Your Will- How to Provide for Kids

I have my will set up so that the money goes into 3 main places

1) a couple of different trusts
2) pays off the house
3) pays for funeral expenses & grief counseling

The second two are obvious... but here are the trusts:

1a) Trust for my son for when he reaches his majority
1b) Trust for my son's education
1c) Trust for my son's upkeep and care (for his caregivers to use)

It splits my life insurance into these trusts, but not evenly. There would be a couple hundred k in each.

- For my son's education, it's 10 years of private schooling + 4 years of private college/university (or about 12 years of State University). If he chooses not to use the money that way (it works for any educational payment, college, trade schools, quarters abroad, etc.), or if there is any leftover... it reverts to him on his 26th birthday.

- For my son's care... It's a $2000 check per month (on top of educational expenses which would be drawn out of the separate trust) that would go to his caregiver, plus provisions for "exceptions" (like for medical care)

- The majority of the remainder is simply in trust for him when he reaches adulthood.

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I started out with just a simple notarized will, and had a family law attorney draw up this one with the trusts once I had life insurance.

My will is with my attorney-and I have a copy. Don't leave the people that will raise your children carte blanche access to your assets! You have to appoint a Personal Representive/Trustee to handle the money-and create an irrevocable trust for the kids through an attorney. A will helps make it perfectly clear who gets what-no grey areas. No one needs to know the contents of your will until you are dead. A trust can be a beneficiary. The couple that gets the children will provide the PR with receipts or he can dole out the funds as he sees fit. You may want to have a little money set aside until the children are able to receive Social Security. You may want to have the mortgage paid off and taxes escrowed until the house can be sold. If you want the couple to have your house-then that has to be stipulated in the will-if you don't have a will-the court will do everything -and it is not always in the best interest of the children. You need a will-there are too many important things to mention in a couple of paragraphs. All the best!

You put all of your assets (house, insurance policies, retirement accounts) into a revocable trust. This means that while you are alive, you still own everything in the trust and can change anything in it and how you decide to have is disbursed. I also have a certain amount that would be available as cash for funeral expenses (I think it's $20K although by brother's funeral recently was $12K so we probably need to increase that) and for fighting my son's birth father and SD's birth mother for custody of the kids ($50K) if needed. All other money would be tied up in the trust.

You would name a guardian and backup guardian for your children based on who would be the best fit to raise them - who could a) do it and b) do the best job with minimal disruption to your children (for example, you wouldn't want them to be shipped across the country to a relative they don't know well and have start life all over in a new place).

The money is separate - if you choose guardians who are also prudent money managers you can name them trustees of the account but it's a good idea to have a 3rd party handle that. The 3rd party can be a professional that you hire or someone you know and trust. The assets in life insurance policies and real estate are hundreds of thousand if not more than a million dollars - that's a lot to leave to someone who may be great with your kids but has no clue how to handle money. When I was single and my parents were my guardian, I also had them as the trustee because I know that they would be smart enough to hire a professional money manager.

The trust would be set up so that the guardians could access the assets for living expenses to help raise your children. Presumably there would be enough in the trust to also pay for their education. After that, you can set disbursement dates for the rest of the funds, if any remain - typically on their 25th, 30 and 35th birthdays or something like that, or maybe when they graduate college, etc.

Our will is in a fireproof box at our house and at the attorney's office.

A trust isn't a huge amount of money to have drawn up (our will and trust are complicated because of our blended family so we have a lot of contingencies and it was about $900 total) and having someone else do and know that everything would be handled correctly can bring peace of mind.

Even when I was a single mom I carried enough life insurance to pay off the house so that they didn't inherit debt.

The rest is spelled out in my trust.

The last thing you want to do is let someone blow through their inheritance claiming it was for the kids.

We have a trust The kids will go to a friend of ours who will also manage the spending money for them. The majority of the money for their future is handled through the bank which is the "executor" of the trust. We've instructed several people where to find the will and other pertainent info in case someone forgets. To be extra safe, I also have written everything out for the friend who gets my kids with everything spelled out for her. No, not a "fun" topic but one that needs to be addressed. Good for you, taking care of this...

We also have a trust built-in. My sister and her husband "get " the kids, but are terrible with money! So, my other sister (financial advisor) is their "financial guardian ". She will pay all of their bulks, including a monthly "stipend" to their physical guardians. We found a wonderful attorney who walked us through the whole thing. He actually suggested the arrangement because he said it spread out the responsibility!

We have copies in our safe, the attorney has a copy and my parents have a copy. I would suggest that the identified guardians have a sealed copy in your case!

You will need for the family to have a stipend each month or year for the raising of your children. This could be used for a family style vacation, clothing, sports fees, bicycles, toys, bedroom furniture, what ever the couple thinks is needed. They would not need to be accountable for this money unless someone thought the kids were being neglected or abused and the money being stolen.

The family I was named by had it set up where the money each year would be in the hundreds of thousands. He was one of the top 2 geophysicists at a global wide company and his income was 4 times what hers was as a professor of nursing at a local college.

They had this set up very well. Their attorney had specific reasons in the paperwork as to why they did not want their families to have guardianship/custody/supervision of their children, mostly they figured the only ones to contest the will would be the ones wanting control of the money. They listed many reasons and had the attorney make it as iron clad as he could. We had the papers on file in the county court house in the section for wills and such. I am not sure of what happened to them once they were signed. A copy went to the attorney's office for sure.

We would be allowed a certain portion of the money as "income" if we wanted it to be. There was written in that once the needs were met that would could use money for ourselves. They did not set it as salary due to taxes and such but it was written we could spend part of it on ourselves, a treat per say.

The kids had their own accounts set up and the money was not able to be handed out to them until they had completed college. All had to go, it was required. If they wanted the money they had to prove they could support themselves and make a commitment to "life".

Their needs and some of their wants would be taken care of by the monthly/yearly income from the assets of the parents.

The house was the kids and they could not do anything with it as far as selling it or anything until they were all adults and they could come to a consensus. They didn't even have to move out. The house was 3 1/2 levels and had something like 8 bedrooms and 3 1/2 bathrooms. There was even part of the basement set up like an apartment that could be used for an adult couple later on.

The couple never had any accidents and they did often travel separately when flying. The mom and dad divorced later in life and they are still living and have many grandchildren now. The house burned to the ground a couple of years ago too. The mom and kids still living there got out safely but the lost everything they owned. Just walked away with the night clothes on their backs.

We set up a trust for our kids (I think that's what it's called). Their guardians would have control of the money until our boys reached adulthood - I don't remember what age that's set at, and I think we got to set that age, but I'm not sure. We set everything up years ago.

We chose friends to raise our children rather than relatives, which is a touchy thing because I am very close to my brother and his wife. It's a long story as to why we made that decision, but anyway, we agree with you, there's no reason to cause awkwardness now if not needed. What we did is we talked to my mom about it. She completely understood our reasons, and we gave her a copy of the will. We also have a copy, and our attorney filed a copy with the state. Of course the friends who we asked to raise our children have a copy, too.

You need a lawyer. You can leave it all to your children - you can set up a trust so there will be an adult trustee to manage the money until they are adults. You can leave your money to DH with the provision that if he predeceases you or you die together, it goes to the kids. I would not leave it to another couple - even the ones you have chosen to raise your kids. If money gets tight for them, your kids may not have what you planned for them to have - college, etc. Same as if you die - do you want all your money to go to DH to pay for your current kids (I do). What if DH has more kids after you die? Sorry - those ones aren't mine - I want mine to have my money. There are several different kinds of trusts. You can plan all these things but that is what the lawyer is for.

I believe the will belongs in the safety deposit box.

I used to be in financial services and this conversation came up a lot. You need a will and trust. The trust would control where the money goes and when. You can't leave the money to the kids directly, cause they can't manage it - if you don't make arrangements for it, the money will be taken care of by the state.

Also, when it comes to who will care for your kids, you CAN have different people handle the money vs. taking care of the children. For example, Jim and Jane would be fantastic to care for your kids, but they absolutely SUCK with money management. But Uncle Bob is a financial whiz and would be the worst possible parent. Put the best people in the areas they are best in. You need a professional to help set this up.

Safety deposit box for the will, or with the attorney that draws it up, or both.

You have to give a copy to a close friend or family member and you have to give a copy to the person(s) that are the ones receiving your children. You leave one person or couple as the Trustee and another couple as an Executor. The lawyer will help you with this. That way is friend #1 is getting your children, friend #2 will make sure that they are not spending the money frivolously b/c friend #2 makes sure of it. They both have to agree to how the money is spent so no one person/couple is in charge. You can leave specifications in your Will stating that your children get 1/2 at age 18 and the other 1/2 at age 30 if that is the way you want it. You can leave a certain amount to take care of the children or you can say a certain amount is for the family taking care of the children. You can even have a small insurance policy for the person who is going to care for your children. We have chosen friends as well and family does not know. You MUST get your Will done soon. Good luck.

Please get your will done. I don't know about Ca laws, but in Il, if you die, the kids go into foster care till the legal stuff is taking care of.

A copy of our will (we wrote it ourselves with online software) is in my office. My brother (who will get the kids) knows where it is. We have no money separated out to him to care of them, as trustee, we trust he will use the funds wisely.

We currently do not have a trust because trusts only make sense if your assets are worth 2 million. Our's aren't, but when they get that large, we will pay to set up a trust.

My sister gets the kids. She will get SS for them. The life insurance is enought to cover all bills and burial plus an amount for each child for college and the like.

Find a good lawyer and they will walk you thru. Our attorney also told us about a provision to keep the kids from arguing (if they are old enough to have a say), if anyone argues over what we have left or not left them then they get nothing. Helps with the greed.

Our attorney suggested giving a copy of the will in a sealed envelope to a friend or family member for holding because you don't know where your attorney will be when it is needed.