What Is Your Bedtime Routine for Your 2 Year Old?

Updated on May 02, 2009
J.K. asks from Marblehead, MA
14 answers

My daughter is almost two and I need to come up with a new bedtime routine. Right now we give her a bath, put her in pajamas, give her some milk, brush her teeth, then sing to her while she gets sleepy in her crib. It has been taking her a long time to fall asleep as I think we relay on her getting tired from her milk, which doesn't happen anymore now that she is older. It has been taking her 30-60 minutes to fall asleep. Any suggestions of a good bedtime routine that will help her get sleepy and know it's bedtime? (I should mention that reading books isn't an option right now - she refuses to let us read anything to her, and instead reads outloud herself, which always gets her very energized!)

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A.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Instead of changing her nighttime routine, what about her daytime routine? Has that changed? I found increasing daytime activity as they age actually made my children welcome bedtime, and I didn't have to push it back. In addition to the milk, she might need something a little heavier to help her fall off to sleep and stay asleep.

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K.S.

answers from Washington DC on

your routine sounds fine. make sure she has an activity in the evening to tire her out. maybe push her bedtime out by 20minutes. kids require less sleep when they get older sometimes or maybe she is just going thru a change. so if you put her down at 8:00, try 8:30, maybe she just isnt ready for bed.

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S.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi,
My daughter is 2 1/2 but I have been reading to her since she was 2 or younger. She loves it when I read to her every night at bedtime. Then she reads to me. Well you know what I mean? lol. It is very good for them when you read to them. It helps them learn new words and so forth. You will probably hear alot of this from other moms. I hope this helps. You have a GREAT Day.
S.

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A.C.

answers from Washington DC on

We started a big boy routine at bedtime when it started taking forever to fall asleep at bedtime and when he started having trouble with naps. I put a small tableside lamp next to his bed and box of books(the decorative kind) that he picked out in advance. We told him he did not have to go to sleep but he did have to have to turn the light out when he was tired of reading. In the beginning he would fall asleep before turning out the light, but eventually took on the responsibility. He is five now and we will use the same routine except we put a limit on how many he can read- like, three books and then lights out. It worked for us. Good luck!

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G.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I think we have the same 2 yr old. We have the same routine and she takes FOREVER to fall asleep. She also would not go to sleep for anyone but me. Having another person do it would only prolong things and get her upset and wound up! A lot of books suggest a lovey, like a blanket or doll. Mine doesn't accept anything. She's also one that liked to fall asleep with milk. (We nursed till 2 months ago) If she asks for milk, I do let her have a sippy cup of water. The kind that doesn't leak. She will drink some and hug it for a while, then ask me to put it on her night stand. And repeat that for 3-5 times. Well, tonight she only did that once so maybe she's getting better. We also sing ABC's very slowly and this song that includes everybody in our family and extended family. I think it helps her like how counting sheep help some people. I also sometimes count with her. But according to Elizabeth Pantley (author of the No-Cry series), the bedtime routine should start 60 mins before you need her in bed because that's how long it will take.

There are many factors to why a child takes a long time to fall asleep like eating stimulating foods too late at night, not having enough food/water, nap situations, etc. But overall, I think what you're doing is great and it's normal for her to take that long to fall asleep especially since she is not used to not having the milk. If that's the case, it'll get better as she gets used to it not relying on the milk. Sometimes it takes me that long to fall asleep too.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Our bedtime is similar. Once she's in her pjs, we sit quitely in her room. If she's not tired, i ask her to quietly listen for a sound, or noise like the train, a firetruck siren, the rain... that usually calms her down.
Things that won't stimulate her.
M.

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S.K.

answers from Washington DC on

Our bedtime routine is similar, bath, jammies, brush teeth, rock in the chair and say prayers, get into the crib and hugs and kisses. Our daughter takes anywhere from 10 minutes to and hour and a half to fall full asleep after that. She plays in her crib, sings songs, talks about her day, counts, says her ABCs, etc. and eventually calms herself down to sleep. Occassionally she procrastinates and comes up with excuses to get her back out of the crib and do part of the the routine again: "Need a diaper change, need motrin for teeth, need water" and if we get her up we will rock again for a short time (1-2 minutes max) and then hugs and kisses and crib again. We try to keep the routine and time consistent unless she has taken a really long, late nap then we may put her down a bit later. I think she just needs quiet, private, unwinding time before she falls asleep so we let her talk and sing herself to sleep. Good luck!

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R.H.

answers from Norfolk on

30 to 60 min. is normal. But it also depends on what time you are starting the getting ready for bed thing. Our routine has always been from birth on up until now (she's 6yrs old) At 6pm i start getting her ready we make sure dinner is done by 6pm. at 6pm i put her in the bath and she gets to play for nearly as long as she wants. I think this does alot in it's self she seems to sleep better when she's had a bath than when she hasn't. When she gets out we normally have a snack. Than at 7pm we start in her room. I go in and stay pick a book. (i don't agree with not reading) You start them as early as possible. If they don't want to set than the book it's good enough. Find a book they are interested in. Go to the library and let them help even at 2yrs old they can help. You know what they are interested in. Chose by subject and what provides you with alot to point and talk about more than actual reading content. I read 2 books and only two. I never read more. If they are not listening and wanting to get up.... books are done and bed time comes quicker. When I'm done with the books. (At his age) I would rock and sing a song (2 songs and only 2 no more) If you let them choose the amount of songs and books or change them they know they can and they will fight you about how many in order to stretch the time out as far as they can. So two of each is my limit. When I'm done singing it's bed time. I ask if they need to go potty and than lay down cover up kiss and hug. Bring a sip of water if she asks and i leave. I don't come back for anything. If you give in one time they know you can and choose not too. So they will try to get you to because they know there is a trigger and want to know what it is...
Good luck

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R.S.

answers from Washington DC on

My 18 month old doesn't really act sleepy unless he's over-tired. his routine is tooth brushing, bath, pajamas, hugs, into the crib. We kiss him goodnight, and leave. We'll hear him playing in there for 15-30 minutes, sometimes even longer before he falls asleep, but he's soothing himself to sleep, so we're quite happy with it.

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C.J.

answers from Washington DC on

you have received some great advice. i just wanted to add that we always end with the same book (the first two change). i have read goodnight moon over 800 times. not exaggerating. also, since you can't read books maybe tell her a story. my daughter likes to hear stories about her as a baby or me as a kid while we snuggle in the almost dark. good luck!

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T.W.

answers from Washington DC on

Our little girl is 2 1/2 and her routine has been the same since she was born(well times have changed). I give 10min warning, then up to bath, brush teeth, put on pj's, give everyone a kiss and hug and read a book IN BED. from there I leave the room and do not return(that she sees). Since this is the ALL THE TIME ROUTINE she know's its coming and is ready. We never have night time issues.
T.

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D.S.

answers from Richmond on

Mine are all grown up now but I have a few suggestions for her try giving her bath 30 minutes earlier. Rub her all over with a lotion like a soothing massage. MAKE sure all lights are out in her room but a night light as our body uses melatonin to keep her sleep cycle correct and if theres lights her brain is telling her its daytime. Lights out tells her brain bedtime.Sing softly with her together. Dont give her any caffein 3 hours before bedtime and any extreme exercises will keep her from getting tired. I use to think that well I'll let them run until theyre tired it's just the opposite. Good luck and savor each and every minute with them as they are 18 before you know it!!! Have a blessed day!

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L.N.

answers from Washington DC on

Our bedtime routine for my 16 month old is very similar to yours. He brushes teeth, gets a bath, PJs, story in dimly lit room, then one song. We kiss him, say goodnight and leave the room immediately. He's had this routine almost from the beginning (with the exception of adding milk when he was younger), but he does not fall asleep right away. It usually takes him around 20-30 minutes to fall asleep and occassionally more. I don't think that is unusual. He plays and talks to himself and rolls around in his crib. I wasn't clear from your question if the problem is just that she doesn't fall asleep right away or that you are singing to her until she does, so you're spending an hour of your evening putting her to bed. Anyway, if it's the former I wouldn't worry about it as I think it's normal to take a little while to fall asleep. If it's the latter I would try leaving her right away after one song (though I would probably tell her she only gets one tonight) and see if she's okay playing in her crib until she's sleepy. If that's not an option because she cries then I would try sitting in a chair next to her crib and singing to her like normal, but each night move the chair a little further away from her and closer to the door until you're out of the room. Another option might be playing a CD of lullabies so she's still getting the songs, but you can leave. Well, good luck.

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T.D.

answers from Lynchburg on

I find the thing that helped both my kids to sleep at night wasn't what we did at the bedtime routine but what we did in the early afternoon. I found out that if I took my kids outside for about 30 minutes in the early afternoon, they slept better at night. Also, giving my daughter milk kept her awake instead of putting her to sleep. Here's another tip a grandmother gave me that worked like a charm (it's controversial though!) - put a tablespoon of black caffeinated coffee in her milk and she will go to sleep. It has the opposite effect on babies and small children that it does on adults. It worked for my daughter when I was really desperate!

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