Changing Schools Frequently

Updated on September 17, 2013
W.R. asks from Gunter, TX
12 answers

Hi,

About 1 1/2 years ago we lost our home to foreclosure. Since it was difficult to lease after that, we went with a company that stages homes. We paid minimal rent to live in a house which was for sale, and of course had to keep the house ready for showings at all times. Basically we will be doing this process through Spring 14 when we feel we will be in shape to long term rent or maybe buy a home. Because of the nature of this business we have moved several times in 18 months. We had to move our daughter to a new school district the summer between 4th & 5th grade with mixed results (great school, some of the kids were pretty mean). We moved again right at the end of 5th grade, finishing out the school year in one district but starting 6th grade in a new district. We had the expectation we would be able to stay in this district going forward and it was our target area. However, the home we are in sold, and we need to move again. Unfortunately, the best option we have right now is to take another short term lease in a different subarb. We are guaranteed by the lease this house will be rental only through May 1, then will go back on the market, so basically we can finish out the school year in that house (30 day moveout notice would take us through early June) Here's my question, do we change schools yet again and finish out the school year in that area even though we don't plan on living there next year? Or, do we keep our daughter in her current school with a fairly lengthy commute each day hoping we can get back to this area by next school year? She is very adventurous and actually wants to change schools because everything is exciting to her. I love her current school and school district and really want to be back in this area for the long run. The .lengthy commute I mentioned probably won't seem long to many of you, it's approximately 40 - 45 minutes round trip. I would drop her off in the morning, my husband would have to pick her up after school; obviously the bus isn't an option since we are moving out of the school district. Techincally we should change schools due to district policy, but I worry about consistency in her schooling and I'm a little embarrased that I made a big deal with friends that we were finally in the area we have wanted to live in for years and now we are moving/pulling her out of that school district. Pride is definitely an issue here. I'm so tired of moving, and I guess I feel like the school is the only control I have at this point. Please offer viewpoints on changing of schools, I can't really do anything about the moving. Thanks!

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So What Happened?

I've already received many thoughtful responses, thanks so much for your feedback. We are going to visit the possible new school this week to check out the facilities, and will also talk with her current school to see if she is allowed to stay. That way we know our options. I think there are pros and cons either way, but we do need to reach a decision. I'm just glad my daugher is so flexible.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

If you can manage the commute, I'd try it. Many districts will allow you to apply to keep a child in a district where they started if you are willing to transport the child. You might want to look into making a formal request for her and see if you need to drive her all the way in or if there is a middle ground bus stop that would be able to take her part way.

In the long run, I think she should be as settled as possible by HS, when kids really get down to preparing for college and classes really build on another (which order the district offers Geometry and Algebra, what AP classes are offered, etc.).

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

that is not a lengthy commute! Lengthy is 1 hour each way!

moving on....here's the one line which really grabbed my attention: "Technically we should change schools due to district policy".

If you're claiming a bogus address to stay in that district, then by all means move her to another school. You have no guarantees what the future will bring, no guarantees you'll be in position to live in that district, nor should you allow pride to govern your principles. Live in honesty, & there'll be less chance at heartache later on. :)

3 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

I would be honest. Having your child live under a lie, would be too much stress for her. What would happen if she wanted to invite classmates over or for her to want to go to their homes? You would have drive to and fro all of that time.

Your child is more important than your friends. She needs to know her mom is an honest person. That you are sorry for all of this, but you appreciate her understanding and you are doing your best. And let her know she is free to share her feelings. It will NOT hurt your feelings, but you do feel bad about all of this,

You also know she is a good person and student and she is going to do great.

Is she a good student? If she is, I am sure she will be fine. At her new school explain the situation with her new teacher and let her know you are concerned because of all of these moves. Let her know you want open communication.

I know all of this is tremendously stressful mom, but your child is depending on you to make the best choices. No regrets, just always moving forward.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

I switched schools something like 6 times when I was younger. I missed my old friends but it wasn't a big deal. If your daughter is game, and the current school district has a problem with her continuing, I say, do the honest thing.

Your reputation for honesty is much more important than pride.
That's the only thing you want to drive home to your daughter, right before High School.

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J.N.

answers from Lubbock on

There may be more help for you than you think. If students don't have a permanent home and are living in transitional housing, with relatives, or a women's shelter they are considered "homeless"'and can stay at the same school. The district will even provide special transportation so that your child doesn't have to keep changing schools.

I went to 15 schools. It got worse the older I got, starting at about age 12. If its convenient and she doesn't mind, changing schools would not be bad, but there may be honest and convenient options.

Updated

There may be more help for you than you think. If students don't have a permanent home and are living in transitional housing, with relatives, or a women's shelter they are considered "homeless"'and can stay at the same school. The district will even provide special transportation so that your child doesn't have to keep changing schools.

I went to 15 schools. It got worse the older I got, starting at about age 12. If its convenient and she doesn't mind, changing schools would not be bad, but there may be honest and convenient options.

1 mom found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

If you're saving money to eventually buy your own home, a long commute is going to eat away at that - and you are at the mercy of gas prices.
I'd switch schools for right now and really try to finish up with all this moving before she's in middle school.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

If your daughter is up to changing, then keep the family together, with the shorter commute. Once she gets to be in 10th grade, changing schools will be an issue.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

It's possible that it's legal to move but keep your daughter in the same school. Check with the district office. We were able to do this with my daughter and now she's done this with her daughter. Some districts allow this because it can be in the child's best interest to continue in the same school.

However, Since she sees the move as an adventure she and is willing to make the move I'd transfer her. There are advantages either way you decide.

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D..

answers from Miami on

Your daughter sounds amazing. I'm sorry you are all going through this with the foreclosure.

I read somewhere that a family had to pay a large bill to the school system because they fudged who she was living with so they could keep her in a school. I think they said she lived with the grandmother, when she really didn't. I'd hate for that to happen to you, so do your "homework" on this one.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

I think that if your girl is excited about it, go for it. You may end up liking this other suburb and staying there, who knows?

It will also be less of a hassle in the long run. I did the 'commute' thing for the last three months of a school year in high school... it was a lot of driving for my mom. We transferred and started at the new neighborhood school. If it hadn't already been mid-semester, I think my mom would have just moved us.

This is also an example of modeling ethical behavior for your family. Seems silly, but we have some families who lie about addresses to be able to send their kid/s to certain desired schools. I can't imagine how embarrassing it would be for the kid if that were discovered.

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B.S.

answers from Odessa on

I just wanted to add I think your daughter is amazing to see this as an adventure:0) There are mean girls everywhere, including the most expensive Christian schools.
My mom got a bill for tuition when we had 2 homes in 2 different districts because I was living 1/2 mile inside the other district. Owning a home in the original district didn't count because I didn't reside there.

R.X.

answers from Houston on

Don't worry about the little lie. Schools are teaching the kids of illegals. They should teach yours who is illegally out of the desired district. Good luck.

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