Okay to Take My Younger Daughter to My Oldest Daughter Friend's B-day Party?

I agree only take the child on the invite unless you have been told that siblings are ok...
Many at home parties are ok to ask if its ok to bring a sibling but I would count on not taking a sibling to a venue becauase of expense... I dont know what I would have done in her position because when I budget for a party its often all I can afford and I would not have any extra to pay 250 more than the budget amount.

A. J

I don't ever take an uninvited child to a birthday party. If the party is at a kid friendly venue, then it probably costs at least $10-$15 per child. If several people show up with extra kids it can get very expensive, more than was budgeted by the host family, You didn't mention the age of your girls, but you may have to just get a babysitter for the younger one or leave her home with dad. This is an important life lesson that I think many kids miss out on, you don't get to do everything everybody else does, it isn't fun but that's they way it works.

Eventually your younger daughter will be invited to parties too and she will get to go have fun with friends her own age.

Now, that all being said, if you still feel the need to take the uninvited child you should contact the host ahead of time and INSIST on paying for your daughter. Then make sure to have the cash ready at the very beginning of the party and INSIST that the host take it. Most people are too polite to say "pay me for the other child".

Good luck!

no name on the invite no party.....

No, I think it's rude. Unless you are staying and paying for everything she eats and does, then I have to give a firm no. Your younger daughter also needs to understand that she is not invited, which means she doesn't always get to go! Not trying to be mean, I promise, just telling it how I see it :)

Invited child only - that is all I can say or you pay for your other daughter. I would't be very happy if someone brought there child and expected me to pay - lets face it - even if you say you are going to pay for her - the mom having the party will probably feel obligated and will end up doing it out of guilt.

Yikes! Tough one!! The easy choice would be to take the 2nd daughter as well,however proper etiquette would be to take the invited child only. As far as jealousy, that's just what happens when there are siblings. The younger child will get her turn of parties tho! I have 2 younger sisters and I would have been mortified if they had to tag along with me every party I went to.
If you can't get a sitter and dad is unavailable, then call the host ahead of time and ask if its ok to bring the baby sister. :-)

First, I wouldn't feel too bad about the extra kids. Part of the problem is the centers do not verify that the person is truly in your party. I made sure they had a list of people that were attending when I had my daughter's birthday. It was a good thing because they had counted 2 extra people that I didn't know before I even got there. Let's face it, it's sad, but the birthday person's name is at the front where the presents go, so it's very simple for someone to walk in and say they are part of so-and-so's party.

I would just ask the host of the party if it's okay. And then insist on paying any extra fees. I know it might get tiring always asking. But I don't think it's bad to ask. The host should probably ask about siblings, but they won't always think about it. I know I kept forgetting to ask when I had my daughter's party. Often times, the person holding the party may not have more than one child, so they may not understand the difficulty (e.g., the other child is jealous, you have to pay for a babysitter to watch the other child, etc.). I know I didn't know until I threw the party for my daughter.

I would not just show up, though. Sometimes the parents put together goody bags for the kids. And I would have felt bad if I didn't have enough for all the kids. Even if you don't expect that, the host still has the right to choose whether or not they want to provide the goody bag to the siblings.

We have birthday parties for both our girls in the next couple of weeks, so we are dealing with this issue ourselves. I think most parents specify "no siblings" or "siblings welcome" on the invitation, if they think about it. If it's not written, you should just call when you RSVP and ask. I had one parent ask in such a gracious way! She said she just wanted to know if the party included siblings, and if so, it would be Mary, Sarah, and the two parents. If not, it would be Mary and one parent. She was clearly able to make it work either way, which took pressure off me! As it turns out, this year, we're including the entire families for both parties. But my oldest is on a major birthday track right now (7 in 3 weeks), and these are very planned, orchestrated events, even the ones at home, so it is understood that no siblings should attend. I guess my thought is, if you have a party for a preschooler, you should naturally allow for siblings, because many of them have baby brothers or older sisters (for example). If they are school age, you should assume siblings are not included unless it's specified or you ask in advance. Find a way to ask that doesn't make the hostess feel obligated (don't say Mary can't come if you can't bring the siblings!).

Unless stated on the invite or you now the person well enough to ask it is a big no no to bring siblings. We also get inexpensive science gifts from USA toys store. Many of them are one time use, I now my son does not need a lot of toys that will just end up in the toy box.

I have to respond because this is one of my pet peeves. I budget money months ahead of time for my son's parties. And I purposely write on each invitation who is invited to come -- some households, my son is friends with both siblings. Others, he doesn't know that sibling at all. It is HIS party. So I keep that in mind -- who he would like to be there. And we have to carefully not invite others because that would make the party OVER BUDGET. So there are friends that my son may know but we can't invite b/c of $$ reasons.

Then, the party day comes and some families show up with siblings. And never say a word about it to me. So naturally, the business that wants to make more money -- writes the siblings down on the guest list.
Have you had parties for your girls at kid venues?? It's so expensive. We have so much fun, so that's why we do them. And we plan to spend a certain amnt of money, but I think some people who don't give parties don't realize how much is spent and they bring their sibling kids along rather than just be a parent and tell them 'no, this is a party for big kids -- big sister was invited. you'll get to go to a party later.' It's a life lesson we all have to learn -- we can't always get what we want.

So my opinion is to only bring the child that was named on the invitation. That's party etiquette. And that's what the host is planning on. If you can't find other babysitting arrangements, then you can decline the invitation. Sounds like you guys go to plenty of parties anyway. You can send a gift later to the child, if you want.
Can you imagine if every child at birthday parties brought their siblings along - some have 3-4 in a family?? What a big expensive party! Not very considerate of the party host and their finances.

As for gift ideas, I try to buy a $10 gift item at Walmart and then add dollar store coloring books/paint books/other little toys/activities sets to the gift bag.

My girls are 22 months apart & I'm at a point where it's getting difficult to not bring the other that wasn't invited. But my husband is rarely home so I have to take the other child (I never drop off my girls unless it's a party at a house). I always call ahead & warn the parent that I am bringing my other child (if the party is at CEC or kid friendly places) & that I WILL pay for my child no matter what.