of my life. It was wonderful. I can't think of a single thing about it that I would do differently.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

We had a great time planning. The Wedding Ceremony was perfect and the reception lots of fun..

We planned and worked on our wedding for a year. We paid for it, we were very careful with our choices.

We made cocktail sized tamales at my grandmothers home. I will never forget her with all of the wedding party in her kitchen and she was the boss! She taught all of us how to make them.. A ton of fun.. My mom, sister and I even made homemade mints! they were amazing.

My priorities? I wanted the church packed so that as I walked up the aisle, I could see all of our loved ones. I wanted really good food and cake, so we had the most delicious food. And I wanted my husband and I to get to visit with everyone and for us to be able to enjoy each other throughout the while time. My husband says he just wanted to be able to clearly see me walk up the aisle the entire time.

The only drama was my MIL.. she was against it the entire time and could not and still cannot make a decision about anything. Anything she tried to promise, she never followed through, so we had to follow through on our own. She kept dropping bombs on us, week after week. and right before the wedding (3 minutes), she told me she did not want me to hand her, the "Rose of love "from me and her son.. It was a special rose I had carried the entire ceremony.. My husband did not know anything about this since he was already standing at the alter, but at the end of the service, I handed her that damn rose! She allowed my SIL to leave the reception after only 45 minutes to go out with friends (she was 16).

Other than MIL drama. it was perfect.

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L.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

Ive been married now since Fall of 1999. My dad paid for my wedding but gave me (us a choice)..he said "I am going to give you 12 grand for your wedding OR I will give you 6k grand to go elope and you can keep all the money to start you new life. I (being 22) chose to have the grand wedding. yeah it was fun, yes I have memories (some good some bad) but looking back I wish I would have taken the money...we are not any happier that we had a big wedding...be we 6k less in the bank.
I think the dramas are the struggles mom and daughters have...My mom and I had the drama fights when I was getting married. my mom would say "well since WE are paying for it , I want this this and this" and I would chime back "but its MY wedding..not yours" My mom wanted me to have the wedding SHE never had...and she and I are not alike so having a harpist for 3k was not a great idea in my opinion (I wanted a 3k dress ha ha)
I dont regret the drama we had, because I was happy I stood up for myself and stopped letting her walk all over me. it was really a time I stepped "out of my parents house" and into adulthood.
Now looking back, I will not do what my mom did, but I will encourage my daughter to just elope and I will give her some nice cold hard cash!! :):) Weddings are so crazy and statisticlly the dont last.

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

We had a pretty big wedding (200+ guests) and I was happy with it. There are a few things I wish I had done differently, but I never regretted having a big wedding! We also left for our honeymoon the next day and I think that was the best decision we made! I think a wedding should be fitting for the bride and groom and for some that means elopement or small wedding. I'm a big believer in do what makes you happy on your wedding day, but if you want to live it up then do!

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

oh heck no!!!

It was the second marriage for both of us!! It was an intimate affair - 40 people, including our A'cappella group - the day was rainy at first - and the colors were AMAZING!! We got married in October in New England.

We didn't have a theme - we had a PARTY!!!

No drama - just a lot of laughter and fun!! IT WAS WONDERFUL!!!

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H.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Totally...we had a ball! I was pretty much the anti-bridezilla. I let my mom have as much input as she wanted, since a) my parents were paying, and b) although I did want the wedding she did, alot of it was for her. My mom was also very careful not to hold it over my head that she was forking over the ca$h...she told me they were putting up 'x' amt of money, and it was for me to use as I saw fit. I love my husband, we were together 7 years, and always knew we would get married...then one day we decided we kinda wanted to start having babies, and next thing he had gone out and gotten the ring. Basically, we were into the party, and some details, (the dress, the DJ) but as for the rest...well I wanted food to be good, but I wasn't real concerned about it past that. I wanted pretty flowers, yeah, but beyond that, I let my mom and florist have fun creating what they liked, they ran a couple of options by me, and I chose the best. A wedding is the start of something awesome, so to be stressing out about all things related to that is crazy!
If eloping is the answer for you, then by all means, do what makes you happiest!

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K.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

My heart is very happy with my wedding. My brain says "what are you, an idiot? what a waste of $$!!" My dad gave me a large chunk of change and said "Use this to pay for your wedding, anything left over is your wedding present from us". It was a VERY generous amount. We spent most of it on our wedding, which was beautiful and lovely and memorable, etc. But, DAMN, that $$ could have been spent on much more practical things. Well, we ARE still together after almost 17yrs and going strong, so maybe it WAS money well spent...

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T.L.

answers from St. Louis on

I so badly wanted to elope, but hubby wouldn't have it. So we did the entire HUGE wedding thing. I cut off the guest list at 600 (and I'm from a small town). It was crazy. Since I am from a small town even if you don't invite people other people invite them. We had seating for the 500 who RSVP'ed and enough food for 550. We ran out of food and people at the end of the line had no place to sit so others were getting up to give them their spot. It was horrible. Granted we had a blast with everyone there, but I don't think crashing a wedding for food is very nice. The uninvited people should have waited until the meal was over.

We did have the mother-daughter drama bad enough the preacher had to step in. :) I have an awesome realtionship with my mom, but at one point it got bad all of ice figures that I didn't get to have. :(

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R.D.

answers from Richmond on

I know that NOTHING is stopping me from marrying my sweetie this coming June :) Come hell or high water (literally, our venue is on the river) I will be in that dress, with my best friend :)

Drama free's the way to be!!

My question: If you get married in the courthouse, do you still wear your dress??

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S.H.

answers from Huntsville on

Not really. We went to the courthouse, with our daughter (2 years old at the time), my parents, and a couple friends of ours. No reception, no honeymoon...

I wish we had gotten to celebrate with more family & friends. We barely even got acknowledged by family.

I guess it doesn't truly matter all that much. Maybe we can renew our vows someday.

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A.D.

answers from Norfolk on

I hadn't been planning on getting married at all, and I was never one of those girls who has always dreamed about my "big day". When we told my boyfriends' parents that I was pregnant, they called the next day saying they would be thrilled to plan our wedding in June. He hadn't even proposed! We'd been together for 3 years but marriage wasn't really on our radar. 3 years, 2 kids later---I still wish we would have just had our kids and not had an embarrassing shotgun wedding.

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A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I loved, loved, loved my big wedding. However, I was the one who was all for eloping...but hubby convinced me we needed to have one. I wouldn't change it for the world.

I took a different approach with my mom(we also were planning a wedding 700 miles apart from eachother)...there were things that hubby and I really didn't know or have a major "must do this way" attitude. So those are the things I let her make the decision on. Hubby and I said we wanted to make sure everyone ate, food was good but not overly priced...she went out and talked to caterers, did all the menu planning. I told her what kind of flowers I wanted (she's a florists) and she sent me ideas of how to do the bouquets...I liked them all let her have the final pick.

Don't get me wrong we had issues...but we each gave and took. It was probably the only time in my life that I did get along with her!

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M.V.

answers from New York on

My husband and I had a very traditional church wedding - we spent alot of time working on the ceremony itself, choosing the readings, etc., and were married by a priest who was a family friend. Our reception was in a lovely ballroom for about 125 guests. We had a buffet dinner, cake, champagne, and a string quartet playing in the background. We did not have place cards for seating, we did not do the bouquet toss or garter throw, we did not have an "announcer", there was no "theme". It was quiet and elegant and just what we wanted - which is what any wedding should be - a reflection of who you are as a couple, whether you elope or have a church wedding, or anything in between. So, yes, I was very happy with my wedding, and wouldn't have done anything differently, and that was 24 years ago :)

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L.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

Our wedding was perfect DESPITE the family drama (my parents didn't want us to get married for religious reasons--- so they refused to come or help in any way)...
My husband and I got married on the top of a mountain with 35 of our closest friends there.... and everyone camped out afterwards so the party lasted all night! We had no $$ so our friends did everything- from marrying us, taking pictures, bartending, DJing, playing guitar at the ceremony, making the cake... Even though we've since reconciled with my parents and it's sad that they weren't a part of our incredible day, I still wouldn't change it for the world. Everyone kept saying how the whole thing was totally "us".
I think it's sad when people get obsessed with the spectacle and lose sight of themselves in planning their wedding...

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I had a very traditional bride. We got married a year we graduated from college and had a big wedding. We are from the same city in FL, so we just both knew a lot of people. Between the rehearsal dinner (on a yacht), the wedding/reception, and honeymoon, about $50,000 was spent--which is average for the area where we got married. I don't regret it for a minute! We went into the marriage without a penny in debt from college and it was exactly what we both wanted. My husband had recently been commissioned in the US Army and we were moving to Germany, so we knew we wouldn't be buying a house any time soon. Ten years and three kids later, we're still going strong! But, it's what we wanted...big weddings aren't for everyone!

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C.W.

answers from Allentown on

We did not elope, but I sure wish we had.
Our "guest list" was supposed to be just our closest family and 2 or 3 close friends. We even scheduled it during the week so other people would be grateful they weren't asked to rush around after work, lol.

My mil had other ideas. When the doors opened, I saw more than twice the number I had anticipated. She went and invited guests without even asking me. A few months later, she threw us a "real" reception (we had had cake and coffee at a relatives house that evening) and then complained when we received less in gifts than she spent on the party.

I should have gone to Vegas!

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M.B.

answers from Washington DC on

I didn't have a wedding! My mom kept wanting to delay it (she was GOING to pay for it), and we just wanted to get married. So we set up a date at a courthouse. Still very happily married, 9 years later. I think TOO much emphasis is put on a wedding, too much of a big show, and it doesn't make a marriage any better. I would like to have a low-key vow renewal ceremony sometime, though. A good marriage is worth celebrating.

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J.A.

answers from Denver on

My wedding was perfect! A keg of beer, some burgers and only our closest friends and family. Cheap, simple, fun!

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H.S.

answers from Johnson City on

My wedding was perfect! My husband and I eloped (with full knowledge of our family and friends). We went to Sandals Whitehouse Resort in Jamaica, and got married on the beach at sunset. It was incredibly romantic. Our WeddingMoon is one of my fondest memories. After we returned, we had a bridal shower and wedding reception with our family and friends. It was perfect. We saved money, and enjoyed ourselves. I wouldn't change a thing.

To me, a wedding is about the husband and wife and what THEY want, not what others want. We wanted a private wedding, with just the two of us. It was amazing. Plus, we still did engagement/bridal/wedding photos before we got married, so we have just as many pictures as anyone else who did a traditional wedding - we just didn't have to deal with the stress of extended family. SO happy with my wedding! We can't wait to go back to Jamaica for our 5 year anniversary in May 2013!

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K.M.

answers from Norfolk on

I had my absolute dream wedding and so did my husband. We did it exactly the way we wanted even though people said we would later regret it. It was a beach wedding and it was casual. I didn't wear a dress and neither did my bridesmaids. My husband didn't wear a tux and neither did any of his groomsmen. He was in khaki shorts and a button/collared shirt and I wore linen pants and shirt. Our guests came in their favorite beach gear. Our food was upscale picnic style with burgers, chicken, tuna steaks, salads etc. We had a frozen drink station and lots of dancing. Our seating cards were sunglasses with the guests' name and table number written with washable marker on the lenses. My mother-in-law makes gorgeous cakes so she made us a sandcastle cake. It was very informal. If we had to do it all again we would ABSOLUTELY do it the same way. We're glad we didn't do the dog and pony show, that's just not us. We had a day that reflected who we are as a couple in every way and we had a blast! People keep asking us to have another party just like it. The fact that people are still talking about it 8 years later (and they mention it often) says to us that everyone had a good time and that's exactly what we were looking for.

M.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I just got married through the church on November 26, 2010. It was thrown together in two weeks. I was 28 weeks pregnant at the time. My hubby wanted to have the church ceremony before I gave birth so we could be ''officially married''. (We got married on July 30, 2010 through the state) I wish I could have had more time to get myself together better. Looking back I wish I had a ''big wedding''. I wasn't too happy on how I looked, didn't like how my hair turned out or makeup. I would of chosen another dress if I would of had more time to look. I just have so many regrets. We plan on having a vow renewal in five years. I will definately go all out on that one!

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

I enjoyed my wedding day, but I had a miserable engagement. Mother and MIL drama nearly ruined it. We had an 18 month engagement too because of the venue and size of our wedding. I wish my engagement were shorter and that I had not allowed everyone else to "offer" me so many of their opinions. I felt bullied a lot into making or not making certain decisions and choices, even by my maid of honor.

I have no regrets about the wedding day itself. I don't wish I had eloped.

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S.H.

answers from Richmond on

I regret all of the things that went wrong with our wedding - the biggest being that our justice of the peace forgot 1/2 of our wedding vows so we never said "I do" just "I will" to the precursor part. That still burns me up!!! I am definitely hoping for a vow renewal one day!!! I also wish I had stuck with my plan to get married several months later - I was too pressed for time and a lot of things were not done the way I would have liked. I also DEEPLY regret not pushing my mom to be more involved b/c she passed away almost a year to the day later.

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C.R.

answers from Seattle on

I would TOTALLY do small, low-key, low-budget if I had it to do over again. I was STRESSED and so was my poor husband... Haha. He ran A LOT of last minute errands for me on the day of. I was 24 and he was 30... It was all for me and he couldn't have cared less. Now I'm 30 and wouldn't care less. :)

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T.B.

answers from Miami on

What an interesting question. I am coming up on 19 years of marriage. If I could do it all over again, oh boy, would I do things differently. First of all, I was 20 when I got married. Quite young and inexperienced in the planning department. I had nobody to help me as I did all the planning myself. It was the way I wanted to it...my wedding, my way. Well, I had way too much outside influences and I resorted to giving in just to make others happy. I wish I had stuck to my guns for a lot of things. My mom and dad paid for the wedding dress so I got what my mom loved. I never was in love with my dress. I didn't have that moment you see on TV where the bride to be gets all teary eyed because she found "THE DRESS." I wanted a strapless dress but my mother said it wasn't appropriate...for a church wedding. That was mistake #1. I would have loved to get married outside but my family wanted a church wedding....so the church wedding is what I had. The wedding was at 12 noon. I wish it had been later. The reception was okay, it was where I wanted it for the most part but again, too much influence from what food I should select to "make others happy," to the guest list. I wanted a small wedding but my mother, again, told me who to invite because "so-and-so knew this person, and this person is friend's with this person, and so on."

I would not have eloped, nor would I choose to elope if given the opportunity to do it again, but no, I wasn't completely happy with my wedding.

As for the drama, my SIL and I were not friendly towards each other but she "expected" to be included in the wedding party, which I put my foot down and said, "NO." She was very angry because of it and to this day, she doesn't like me much. Oh well. My MIL and FIL promised to make our wedding the most miserable day of my life...so we had a police officer drive by the church during our ceremony to ensure that they did not show up. They were uninvited to the wedding. The MIL was secretly ushered in by my SIL, who in turn stole MY mother's corsage for the MIL, who was NOT invited or supposed to be there. Yeah, there was drama big time.

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C.T.

answers from New York on

I was TOTALLY happy with my wedding!!

What made it special for us was the focus on everyone else - we looked for a rehersal dinner space that was handicapped accessible for Hubby's grandparents. I asked the reception hall to have a highbacked arm chair for my grandfather who has bad hips and so on. With us placing so much emphasis on everyone else, I did not have time for any bridezilla moments. I also think it helped that we got married near where we were living at the time. This also cut back on bridezilla moments since there was less stress - i.e. I was not traveling 1.5 hrs home every weekend busting my chops to visit halls, meet with the minster, DJ, photographer, etc. Eveything was local to us and everyone else just had to deal.

Oh, and note I said "we" and "us" - Hubby helped out a ton!!

~C.

J.B.

answers from Houston on

We thought of eloping but decided not to because I was the only child my mother would ever see get married and my husband was the only boy of five kids of his mother and his father's only son, so we really had the wedding for our parents. Because we weren't wedding crazy, neither of us had these super high expectations and we really enjoyed the day. We are both really glad we had the wedding, it was so beautiful and our guests had a wonderful time. I remember that right before I was supposed to go out of my dressing area they came and told me the lady who was doing my flowers was stuck in traffic. I was like well, we have the church, the preacher, the bride and the groom so I guess we can make it! I just didn't sweat it bc I didn't want anything to mess up my day. In the end we had the flowers and it was lovely. So I was very happy with my wedding day :D

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T.H.

answers from Norfolk on

we eloped and i wish i'd had something. we did have a wedding partya couple months later but it was really just a get together at a resturaunts back room. i know i wouldnt have wanted anything big but something where we could have had pictures done at least.

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K.M.

answers from Memphis on

Eloping really appealed to me on some levels but I decided that I would probably regret not having a formal wedding. My wedding ended up pretty much they way I wanted. I was 34 when I married and knew what I wanted and we were paying for it ourselves. Also, we lived over 1000 miles from any of our family so mother drama was not an issue - not that there would have been much anyway. While things didn't go perfectly on the day of the wedding, it was still wonderful and we had a great time.

That being said, I have to add that there was no way that I was going to have a perfect wedding because my father died unexpectedly three months before the wedding. At that point, all the things that I thought mattered didn't anymore. Oddly enough, it took a lot of stress out of the planning.

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A.H.

answers from Chicago on

I wanted a big wedding only because both my husband and I have huge families and I wanted everyone there, and all of our friends, and their parents who were in our lives too. So it was just under 300 people.

My biggest desire for the wedding was that the reception be a kick-a&$ party. I spent a lot of time working on the food, the music, the beer/wine/liquor selection, how the guests would be greeted when they walked in, etc. Essentially I planned a HUGE party! It was perfect, perfect, couldn't have been any better at all. Loved it!!!

P.M.

answers from Tampa on

It took almost 3 years before we finally got around to getting married. First issue was he didn't want any biological children - mine from a previous relationship was enough for him. I wanted more children so I gave him a year to change his tune or I'd have to move on. He changed his mind to "If it happens it happens". Then the next roadblock was he wanted a court house wham bam - I said no. Finally he said - if it takes a wedding and reception for us to get married, then I'll do it.

WHOA!! FINALLY!!
He is the type to change his mind quickly - so within 5 weeks I had all the flowers, dresses/tux, cake, decorations, venue, invitations sent, etc and we had a wonderful wedding. About 80 ppl showed up and we all had so much fun and the pictures were great!!

I was wonderful and I'd never choose to elope because family and friend participation is very important to me. We had a perfect blend of 70% contemporary and 30% traditional. :o)

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J.C.

answers from Lincoln on

We had a very small wedding in Lake Tahoe. We were very young and invited our friends, but no extended family. My parents were there, but no grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. I regret that. We don't have any of those friends anymore (thank God), but we're closer than ever to family.
I also regret my dress. I chose the one my husband liked instead of the one I liked. I wish I would have got what I wanted and shopped with my mom instead of my husband.
One other thing. Neither of us were saved at the time so we removed God from our vows. I regret that more than anything. We do plan on having a big "wedding" on our 20th anniversary with God in the vows, the dress I choose, and all the family that can make it. :-)

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

Very happy...6 month engagement and planned a wedding for 500 people. No drama..My mom and I got along real well and I am a decisive person. Can't stand bridezillas!!!!!

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D.F.

answers from New York on

The only think I liked about my wedding was the fact that my husband showed up. My wedding dress was ruined, I hated the guests, the piano player never showed up, my maid of honor was terribly late, the photographer was overly pushy, and my MIL was being an over controlling B**ch. Yea.. sorry about all that venting. lol.

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i was very happy with it, other than being so uncomfortably, hugely pregnant, and the little closet at the courthouse in which the ceremony took place barely gave me room to turn around! we just had some family there, then some eats with a modest cake back at our apartment before we left for skyline drive for our honeymoon.
it was very low stress and no drama, which was important. we had just moved and the baby was due in a month, so i needed it to be easy.
part of me was a little wistful over not being a traditional beautiful bride, but we wouldn't have had the money for a big wedding anyway. we thought we'd go back and do it up all whoopee with a vow renewal at 10 years. then 20 years. there was always something better to spend the money on, and now it's laughable to even think about it. we're going to england this year for our 25th. i'd so much rather do that!
:) khairete
S.

M.C.

answers from Pocatello on

I loved my wedding. I was young (17), he was barely 20. For those who wonder- no, there was no baby on board, we just got married because we were madly in love and we just knew... (And we were right, we'll have our 6th anniversary this year- happy as ever!)

It was small, and sweet and simple. I planned it myself and my mom gave me a budget of $2500. We did everything simply... and we were lucky enough to be able to "call in" some favors from friends. We had a friend's family do the flowers... a freind did the photography... etc.

I had a seamstress sew me my dream wedding dress... and it was perfect and JUST as nice as a "boutique dress" - I did the decorations myself and we got our food from the grocery store instead of a fancy caterer. We had plastic wine glasses and went alcohol-free (of course). Our ceremony site was at the same place as the reception.

I wouldn't trade my small wedding for any other. All the people I wanted there were, but not every person I had ever met either. But I can say that on that day, the moment i turned the corner to walk down the aisle- there were only 2 people in the whole world from my point of view!

As far as any mom-dramas... no. My mom gave me a budget, I stuck to it... and I did whatever I wanted (pretty much). Of course, my mom has never been a very dramatic person anyways... so as long as I was practical and reasonable so was she! (although my husbands mother was a little different- yeeesh... but she IS my MIL after all LOL... ha!)

-M.

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C.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

My wedding was for my family, because, as my mother said, all of our random relatives "expected" a wedding. My parents were not supportive of us getting married, but since we were going to do it whether they liked it or not, my mom guilted me into waiting a year so she and my dad could have a wedding to invite all our relatives to. I was not close to any of these relatives (I barely knew most of them, and when I look back at my wedding album, there are so many faces I don't know) and my mom kept saying she didn't know how to plan a wedding, so she let my overbearing great-aunt who I don't like take over everything. Needless to say, I didn't feel like it was my wedding, and I didn't feel like my mom cared at all, she just wanted to fulfill an obligation.

If I could do it over, I would have had a small ceremony with close friends and family, and a dinner afterwards. Then we could've had a honeymoon and it would've been a much happier, less stressful experience. Oh, well. Maybe we can renew our vows in 20 years and it'll be a much nicer experience. :-)

J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

loved my wedding....fairy tale from start to finish.......roses thrown over us from a balcony above as we kissed, tons of special details in a historic mansion.......we're getting divorced and have been separated form 1 1/2 years.......the marriage is more impt than the wedding=) a journey i will never forget though

Updated

loved my wedding....fairy tale from start to finish.......roses thrown over us from a balcony above as we kissed, tons of special details in a historic mansion.......we're getting divorced and have been separated form 1 1/2 years.......the marriage is more impt than the wedding=) a journey i will never forget though

J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Planning the wedding actually made my mom and I closer. Of course after the wedding it didn't last, but I enjoyed that time I got with her.
Our original plan was to elope....it was my exhusband who wanted a "real" wedding. If I had it my way...I would have eloped. Looking back it was "ok" as far as theme, guest list, size...just not what I really wanted. Which is what my SO and I intend to do when we get married. He's all for driving up to Vegas. =)

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N.H.

answers from Washington DC on

My wedding was bigger than my husband (then fiance) originally wanted (240 guests vs. 125 guests) but I wouldn't have traded it for anything. I don't have any regrets because we had the best time and often talked about how much fun we had at the reception during the honeymoon. After 11 years of marriage, we still crack-up while watching our video.

That doesn't mean the planning process was always a bed of roses, there were stressful and frustrating times but when the day came, none of it mattered because we were surrounded by family and great friends that wanted nothing more than to help us celebrate one of the most memorable moments of our lives.

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S.H.

answers from Washington DC on

I loved my wedding. We got married in a Catholic Church, and had our reception at a country club. It was in July so the weather was beautiful. We had about 8 months to plan the wedding. Between the dress, photographer, videographer, flowers, decorations, everything came together perfectly. We had 125 guests. I don't know how much everything cost. My parents paid for everything. The only thing we paid for were our rings, and honeymoon. For the honeymoon, we took a Carribean cruise. Everything was perfect.

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D.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I had a "big traditional" wedding in 1997. I don't regret a thing! At our wedding I was almost 27 and Hub was 31. I knew exactly what I wanted and I was very organized and specific about the areas that truly mattered to me...photography, my dress, the actual ceremony and the celebration after. I didn't care as much about the DJ, so I passed that to my husband or the flowers, which my mother loves and has great taste about...I went with her but she did an AWESOME job picking them! My folks paid for the flowers, my dress, the videographer, and DJ. His mom paid for rehersal dinner. We paid for the rest. At the last minute my dad decided he really wanted the wedding videotaped so he hired the videographer. I'm glad to have the video (which is VHS!).

I wore my mother's dress with slight alterations to save money. Her dress was gorgeous lace..that you can't buy now without spending $10,000!

I paid a fortune for the photography and I LOVE the pics we got. My feeling was when the day is done...the pics and memories are all I have. I don't regret the $2500 I spent!

I was raised Catholic and my faith was important to me. My (now/then future) husband knew this and conceded to a full Mass despite his Protestant beliefs. I made sure to include his beliefs and songs he was familiar with. I printed out the entire Mass with instructions on when to stand, kneel, sit, etc in a program so everyone could follow along and participate. Our celebrant was a priest who had known me for 10 years and who directed the retreat program I was in as a high schooler...so he REALLY knew me and shared stories about me in HS and his time counseling us both. It was VERY personal. I received so many complements on how personal it all was and how my Jewish, Agnostic AND Protestant family and friends loved the Mass and it didn't drag on because of the personal nature. One of Hub's close friends from his church did a reading.

Because we would so little "alone" time...we met at the church 1-1/2 hour prior to the wedding and walked down the main aisle to each other. We had 20 minutes to check each other out all dressed up and share our excitement. It was awesome!! We told our photographer he was welcome to photograph us, but this was OUR time...nothing posed! These were the best pics! We then went outside the front entrance and greeted our guests eliminating the need to do a recieving line later. We had been told that you don't have guests to a celebration at your home and not greet them at the door. The Church is our home and we wanted to let our guests know how excited we were to share our day with them.

The celebration was held at a hotel with a formal sit-down dinner. I personalized each table with 5X7 frames that listed everyone at the table and how they were known to Hub and I. That sparked conversation beacuse I sat folks with those they knew or those they knew of. Folks also complemented us on that. We took private dance lessons to choreograph our first dance.

It was an AMAZING DAY! I don't regret a thing! The total cost (in 1997) was about $12,000. It was so worth it! We are still going strong almost 14 years later!

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