Whats the Best Possible Way to Help an over Weight Teen Lose Weight?

my first thought was walk with her. remove all the junk from the house. i myself was almost this big at 14, and it only got worse. she needs to start a healthy lifestyle of exercise every day, NOW. if she isn't in a sport and isn't interested, you need to get her exercising, and just like the rest of us, she needs to accept this is a necessary part of life. the best way to do that is to model the same. trust me. i grew up fat and it was awful. BUT i had a mom that walked every day and now in my 30's i have discovered it's not the evil i used to think. i only wish she had pushed me more to join her when i was younger. but at least i had a good role model. without seeing her do it every day i probably would never have thought it was as "normal" as it is. as it should be. human beings need physical activity.

Are there any sports like classes she might like? I like belly dance but it M. too "sexy" for her age. Yoga M. be fun too.

Is this something she wants or something you are pushing on her?

I think the best and only way is to get the whole family active. If the whole family is participating than she will not feel singled out and I am sure everyone could stand to be more active.

How about getting both YOU and HER a gym membership? Make it your girl time to spend together two to three times a week.

Has she been tested for polycystic ovary syndrom? My daughter has it and it causes weight issues as well as heart problems and diabetes. A woman with PCOS has a much higher chance to develop diabetes and heart issues and infertility.
I have ask how is your weight? Is her dad overweight? If either of you are a battling a weight issue it will be easier for the over weight person to start a conversation. Something like "Honey, I took a look in the mirror today and I need to lose some weight; would you help me? I am getting rid of all snack foods and gonna eat only fruit and low fat yorgert for snacks. And I am gonna start walking every afternoon before (or after) dinner. Please come with me-- I really need a cheerleader and you are perfect." Hopefully this will open up a conversation about weight and healthy eating and exercise. Always reassure her that she is beautiful no matter her size but she also needs to be healthy. Help her set goals, 10-15 lbs by Valentines Day and she can get a new outfit or pair of shoes. 20-25 lbs by Easter and more new clothes and shoes and maybe a hair cut. Decide what is a healthy weight for her and have that as a goal by Memorial day. If she loses 40 lbs she should be in decent shape, and end of May is a good time for her to be able to rock and new swim suit. Remember that all weight loss involves plateaus--and that is sooo frustrating. Sometimes you feel that if you ate soup with a fork you'd gain weight. She may also need to do firming/toning exercises for her tummy, legs and arms. The weight may come off but the skin will sag and she will get discouraged.
Keep reminding her that yes looks are important but HEALTHY is what is really important. She is already beautiful, now she needs to be healthy.

At this height and weight, your SD is obese. This is no longer just a "get a gym membership" situation. Is she being seen by a pediatrician? As her stepmother, do you have the ability to take her to see a pediatrician and a nutritionist? This is a health issue. If she had any other illness, you would take her to a specialist. If she does develop diabetes, which many obese young (and old) people do, you won't hesitate to take her to the appropriate doctor, I'm sure. Why do you hesitate to address the health issue of obesity by seeing an appropriate doctor?

remove all junk food from the house. Purchase healthy choices only.

Be very careful in your approach with her....you will probably push her into defiance. That's how the teen mind works...unfortunately/sadly.

Make it a group effort...a New Year's resolution for the entire family to begin walking together. Do the Wii regularly. Anything to get everybody moving ....together.....so she's not singled out.

14 is a very tender and difficult age.
You say you have had a heart to heart with her.
How did she take it?
You have to be very careful that your attempts to help don't come off a different way. If she is already feeling insecure, it could make it worse.
What does her pediatrician say about her weight?
I ask this because my friend's son who was overweight developed diabetes. He is now very slim and healthy although insulin dependent. His life revolves around healthy nutrition and it wasn't easy at first. He hated it.
Maybe you can contact a nutritionist. There are a couple of facts that you know. Height and weight.
I will attach a link to a Body Mass Index Calculator.
It's just a tool.
I do think that a nutritionist might be able to help you understand which foods in combination are good for her as opposed to being converted to sugars or fats.
Exercise is always a good thing.
Walking, aerobics, having gym time. Swimming and roller skating or riding bikes is good.
The reason I say to contact the pediatrician first for a referral to a nutritionist is that you don't want to put too much focus on the weight to the point that it's perceived as an uncontrollable fact of life which can get even worse.
I've had overweight friends who don't appreciate their doctors telling them to make changes and they actually over eat more. Then they feel guilty and more embarrassed.
It can be a slippery slope.
Especially in the teenage years.
Like you said, genetics may be a part of it and in that case being healthy at a certain size is not the worst thing.
Focusing too much on body image can boomerang.

It's possible to be healthy in different sizes. It's possible to be beautiful in different sizes.
I would contact a nutritionist. I really would.

Here is the link:
http://apps.nccd.cdc.gov/dnpabmi/Calculator.aspx

Best wishes.

I like B.D.'s response. If you make it an initiative to get the whoel family healthy and active, she won't feel so singled out. Plus, she'll have support system in the sense that everyone else is eating and doing what she needs to do. Good luck.

How about ice skating? Having dance contests in the house are fun. It is hard in the winter. I would say riding bikes and roller skating. I dont know what your weather is right now. You can make up things like who can jump rope the longest, who can do the most jumping jacks? Have little gifts like nail polish, funky socks, hair clips.... those kind of things for the winner :)

Where are the other parents in this? Is her mom the type to sabatage a weight loss program or support her? What about dad?

Is there more you can do as a family? Maybe get a kinect and to those dance games? Friends of mine deliberately bought the dance games for weightloss and I've done a few rounds and wow, it's a workout, but it's fun. I think at 14 it can't be a punishment or seem like one. Get the whole family out moving. Try new things WITH her. Do you have an ice rink, or indoor pool nearby? If you have a roller rink that does cheesy 80s night or something, invite her friends and go be ridiculous vs focusing on the physical aspect.

At about that age, my stepdaughter got into musical theatre where they do a lot of dancing. Before that we were looking at her and thinking, "Maybe we shouldn't buy so many cookies..." since that's all she was eating for lunches. This year she took zumba and yoga for gym credits and is loving it and I love the fact that she's happy in her abilities vs just focused on weight. She'll never be a waif, and that's fine. But she's healthy.

What is she good at ? Is she using food for comfort? maybe it's a slef esteem issue?
You could suggest that you want to spend time with her teaching her how to cook as a 'life tool' for when she leaves home and try and find healthier recipes that she likes and you can cook together.
Get the family involved in your new health kick and see if it's possible to all go for a walk after dinner ? At 14 she should be doing some kind of exercise. If she's not doing it at 14 it's most unlikely she will embrace exercise as a weight loss tool when she is an adult.
Keep searching the Internet; I'm guessing you will be able to find lots of helpful advice.
Great suggestion from other ladies below to join a class together. She is less likely to think your judging her if she knows you really care about her.
Good luck

Unfortunately, there is no easy way to help anyone lose weight. I've struggled with weight for most of my life and having my mom say "let's lose weight" just made me feel worse. I became so self conscious about my weight that even when I was thin, I felt large. Basically my "mirror" showed huge no matter what my actual size was. If your stepdaughter has reached out to you for help, then definitely try to help her lose weight. If not, just model healthy eating and try to help her find hobbies interests etc that involve physical activity. If the whole family is healthier, it will wear off on her. If she is already self conscious about her size, she might be reluctant to join organized activities with her peers. With that said, you might be able to get her into an activity away from her school. I used to play volleyball at the YMCA where I didn't know anyone and wasn't as worried about what I looked like or how I played. There are also several dance, aerobics classes where teens can exercise with adults. I took a few zumba classes last winter/spring and ages spanned from high school to 60+. Some people were fit, some weren't. Everyone focused on what he/she could do and didn't worry about others. An environment like that is much better for a self conscious teen. Good luck to your stepdaughter!

I bought our family tennis rackets for Christmas. Cheap fun. We cant wait to go play.

Do NOT take her to a specialist, you should not even point out or say anything to her that will make her self-conscious. What you say now will stay with her for life. You can talk about being healthy (you say this to everyone in the house at the same time, do not pick her out and do this) and that you hope the whole family can eat more fruits/veggies every day, etc. Get the Weight Watchers books, start cooking stuff from there for her. Tell her You are going on Weight Watchers and would it be possible that she can support you by doing it together ? See what she says.

Whatever you do don't make her feel bad about her weight, you will ruin her self-esteem and self-worth. She is not obese, slightly overweight, but do not focus so much on this, focus on her positive traits. Also, if this weight issue is only an issue to your (and she is not aware of it) do not do anything other than keep healthy things in your house (and keep the junk out). If she comes to you about this and wants to lose weight then tell her you would love to help and start Weight Watchers with her. It will help her learn to eat correct portions and the proper foods (and easy to count the points).

She does not need a therapist/specialist or whatever else you are thinking. I know of some nutty mothers out there, one of my daughter's friends at school has one, the girl looks anorexic and her mother keeps starving her, never packing her a lunch, telling her she still needs to lose 5 more pounds, all this girl does is talk about her weight and she is obsessed with this. I am disgusted that this mother emotionally has abused her daughter like this. Don't ever become the parent who needs to have her daughter look like a cover model, those mothers should never have been allowed to have children.

Do it with her - so walk together, play active games together, etc.

serve proper proportions and restrict junk stuff from being available at all (don't buy it!!)

set a timer - after she finishes her food, have her set a timer for 20 minutes. During that 20 minutes she should do stuff, if after the timer goes off she is still hungry she can get more

Start exercising together. Go to a gym and see a personal trainer to get tips on what will work for your body types. Once you learn what exercises you can and should be doing for your body, you can figure out things that can be done at home or outside without the cost of a gym membership.

Start going for family walks. They don't have to be long ones, 15 mins or so a few times a week.

Start parking a bit further at the grocery store.

You can have a nutritionist come to your home and give your pantry a makeover, help with meal plans, etc.

My SD went to her family dr and asked what she could do to get to a healthier weight. He gave her basic guidelines (I'm sure the same stuff she's heard before in health and from us) but because it came from the dr. she could "trust" it more. She started making the decisions about what she would and would not eat based on that. We also taught her to read the nutrition labels and understand how it factored into her daily intake. Dr can give her what her caloric intake should be and she can take control of it, including factoring in excercise. Having the tools and understanding how to use them is empowering. If she knows how many calories she is burning with a variety of activities, she can choose which she would like to do. It also helps to know that you can have a cookie or whatever so long as you do the extra work to balance the extra calories. It becomes less of a emotional issue when you have choices that make you feel like you have control over it.

Make sure that even with healthy food she is only eating one plate of food. If she wants a second one, have her wait 30 mins after her first one. It gives the brain time to register that its full and changes are she wont want the second one.

Then just start moving with her. A 30 min walk or bike ride. Not only is this getting her moving but it will be a free way to spend some one on one time with her. I think a gym membership will back fire and its putting more focus on her weight, plus not too many kids like the gym. You don't want her to turn away from excerise. Is there a ymca or boys/ girls club near you that you could get a membership to? There you could go swimming and do other things that she would be active with. If she likes to dance you could look into Zumba. The classes start out slow and its fun and up beat.