Biters at Day Care

Having worked in childcare before both sets of parents should be notified. As a teacher I redirected both children after telling the biter "NO" and if age appropriate, time out followed. I made sure to show extra love and attention to the child with the bite. As far as treatment, run cold water over the bite and apply balmex or desitin and it will reduce swelling and most marks. I gave a full written account to the parents that was signed by management. The time of day, activity in the classroom, what led to the bite, and action taken was written on the report. A copy was kept in the office and one was sent home for each of the children. The names of the children envolved were not disclosed to the parents. I was always very apologetic, I hated when my munchkins got hurt, I tried to be as informative as possible and listened to any concerns from parents. As a teacher I tried to maintain a good working relationship with my parents anyhow. In the center I worked in, after three bites the biter would be suspended for a day. I hope this was helpful.

Hey R.,
My 2yr old was in a daycare when he was 1 and during a period of 7days at the daycare was bitten 5 days out of those 7. I went to the teacher first and they told me that a note would be sent home with the biter's parents. That was an ok answer the first time, but after each time he got bit I got even more upset about it. One day he came home with 3 bites. None of them broke the skin, but no one wants their child bitten no matter how small the bite is. Anyways, I ended up speaking to the director and telling her I was about to take my child out of the daycare and she told me not to do that they had kicked that kid out of the daycare. Personally, I think there should be a limit on bitings. On the other had, they told me to really watch my child because when they get bitten they will in turn start biting. My child ended up trying to bite me and of course I put a stop to that really quick. I'm not really sure what the answer is. But I can sympathize with anyone who has had their child bitten.
K. D.

I am the staff counselor at a child care center in Kennesaw and the center I work for has me on staff for this reason among others. What our center does is identify "extreme behavior" as a repetition of a behavior like biting three times within a certain period of time and then they have a policy that the child must receive specialized services with me in which I shadow and interrupt the impulse to bit, redirecting the child to more adaptive ways to deal with the emotion behind the impulse to bite and build in consciousness so that the impulse will dissolve. I also have a pediatric occupational therapist on my resource list who comes in and works with biters sometimes because sometimes it's a sensory issue.

Otherwise, when a child is bitten the victim is treated with ice and pressure, a written report of the incident is provided to both the parents of the biter and the bitee.

It's an alarming experience for parents of both the biter and the bitee so the parents should be informed in a way that is compassionate for both sides with a set plan of action in place to support both sides.

Most child care centers do not have a professional counselor on staff but some of us can be hired to go into centers and work with children as needed which is becoming more prevalent.

Some children bite and there is honestly nothing anyone can do except for punish the child that bites, its not that big of a deal, tell your child to stay away from the child that bites and well there really isn't anything else to do. Some children bite because they are bored or just jealous

R., my son went through a biting phase when he was 23 months old at daycare. (I think he did pick it up from a child there because about 6 months before he'd been bitten twice in one week.)

My daycare notified me as soon as I picked him up every day that he had bitten (sometimes he'd done it twice a day!). The same thing happened when he was bitten. They do not tell the parents which child is biting/being bitten. My daycare said it was to prevent parents from dealing with it themselves. So I never knew which child bit my son and which children my son was biting.

My son was put in time out and separated. It took a couple of days to figure out that he was biting two girls ... one of which was new and was really attached to my son. (He's an only child, so he's used to playing alone and didn't like how she wanted to play.) Once the triggers were figured out, they were able to work around them and the biting stopped. After two weeks of him not biting, they let him back around the girls and he did fine.

He was not biting at all at home, so I could not enforce this at home. He also would not understand he was doing anything wrong and comprehend going a whole day without biting equals a treat or something of that nature (he's a little developmentally behind).

It did happen the two weeks after we took a week-long family vacation, so I think it was a combination of going back to school after a week away (he has some separation anxiety) and one of the children that started while he was away. But after two weeks it stopped and he never bit again. Actually, he only bit once the first part of that second week, but I'd say it took 2 weeks to get through the phase.

When he was bitten, I was told there really wasn't anything I could do because they were making sure he was separated from the biter at all times (he was never bitten by the same child). After being bitten, he was comforted while the other child was in time out. When he was the biter, we went through the punishments he was given - time outs, put in a high chair during group activities or when there weren't enough teachers to keep a close eye on him, always separated from the child he bit, etc. Had it been happening at home, we would have enforced the same punishment.

Unfortunately, it is a phase that most children in daycare go through from the people I know that have children in daycare and from all the daycare facilities I toured and questioned before selecting one. You just have to make sure the teachers are staying on top of it; that they notify you of everything that's going on (if that child is biting others, the punishments given, how your child is comforted, if there's a reason for the biting, etc.)

I hope this helps ... I didn't mean for it to be so long! But I was horrified when my son started biting. It caused me so much stress that I was scared to pick him up from daycare. I cried almost every day for those two weeks because I felt so useless ... other than talking to him (which he didn't understand), there wasn't anything else I could do but wait it out or try to figure out the triggers.

This may vary by state... But the center should file the incident with DFCS. Both sets of parents are informed, although the identities of the biter and bitten are not supposed to be revealed.

My friend's son was biting a child, well, they think it was one child, they were never told. And this made it hard to figure out how to deal with it. He never bit anyone at home. It was terribly embarrassing for them. After a couple of incidents, the child was expelled. With less than a week's notice. This was really stressful. He hasn't bitten again at the new child caree center. Which suggests there was a problem with one child, and the staff being vigilant, I think.

"When biting occurs in day care, initiate a meeting with the day care staff to help defuse any crisis. The parents of the child who has been bitten usually want the biter removed from day care or prevented from playing with their child. Learn exactly how the incidents are being handled and make sure there is a consistent plan for managing the biting. This should not include taking the child home, if possible. Move the child to a smaller, more closely supervised setting with fewer aggressive children. Finding a day care whose staff is better able to deal with biting may also be helpful."
http://www.kidsgrowth.com/resources/articledetail.cfm?id=244

Hey R. -
My child was the one being bitten, but I wasn't discovering the bites until we got home at bathtime. I asked the teachers and the administrator what the policy was:
1) the teachers are supposed to write up an incident report to the bitten child's parents
2) the teachers write up an incident report to the biter's parents and try to discuss the situation with them.
3) some places have a 3 bites, you're out! policy - but mostly it's decided on a case by case basis. My kid was being bitten by an 'agressive' biter, so after the administrator met with the parent 3 times - they asked her to remove him. He had at this point been biting others (usually several kids several times a day) for at least 7 weeks.

The teachers have some methods to try with the biter but their hands are mostly tied. Time out and moving the child to an older group is about the only thing that my daycare was allowed to do. I've told the teachers/administrators that if my child bites, then I want to be notified immediately and I'll take care of the situation (I want to nip it in the bug if it happens - that's just me). It's hard to stop the habit if your child doesn't bite at home.

I personally use to work at a child care center and was in the situation before. It depends on how old the children are to expect certain things. If the children are four and under it is to be expected that something would happen of this nature. The protocol is to call the parents of the both children and tell them the situation without using the other childs name. The director is suppose to personally tell you about the situation. The child that was doing the bitting should be on a warning status. If the child is over four years old then the child and the parents need to be told that such behavior is not tolerated and the next time they should be removed from the center.

Not sure how old your child is...my son just turned 1 and was bitten a couple of weeks ago. I received a write-up that was signed by the teacher and the director of the school. They also discussed the situation with me. The director told me that they separate the children and put the biter in "time-out" for one minute. If the biting doesn't stop after about two weeks the child's parents are asked to remove their child from the school. I was happy with this response - very timely and age-appropriate.

I have worked in daycares in the past. The main thing I can say is that most kids go through some sort of biting stage. The daycare needs to do an accident report each time a child is bitten. They need to dicipline the biter, time out, redirection, or whatever that daycare does. The other thing to check on is how bad is the bite. If a child breaks skin and draws blood more than 3-4 times (that was the rule in our daycare in MI) than they were usually kicked out of the center when all else failed. The child care provider really needs to be watching that child to find out what triggers them before they bite and get in trouble. Once you know the triggers most of the time you can stop a child before they do it and redirect. This keeps everyone happy.

I have a friend whose son was the biter...not the bitten. The day care that he attends notified the parents of both children (both age 2 1/2), sent a letter home signed by both the teacher and the facility director describing the situation and that immediate action taken. They separated the children for the rest of the day and put my friend's son in time out for five minutes - closely supervised by a teacher to ensure that he remained where he was supposed to.

He has now done this twice.

I do not know what the day care's policy of biting children is - meaning I don't know if they'll be asked to remove him if he continues biting. What I DO know is the actions that my friend has taken to hopefully cure this biting nonsense:

1) She went to the dollar store and bought 10 items appropriate for a 2 1/2 year old.

2) She wrapped each item separately - including a bow.

3) She placed all 10 items in a paper bag.

4) She told her son (who does understand quite well) that if he went all day without biting someone, he could pick a present from the bag.

This seems to have worked...and he has gone almost 10 days now without biting. I'm not sure that is the way I would have done it, but it's her child.

I'm sorry for your troubles (and your child's pain). I hope you are able to find something useful in this...

J. S

I went through the whole biting thing with my son not too long ago. It started with my child being the one getting bit. His daycare did their best to keep my son separated from the bitter. Of course, it wasn't long before my son became the biter. It was really hard because he was so young and didn't understand punishments, especially when they were after the fact. He finally stopped doing it when, one day, he bit me and I bit him back. I know that sounds horrible, but it worked. As for daycare centers, all they can do is keep a close eye on the kids and try to keep them separated. I know that is hard for them to do, but usually bitting is just a phase and the kids grow out of it. I probably haven't been of much help. I just wanted to share what I experience.

Hi R. ,
I had this problem the first day I put my kid in daycare and I was told that this particular daycare would not kick the kid out , even though the kid was a known bitter and did it more than once a week , I was not told who the kid was or who the parents were , the day-care did not care . I took my kid out of that day-care and was then told in the new one that the kid should have been kicked out , depending on the bite , there may be been diff measures taken , if I was in your postion again I would stand firm and if they do not so something to this kid to ensure your kid does not get bit again , I would take the kid out w/ no notice .

My daughter has been the victim of children bitting at all (3) daycare centers she has attended; luckily at 28 m/o I think the children have out grown that phase now (knock on wood!)

I TOTALLY feel your pain and also your childs!!! Reese got bit so h*** o* the top of her hand that she has a scar AND this same day she was also bit on the arm....I was so mad I could of spit! (YUCK!)

Basically all (3) centers had the same guidelines, which I think might be state allocated: If a child bites more than (3) times in one day they are sent home although the likelihood of this happening are slim to none! Once a child bites I think the center should pay closer attention to this child and choose appropriate action from there, depending on the child's age. The center is not (supposed) to disclose to either parent who bit who but to only advise the parents that their child bit some one or your child has been bitten.

As much as it pains me (and I'm sure you) there is little to do about this, though you did not mention your child's age, it's just a phase that they grow out of, some just quicker than others.

Good luck and I hope everything turns out ok, it has in our situation!

M.

My 3 year old dgt has gotten bitten a couple of times by different kids at Mom's Day Out. I think there is some law that the school can not tell you who bit your child and they can not tell the other parents who their child bit. However, my daughter has been able to tell me who bit her and what happened. The school has to notify all the parents of the incident. The last time it happened, it did not even break the skin. The teacher took my dgt to the office and put ice on it. She notified me when I picked my dgt up of what had happened. If a particular child kept biting her repeatedly, I would talk to the director and either have my child moved to a different class, requst the other child not be permitted back, or remove my child from the program. So far, I haven't had to do that yet. Hope this helps.

My son was bitten MANY times in his 2 yr old class. It was a different child everyday. At the height of the problem ... he was bitten 5 times in one week. One day was 3 bites. (arm, leg, and back)

Their course of action was to put the biter in time out, do a report on the occurrence and report it to the director. If a child continued biting after their time out, they were pulled from the class and sent to sit in the director's office.

I remained patient and tried to see the side of the other parents. "What if my child were the biter?". But I was upset nonetheless. I asked many questions. and got satisfying answers.... actions... I'm not really sure. I didn't wait to find out....

During the week my son was bitten so much, I pulled him out and sent him to my mother for the remainder of the week. Upon telling his teacher my concerns and that I feared my son would become a biter from self-defense, she laughed and said he probably should. Appalling right?

The reason (according to her) that he was being bitten by all the other kids was that he was the "nice kid". If they took his toys, he just went and found something else to play with. If they pushed him around, he just walked away and wouldn't play with that kid. I am quite proud of him for being that way. I was (am) not about to teach him otherwise. It would be counter to his nature.

After a few days away from the center, he went back and everything was better. They stopped biting him. It was a couple weeks later he moved to the next class away from the biters.

I would imagine that you should be notified of when your child was bitten and who did it. Also the other child's parent should be notified b/c their child is the offender.If it happens more than a few times steps should be taken to correct or remove the child from the others. Whatever they do they have to protect all their children that they care for. I've heard of instances where a child was kicked out of daycare due to biting. Just keep on them and worse case scinerio you might have to find another daycare but if it were me and it came to that i'd file a complaint with the state so they could ensure no other child goes thru anything like that there again.I know some people say "it's just biting" but if they would ignore that then you'll have to wonder what else they'll ignore.

All the daycare centers I have dealt with have a form called an injury report. It gives a detailed account of how your child sustained an injury be it a bite, a fall or anything of that nature. It also tells who all was involved. If your child's injury was caused by another child, both sets of parents get a copy of the report. You should also expect for the daycare center to address this matter with the parent of the child that caused the injury. The center should also have policies in place that outline the consequenses for children that display unexceptable or dangerous behavior while in daycare. Most daycares suspend children that continue to display such behaviors, and if it gets bad enough, some will even expell the child.