I received an electronic "Save the Date" card for the birthday party of my 4 yr old's classmate. It is supposed to be happening on the 16th and it said that an invitation would follow. We haven't gotten an invitation, so I am not really sure if we should still be saving the date. I have never met the mother, but have seen her at church a few times. Should I just do nothing and see if we get an invite, or reply to the save-the-date message and ask if it was still on? Maybe they had to limit the # of attendees, or maybe they sent an invitation that we missed or got lost...not sure what to do.
Thanks everyone. I normally wouldn't have been concerned about it, but last year we received a save-the-date for my husband's (supposed) good friend who he practically dragged thru medical school. We saved the date, had a sitter hired, never received an invitation, and then never heard back from them when we asked about it. AWKWARD! But the d-bag still had the gall to ask my hubby if he could crash at our house one nite.
I'll just email her. Thanks again!
who sends a 'save the date" for a 5 yr olds party? I think the highly organized person doing this would have sent the invite by now. I would respond to the email and ask a question, like, what does she need or what size is she? and mention that you hadn't seen the invitation and thought it might be in spam.
Wow...is the birthday boy the King of England? Save the dates are usually for weddings. However, you wouldn't have received one if you weren't on the invitation list. So, I think its perfectly fine to call or email to follow up.
Like Tracy, I think a "save the date" is funny for a 5 yr old party! But anyway, there's nothing wrong with asking..."We received your 'save the date.' Is the party still on for the 16th?"
This is why "save the date" cards aren't in the etiquette books! If you're going to invite someone, just send the invitation, for crying out loud! So, you can ignore it and make other plans (unless you replied and said you would come), or you can email the parents and ask if their plans are finalized. Depends on whether your child is that close to the birthday child and would miss not attending. Another way to ease into it is to ask if she needs any help - but then you are obligated to help and attend! Since she opened the issue by sending a save-the-date notice, you're well within your rights to inquire. She may not have had all the details worked out about time and place, and just wanted to get people to book the date - but she could also have forgotten to whom she mailed the notifications! So it's up to you. You are not obligated to attend something just because someone told you to save the date!
Ten days is a long time. Maybe they figure you are already saving the date so they can fire off the invite email close enough to the party to help with the forgetters. I wouldn't worry about it just yet.
I know it might seem awkward, but I would contact the mom. This happened to me with my daughter's party when one of her friends from school didn't receive the invitation because of a typo that I made in the address. In hindsight, I should have contacted the mom to confirm with them when they didn't RSVP, but I didn't want to seem pushy. It wasn't until several weeks after the party when the post office finally returned the invitation due to the incorrect house number that I realized what had happened. I immediately called the mom to apologize, and she was grateful to hear from me. She felt awkward, too, about calling me when she never received an invitation after receiving the "save the date" email. If one of us had gotten passed our awkwardness, the little girl could have attended the party, and my daughter wouldn't have been disappointed.
BTW - those of you who were judgemental about sending a "save the date" in the first place should reserve your comments. There are plenty of legitimate reasons to send one, such as summer birthdays and family vacations, as one other mom mentioned. I sent mine because there was a snafu in printing the invitations that caused a huge delay which was outside of my control, and I didn't want my daughters friends to make other plans and then have my daughter upset because no one was able to attend her party.
I would just reply to the save-the-date message and ask if it's still on. That way you know the situation and can plan something else that day if the party plans have changed.
That's strange. I'd ask her about it unless you really don't want to go.
Just make a call and ask. Maybe the invite got lost.
Just call and ask if the party is still on.
I agree, it's still a little early to be considered "late" yet. They may be doing a week in advance invite so you still have a few days. I would keep it open to be polite as they asked for your time first on that specific date.
Well...it's still 10 days away...are there details about the party on the save-the-date card? Maybe she just used that instead of invites? I'd email or respond in a few more days...
my guess is they sent a save the date cuz they havent ironed out the details of where and what time. now they dont have to hurry cuz they sent the save the date notices
Is there more info on the save the date? If yes then I would RSVP according (reply to the e-mail or phone). If no I would reply to the 'save the date' if possible or a chat at church on Friday, Saturday or Sunday simple saying that you are planning your weekend and if there is any more info as well as if you needed to RSVP for the b-day party.
I usually send out b-day invitations out two weeks before the event, so should have the invite 1 1/2 weeks before hand. If you got an save the date and things have changed the mom really needs to let you know it is rude to invite someone and then change your mind without letting the others know.
Nowadays I am learning instead of trying to figure this all out: Just ask!
We did a save the date for our Birthday party this year because we knew with all of the vacations and other events, people needed a heads up.. We sent it out 6 weeks before the Bday party and the actual invite 2 weeks before.. We had a great response.. If you are worried, just CALL and ask..
Just email back and say you can attend and let her know you had never received an invite. Heck some of my wedding invitations never made it and my family called me and I was glad they did. I like save the dates that way I know months in advance not to plan anything. Because half the time I get the invitations a week before and then we can't make it.
I would send an email to confirm, polite and easy. It sounds like it does not bother you either way, you just want to know if you "can" make other plans.
