What Age Is "Too Old" to Dress Up?

Updated on April 07, 2014
K.C. asks from Irvine, CA
24 answers

I was recently re-reading an old thread where a lot of people posted that the child in question was "too old" to play dress up. I believe the child was 10 years old. Why is 10 too old and, for those who think that, what age does dressing up become in appropriate? I always thought of dress up as a very healthy form of pretend play, showing creativity and imagination, so I'm really curious (and open minded) to hear from those who think there is a cutoff point.

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So What Happened?

I'm glad to see most people believe that it's never too old to play dress up. I agree - you shouldn't wear costumes to school or work, but there is a time and a place where I think it's a GOOD thing. In the other thread, a lot of people were saying that age 10 was too old, and it had nothing to do with what the child wanted to wear. The replies were simply saying that no 10 year old should be playing dress up, period. That's why I asked this question. Hopefully some of the people who responded there will see this thread too!

Featured Answers

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I'm 45 and I still like to play dress up. As a matter of fact a girlfriend of mine recently had a "wig party" in honor of her successful battle against breast cancer and I wore a bright pink beehive wig!
You're NEVER too old IMO :-)

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

I hope you are never too old. Every time I put on a sensible suit and shoes I'm playing dress up. I pull it off really well too but it's not really me.

And we won't discuss my age.....LOL

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D.T.

answers from Muncie on

Some people never stop "playing" dress up. Halloween is a very popular holiday because it gives us grown-ups an reason to dress up as something/someone different. As grown-up we "dress- up" in different ways. The infamous little black dress, that power tie. "Costumes" come in all types. I have friends who do cos-play. It's fan based costuming mainly revolving around gaming/amine conventions.

I don't sweat it. If my daughter wants to dress up well into her adult years then I'll do my best to guide her doing so in an appropriate way.

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K.A.

answers from San Diego on

I have no cut off. My kids are what is lovingly referred to as "Faire Brats". They have grown up working Renaissance Faires. They love dressing up in faire garb. I have been working faires for years now. We also have been involved in Star Wars costuming groups. As an adult I still "play dress up".

I see nothing immature, inappropriate or wrong with a child or an adult of any age enjoying themselves, having an imagination and creativity. There is nothing wrong with having fun, no matter the age.

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C.V.

answers from Columbia on

I don't think there's anything wrong with playing dress up. I don't even think there's anything wrong with a boy or man who enjoys putting on ladies' clothes.

I do find it a bit odd that a parent would spend large sums of money on a very fancy getup for their 10 year old boy, instead of doing what most parents do when their kid wants to play wedding or princess (go to Goodwill and buy a wedding dress).

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K.C.

answers from Albany on

My answer is a little biased because it's probably my child Kasey is referring to, but yes he is 10 and he has always loved dressing up (he does prefer girls costumes and dresses, etc., and we're planning a "pretend wedding" so he can dress as the bride). 10 is certainly not too old of an age to enjoy dress-up. He has a great imagination and he has a lot of fun with it and a lot of his friends, male and female, also have fun. I can remember my brother, who is two years older than me, dressing up as an Army man and playing in the woods with his friends when they were 10 or 12 years old. My younger sister and I played dress-up till we were probably 12 or 13. A friend of mine in junior high did modeling and I'd go over to her house and we would dress up in some of the nice clothes she had. So I'm letting my son enjoy this part of childhood.

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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

If I'm thinking of the same post, the child was a 10 year old boy who was dressing up as a girl. That's not "too old" IMO, but the fact that a 10 year old boy wants to dress up as a girl probably indicates something about his sexuality.

That's not bad, Kcmomof1, but it's something to be aware of, because if it's going to be the case that your son is gay, you might want to start getting used to the idea.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I see I'm not the fist to mention Rennaissance fairs!
I love them!
Visitors (not just the actors) dress up in everything from period to fantasy costumes.
I've seen Lords and Ladies as well as fairies, wizards and Vikings.

Have you ever been to a sci-fi convention?
They are a lot of fun!
You should see some of the people in full Klingon costume.
The outfits (and makeup) can be quite expensive and elaborate.

And then there are historical battle re-enactments (Civil or Revolutionary war usually in the USA or Battle of Hastings or even ancient Roman soldiers in Europe).

There's a time and place for it but people are never too old to dress up as what ever they want!

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Most kids outgrow the desire to play dress-up by ten, but that doesn't mean that it is absolutely too old. Some kids enjoy it into their teens. It hurts no one.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Never to old, but also needs to done at appropriate times. Our daughter had a classmate that in 4th grade arrived at school in a cat costume. Face painted with whiskers. And no, it was not Halloween. Another time she came to school as a horse. Other times a "prairie girl, a space alien" but the cat was her favorite. Not every day, but out of the blue.

This child was a distraction, for so many reasons and was wearing inappropriate shoes, they had heels on them, and the students run track, every day.

This was already a child that seemed to like attention, good or bad, and from then on, she was seen as an odd duck. Our daughter was friends with her, but one day our daughter told me, "it is hard to be friends with Claire, she does these things, and then gets really mad, when people ask her why or laugh at her."

The teachers tried to work with this child. They reminded her that at school, no matter how she dressed, she would still be expected to participate in all of the activities. If she could not do these activities, because of her clothing or shoes, she would not be allowed to wear them again.

The kids learned to just ignore her. So guess whose mother was upset, because her daughter did not have friends?

The cool thing s that here in Austin, we are known for our motto, "Keep Austin Weird". But it is a fine line between just naturally being weird and trying to get attention. That is not cool.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

NEVER! Just keep it to appropriate settings, right?

As an adult, I used to LOVE dressing up for Halloween parties.
As an older teen, we 'dressed up' to go to all-age nightclubs.
As a younger teen, we'd dress up in grandmas old clothes and take pictures for fun.

I still have some wild outfits I put together when I'm at home, not representing the family out in public. It's a form of 'dress up' in a way. :) And if I'm going out to a formal gathering, it still feels a bit like playing 'dress up' because I rarely dress that way. Keep things fun!

ETA: I don't remember the original post, but as someone else suggested, fun kids 'dress up' stuff is procured from Goodwill and cheap resale shops, not brand-new. I think the most expensive thing in my costume bin is a piece of shimmery silver fabric I have used in multiple ways, and it was about $8 a yard. Got great use out of it, and it's been a cape for a 'dinosaur vampire' costume for Kiddo for Halloween.

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i know lots of people my own age and older who still play dress-up. theater, renn faires, re-enactors, and people who just like fun and flair 'dress up.'
i think it's sad that kids get cut off at any particular age.
ETA i remember the thread that spawned this, and while i applaud the openness to expression and exploration, i have to admit that i do think spending a fortune on the outfit and making a gigantic 'event' out of it is a little odd. for me this would be an afternoon event, not something involving hundreds of dollars and months of planning. it almost smacks of manipulating a child's desire to dress up and have fun into a much, much bigger thing that is more about the parent than the child.
khairete
S.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

I would never have a cut off point in my house. Dress up is pretend play, pretend play is acting. Why would anyone not encourage acting?

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Y.M.

answers from Iowa City on

Look at how popular cosplay currently is. I think that pretty well proves that dressing up doesn't have an age limit. Sure, some people think it is silly but others live for it.

My personal opinion, you are never too old to wear a costume or play a role if you so desire. I don't do the dress up thing but put no restrictions on others.

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E.T.

answers from Rochester on

I agree with most of the other posters. Dress up is fine, if it is done at appropriate times and places. Going to school dressed up on Halloween or a "spirit week" dress up day is fine, if the child/young adult is meeting school costume dress code. Just showing up any random day dressed up is not OK. However, it is not uncommon to see one of my 2nd grade student wearing his spy coat and hat to school. But it is left in his locker during instruction time. I often have elementary girls show up with headbands that look like tiaras. As long as it doesn't interfere with their learning or anyone else's I ignore it. Our nurse's office has a small supply of clothing that kids have to change into if they are wearing anything inappropriate.

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

When a child/adult is well adjusted and is not "living in the role" at the detriment of not living in this world, I have no problem with "dress up". It can be creative, fun, and it is not destructive to others. I have seen lots of 5K, 10K, and 1/2 marathons now having a theme and having dress up as part of the event.

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I.O.

answers from McAllen on

I think NEVER is too old.

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V.C.

answers from San Diego on

I agree, dress up is great fun, regardless of age. My kids talk year round about what they are going to wear for Halloween, will "practice" make up & different clothes combos, trying to see which they like best. I didn't read the thread you are talking about, but I'm wondering if it involves a boy dressing up as a girl, which tends to make people uncomfortable?

I remember when I was 13, my brother 10 & my sister 7, we put make up on my brother & he was walking around in my mom's high heels & old dress, it was hysterical! And he had the longest eye lashes, so it was fun to put eye shadow & mascara on him. I got in BIG trouble, I think the 'rents thought I would turn him gay or something. I wasn't even sure what "gay" was at the time & I don't think my bro or sis had ANY idea what they were so upset about. My little bro was & is a very "manly" man, we were just playing pretend! I think adults read way too much into innocent kids play. Plus isn't acting, theater, even sports, performances? Dressing up in a costume & playing? I don't have boys, but I don't really get not letting a kid try on a costume & pretend for a while.

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M.S.

answers from Seattle on

I don't there is a magical age where it ends, really. My nieces, ages 10 and 12, are constantly waning to borrow each others clothing to "dress up in" for school the ned day. They teenage cousins-13-17-do the same exact thing and Amira and Amina are super excited to be old enough to join them when they are old/big enough!

i think that "dress up" evolves as we gt older, and I really don't see any hard in it as longs there are rules and boundaries that are set, respected and followed when it comes to sharing clothes.

Good luck.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

I think the answer to your question is in the question. You are never to old to "play" dress up. but that is the thing. you play at home. you don't do out at school or at work etc. unless it is a job that requires it or a dress up day. a previous poster was spot on about it just being weird. my cousins daughter that I love dearly would show up to family and formal events and it was always a bet among us how she would show up. her favorite was to wear pj's and have her hair all ratty around her face with a tiara plopped in the middle. or she liked to go to school as a zombie with weird make up and what looked like fresh blood smeared on her shirt. she looked like a freak from a horror house. the school said she could not come to school like that anymore. my cousin was "that mom" who wanted to sue the school for stifling her daughters creativity. I argued with her that her daughter's creativity was causing an entire student body to not concentrate on school work because of her and if she did I would sue her for distracting the students lol. I would like to say she outgrew it. but she still shows up sometimes dressed like she's on her way to play a character in a theater production. she's not. playing dress up at home is great. playing it out in the real world not so much. (not talking about 3 year olds in tutu's and rainboots at the grocery store I'm talking about 12 year olds dressed in zombie things on their way to regular school day)

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

It's never too old! What's wrong with creative expression? Kids and adults can participate in community theater, go to costume parties for Halloween and other occasions, dress up (as mentioned below) for marathons and other races (especially for charity), and for fun! I'm Jewish, and we have the holiday of Purim (based on the Biblical book of Esther) when everyone dresses up in costumes either related to the story or totally separate. I had a great aunt who used to wear some pretty odd combinations of clothes and hats. I have a neighbor who wears a sun hat that most people would consider absolutely ridiculous. There's a whole section of the pet store that has costumes for dogs and cats. (Some might debate whether this is healthy or stressful for the animal - I think it depends on the animal's personality -- but certainly it is addressing some need in the owner for creative expression). We see people dying their hair (all, or a streak) orange, blue (think Demi Lovato), green or some other color. Think Lady Gaga and Elton John and Boy George and Cher, to name a few celebrities. I think the "no dress up" says more about the person doing the objecting than the person doing the dressing.

That said, I think schools have a right to have standards including modesty (skirt/shorts length for example, and cleavage, pants high enough that you can't see people's butts, and not promoting drug use or gangs through certain symbols or words on tshirts), but that's another category -- if you're required to be in school, you can't avoid seeing certain things, so some restrictions on individuality are necessary. So the school has to have guidelines, and kids can wear stuff at home or on the weekends that meets their parents standards, so the clothes aren't banned entirely. I think houses of worship can have standards (covered shoulders, no shorts, whatever). I think banks have a right to say you can't be in there if your features are obscured, for security reasons. I think the motor vehicle department can say that people can't wear masks that obscure their vision. But these rules have to do with safety, not with squelching creative expression.

I do think there's some value to making sure that the individual has some hold on reality, but other than that, I think it's a pretty harmless way of self-expression.

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M.B.

answers from Austin on

Heck, when my daughters were in HS, they would "dress up" their boyfriends as female! They were all part of a small group, and the guys had a ball!

(Our HS had a "Miss Anna Nueva" contest every year at the time where the jocks would have a beauty pageant and dress up as female) ......

It was amazing how good those guys looked dressed up as drag! BTW..... two of them that I still have contact with married...... not sure where the others are.... no gender identity problems there.....

I don't see a problem with dressing up.... even as the opposite sex! Dressing up is just role-playing.....

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S.H.

answers from Dallas on

Never too old to dress up.

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

My sister who is 26 is always buying "dress up" clothes at thrift stores. Its been a few years since we have done the dress up thing (im 32 on Sat) and we only really did it at my parents but never the less...

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