When to Start "Time Outs"???

I started time-outs my boys were around a year old. At that age, they understand that they are being punished and will most likely want to avoid it. My youngest is 17-months. When he is doing something that he knows is naughty (like hitting) I'll tell him, "No hitting" and if he doesn't stop I'll ask him if he wants a time-out. He'll usually stop right then, but if he doesn't I hold him on my lap for a one-minute time-out. He runs away when it's done and does a different activity.

Hi J.,

I would suggest nipping it in the bud. You should start time outs whenever you feel they are necessary. You may have to teach them what you mean by a time out, but that's part of learning. Hopefully, when they realize you are not going to put up with their actions they will become a lot less frequent. Be consistent and follow through with what you say you are going to do. The worst thing we do with our children is say if you don't quit something I'm going to whatever and then we never do the whatever it is we said we were going to do. Always follow through. Don't try to fool them by saying something you would never do because it will back fire. Little ones are so smart...sometimes smarter than we are, so try to stay one step ahead of them.

Have consequences for actions that you don't like, so they will know what is going to happen when they do something wrong. Consequences...time outs in the corner, a chair, in bed, or just a designated spot. You may find out they dislike one spot more than the others, which will make time outs a lot more effective. Time outs don't work for all children.

Good luck!

C.

They say to start timeouts at age2 and up but I've worked at daycares before and alot with children and think there are alot of circumstances and children who needs timeouts before that.

Best to start now then let the problem get out of hand so I would start timeouts.

They are too young to "get" timeouts. The penalty needs to fit the crime more closely. If you firmly intervene every time they do this you might be able to reduce the damaging behavior, but they will always fight with each other. Try to see it as a key to their development. Siblings, especially ones close in age, keep each other in line in a way parents can't. If you make sure that one isn't always the victim and that it doesn't get out of hand, fighting is actually a good thing. Boys learn social limits by testing them. (If I hit him with this book, I can prove how superior I am.) Then when natural consequences come in to play, (he hit me with a bigger book) they learn what not to do or where the limits are (I guess I won't hit him.) It is remarkable how they learn to work this stuff out for themselves. It is important that one not be always on the bottom, but struggling to be on the top is actually part of development. Compassion and empathy are also important.

I know it makes Mom crazy, but it will get better when they can negotiate more with words than with blows.

I was told by my ped. when my son started this phase at one years old, that he could have a time out. What he said to do was tell him what he did wrong, tell him he has to have a time out and put him on your lap with your hands across the front of him holding him therefor about 45 seconds- to a minute but no longer than that. This did work for me, as he quickly learned that this was no fun.!! Good luck

I am a SAHM of two Michaela 4 1/2 and Coleton 2 1/2 and a baby due September 11. Married for three years to my wonderful husband

We just started time outs with our 18 month old girl. It's been on and off trying it out since she was 17 months old. I would firmly say no and redirect their activities. Before we yanked the girls out of daycare she tells kids nice touch and takes their hand and rubs nicely on the child they were just hitting.

From everything I've read, and from experience with my own kids, I don't think time outs should begin until your children are two. And then their time outs should be as many minutes long as they are years old.

At 12 months old, it's best to just tell your sons, "no hitting," and then remove them from each other or their undesirable behavior. What they're doing is age-appropriate and you're doing a great job thinking ahead and wanting to teach them right from wrong. But at this stage, simply removing them from the situation and saying something simple with only one or two words is best.

Best of luck!

I believe I started time outs with my oldest when he was 18 months or so. But my youngest started getting them around 1 year (he's 16 months now). When he is naughty he goes into his crib for one minute after I explain to him why he's there. My 2 1/2 year old goes into the corner in the dining room, away from all the fun stuff, when he's naughty.