What Age Did Your Child Start Washing Themselves on Their Own? Bath or Shower?

Updated on July 07, 2012
M.B. asks from Occoquan, VA
25 answers

A question I just saw sparked this question. It included a 7 year old girl taking a bath... with an adult to wash them. It just striked me as different because we don't do that.

At around 5 or so, my girls learn to take showers on their own. My two older ones (7 and almost 9) like PLAYING in a bath, but it is once in a blue moon that that even occurs and when it does I have them take a shower afterwards... and this is all done separately and on their own. 5 also ends up being the age where we stop washing kids together. We have all girls, but our four girls need some time alone, privacy and independence so we have them do it alone.

We are nearby to assist if anybody needs help (like soap in the eyes or something), but really generally baths until about 5 (and then we always do a stand-up rinsing after each bath), and showers- mostly unassisted- after 5. We do let things basically go with the flow (pun intended) to get a feel of when they are ready, but it still ends up being around the same time for all of them.

SO, I know everyone is different and different things work for different families, and that is all fine and good, but I'm curious... What ages did your children start being independent in the shower/bath? Did they ever stop taking baths? also, and kids that have only taken showers?

Thanks in advance!

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B.B.

answers from New York on

My son is 4 and just recently asked to rinse the water out of his hair. He doesn't really like getting his hair washed so if I left it up to him, it would never get done or he would just poke at his head and then wash it off without working it into a lather. He also does not want to take showers, he likes baths. So I don't see him washing and bathing himself anytime before 5.

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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

My 4 year old takes her own bath. If needed, I help get behind the ears, etc., but it is mostly her own doing.

1 mom found this helpful

⊱.H.

answers from Spokane on

My 4 y/o takes baths and I help him wash up. But he is learning. I put the shampoo on his hand and he rubs it into his hair then I wash and rinse. He also washes his body with supervision and sometimes help.

My 8 y/o has been showering on his own for 2 years (but, like his brother started cleaning himself in the tub at 4). I do occasionally have to send him back in to rinse his hair again or to scrub somewhere he may have forgotten, but he is on his own. Even at 8 he sometimes asks if he can take a bath and I let him, but he has to shower after to get clean.

Quite often my 8 y/o will jump in the shower (same bathroom) while my little one is in the tub (the shower and tub in the master bathroom is separate).

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

My kids were in Kindergarten. Did I still check to make sure the shampoo was out of the hair and they were clean? yes.

When was the last time they took a bath? ooh dear...probably 5 or 6. I know I've let them sit in a warm bath if they were constipated and the warm maple syrup didn't work for them!! LOL!!!

they also started using alarm clocks in Kindergarten. Clothes are set out the night before so there is no confusion about what to wear that day.

4 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Around 4 or 5 they took baths on their own. Around 7 or 8 they started taking showers.
And I wasn't big on scrubbing them down. I figured as long as they spent at least 10 minutes with some soap/shampoo and water they were clean enough!

3 moms found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from Detroit on

My daughter has, until very recently, only done baths because she was pretty freaked out by the shower and I would help her in the tub with her hair, rinsing off, etc. She only just finally decided that showers are okay, after she got filthy dirty swimming in a lake and playing in the mud one day, and I basically made her take a shower to get clean - then she decided they were fun. She is also getting more independent and wanting to be a "big girl" about things and do them on her own, so she's wanting to just shampoo her hair herself, rinse it in the shower, and wash herself as well (I still supervise to make sure she rinses out all the shampoo enough and help her wash her back and behind). She will be turning 5 next month.

2 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Actually using soap? When they discovered the opposite sex can smell them.

Without soap, like standing in there wasting water, around four.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

My kids take a shower. They prefer showers.
They are 5 and 9. Son is 5 and daughter is 9.
They both at their given ages, can do it by themselves.
Of course I am nearby and check on my 5 year old son. And aid him with washing his hair & his back because he can't reach his back.
Sometimes they go in together. But the majority of the time they do it separately.
Our kids CAN say if they want to shower by themselves. And they do say it.

1 mom found this helpful

J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

my daughter is 5 and bathed herself since 4 and at 5 started showers and i would J. do her hair on the days in needs to be done. i figure if shes playing with the soap and water thats good enough, on days of playing in the river i might help her scrub her feet and instruct her more then J. letting her alone but for the most part she;s on her own and likes it that way

1 mom found this helpful

S.K.

answers from Denver on

My daughter is 5 and my son is 7 they both shower. My son does it on his own and has for almost a year although sometimes he gets soap in the eye or wants to know if he's got all the shampoo out so thats just a peek and and an answer. My daughter is wanting to wash herself now but her hair is quite long so i do make sure she gets enough shampoo and conditioner and gets it all lathered up well. Then to make sure that she gets it all out. But as far as a hands on shower she is doing that by herself.

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K.H.

answers from Indianapolis on

My youngest is 4 (5 in December) and wants nothing to do with a shower. She bathes by herself ( her older sisters are 9 and 12, so too old to bathe with her), but I help with hair and back. I also stay in the bathroom with her to make sure she gets everywhere else washed well. My older two were around 7 or 8 when they started showers, but weren't left alone to do it by themselves until 9. I also checked their hair to make sure they got all the soap out. My oldest has really, really thick hair and every once in a while I will still give her hair a really good scrub, just to make sure she is getting all the way to her scalp with the shampoo.

That said, it really is all about each individual child and what works for them, for your family and what they can handle. :)

1 mom found this helpful

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

your timing sounds about right - my son will be six at the end of september. he can wash and rinse himself. BUT he is a boy, and a single, so he gets quite a bit of help compared to most kids, from what i can tell. however, shower vs bath is just subjective in our house. depending on how dirty he is (needs a soak? bath) or how much time we have (in a hurry? shower) or what have you. there for awhile he was not allowed to take showers because he was making too big a mess, splashing water out. but he prefers a shower because it is more "grownup". i can't get him to take a bubble bath or use his bath colors to save my life, these days.

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

I think mine were about 6 but sometimes if I was wanting my youngest to get in and out I would have to help him or he would be in there all day. I can tell him to take a shower and it turns into a bath and an hour later he will still be in there is we let him and he's 10 now. Silly boy we have to tell him wash everything and then play cause he likes to do it the other way around. I think if we had a pool closer it would be different as he's a fish.

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S.L.

answers from Champaign on

My son is 5 and takes baths on his own for the most part. We wash his hair and his back, and oversee him washing the rest of himself to make sure he scrubs good with his loofah. If we don't watch him - he won't wash good and he's so dirty everyday from playing outside..sometimes he needs to scrub a little bit to get all the dirt off himself.

1 mom found this helpful

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

My guy turned 3 in April and bathes, he's had a couple of showers over the past few months, his choice since he didn't want a bath those times. He has his soap in mesh to wash with, I wash his face since he's not fond of doing it himself, and a light washing all over just to be sure, but he's already learning. I expect by the time he's 5 he'll be doing it on his own, and I'll let him bathe or shower, whichever he prefers.

1 mom found this helpful

N.G.

answers from Dallas on

My 8-year-old takes showers completely on her own, and has been doing so for a few years. My 5 1/2 year old on the other hand, we have to bathe her. She hates the shower, it scares her for some reason, so she only takes baths, and she has very, VERY long (down to the top of her thighs when it's wet), and very thick & full hair, so she can't wash it on her own, she needs help with that. I guess we've just gotten used to washing it & conditioning it for her, that we haven't encouraged any independence with the bathing. Now that our third child is on the way, we're going to start expecting her to take it over. I don't suspect that she'll wash her hair the way it needs to be washed though.

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

My daughter is 4 and about 3 months or so ago she started requesting showers instead of baths. I'm not sure if she was just ready or she didn't like sharing the tub with her little brother anymore or what, but she likes the shower. I still have to help her with her hair, but we're working on it! The rest of her body she does herself. Then after the shower she puts on lotion and jammies and brushes her teeth.

My little guy, 2, still wants a bath so he can play, and who can blame him really?! ;) He has showered, especially if we are at the pool or in an extreme hurry, but most of the time we let her shower first and then fill the tub for him.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

My kids were about 6 when they started washing themselves on their own completely. Before that they were able to wash their bodies independently, but not their hair. However, my daughter has recently decided that she doesn't like taking a shower for some reason and she doesn't wash properly unless we make sure that she does. We still don't do it for her, but we're back again to the " did you wash... ( all your body parts) did you wash your hair...?" I hope it's a phase!

My kids both like taking baths every once in a while but it's mostly just to play around int he water, not really to get clean.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

We were washing SD's hair for a while, but she was otherwise bathing solo by the time I met her, like 5 or 6 years old. DH would run the water at the right temp and depth and leave until hair time. Our DD will soon be 4 and she can pretty much wash except for hair care at this point. I supervise and help when necessary. She doesn't take showers b/c she doesn't like the water falling.

1 mom found this helpful

C.P.

answers from Columbia on

I assisted in the bath until about age 5. Then I assisted in the shower, giving instructions. I did that for a few months. Then I started letting them wash themselves (instructions at the beginning of the shower, and checking at the end). Did that for a few more months. Now they're 9 and 11 and shower on their own just fine, start to finish.

1 mom found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

By five our daughter was totally bathing herself.. I still went in and scrubbed her back, because she could not reach it..

Also she had a ton of thick curly hair and I had to help her wash and rinse it.

I used to always give her a wash cloth as a toddler so she could "wash herself"..

I also went in the same order of washing her in the bath.. and I said the words out loud so she would then follow along with the words as she got older..

She has never cared for showers.. she still loves baths. and she is 21.. At college she had to take showers in her dorm for all of those years, so she now thinks baths are a luxury..

1 mom found this helpful
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T.H.

answers from Norfolk on

cant really reember when the last time was that i showered with my oldest...might have been age 8. mine have very curly dry hair so i showered with her for awhile longer than i probably would have because of that. she could do it on her own at around age 6 or 7 but mainly it took longer because of her hair type. she also takes VERY long showers so taking one together speeds things up.

my youngest is 7 now and i still take showers with her although she can do it by herself. it's just faster and easier on me. i could just have her do it alone and i do at times but she mostly just takes them with me when she does.

i think iwould stop when mine told me they no longer wanted to take one with me.

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E.W.

answers from Columbus on

I personally don't believe in pushing kids to grow up faster than they are ready. So we leave it up to our kids. I washed my oldest's hair until she was almost 10 because she has unusually long very THICK hair. At that time she started preferring showers. My next is 7 and she still takes baths with her 4 year old sister and they have a blast. I help with washing and rinsing as needed. I just enjoy this time with them and don't stress about when they are ready to do it on their own. They are only little for a little while. :)

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C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

My kids are almost 3 (boy) and almost 5 (girl). I figure once she starts school in the fall, I will see if she wants to bathe alone. For now, they both enjoy bathing together and playing. I always give them the option to bathe alone and sometimes they do request that. I still wash my son and my daughter I'll wash her about 50% of the time, when she asks for help. She'll get her hair wet and even lather the shampoo in but then I assist with washing it out. She has very fine hair like me so I condition it about 1x a week (mine the same) and son's hair is very short so I don't bother.

There are even days when I put in bubbles, shaving cream, shampoo (if we are out of bubbles) and don't even require them to wash becasue they soak in there long enough that I figure they are clean! LOL

Daughter will occasionally get in the shower alone or with me. But most of the time it's a bath. And we don't bathe them every day unless they are really dirty/sweaty. It's every other day unless needed or if we have something special the next day/morning.

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