Whining Driving Me Crazy

Updated on June 22, 2009
R.S. asks from Moosup, CT
6 answers

Hi - my almost 2 yr old son has been wonderful with his new brother coming into the home...but I have noticed that his whining with all other things has increased like crazy. My husband and I have tried calmly saying no whining, tell us what you need...which seems to send him the msg that the whining did indeed work. Now I am ignoring and saying talk to me like a big boy...what have others done at this age...please help.

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R.C.

answers from Boston on

I've noticed that some children who whine improve when they are asked (with a smile) to say the same thing again with a smile. (It's impossible to smile and whine at the same time.) Then the child repeats the request/comment and I thank them for the great voice (never mentioning the whine) and proceed to respond to the message. This can be a fun game, and some children change their whole mood, given the opportunity. Best of luck!

D.B.

answers from Boston on

Remember that he sees the baby getting attention every time he cries, so he's doing a "big boy" version of it - whining! Some regression is common when there's a new baby - don't be surprised if he starts asking for a bottle. I would point out that the baby doesn't have the abilities that he has, the baby can't talk and it's so hard to know what babies need when they don't talk - tell him how much easier it is and how much time/effort it saves when kids are older like he is and can use their words. Then I would definitely follow the others' advice but I like the idea of saying what you DO want rather than what you DON'T want - such as talking in a nice voice or smiling or saying please. It's easier for them to do what you WANT rather than try to figure out what you MIGHT WANT when all we tell them is "no". So, "pick up your toys and put them in the toy chest" is easier than "don't leave a mess". Also, preschools try to "catch children being good" and that is a positive thing - point out the positives. You are right that responding does show that the whining did work. So set the rules and then stop responding to the whining. It may take a few times but he'll figure it out. Just be consistent. Good luck and enjoy your little ones!

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T.M.

answers from Boston on

I repeated when my son whined, "NO WHINING." Every single time he whined, that's the response he got. If he asked for something whining, he wouldn't get it if he whined.

I'm with you that whining is intolerable. I don't understand how people can put up with it at all, much less give in to it. Keep up with whatever method you choose to curb it!! Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from Boston on

get ready for eighteen more years of whining! I just think some kids are whiners. I have read all helpful books. Practiced good parenting skills. My kids whine. I think I was a whiner too. I guess it is payback.

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R.K.

answers from Springfield on

I would say keep up w/ the ignoring it and telling him to talk to you like a big boy and when he doesn't whine praise him for it make sure he gets his special mommy time and special daddy time I find that makes a huge difference.

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L.B.

answers from Boston on

My daughter was a whiner. I told her I couldn't hear her when she whined. That she would have to speak to me like a big girl if she wanted me to hear her. You have to be unfailingly consistent, but it does work. Good luck!

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