Why Don't Parents RSVP?

I send my birthday invitations using Evite now. It sends the invitation to their email and with one simple click, people can RSVP. I personally probably would be one of those people you are annoyed with. I would get the invitation, put it on my calendar and forget to call b/c I get distracted by my kids and busy day.
I recommend Evite for next year’s party :)

I'm going through this right now and I am ready to really give some of these parents a piece of my mind. It's so frustrating and incredibly rude! You almost don't feel like throwing parties anymore when you have to chase people down for a simple yes or no.

Drives me nut too, but I'm usually one of the offenders myself, lol. We're all busy, it's hard to remember during the rush of the day to pick up the phone and call. I LOVE when people either use evite or put the email address in the invite; I am on the computer at work all day, it is so much easier for me to RSVP by email than by phone. Consequently, I always put my email address on invitations I send.

Ugh, I am one of those annoying parents. It is never quiet enough at home for me to make any calls, so I put the invite in my bag and plan to call from work, and get busy and forget, and the cycle continues. Not an excuse; just telling you why it happens!

It really helps me when there is an e-mail address for RSVP. I also like the e-vite idea! I can send e-mails at 10 p.m. after the kids are down, but I wouldn't feel comfortable calling at that time, esp. those parents I don't know.

I like the way my neighbor handles this. She wants an RSVP for regrets only. In other words, call me if you can't come else I'm assuming you are coming.

I sympathize. It is so annoying!
Something I have found that increases my RSVP returns is providing my email and giving a firm date!
"Call, Text or Email your RSVP to . . . . by March 15. Food and drink counts must be submitted by this date, we don't want you to miss out on all the fun!"
Even if the food and drink is just for me:) I have also done, regrets only when it is not that firm of an event count and that has helped a lot.

I totally agree - it's as though this generation of parents has forgotten their manners.

Ah-the same ones who don't write thank you notes...I often would ask for regrets only-this usually works best. Make simple food that keeps for the week-little slider burgers (which can pattied and frozen and cooked to order) and mac and cheese-a little apple sauce and such. Cake lasts in the frig-and in this economy-keep the goody bags simple-again-things your family can use if there are unclaimed ones. Happy B-Day to your dear child!

I often email invitations to those I can and hand deliver the others...and still gets lots that don't reply. If asked later, some will say "well you knew I would be there" and others will say "I figured since I couldn't make it, I didn't have to reply". Please tell me how I am supposed to know which no responses are which??

Don't know the solution but am in the same boat.

Ugh! This drives me crazy! I always figured it is because people are waiting to see if something better comes up in the meantime and then they will respond at the last possible second. It's very rude. I always commit - yes or no - and I let them know as soon as possible.

I think the "regrets only" idea is very dangerous because if people are too lazy to call and say they are coming, they are probably even more likely to forget to follow up to tell you they are not coming. And I know we are all super busy, but really this only takes a minute.

It's totally rude not to respond to an RSVP. However, I do think it's best to give people options for responding. If my kid gets an invitation and there's only a phone number for responses, I'll wait until I'm fairly sure I'll get the answering machine, and leave my message there. Why? Because when you call and a real person answers, common politeness requires at least a brief conversation--and chances are the person on the other end is just as busy as I am. E-mails, texts or calls directed to an answering machine--these are the modern equivalent of written notes, which is the way people used to respond to an RSVP.

I'm just as frustrated as you. I'm about to read some of the answers you recieved. Yes kids birthday parties are important too and it helps lessen any stress we might have about throwing the party if we knew how many kids are attending. I'm also helping planning a wedding and thats a HUGE event and one bridal magazine sad that if no RSVP is mailed back the bride or a bridesmaid has to go outta our way to contact people before the wedding. As if we didnt have enough on our plate.
Dear Abby said that its the way our society is nowadays. I understand that some moms forget, we get busy but it's also rude. Esp. with eVites, cause you can see the recipeint has viewed the eVite but has decided not to answer, why not? It's like moms are waiting for something better to come along???
i completely understand!
pammy

LOL. I asked the same question earlier this week. It's so frustrating that people are so inconsiderate and rude. I think I have figured out that no response means they aren't coming most of the time. But always expect one or two to show that didn't rsvp, and one or two not to show that did rsvp that they were coming. We are having a party tomorrow for my son- 25 invited. I finally got 15 confirmed after hunting them down. We are going to expect 20.

Manners have gone out the window. Just like thank you notes.

I have dealt with this so many times and I will personally call/email the parents.

It is not that hard for someone to email or call just to say yes or no thank you.

My pet peeve as well. We have twins so we often have very large parties and it is ridiculous that we have to call all the parents to find out if they're coming. I've had parents call me 20 minutes before the party saying that not only were they coming but they were bringing their nephew as well!!

Sadly I have been guilty of this with the invitations delivered through school. Sometimes they sat in the cubby unseen for weeks and sometimes, they went home with my husband, but he didn't give it to me.

As long as I get the invite, I respond.

Email is definitely the way to respond too. I agree with the woman who said it allows you to respond at any hour.

I have had this complaint myself many times and while I don't have advice for you, I want you to know I understand your frustration!!! To me, it's just downright rude to be invited to a party and not RSVP (if it is requested that you do so). Here you are, trying to plan a nice party for your child, and all the people have to do is pick up the phone and make 1 phone call. Then you can plan accordingly. Anyway, just wanted to let you know you are not alone in your feelings. Ranting over!! Hope your party is awesome regardless. B.

K.:

Hello! I know I will probably get reemed for this answer but it's my opinion.

This shows the society we have become - lazy and self-centered. We've allowed it to become this way.

Most parents are busy working and don't take the time go through their kids backpacks (if they are handed out at school) or they just "assume" that you will know they will be there.

When I send out invites - I give people two different ways to contact me - e-mail and phone. I also ensure I have their e-mail addresses as many people just claim "they didn't get it". And I send out "save the date" e-mails giving them specifics and telling them to look in "Jack's" backpack or in the snail mail for the invite.

Just like Thank you notes - when was the last time you got one of those? I make my boys write them out. PERIOD - no thank you note - no gift (I don't let them play with the gift until a thank you note is written)

Well, I don't have any answers for you, and like you I find it incredibly frustrating!
Have to say that people are just as inconsiderate and rude/forgetful if you use Evite or email though, so don't count on that being the solution to all your problems.
I'm looking at the evite *right now* for my daughter's 3rd birthday party which is *this* coming Sunday. I sent it about a month ago, with a hard rsvp date of tomorrow (9/1) and just today sent a reminder to everyone who did not respond. It's only a family party for family and a couple of very close friends. Over half of them have not yet replied, although I can (handily) see that they have looked at the invite - some of them weeks ago.
In my case, most of the problem is with my in laws. I will never ever understand why they get all worked up over setting the table properly, but have absolutely no concept of rsvp-ing!! (I am not kidding.) I had high hopes that once my one BIL got married that it would fix the problem, that at least she would respond, but nope. No response. (and in their case, they are both unemployed and have a computer at home, so there is no excuse that they are 'too busy' to find the time.)
<sigh> Thanks for starting the thread and letting me vent - I really needed it, I think! = )

Yes we need to know rather or not your coming but I don't get upset if they don't notify me if they are able to make it or not.The invite was enough I don't call/text or email them to ask them again if they are coming I just plan to have enough food & beverages for everyone I invited regardless of an RSVP or not