When Shall I Let My Kid Use Smartphone or Tablet?

Updated on February 05, 2016
K.N. asks from Great Falls, VA
13 answers

I have 6 year old daughter and 8 year old son and they want to have smartphone of their own. I'm not letting them have one yet, but it's hard to say NO when they want my tablet, especially when I'm busy. I let them play some games and watch cartoons but wanna know how other parents are doing.

My question is
1. Do you let your child play smartphone/tablet to keep them busy?
2. How long should I let them play?
3. How far should I let them use them? Shall I let them have email account or web surfing?

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

My kid got a smart phone when she had a job and could pay the bill herself.
I wouldn't let any kid play with any item costing several hundred dollars without supervision.

1 mom found this helpful

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Our son was in 8th grade before he got a phone - a basic phone for calling/texting us.
He got a tablet when he turned 16.
NONE of us have smart phones.

I look at it this way.
They only have a short amount of time to run and play.
With school using computers more and most jobs requiring lots of computers - they got their whole life ahead of them to sit and hunch over and compute their way into retirement.
They'll form permanent butt grooves in your couch.

For right now - they are kids!
They need to go climb a tree, ride a bike, play in a mud puddle, pet cows - there are so many things kids SHOULD be doing that aren't computer related.
They are going to get all the computer exposure they need plenty soon enough.
It doesn't need to start right now.

5 moms found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Portland on

There's been a lot of these kinds of questions in the last week or so - how much we let our kids use electronics and how we protect them.

Yes - my kids all use electronics. I just chose appropriate games and websites for smaller ones within your kids' age ranges. There are lots of educational sites that are fun. That's what we typically focus on.
Or ones where they learn about animals and build habitats for them, that kind of thing. our teachers send out websites they use in class and we often go to those ones.
My kids at that age did not require email accounts. For what purpose would you give your 6 year old an email account?
Mine didn't surf web at that age.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Smartphone - no. What does a 6 yr old need a phone for? Or an 8 yr old? My sks got phones at different ages. 10 was too soon. 13/14 was just about right.

Tablet - possibly. My DD has an ipad. It is not new. It is not fancy. I got it used for cheap. She has educational apps on it, and Netflix. I limit her time depending on what she's doing. If she's doing an app from school, she can play longer. If she's just watching a puppy movie, then one movie and she's done. Her Netflix account is monitored by me. Her ipad is hers to use, but I have control of it. One reason I got the ipad is because schools are going digital. She needs to know how to use a computer. Kids in 3rd grade will be doing projects in PowerPoint. Assessments are done online. There are apps for reading and math available on tablets. Kids should play, but they also do need exposure to technology.

DO NOT LET THEM SURF THE WEB. Children that young do not need unfettered access to the internet. They don't need to surf. They need to be guided to safe sites only.

I have a rule that if she nags me, the answer is no. If she nags me to play on my phone, use the ipad, watch more tv...nope. Go play with your toys, read a book, do a chore...I don't do nagging, ESPECIALLY when it is my expensive item (phone or computer). They will be fine if you say no.

2 moms found this helpful
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E.T.

answers from Rochester on

My kids (6 and 8) do not have smart phones and won't have smart phones until they are much older. They do play on ours at times. Usually when we are somewhere with a long unexpected wait. We have some old iPod Touch that they also play games on or listen to music on. We also have iPads that they spend time on. Our security settings are at the highest possible. And we monitor what they are doing.

How long they are on them really depends on a lot of things. If they are reading an ebook, playing educational games for school (like IXL), or watching a movie it might be longer. If we are on a long car ride or they are sick it will also be longer. It has worked for us to not have a specific limit on how long they can use it. We just make sure there is a good balance between screen time, active play, and other things.

No to an email address until they are probably in middle school. No to any social media until they are at least 13 (which is the Facebook age requirement). If and when they get into social media, texting, and emailing, we will have access to all of their accounts. No questions asked. We have all control over any apps that are on the devices. They cannot add an app without our approval. All of our accounts are password protected. They do go on the web, but they are always in the same room that we are. And they know (and have been taught how to decide) if a site is appropriate. It is usually PBS Kids, Nick Jr, Disney Jr, and sites that their teacher or school librarian share on the school's website.

Most important, we are already talking to them about Internet safety and what is appropriate. Just today I was telling them (in age appropriate terms) about a high school girl who got in really big trouble for sending a naked picture of another girl to lots of other people. We talked about why she was in trouble even though the other girl had sent her the picture first. We talk a lot about what is appropriate and inappropriate. We talk a lot about how to know if something just isn't right. I have confidence that my kids will learn how to self monitor and make good choices on the Internet before they are ever at the age to have smart phones, email accounts, and social media accounts.

One really fun app that we have is called Wonderbox. It is a little bit like Pinterest for kids. Every week there is a theme and a "challenge". One week my daughter watched videos about famous artists. The challenge was to draw a picture in the style of one of the artists. I'm amazed at some of the things my kids have learned! That next week she identified the artist who had painted a print hanging in our local coffee shop. I had to Google it to see if she was right. Then she started telling me about the style it was painted in. I didn't have a clue! The cool thing about the app is that my kids can share things they find or make with me through an email. I can reply back to them. And I have total control over who they can share with. Right now they can only share with me, my husband, and their grandparents. I can monitor what they are doing, but I have total confidence that everything they access in the app is child appropriate.

1 mom found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Everyone has different reasons for why kids have phones - so when people say they would never give a 6 year old a phone, they may not have had to make the same decisions as other parents. I am one of 5 kids, and we were dropped off while my parents drove all over town with the other kids and activities...we had phones earlier than some of our other friends. My oldest is 12 and she got a smart phone for Christmas. She had her first phone at 6 because she was at dance practices where I wasn't allowed to go inside. I wanted her to feel safe that she could get a hold of me. I didn't care what anyone else thought about it.

And honestly, my view is that if your child can't use technology, they are at a disadvantage. Everything is technological today in school....all of my kids used iPads from the time they were in K. They knew how to use them going in and it made it easier for them to do their tasking.

With that being said, technology shouldn't rule your life. So figure out what works for your family and go with it. No need to compare.

1 mom found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

My son started playing on our computer before he was three.
He's now twenty two and about to graduate from NAU with a BS in Applied Computer Science.
As long as you're monitoring what they are doing and they get plenty of exercise and social time I don't see any reason to really limit technology at all. It's a part of our lives.

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M.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

This is so individual.
My kids don't have tablets, but they each have an iPod equivalent. They got old iphones when we got new ones, and we discontinued the phone service. This means that they can play games on them offline, or they can do online games when they are connected to WiFi. But they can't make calls, and they have no cellular data. Basically, I got tired of them wanting to play games on my smartphone. Plus, this way, I can lock down security on their devices in a way that I wouldn't on my own (eg, they could access the web on mine, but on their devices, I have the web browser blocked).

I would suggest that your kids don't actually want a smartphone. What they want is a handheld device to play games - which could be an iPod or an old smartphone that can access WiFi but without cellular service.

As for how long - that is totally a personal choice. Some people would say for a 6 year old - never. Some say as much as they want as long as they get their schoolwork done.

Email? Well, my kids have accounts, because that is the only way to set up their icloud. But they don't actually know what their email address is. And frankly, they don't care. If they want to communicate with friends, they text - which they can do over WiFi.

Web surfing - I already mentioned I blocked the browser. It's too easy to stumble on something inappropriate and while I'd love to say I watch everything they do over their shoulder, it's just not true. When they are playing on their devices and I'm cooking dinner, I am not watching everything they do. So, I block the web.

1 mom found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i can't imagine why anyone would give a child this age an internet-enabled device.
but an old phone or tablet with educational games loaded?
why not?
then put appropriate limitations around how much time they can spend playing on them.
what does a 6 year old need an email account for?
?
khairete
S.

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M.C.

answers from New York on

Tablet yes, with parental control limits and some app to schedule which and how much time to use it. For their age I would fix it to one hour a day. In my opinion no web surfing and no smartphone before 10yo.
So many question about children and tecnology here!

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A.R.

answers from Chicago on

A 6 year old and an 8 year old have no need for a smartphone. My twins ( boy and girl, seventeen) were first 'introduced' to technology on their thirteenth birthday. We got my son an ipad and my daughter an ipod due to their personalities and what they would be used for. My kids never asked me for it, though. They grew up with an imagination and creativity. After school and on weekends, they spent their time biking around the neighborhood with friends and going to the park. Even now, they still prefer to play sports, go out with friends, or do something fun and creative than play with technology. Yes, they have social media and text friends, but they're not the kind of teenagers who will check their phones every five minutes.

They bought their own phones last year with money they saved up themselves. Never once before then had they asked me or my husband for a phone. If my seventeen year olds can find something to do other than play on a tablet or phone, I think your kids can too.

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N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Yes, they're old enough to play on tablets and even have one of their own.

I do suggest that you manage them. Have them set aside and give them when you want them to have them. Let them have them after you sign them into a kids place sort of thing. Where they can't go anywhere you haven't already approved.

Then you decide when they're done. Our kids can have them when stuff is done. If they spend hours I don't care.

Our kids aren't sedentary by any means. They do more than 30 hours of exercise/movement per month and that's more than most adults do that have gym memberships.

D.B.

answers from Boston on

I agree that kids need phones at different ages based on circumstances (such as the large number of kids as suggested below), but 6 and 8 are way too young for kids to take care of these things. Most people who give kids this age a device wind up finding a broken screen, a lost device, a HUGE bill, or access to an internet site they are shocked to see.

These are not toys. They are computers designed for advanced school work, professional work, and communications. They don't get given out just because someone whines or begs or because someone's friend has one.

Most kids get some technology education and access in school - this is on approved websites (if at all) and with teacher/paraprofessional supervision. That should be enough.

I would set up very strict rules about when they can use them - and not when you are busy doing work on your tablet. The time allowed should be when you want them to - such as weekends - and when other things are done (homework, chores). The time should be reduced by 5 minutes every time someone whines. If it's hard for you to say "no", you need to examine your backbone. This does not get easier when kids are physically bigger or teenagers with attitudes! So develop a thicker hide now, and don't let their nagging turn into a successful technique. Because you will just regret it for years to come! But that's standard parenting - if we give in at the grocery store when they whine for candy or junk cereal, if we make them separate dinners because Kid A doesn't like broccoli and Kid B isn't in the mood for chicken, we create a household of naggers. We let them know that they are the bosses, the decision-makers.

I'd also make some standards by which they can earn privileges - a kid who can't put her shoes away or who can't remember his lunch and homework should be told they haven't shown they are responsible enough for less expensive things. If you have to (to stop endless repeating), post a list of requirements/chores/responsibilities on their bedroom doors or the fridge or the bathroom mirror. If they are responsible for their own things and jobs (getting dressed, brushing teeth without an argument, helping to set the table, remembering to hang up their coats and fasten their seatbelts, whatever you require), then those are a START. It doesn't mean they get a phone - it means they are learning to be more responsible and can take on more expensive opportunities (like being allowed a half hour on the device). My guess is, they will show you in a week's time that they can't sustain managing even their shoes and homework. So you will have your answer to them - no phones, no tablets of their own, extremely limited use of yours.

Be sure you fully understand what games they are playing, have extremely strict parental controls on the tablet, and insist that it be used in a public place, like the kitchen table, where you can look over their shoulders all the time.

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