Help My Toddler Won't Eat ANYTHING!

Giving in and letting him have Cheetos or cookies is teaching him to hold out for the bad stuff.

Don't cut back on his fluids, esp if by those you mean water and watered-down juice. He needs to keep hydrated.

Don't force the food issue. Don't punish him for not eating. Just have snacks avaiilable at all times, healthy, nutrient-dense snacks. The Dr. Sears Baby Book has some great tips on this. Use an ice cube tray, fill each little square wiht a different type of snack: carrots, hummus, oranges, raisins, etc. Let him "graze" through the day. Don't let him run through the house with food in his hands, though. That's a choking hazard. Keep him company and entertain him at the table while he takes a pit stop for a nibble. And provide some toys that stay there and are his "table friends."

Forcing it won't work. But when he's hungry, he'll eat what he needs. Also, remember that his stomach is about the size of his fist!! So don't expect him to eat much at any one sitting!

L.

Hey,
My son is the same way only he is seven. I have taken him to the doctor and everything because I got so freaked out about his weight. But, We do something similar to one of the other advisers. We allow him several choices at breakfast and lunch, kind of like pot luck. Then at dinner I will give him the option of eating what we eat or having a health drink. We buy boost plus which is for healthy weight gain. He also takes a cool vitamin every day. But, We make a game of it. He gets to take care of his vitamins and every night before bed, he gets them from their hiding place and picks one to take.That way he feels that he has control. We used to do standoffs at the table trying to get him to try something. That didnt work. As you well know, At that age when they set their minds to something, you arent often able to change it. Good luck with everything. And remember, This too shall pass!
A.

I had a toddler with the same problem. He is six and still does not eat hardly anything. He wont eat any type of meat. thankfully he likes peanut butter. He gets all the protein he needs with that. The other things can help fill him as long as he gets some protein every day.

Hi,

I have two very picky eaters. I was real tired of making the same three meals day in and day out. I tried letting them picking things out of my cookbooks but that did not work. While standing in the grocery line I picked up a couple of the $4.99 cookbooks that you tear the receipe out of and that had pictures on each card pulled them all apart gave each boy a stack and said start picking what you want to try. We started out trying something new each Wednesday night with somethings a hit and some a miss but last week they ate three new things and liked all of them. They have now decided I should write a cookbook for picky eaters. What they liked and made them try more food was they could see what it looked like and I assured them that if there were things that they did not like in the receipe I would remove them or replace it with something they already ate. I have a request for three new meals this week so it is working. I have also started to cut the receipes out of my womens magazines that have pictures to try.

Good luck.

J.

S.,

I dare say you've gotten this advice already but a child is not going to starve to death unless there is a mental or physical component. In the moments when my children have gone on food jags they still got what the family as a whole got. If they ate any of it, great. If they did not, they went hungry (no food, snacks or drinks other than water) until the next meal. I've only had one child who fasted for three days. And after that time, even he was willing to eat the good food his mammy cooked for him!

Don't fall into the trap of feeding any child only what they want. My DSIL does that with her almost four year old daughter and currently she will only accept fruit snacks for breakfast. For a while she only ate bacon and candy or cheap fish sticks or chicken nuggets from Aldis. Somehow she is surviving but I worry about the long-term reprecutions.

K.

If your son eats Cheetos and cookies, I wouldn't worry. When he is hungry enough he will eat. At his age there is very little he has control over. Eating is one of those few things. Offer him food when everyone eats. If he doesn't eat, save it and offer it to him if he's hungry. I know it sounds easier said than done but hunger is a basic human drive. Trust me-when he's hungry he'll eat.

One thing you can do -- make sure he is taking good supplements. Really, with the condition of food in our society, every child needs them! Be aware, though, that most over-the-counter supplements are synthetic and don't do much good. If you would like to email me with your address, I'll send you some free samples of some I'm sure your son will like. They are a terrific answer for picky eaters! Whether you chose mine or those from another company, supplements will help him and will help set your mind at rest. And he certainly isn't going to get all he needs to grow and develop from Cheetoes.

S. B.
____@____.com

You have some great advise below. Just to add to it, when I am in a similar situation as your's, I sometimes put on their favorite video, while I spoonfeed my 3 year old twins. This way they are too distracted to push away the food.

Also, when one of my twins was going through a similar phase for a bit too long for my patience, I showed him a YouTube video of starving children from Chad and told him that those children did not have food to eat, so their bodies have become so weak that they have to drag their bodies on the ground. He got so scared for himself and started eating well that very moment. Sometimes, I still have to remind him of the starving children and it works again!

Another thing that works for me is temporarily reducing the temperature inside the house to about 68 degrees and offering him hot foods .... or increasing the temp to about 85 degrees and offering him cold foods. Sometimes I put his chair outside in the fresh air and he loves to eat there. Either way, it is just a passing phase. Sometimes, lasting a week.

Hey S.,

Your struggle is a common one but also one that can become a severe problem. So my advice, don't worry about this. Don't push the food issue at all and the only concerns for you are that he stay hydrated and that at his next checkup see if the doctor will run some labs/CBC/Chem panel to confirm that everything is normal. As for not pushing the food issue, well it is a control factor and if you make a big deal of it, so will he. He will even punish you by not eating if it progresses. What he is doing is perfectly normal, and even trying to control you by his eating habits is normal too.....the problem is when you overreact and then he recognizes he has got you. At that point it could lead to more severe stuff like an eating disorder. But again what he is doing is 100% normal. So how could you respond. You could keep fruits, cheerios(dry cereal), and snackable veggies available at all times. Then plan your meals to what suits you and for at least l meal have a food he likes as a side dish(mac/cheese, PB/Jelly, etc). Fix him a plate and put it in the appropriate meal eating place. Leave it for him to eat after you make him aware of it's location. The only rule you should have for him is that he must eat something from one of his plates(daily meals) in order to get the unhealthy snacks(cookies, potato chips.) You could also get a calendar for him and a pack of stickers. On the days once he eats something you fixed , he could place a sticker on the calendar as both of your visual reminders that he can have any snack, not just the healthy ones. As time progresses you can decrease the amount of junk food in the house and his variety should be growing. Just remember not to be forceful, not to complain to hubby around him and do your best to make sure it can't be seen this bothers you.
My little one is the same way...she started younger due to acid reflux but my concerns were long term food aversion and possible eating disorder. But I have been doing everything I suggested and well... she is greatly improved. I also bought her a children's bistro set that i placed by the window and where i serve her, her meals at her height. It has worked and she enjoys eating there. and over the last 2 weeks, she has begun requesting "highchair" so we are finally using it.
Numbers to know... 20 oz of milk a day, more means feeling full.
16-20 oz of juice a day, more means less appetite.
Regular Bowel Movements both in frequency and consistency(appetite can be dependent on this in a little one)
A trick ..but don't use often, feed in front of tv show he likes.

So again, don't stress, this is normal and it too will come to an end. Best of luck and effort.
-MB

If/when your child gets hungry, he WILL eat. If you continue with the "well at least he ate SOMETHING", cheetos and cookies are all he will EVER eat. Keep offering healthy foods. He will not let himself starve. If you give junk food as an alternative, OF COURSE he will pick it.

Just my take....my niece is the same and her parents give in and let her have chocolate, because at least she's eating. This can get really bad, she is 4.

I realize it's hard with all the worry, but there are biological imperatives that will make him eat when he is hungry. I'm not saying offer only broccoli, but surely he'll eat a nutrigrain bar or cereal...sweet, but much better than cheetos and cookies.

Have faith in biology, the child WILL eat when he's hungry. Try to make sure that cheetos and cookies are NOT an option (i.e.don't keep them around for a while).

we went through tthis too. and this totally goes against my parenting "style", but we were starting to dread mealtimes! i make dinner, child frinedly types of foods, but not kids menu types of things, does that make sense? no hot dogs, ck nuggets, etc, but our dinners weren't too grown up either, not too spicy or hard to eat, and then gave our kids dinner. they could sit there and eat, or leave. we didn't do the "one more bite" thing, we didnt give alternatives, when they felt done, we let them leave. we told them that it was important to try everything, to see if their mouths were growing up like the rest of them (an idea they love!!) but we did tell them, if you don't eat your dinner, this is it for the rest of the night, you can eat at breakfast. if they did finish what they were given, we might give them more dinner or one of their favorites, like yogurt, or some bread. but if they don't eat, they don't eat. they can just eat at breakfast. it has really worked for us. we weren't ever nasty about it, and not eating was never a punishment, it was their choice. we are happier, and they both have really expanded their preferences from this. they both really like salmon, broccoli, lentils and anything with feta cheese now. one of my kids is big for her age, but the other is pretty tiny for his age, and neither one seemed to really lose weight. and after a week, our dinner battles were over. also, when their dad and i were done eating, they had to be done too, not just sitting there mushing their food around. hope it helps!

I'm also a physical therapist but I specialize in children (PCS). Could your son have sensory integration difficulty in his mouth? I have worked with a lot of kids who do. They tend to have trouble eating particular textures (crunchy vs. sticky, etc) and often hate anything mixed together, like rice pudding or stew. If you think he might have some trouble like this, you may be able to find an OT or SLP in your area who specializes in feeding difficulty and who can do a thorough evaluation of your son and give you some ideas to help. He could just be your average toddler, but if you think he's seriously not eating enough, it can't hurt to get him checked. MOST kids will not starve themselves, but there are some who will!

Hi S.- My two older kids did the same thing at the same age. A child will not let themselves starve. It will pass, and before you know it you won't be able to keep enough food in the house to feed him. I recommend that you don't cater to him by giving him the snack foods because he will realize that he will be able to get those kinds of food if he doesn't want to eat what you serve him. If he isn't hungry right then, just keep offering it to him. He will eventually get hungry and eat. You will have to be able to figure out when he is trying to get you to give him the snack foods and when he truly isn't hungry. Good luck!

My youngest sister was tiny and had my mother worried the same way. Then she had the same concern with her oldest son!Boy did my mother have a laugh at that one 30 years later! The pediatrician told my mother just what my nephew's pediatrician told my sister: They are getting enough food to sustain them. They are healthy and not starving. Working with children for several years the smaller children just eat less sometimes because it doesn't take as much food to fill them up. I would keep healthy finger foods around but I would not make a forceful issue out of eating. You won't win and a pointless power issue over food often becomes a life long issue if you let it. I certainly would not let Cheeto's and cookies replace a meal. Smaller meals in the form of healthy snacks about 6 times a day rather than big overwhelming plate meals help also.When my own daughter went through the finicky toddler stage I kept raisins, peanut butter, orange slices, apples wedges and dry cereal like Cheerios (not the sugary kind) around. Nothing wrong with staying in the habit of sitting at the table at supper time, though--even with her dry Cheerios!

Hey S., my grandson is the same way. the bottom line is that a child is not going to starve himself. If he is growing correctly based on the norm then i wouldn't worry, but giving him the snacks will only tell him that if he waits long enough he'll get what he wants....they have cut back my grandson's liquid intake as well, it's helped some but not much. R.

Oh my, can I relate. My son is 6 1/2 and still only eats about 5 things that would be considered good for him. This has been a LIFELONG issue, even as a baby. He has never eaten a piece of fruit or a vegetable. For awhile he would eat thinly sliced ham -- now the only meat he will touch is bacon. The only other protein he will eat is peanut butter. He will not eat a PBJ sandwich so he just eats it off of the spoon. He will also drink chocolate milk. I have begged, bribed, pleaded, withheld food, etc., NOTHING and I mean NOTHING has brought about anything but tears (for both of us) and frustration. The few times that I have gotten him to eat something normal (mashed potatoes, rice, etc.), he will immediately throw it up. He just starts gagging immediately. So, here's my two cents. Let him/her eat what he wants that is good for him. I fix dinner for the whole family and give my son 3 spoons of peanut butter on a plate. I try and make him drink 2 glasses of chocolate milk (chocolate flavored instant breakfast is what i use)a day. I limit his intake of junk food, but can't completely control that. He has 3 older normal-eating siblings. I have taken him to the doctor several times about this issue. Really, their response comes down to this. If your child is within normal ranges of height and weight, don't worry about it. He'll eat when he's ready or he won't eat and he'll just have to live with it. Another question that my doctor asked is, "Is he normal in other areas of his life, or is this peculiarity one of many?" For us, the food thing is it. If there are more red flags, I'm sure your doctor can direct you to some other sources of information that will help. Most children do outgrow this -- but mine hasn't yet. Hang in there.

Hi,
I am a disabled RN with a 15 yr old daughter. I had to hand feed her most of her meals until she was 3 years old, and sometimes even when she was older. Why? Because she did not have the attention span to sit and eat by herself. This was especially true if there were other people at the table, or a lot of distractions (like in a resturuant). I would say, sit with him, without disctractions like a tv and offer him food, during the meal

P.

when he is hungry; he will eat...giving him snacks (while conforting) will only make his picky eating worse... I use to have a child like that... she did go to bed once without eating (I cried) but she ate the next morning and has sense stopped being so picky...there are a few times she would rather not eat then to eat what I cook. :)

My Daughter is one of those who's in the lower 10th percentile for her weight and eats and then stops...
The Ped gave me BUNCH of advice on WHAT to feed her but she eats when she wants.
My advice (b/c she went through a few months where she wouldn't eat at all for a few days then ate like the proverbial horse...;-).
DON'T Let him snack all day-I was doing that b/c at least I knew she was eating SOMETHING and turns out she Lost weight with that.
Also, DON'T give him Sugar-I made the mistake of giving my daughter that kids yogurt with tons of Sugar in it, now she eats it everyday (I limit her to 1 cup, but still).
I hope this helps (btw-she recently has eaten us out of house and home and grew almost 2.5 inches!! Your son will eat when he needs it).
Also, I wouldn't punish him for not eating-I'd make sure he ate with us at the table and knew that other than "snack time" that was it, if he realizes he has limited opportunity to eat, if he's hungry he WILL.
Oh-do you think he's having adjustment problems w/ his new sister and is he constipated?? Those 2 will affect the appetite.
Good Luck!
:-) C.

Dear S.,
I have 3 children a 9 year old, 7 year old and a 3 year old and everyone of them went through that stage. The thing I have always done is just go ahead and put the healthy stuff on his plate (not every meal) but the ones you can and every now and then they'll surprise you and eat a bite or two. My older two love healthy food now and they eat normal. My 3 year old was like yours at 2 and it really worried me too. He turned 3 in June and eats way more than he did. During that time I just made sure he had a vitamin everyday and I also let him drink some V8 juice(he loved it). Anyway I know plenty of other mothers who have been through this too and we are not alone. This too shall pass and don't stress out when he isn't eating so much because it is so true that they will eat when they are hungry. Hope this helps!

Sincerely,
H. S.

I have been told both by nutritionists and doctors both that children that young will not starve themselves. Leave a baggie or bowl of Cheerios or healthy snack that he likes handy for him to munch on. Maybe make a trail mix of things he likes. Don't even have things like Cheetos accessible to Dad to give him. Maybe just slice yourself an apple, ignore him, and see if he comes over curiously. Toddlers like control. They don't have much so they try to grasp some where they think they can. Be strong and no he will not starve himself. As long as he is peeing daily and pooping a couple times a week, I wouldn't worry about it.

Signed Mom to six who has BTDT.

Our children are both picky eaters and did the same thing when they were little. I think our son lived on peanut butter crackers. I told the dr. my concern and he commented the p.b. crackers were fine and the peanut butter was good for him. The drs. seem to all say, they'll eat when they get hungry. As we all know, stay away from too many snacks and try to offer him anything that is good on calories (young children actually more than you think to develop well). Keep trying different things until you find what he will eat. I wish our kids ate more too but they just don't have big appetites and they are a great size (no concern about childhood obesity from this family). They let me know when they are full and I don't force them to eat. I will save their plate for an hour or two so if just a little bit of time has passed and they are wanting a snack ... they have to take 5 or 6 more "good" bites before that happens. It helps to get more food down them before I toss it and they get to snack.

hi S.. each of my children have went through the same thing. i took my daughter to the doctor because she would only eat flour tortillas. my pediatrician said that as long as she was drinking milk and taking vitamins that she would be fine and 'this too shall pass'. don't stress, i wonder if it has anything to do with the molars that they cut during this time. the timing seems to coincide. best of luck!

I think it is a real mistake EVER to force children to eat. At 2.5 your son is ready to battle for some independence, and food is a great battleground. Unless he seemed sick, I would go ahead and serve him as usual and put the food away without comment. He will eat when he's hungry. I never heard of an anorectic 2-yr.-old, but I suppose if he REALLY didn't eat anything a doctor and nutritionist could help you. From your account here, it seems as if he is training YOU--to give him junk food!

Don't worry too much about it; my kids were that way in their toddler years...picky, picky, picky. My son went through a phase at 2 when all he would eat was green beans and bologna! You can always offer him Pediasure...by offering it, at that age, I mean, put some in your cup and be all like, "Yum, yum!" Then he'll probably want some.

Our doctor told us when my little one went through that to give her pedisure to drink for the nutrients that she needs and just keep trying to get her to eat and let her eat what she will and not to worry to much about it for a while. I gave her pedisure, yogurt and eggs because that was all she wanted. There were days she would go through a dozen eggs a day and 6 cups of yogurt and the only things i would let her drink were pedisure and a little bit of water. She is very healthy and eats everything now.

Hey, how are u ?i had the same problem, and now she is 7, and is still the same way, my gosh, did i and still do try different food, she looks at me and say that's nasty. I said no you try it, it really is good, if he will eat breakfast food, u may have to try this in the afternoon time as well. My girl has big bone genes, so she is doesn't look to be missin a meal. Tell him no snacks until he eat. And no i don't suggest u leave the plate til he eat, he will never do it. Of course he loves mcdonald's, all kids do. Try oatmeal, grits, she just started to eat bread. I will never have another one and dont start them early, on real food. You take a bite and give him one, and say ooh this is good.. I had to do that too. Good luck keep trying....

My daughter is a picky eater also, she is almost 4 and our table at dinner used to be a battleground-it was pointless and made her not want to come to the dinner table. Don't make it a battle!! One piece of advice I heard when I started teaching preshcool was you can't make them eat, sleep or poop! It's so true!
This is what I with my daughter-she eats cereal for breakfast nearly every day-I ask her what she wants for breakfast-she knows what the choices are..cereal (normally cheerios) toast oatmeal etc...so she eats breakfast well. I also give her 2 choices of what she can have for lunch, she loves PB & J and corn dogs, but can't have those every day (I limit the dogs to once per week.) At dinner she has no choices, I cook one meal and make sure there is at least one thing there she will eat, so sometimes I will add a vegetable that she likes so she'll eat at dinner but she doesn't know I made it just for her. So, she's had 2 decent meals that day and she drinks milk with her meals. If she eats dinner well she gets a snack before bed which is good motivation. So you might make a deal with him, if he eats 5 green beans he can have 5 cheetos before bed (or whenever is convienient for you.) That's also a good chance to work on numbers-bonus!! Good luck-you may have a few years to go before he starts eating better! Oh-don't punish him for not eating and don't make meatimes a thing to be dreaded! As long as you are sitting at the table together that's good-he won't starve and don't let dad give him junk-he may be expecting it and that's why he's stopped eating!!