What Are Your Screen Time Rules

I am the type who went I notice they should be outside (beautiful day) and they have been sitting plunked down next to the wall, electronic plugged in and charging, I'll say "ok - out you go." Not if I've only walked by once. But if I've walked past a few times, they something registers in my brain and I realize they should get up and move.

Same with TV. If I go past the den and I see gaming lights going on, or a kid completely sprawled in there and has been for *too* long (which I just have an internal sensor for) then out they go.

I had boys first, so it was kind of necessary. I found they had to be active or else they got funny (one in particular). I think my kids kind of appreciate that I will step in because they end up having fun whenever I make them stop. They will actually (shocker) play together.

But I agree. If there is homework or chores or piano practice or something ... that gets done first. But it changes daily.

I mean, I have to admit, I am on this thing a lot. Too much some days. Some days not at all.

No rules. As long as homework is done, chores are done, and we aren't at soccer then they can watch the tv or play video games.
Some days it feels like they watch a lot. And some days they don't watch any.

I didn't have set limits on screen time. As long as everything she needed to do got done, it was all good.

i must say, i'd be kind of interested to see how i'd handle it today. for a lot of my boys' childhoods video games were an anomaly. (we had an atari, so that tells you something about the state of technology back then.) when they were younger i rode closer herd on them, but we were in a neighborhood full of kids, so going out to play was their default. they didn't seem to want more than an hour here and there.
when they hit the teen and tween ages we started homeschooling, and the philosophy we developed as a family was to set broad outlines and leave them to structure it, ie we'd give a week's worth of work every sunday, and they had the week to get it done. if they wanted to spread it out, or do it all at the beginning, or employ my own personal (unhappy) method of last-minute-panic, it was up to them. and they also got to structure their own screen time, which was much more nail-bitey for me than the schoolwork. because they gave themselves a lot. and a lot less outside time than my wistful idyllic self imagined they would. what kid lives on a small farm and doesn't go build tree houses and go down to the river to fish or ride a dang pony?
mine, that's who.
i won't say i didn't have my moments. from time to time i'd lose my 'let them make their own decisions and learn from their own mistakes' mindset and shriek 'DO WORKSHEETS!!! NO MORE THAN ONE HOUR OF GAMES!'
and my boys, who were (and are) patient sorts, would sigh and roll their eyes and comply until sanity returned.
because not once- not even once- did the work not get done. it could be hard for me to stay hands-off if it all got done on saturday night, but when i stuck with the deal, the deal worked.
that being said, it's a plain fact that kids in america are far more sedentary than they used to be. i think rather than limiting screen time, i'd insist on activity time, and leave them to fill the non-active time however they choose. i don't think i could resist strongly encouraging reading, though.
i dunno. both my boys (now 28 and 24) are still avid, and super-good, gamers. i think they'd both advocate for it, as during their incredibly stressful college experiences of heavy class loads and work schedules they put their very limited down time into gaming, and both say it was the best stress relief they can think of.
so for us, putting them in charge of it so long as their requirements were fulfilled was the way to go. but i wasn't perfect at implementing my own philosophy of benign neglect<G>.
khairete
S.

My son is 8... we have become less rule-oriented about media time and, because he's older, it's more about teaching responsibility and balance. Homework and chores/tasks need to be done, of course, and I also take into consideration how much exercise he's had that day, mood, (do we need to take a walk?) the time of day, and what the next transitions are like. At this point it's more about "how does media time fit into our day?" instead of "how do we accommodate this?" So, on a nice day, I might just start the morning off by saying "no media time until after lunch" so I know we'll go do something fun like scootering, playing with the neighbor kids, going for an outing, working/playing in the yard, etc.

Crappy attitude and not sick? Meh, not so much on the media time. Great, helpful day? Maybe a bit more time than usual. We also have a couple shows we like to watch as a family each weekend, too. I've found that for us, being legalistic and relying on rules doesn't allow for flexibility. So, again, the conversations around media time are focused on having balance in our day.

Oh, and enforcement? If you are not getting off the tv/computer/etc when we need to or if there's attitude, no media time for at least the next day or so. When we are out of control and letting our desire to finish a game or dvd control us, then we need to turn that around. Once the attitude changes, then privileges are resumed. Oh, and we don't have screen time before school. I might listen to NPR while making breakfast, but our focus needs to be on each other and our tasks, not tv.

Great advice below about teaching him how not to waste the screen time he does get!

Parent of an older kid (14) here. We just said from the start of school in kindergarten, no entertainment screen time on school days (Monday-Thursday). Screen time on weekends was and is flexible, depending on whether she had schoolwork to do over the weekend or stuff due on Monday. That's still pretty much how it works. Now that our daughter is a teen, there are weeknights when there is occasionally time for a half-hour show etc. and if that happens we all watch together. But she's used to it if we say, nope, not tonight, and give a reason. For the record, she's not on social media other than plain old e-mails so there's no social media screen time pulling at her--that's a whole other issue!

I think for us at least it is just easier to say that school days/nights are for schoolwork and reading (and whatever activity a kid does -- mine has dance classes several nights a week so that means there's just not time for that, schoolwork and TV/movies/games). Once your son is older and has more and more homework due, and maybe is in a time-consuming activity,you might find that allowing that one hour a night doesn't work well and has to be adjusted, maybe even night by night -- when something is due, no time; when things are light, a maximum of one hour or whatever time you set.

But at six he needs something fixed, so he knows what to expect, which is what you're doing! Just be aware that IF he finds it tough to adhere to the limit or doesn't use the time wisely, you have the option of limiting games/TV to Friday through Sunday. It can help stave off weeknight arguments, begging or attempts at negotiating (if your son would do that; some kids do, some don't). My friend's son who loved games in elementary school did a lot of pestering and begging when they first set screen time rules for him; his parents originally allowed some weeknight gaming, but ended up limiting gaming entirely to weekends, with a firm rule that he wasn't allowed to ask for game time Monday-Thursday or he'd lose weekend screen time. Sounds tough, but he really was pestering the adults to the point it was ridiculous. But a few times of losing weekend gaming and he got the message, shaped up and was fine.

Fun/entertainment/game playing are not privileges.
They are constantly earned by good behavior, getting homework and chores done.
If fun time has not been earned, then there is none.

That being said our son is very good staying on top of things and he's always been a great helper.
The quickest way to fun (for everyone) is to get the work done - and many hands make light work.
We all help with housework so no one is stuck with all the drudge work.

He gets to watch a show or two (usually on dvd) every day - but right now he's so swamped with homework (he's in 11th grade) he just doesn't have time for it.
His go to personal choice for self entertainment is reading and he always carries a book with him where ever he goes.

If you want to limit it, I would be clear with him, let him think about his shows, and then set a timer and turn the TV off at the end of that time. Teach him things like "This show is half an hour long and starts at 1:30" so he's not "wasting" his time at 1:15 on half a show he didn't want to see.

We don't have a lot of screen time rules unless she's not doing what she needs to do. No TV until after breakfast. No TV til after HW is done. That kind of thing. To do the things she wants to do, she needs to do the things she has to do first. We also limit the content.

When my SS was younger and his video games were impacting his HW, DH took the cables, til SS understood that he had to do HW first and then play his games.

When do kids have time for an hour of screen time on weekdays? By the time DS (9 yo) gets home from school (4 pm regular days, 6 pm after care days), eats a snack, plays outside, does any homework and eats dinner it is pretty much bedtime. On weekends he can have the occasional 1/2 hour of minecraft - he maybe asks every other week or so. He and DH do watch some football together on weekends so that does add a little screen time. The only screen time we did when DS was 6 was the occasional football or hockey game and he would lose interest in those after about 15-20 minutes.

We don't limit screen time. I'm working on teaching them balance. This means that they might play video games for an hour in the morning before we head out, and then another 2-3 hours in the afternoon. My oldest and I talked about it and she thinks 3 hours a day is reasonable. If I add up all my screen time, I'm probably at 3 hours, so I thought that was reasonable. Her time is probably more valuable. She plays minecraft and chats with kids across the world. Her spelling is coming along nicely :-) I'd prefer they do more like 2 hours, but I'm trying to let them find a balance for themselves.

On Saturdays and Sundays, they may sit and play all morning.

I do not limit screens with my toddler. She might do 20 minutes in the morning, but she might do 2 hours. It depends on if she wakes early and what she feels like doing. She might do another 20 minutes after lunch, or she may do 2 hours. Again, it depends. Is she tired? Would she rather watch super why than play with dolls. I let her decide, but I encourage balance. This morning she wanted to do a puzzle. Tomorrow she may want to just watch videos or play starfall. Who knows.

I should add: we are life-Learning homeschoolers, so my kids are outside almost every day for a few hours. They also do swim and judo. They get lots of physical activity, and since they aren't in school, we have lots of time. I think 2 hours of down time in the afternoon for a 7,5 and 2 year old is reasonable. They then have time for a snack, some outdoor play and some crating or art, etc.

Love the article link below. I read a few things like that a few years ago and decided to try to teach balance. It makes sense to me.

I never set time limits per se at that age. It was more a matter of if homework was done, the rooms were clean, etc. And if it was daylight, and the wasn't raining, they needed outside time each day. So if all those things were met, or would be before the day was out, then I had no problem letting them watch/play. However, if they became insolent or rude, then it was turned off and the next day (without addressing it verbally as to why) they either didn't watch/play or it was much more limited for that day.

I did notice a pattern of, the more screen time, the more sharp their tone was and the more they didn't want to be "interrupted" for things like dinner and baths. The more irritable they were in general, with each other as well.

I know families who just made it a rule that there was NO TV during the school week. Only weekends. Then there never was a debate or problem with how much or "it's time to turn it off" issues. It didn't happen M-Th.

Later, when grades became a bigger issue for one of my kids (late elementary) he had to earn screen time. He could use it however he wanted (movies, TV, video games) with the same sorts of rules (homework had to be complete first, etc), but he earned the time. Every grade he made counted towards time. Each "C" was neutral. Each "B" earned 15 minutes. Each "A" earned 30 minutes. Each "D" deducted 15 minutes. Each "F" deducted 30 minutes. or something like that... I don't remember exactly. But in elementary grades, they got a LOT of grades each week compared to middle and high school. Sometimes 8-10 grades. So he *could* earn up to 6 hours each week (or more, depending). Or not, if he didn't apply himself and work hard. And he was allowed to bank time, so if he wanted to watch a movie, but only got 5 grades that week and only earned an hour of time, he could add it to a running total until he had enough time to watch a movie, if that is how he wanted to use the time. We counted all movies as 2 hours (unless it was less than that in actuality).

This system worked pretty well. He restricted himself from using too much mindlessly, b/c he wanted to play video games on the weekend or with friends, or watch a movie. So he didn't waste it without thinking about it.

It can become a chore to keep up with, depending upon how communication is handled with the school, but if you are up for it, I found it to be an excellent solution to screen time. (and an encouragement for better grades). BUT, you have to know your child and what they are capable of before you set up the scale/rules. You want the rules to allow them to achieve what you are ok with them achieving, and yet not make them feel like failures for not ever being able to get what they want out of the system. Don't set them up to fail. Set them up to be rewarded for quality work effort. :)

We do a system here by which they "pay" for screen time unless it's school related. The work they do earns them chips & they can choose whether to cash those chips in for screen time or real money - their choice. Different colored chips give them different amounts of screen time/money so they have to decide what is more important to them at that particular time.
I will say that as a family we tend to watch tv more when Daddy is home since he enjoys watching different things & we rarely watch at all with just me since I typically don't enjoy having the tv on at all.
Rather than saying "NO" all the time about screens it's more of an idea that there are more important things to do than stare at a screen. We are huge fans of outdoor, unstructured play and place a huge priority on that as opposed to screens. Did you know that "the average North American child currently spends seven to ten hours each day staring at screens, and mere minutes engaged in unstructured play outdoors?" (I've heard this a number of times & it was recently reconfirmed in How To Raise a Wild Child by Scott Sampson).
Anyway, that's our choice & every family is different!

May Grace & Peace be yours in abundance!

p.s. I know when talking about being outdoors for significant times people always bring up the weather in their region & how it's not feasible. We're also fans of the saying that "there is no bad weather, just inappropriate clothing & gear"

Mine is a little older, 8 and in 3rd grade. So the screen time thing somewhat solved itself because we don't get home till 6:00 from after care and work, and then he usually has homework, dinner, shower, and bed by 8:00. I haven't specifically forbade screen time during the week, but I have deftly maneuvered us out of it for the most part (he has ADHD so he's easily distracted lol, what can I say.) I encourage him to go outside for 30 minutes if he has free time.

On the weekends, as long as chores and homework are done, I try not to limit it too much at all, really. I will cut him off after a couple hours and kick him outside, but between meals, family stuff, errands...there aren't many times he's on it for more than a couple hours anyway.

Our situation is unique (as are all kids and all families). One reason I try to be liberal with it is because he has such a hard time socially, and it's not a "he needs to be around kids more" kind of way - it's in a physically draining, emotionally stressful way. So playing video games is really one of the few times he's truly carefree and completely happy. But I still try not to let him depend on them too much. He has legos, books, etc, that he can do as well.

My answer may be a little different from most because we homeschool, and we use our computers a lot for school. My kids get one hour maximum of discretionary screen time per day for watching/gaming, TV and computer combined, after all other responsibilities have been effectively handled. They are 11 and 14.

They use their computers for school/creating/coding anywhere from 1 to 4 hours a day. Four hours is not our usual, but since my daughter is involved in a game design apprenticeship, it does happen sometimes. We break things up so that they are not sitting for more than an hour. Every hour onscreen has to be balanced with a minimum of 10 minutes of movement - playing, dancing, biking, climbing trees, etc. My kids also spend about an hour a day on chores indoors and out.

I was very lenient with screen time over the summer. My daughter went to day camp for up to 9 hours a day and it was all screen-free. So when she got home, she could use her i-ad or watch TV at will. Plus a 1/2 hour of reading time.

Now that school has started, no iPad during the week. She gets home around 6PM and does her homework. She then showers, eats dinner, and reads. If she has a little time, I'll let her use the iPad for a 1/2 an hour. But she has to have prepared herself for the next day. Some days she has had time to use it, other days, add in sports and activities and she simply doesn't have the time. Tonight since it's Friday we have some errands to do and then she can use it if she'd like.

TV - We are all engulfed in AGT and Ninja Warrior. When those end, she will not be watching TV for more than a 1/2 hour per day.

Mine only get screen time when there is nothing better to do, so I make sure there is plenty of other things to do. Between school, after school activities, homework and chores there just isn't a lot of spare time for screen time. At that age I made my kids play outside for at least an hour a day.

We don't have rules about it. If they aren't supposed to be doing anything else they can watch TV or be online.

My bff has 2 kids and she limits their screen and online activities and when they come to my house for the weekend or something they very nearly sit and drool and never move from in front of the TV.

Limiting things makes it more desirable. Our kids watch here and there and run off to go play, ride bikes, make mud and get filthy, and have a darn good time. Meanwhile the TV and computers are all on and they come and go, watch a few minutes and then run off.

He is lucky. I don't really allow any screen time during the week and she is too busy during the weekend. If we watch something it is usually a movie.

Screen time makes her go into a zone that she cannot pull herself out of, so I just pick up the remote and turn it off.

Video games?
School, homework, chores & sports are the priority.
If there's extra time, he's allowed to fill as he chooses.
BUT he's not excessive about gaming.
He's got a friend who is banned from Xbox Mon-Thursday because he IS obsessed. And his grades were suffering.
Kids are all different.
Mine would rather be outside with his buddies.
TV? It's fine before bed, again if all other work is finished.
At 6, I did limit video games more, maybe an hour per day for Xbox.

My kids are almost 13 and 16. After school they MUST do their homework and chores first. Then they can go on electronics. We have dinner together so they take a break for dinner. They are off at 7:30. Weekends depend on what we are doing but if we feel like they are on too long we just tell them to get off and do something, and they do. Good luck.

Mine are 8 and 10. During the week it kinda takes care of itself. After school and homework and activities...there is maybe an hour tops they can play video games or watch tv.

One of my kids has sleep trouble so all screens have to be off an hour before bedtime. That helps too.

Weekends are a toss up...if we are busy they don't get much time, but if we are home they could watch/play a few hours.

Screen time and technology are not the problem .... Moderation and balance are ... I love this article.

http://letslassothemoon.com/2015/08/26/limit-screen-time/

one show on weekdays. two on weekends and days of no school. (if he picks a movie on a weeknight he forfits the ability to watch the whole thing due to time) usualy he picks a half hour long show.
he gets his show taken away for misbehaviors too so somedays he gets no tv at all.

We only do TV time after all homework is done, after dinner, and after shower is done (basically, if you have all of your stuff done and it isn't bedtime yet, you can watch TV). This usually leaves about 1/2 hr of TV during the week - depending on what is going on. We don't allow video games at all now (our two youngest sons have mental health issues that video games make worse) - when we did, they could do either the TV time OR the video games time - not both. I keep the remote in the kitchen drawer and set it out after dinner with the understanding that it cannot be used until all your stuff is done. I can say that generally the TV is not even turned on most nights.

On the weekends, generally we allow up to 3 hrs of TV time per day, but that is the max and most weekends it isn't turned on at all. However, that leaves enough time for 1 movie and 1 TV show. Again, I keep the remote in the kitchen and bring it out when TV time is allowed.

When our youngest two were still allowed video games, we had the timers right on the equipment that locked them out after so much time. I don't think they offer this on DS equipment but they had tablets that had that software.

Good luck - this is a great age to start thinking about what rules you would like to have!

mine is 14. he get's one hour on school days for games and then we settle in for about 1/2 an hour for tv before bed. he's not allowed his phone overnight in his room. weekends? we are more lenient but we prioritize homework, chores and social interaction with his friends, so he usually clocks in around 2 hours sat and 2 hours sunday. i'm sorry but i don't recall what we allowed at 6 but i'm sure it was less, especially on the weekends.

as far as enforcement? if he wants to keep his computer privileges (sp) then he needs to follow the rules to do that. This may be a provocative statement but it's our leverage with him. behave yourself and you keep all your perks....pull some hormonally driven, disrespectful, head bobbin nonsense??? and, oh yeah, I think the garage needs a good once over.

He's a great kid and we haven't had to resort to such tactics in quite some time.

And I understand what you mean by that slippery slope, especially over the summer. :-) S.

Now that school has started back up, they're not allowed to watch it in the morning before school. I tell them to just play with their toys or look at books, they're 5 and 7. They get home from after school care around 4:45, they can choose to play inside with their toys or go outside and play. We eat dinner at 6 and then it's shower and get into pj's. My 7 year old reads to me and my 5 year old for 20-min. or so. Then they are allowed maybe 20-30 min. of a show on their tablet. Once homework starts up I'm not sure they'll even get that. I like them to be in bed by 8:00 at the latest.
On the weekends, I'm fine with them watching Sat. AM cartoons.

No screen time between breakfast and dinner. And then only if homework is done.