How to Raise My Family with Faith When I'm Clueless

My church is all about taking the next step. The next steps after regular attendance are to join Bible Study and to "get connected" to the church. Rather than showing up as a spectator every week, join a womens group, or vounteer.

I've been asking myself and God lately, how to spread that closeness I feel on Sunday throughout the whole week. How do I model Christian behavior for my children. Do I pray before I pop off my big mouth to my husband? Not usually. Do I excercise patience with them and exemplify the virtues of a Christian parent? USually, but not always. When issues, bills, problems come up, do I show my kids what it means to turn to God? No, I really don't. I hide the issues and pretend everything is always perfect and plentiful.

What I've decided for myself is that the music speaks directly to my heart and puts me in an attitude of praise. I downloaded a bunch of my favorite Christian songs and made cds for the car. I've repleaced the morning drive music, that starts my day off right. I'm praying with my kids at bedtime and they have a book of bible bedtime stories. The one thing I really have to work on is how to turn to the Lord before I open my mouth with my Husband! If we could get that power into our disagreements, they would go much smoother!

I would start by reading the bible. Start with the gospel of John and do a little at a time. Take time to pray and look for a bible study group in your church. I am so glad you are coming back to God.

Good for you! Get excited about the changes that you are believing to happen.
I would suggest to start with the Bible, I would start in areas that I am weak in for example Faith, I would look up all the scriptures on faith and read the entire chapters.
Do not forget that when we pray it is us talking to God but when we read our Bible it is God talking to us so carve out time in your day to listen and hear what God is saying to you and sometimes he may say just be patient and wait.

I am excited for you! God is good! I know I have been depressed and he was my medicine!

I am no longer religious, (but was raised that way and my parents still attend church regularly) so you can take this with a grain of salt if you like. I think the best way to connect with God is to spend more time talking with other Christians. When I was growing up I was involved in my church youth group, my mom and dad both went to bible study once a week, my dad was in a music group at church, my mom was in a group of women that did crafty stuff for charity, both my father and I were in choir, etc. Having people around you that constantly remind you of what you are doing and why makes a big difference. Sitting in church once a week is unlikely to do that.

Talk to your pastor. See if there is a book he or she would recommend. See if there's an adult Bible Study or small group that would help you learn more, meet people in your church, and discuss your concerns. I find that often I am not alone in a question and speaking to others helps. Get a devotional Bible. I like the NIV with devotions geared toward women.

Involve your kids with their peer group - Sunday School, choir, youth groups.

My grandmother, one of the most devout people I know, taught me it was OK to keep learning and questioning and you don't always have to understand but there's no harm in trying to understand. She had a faith crisis when her son in law (40 with 4 kids and a wife) died in an accident while her husband lingered, bedridden, with Alzheimer's. None of us is perfect and faith is a life-long process.

It sounds like you want to do more than religion. You want to do more than going through the motions. But rather, you would like to experience an intimate relationship with God and feel his guidance in your family's life.

We are Lutheran and I will say some Lutheran churches are really strong in growing people in God's word and F., and others not so much. We noticed that there were not a lot of small group studies (bible studies) available to young families. So we would host them in our home and let the kids play in the basement while we learned together. I have grown so much in F. and character from the small groups I have been in. I strongly recommend getting plugged into a small group (it doesn't even have to be from your church or a Lutheran church).

If you do not have time to join a small group, I would recommend 2 things. First get a NIV (new international bible) ~ they are easier to read and have footnotes that explain common questions. Start with the Gospel of John and then maybe read some of Paul's writings. Also, the Purpose Driven LIfe is excellent. It will inspire you.

Okay...just said a prayer that God would send you the people and things you need to nurture and grow your F..

Good for you! I think just being aware that you want God in your life more directly is a huge step. You'll be more mindful of opportunities to pray or say things to your kids. Being around people who share your faith is a good start. I would also recommend the book "the purpose driven life".

Good luck on your journey!

Is your Pastor reading passages from the Bible when you are at church? Follow that. When your children are old enough, put them in classes and you will learn a lot from following up on what they learned.

I recently switched back to my Catholic faith and love it and so does my husband. At first he resisted in the sense he wanted to continue to go to a non-denominational church, but he is enjoying the Catholic church.

For me, being in a community of faith is what is most helpful. It sounds like you are off to a really, really positive start--it seems like most people struggle with the part you have already found. I'm very happy for you--even envious! I recommend just starting to show up at churches! See if their service tells you what you need to hear. See whether people welcome you or give you the cold shoulder. Look in a bulletin and find out whether there are programs for you and your family--Sunday School, confirmation, children's church, Bible studies, women's groups, mom's groups, special interest (my church has a photography group)...obviously, depending on where you live, you may have more or fewer options, and a smaller church will be a closer knit congregation, but have fewer options for small group stuff... If just showing up doesn't sound like it's right up your alley, call and make an appointment to talk to the pastor. Get a feel for the leader of the congregation and see what he/she can tell you. Since you attended church as a child, you have some sense of how this works--make a list of the things that are important to you, and see how you feel about it if you have to compromise on those things. Most importantly, you should feel welcomed, uplifted, and encouraged.

Going to church is a great start. No matter how great the pastor is a teaching there is no substitute for reading the Bible yourself. Either start reading chapters before or after what the sermon is on, read Luke or John. or ask your pastor for a Bible reading plan. As far as other books start with the Bible then add a study Bible, anything by Max Lucado. If you are looking for scriptural basis for marriage I really like Love and Respect by Eggerichs and 5 Love Languages by Smalley.
Check into any Bible studies your church may host. Depending on the age of your kids look into MOPS while they don't preach they will have other benefits including ways to link with other Bible studies.
Prayer is also a great step. Glad you already have a start.

Yay for you (and your family will benefit)! I really like Eagles' response. I would add to that to pay attention to your own thoughts and feelings as you read the Bible and keep a journal of your studies. I would also suggest reading The Book of Mormon.

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Practice gratitude and other-centeredness (the word that was used when I was in Catholic school!). Do some simple prayer with your kids, and always include 3 things that you/they are thankful for and 3 people in their life that you/they have in your hearts and wish blessings on. That is what I do with my DD at bedtime. I say the Our Father and then we do thanks and blessings. Pretty simple.

One of the best things I ever heard was a woman talking about discussing with her daughter the food's journey to their table. I've adapted that for my 3.5 year old where we give thanks for the farmers who grew the vegetables, the transportation workers who brought them to the store, the man at the farmer's market who raised the eggs, etc. It both gives her a sense of living in a larger world and connects her to a generous God.

I really loved your question. I consider myself a person of faith even though my faith is not always strong, and it is really inspiring to me to see someone want to get on the path, and motivates me to work harder on my own faith!

You have many good ideas below already. I am currently reading "The Purpose Driven Life" and really like it. It is back to basics, and very thought provoking no matter what stage you're at. I was raised Catholic and have now been at a non-denominational church for 2 1/2 years. I think you can grow in your relationship with God in many places. Going to church on sunday is good, but it's not the whole answer. I agree with others that I have gotten the most out of bible studies and small christian based book clubs that I have been involved with. I still struggle with reading the bible on a regular basis, but I do think it's important - and I think it's infinitely easier if you have a version that explains things.

I have bought devotional books for my daughters (now 11 and 14, but bought the books years ago). There are many out there for girls, boys, teen girls, teen boys, etc. They take every day examples in their lives and show how God has a place in every circumstance and can help them in any situation. I liked how they made things "real" for my girls instead of just having them read the bible.

So happy for you that you are on this journey. Keep going and God Bless You!

I am Lutheran also, active in my church and even work there part time. I would get your kids involved in church school and other youth programs. Many churches even have youth directors or pastors. I would also try to find a bible study or small group, also available in most churches. I personally don't get much out of reading the Bible on my own and always find a way to put it off. I need other people to discuss the passages or a leader to help interpret them. You might also ask your pastor for a recommendation of some good introductory books. Our church often has a book club going on as one of its small groups. Praying and having conversations with God is a good start. Good luck.

I was raised Lutheran but now attend Wooddale church in Eden prairie. They have a program where you can be matched with a mentor who meets with you weekly and can help guide you and give you advice to help you with anything. This would be perfect for you! The mentors are sonloving and knowledgeable. They could help you set a plan in motion. I know wooddale has sister churches in many different suburbs. Check out the website. Contact a pastor and ask if you can be matched with a mentor even if you remain at your church. Visit wooddale sometime. It has been such a blessing to our family. We just switched last year. God Bless!!!

I agree with so many other posts on getting involved in bible studies and church activities. I also believe that our relationship with God goes through our heart and He will help us through whatever bridges we come too. This doesn't mean we won't have problems and hurts in our lives because those are what we are grow with. Leaning on faith during those times also helps your faith grow and that seems to be what you are doing now. I teach Sunday school and I think I have learned much more with that then I am even teaching. Reading the bible is always a good idea. I love reading through Proverbs when I am looking for answers.