Potty Training Advice - Portland, TN

Updated on March 24, 2009
K.F. asks from Portland, TN
31 answers

I have an almost two year old son and am in the very beginning stages of potty training. What I have been doing is just taking him in to the bathroom and sitting him on the potty about 10 minutes after drinking. When he gets ready for his bath, I have also been sitting him on the potty. After a very short time, he wants up. I know I should not be discourage but I am getting to that point. We have not been at this for more than 1 week but I am wondering if maybe he is just not ready. Any Mom's out there that could share there experience and some pointers...it would be greatly appreciated.

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C.R.

answers from Lexington on

Try tossing Cheerios in the toilet and have him try to pee in the middle of them. I've learned that making things into games works well with kids. Good luck.

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B.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

The book Toilet Training in Less Than a Day worked like a charm on my 27-month-old son (in less than a day). I found it in a used bookstore, or it's on amazon.

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C.O.

answers from Raleigh on

I am in the process of potty training my 2 yr old son. He was trained & after vacation he started having accidents again. I have trained my older son already. My rule is to keep trying. If they seem not interested yet wait a month & try again. He may not even be ready in a month but just try again the following month & so on. Good luck. Also don't bother with pull ups. Yes underwear can be messy but pull ups in my experience are no different than diapers to them.

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C.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

I have a daughter, and I heard that it is a little easier to potty train girls, but what we did was we started when she was about 18 months by letting her run around in the house in big girl panties. Then gradually - after she understood the potty and knew what the potty urge felt like- we would leave her big girl panties on when we were just running out for a short time. We never did the pull up training pants- I personally think it's hard for a child to know the difference. Just befor she was 2 and a half, she decided no more diapers and we didn't have a single accident after that!! I've heard from other moms too that you can push a child to potty train, but they won't do it before they are ready. So relax, and just guide them to the potty. They'll figure it out eventually! Good luck!

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P.R.

answers from Jacksonville on

It sounds like your son isn't ready. Don't worry he will let you know when he is. Don't force it. When he starts showing interest in the potty is when you should start trying. Let him see dad going potty so he understands that is where you go the bathroom. Give him some time before you know it he will use the potty all by himself.

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L.F.

answers from Nashville on

Dear K.,
You may be right about your son not being ready. Has he shown interest? Being a boy, it might really help if Daddy got very involved in the process. Also, my husband said he used to have to try to "shoot" the cheerios in the toilet. That's how he was trained...rather funny. Good luck to you! I have two girls and we did sticker rewards for our older one and just plain clapping w/joy w/our 2nd.
-L. F.

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B.M.

answers from Wilmington on

Hi K.. My suggestion is to relax and follow his lead. I tried potty training with our son when he was about your son's age, and it did not go well. I tried every suggestion in the book... sitting him on the potty at regular intervals, reading potty books, offering rewards, you name it. I really didn't feel like I was being "pushy" about it, just "gently encouraging", but he wound up getting very painfully constipated, and it was just a nightmare. At that point I decided to follow his lead, and things went much better. He made the transition at his own pace... for a while going #1 in the potty while still using a diaper for #2 most of the time, then eventually phasing out the diaper altogether. Once I made the shift in my mind to just let it be his decision, things were so much better. My advice is to just relax, accept the idea of diapers for a little longer (it won't go on forever!), and let your son know that it's his decision when he wants to choose the potty. It is ultimately his choice, after all. Let him feel proud of his choice rather than forced into it. Best wishes to you all!

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T.P.

answers from Memphis on

Your child will let you know when he is ready for potty training. Boys are notoriously slow at this process...more so than girls. I have 2 boys. I've potty trained one and am in the process of potty training the 2nd. For my older one, I introduced the potty and kept talking to him about it. I would put him on sometimes and not leave him on there too long. It took a while, but he finally did what I was trying to get him to do. Once he figured that out and that he could get out of the pull-ups, he decided he was ready. We have had few accidents since then. I plan to do the same with my second one. I do not want the battles because in the long run it only hurts him and me. Please don't get frustrated...he will be potty trained. Good luck.

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J.M.

answers from Nashville on

I noticed early on that my son would always pee right after a bath, so when he was almost a year and a half old I got him a potty seat. After every bath, I'd sit him on it, because I knew he had to go, and when he did, I'd clap my hands and make a big deal about it. Some days he'd go and others he wouldn't. Eventually he figured out that peeing was what he was supposed to do, and then he'd go as soon as I sat him down, no matter what time of the day it was. (I probably could've potty trained him at that point, but I wasn't ready for the commitment.) I finally got motivated a month before his second birthday; I took away diapers except at night, made him sit on the potty at regular intervals, and within a week he had the hang of it. So my advice is to make sure *he knows* what he's supposed to do on the potty, and don't necessarily give up just because "boys are harder to train." Everyone has to start somewhere. Good luck!

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A.P.

answers from Charlotte on

K.,
I have 3 children~all of whom are now potty trained!!! All of them 2 boys and 1 girl were not ready until about 3 yrs old and were fully trained (#1 & #2), at age 3 and a half. I know some kids do it a lot sooner, but with all of mine it was at this age. I would say your son probably is not ready, stop for a couple weeks and then maybe try again. And something else helpful, I use a sticker chart for everything~ if you pee pee in potty you will get to pick out a sticker to put on this chart and when you get this many (you set the amount) stickers I will reward you with a special toy( I usually took them to Dollar Tree and let them pick out a toy or I had previously found a toy somewhere else that was a good deal and had put it up for special occasions).Hope this helps.
A. Petty
Stay In Home And Lovin It

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J.W.

answers from Charlotte on

Hi. I had a long, sometimes frustrating, experience with potty training my daughter. We started at 2, but she didn't train until 3. In hindsight, I learned that she just wasn't ready until then. Earlier, it seemed the harder I would try, the more she would resist. I read every book, tried every method and did my best to not let her sense my frustration. My advice would be to leave the potty out in the bathroom and have him sit on it once a day (maybe before bath as you have been doing), but no pressure to perform whatsoever. I would revisit the issue in a few months and see if you think he is closer to being ready then. He may not be - it may take 6 or 9 months. But if you are patient until he is more cooperative and signals that he is interested in learning you will save both of you a lot of frustration. Good Luck!!

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T.R.

answers from Charlotte on

Hi K. - I got some GREAT advice from a friend of mine that worked for me. (She is a previous preschool teacher of 2yr olds.) She trained her whole class of 14 kids in TWO WEEKS!!!! But be prepared - it may not be fun!
First - NO pullups - only underwear - (and lots of changes of clothing - you may want to plan outings for after the first few days.) Take your little one to the potty ONCE an hour - make it fun - do a "potty dance" and make up a little song "We're going to the potty - gonna potty" anything silly and fun. If you have to - get a timer or set the one on your stove - that's what I did - also give him a book to read while he sit's on the potty. Then when he does go - even if it's only one drop or two - Make a huge big deal out of it - do that potty dance; swing him around in the air - take him to his favorite park - or let him pick what he wants for a prize - something afordable but small - we did trips to McDonalds playland with an icee afterwards when he had managed to go all day with out wetting.
He needs a goal to shoot for (no pun intended) something that he can work for but not get discouraged about when he doesn't get it - so make it something fairly easy to start with - maybe 5 extra minutes at bathtime to play or 5 extra minutes at bed time. I have a four year old and this worked for me when he was 2 - the idea is that kids don't like being wet. And an extra surprise when they go gives them incentive - maybe two or three M&M's - that worked for me with giving him candy overload too.
Above all lots of love and hugs and kisses and Patience --Prayer also helped me - just when I thought I was wasting my time - God gave me a breakthru! So remember to pray! Good Luck! T. R

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C.A.

answers from Hickory on

My son was 3 in Feb. I started doing the same things you are doing at around the same age. My son is just now completely trained. He has had the pee down pat for a while but the poo he had some trouble with. He has finally gotten it in the last couple of weeks. Some kids are ready at a very early age and some kids are not. I would keep doing what you are doing even if he seems not to be interested. when I first started sitting my son on the potty he would want up in 2 seconds flat. That is one of the reasons going poo was hard for him. He was in to big of a hurry to do something else. After a while it just started to become our routine and he just did it one day. So just be patient and remember something someone told me when I asked for advice about this on Mamasource, "Kids do not wear diapers when they are 16 so it will happen sooner or later." Hang in there and good luck!

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L.W.

answers from Hickory on

Almost 2 is a bit young IMO. He needs to first be able to recognize that he has peed in his diaper, and recognize when he needs to go. It also helps if they are at the stage where they don't wet during the night. This is usually closer to 3 years old. I think starting too young is just a set up for a long struggle, too much stress, and disappointment.

I have a son who is 2yrs & 3mnths and he has just started telling me when he needs a diaper. He has became more aware of when he is wet or dirty. I take him to the bathroom when I or his big sister (3) go, so he can sit on his potty if he wants to. But I am not pushing it or stressing him out over it.

A few weeks before my daughter turned 3, I started telling her in a very positive way that when she was 3, there would be no more diapers (pull ups) because BIG GIRLS used the potty and wore big girl panties! She started telling everyone the same thing and got excited about it. On her 3rd birthday she got a dozen pair of big girl panties, and the diapers stopped that day. She had very few accidents the first couple days and really caught on quick. She goes by herself now and uses the toilet (with a small stool). She has been very encouraging to her little brother, so hopefully his transition to underwear will go as smoothly as hers :)

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S.T.

answers from Nashville on

Hey K... My Mom always said, and did, if they can walk, they can walk to the bathroom. All of us, and grandkids did. You may have to take him with you, and let him know you are going potty. When he poops in his diaper, let him know how yucky it is, and take him with you into the bathroom as you dump it in the toilet, and flush it away. Visual is great.. if you have a baby doll that wets, sit it on the potty and let it go pee in the big potty. Two girls in our family got that right away!!!! Do not loose patience. It could take up to 6 weeks. If he isnt getting it by then, perhaps she is not quite emotionally ready. Consistance is the key!!! Good luck!

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H.B.

answers from Raleigh on

Oh the life of potty training!!! A few months ago, my friend purchased a fabulous e-book written by a lady named Lora Jensen's. Her website is www.3daypottytraining.com. My friend was successful with training her 2 1/2 year old daughter from the very first day of potty training "boot camp." So, she suggested I check it out (of couse I thought it would never work for my 2 1/2 year old son). I purchased the e-book and he was potty trained that very first morning! No kidding! I know that sounds like an infomercial...but it is absolutely amazing! You have to make sure that you follow Lora Jensen's method exactly to a tee! Lora does not say to do this part, but I prepped my son for a couple of weeks ahead of time. Everytime we went to Target, I let him pick out a new pack of underwear and I kept telling him, "It's almost time to throw your diapers away and wear your big boy underwear...aren't you so excited?!!!" I really got myself pumped up about it (which is important, YOU also have to be ready) and also got my son pumped up about it. During the training, I also made 3 charts (dry, wet, and poop) and let him pick out stickers to put on them. And then we also had small prizes stashed for when we were super proud of him (like if he was dry, said he needed to go potty and went). We just did this on Feb. 14 and he has been successful since! I have really been wanting to share this with EVERYONE I know. Please give this a shot! It REALLY works! Good luck!

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K.D.

answers from Raleigh on

I had success with putting cheerios in the toilet and having my son aim for the cheerios. Making a game out of it seemed to help.

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R.S.

answers from Greensboro on

We are potty training our 3-year-old daughter. It is not easy, and it is not fun. But it is a training process. I've seen children of friends that have been trained in 3 weeks, and some that takes months. We are taking the long way there it seems. Some of my friends say to punish her if she makes a mistake - and sometimes I feel like I should. But most of the time she does a good job and I don't feel that she should be punished for peeing in her pants. I think the embarassment is enough because she seems devastated when it happens. I'm doing what feels right and seems to be working for us - even it its taking forever. All children are different - do what feels right for you and your child. Good luck!

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S.P.

answers from Knoxville on

In my experience my boy was harder than my girl. She asked for the potty in the store and began using it right away by herself at 13 mos old.
What we did was changed to regular underwear with the plastic covers. (Hard to find, but Walmart does carry them some) It gave a very different feel to him. He no longer was comfortable if he podied in his pants. Then my husband took him into the bathroom with him and showed him how to do it. (He said he didn't want me having him set down and wipe anymore. :) Then we put some Cheerios cereal in the pody and Blaze (My son) was told if he could hit one with his pee he would get a piece of candy. This is how it started. After that first day Blaze got how to pee in the pody. Now the whole number two thing was a bit trickier. Cause neither of us were willing to take him in with us and so we just had to wait till he did it on himself. then we told him that was just like peeing that it too should be done in the pody and that he could have a piece of candy if next time he did it in the pody. Now each time he did use the pody we threw him a "I used the potty" party. We made a big deal about it. (If he wanted extra attention he would go to the bathroom and try so hard.) After about two weeks he had it down.

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R.D.

answers from Jackson on

You might not like my advice, esp. if you are intent on getting him potty trained now. I would wait until he shows signs of wanting to use the potty. Let him see you and his dad use the potty...esp. dad. Also, talk about the potty when changing his diapers. My son is 2 1/2 and when he has a poopy we go and put it in the potty and I tell him why. I tried potty training months ago, but he just wasn't ready. At first he did not mind, but then he started crying about it. That is when I stopped. He is getting closer to using the potty and even asked to sit on the potty the other day (did do anything though). I have notice that he is starting to be able to control his pee (using those muscles) b/c when we get ready to take a bath he says pee in the water as I take off his clothes and diaper. Then I put him in and he looks down and a few seconds later he pees. So he is learning control. Just be patient with him. 2 is early for a boy to start using the potty if he does not have an older sibling he is trying to copy...of course this is just an opinion from a mom with 2 boys...there are other moms with much more experience. :-)

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R.H.

answers from Charlotte on

This is an easy one to answer after been through the experience twice... my first question would be to ask yourself if you had an empty bladder, then drank a glass of water, could you go to the bathroom within 10 minutes? In my opinion the potty training books are not very helpful and give advise that makes a mother doubt her ability to change a diaper! The saying that each child is different is right on the money! My son took forever, and my daughter practically trained her self. The key to this is to try to figure out when they are currently going to the bathroom in their diaper. Look for the obvious signs like facial expressions, a pause in play, a verbal expression: for example my daughter did the little shiver one day, the same kind of shiver that a grown woman might get on the toilet and verbally said she was cold... now most people would think the girl was just cold, but I recognized that shiver and asked her if she thought she needed to pee...something clicked and we've been in sync ever since...whatever the feeling is, she associates it with being cold, so in our world - being cold equals having to pee! We together figured this out when she was about 27 months old and by 28 months old she was completely potty trained with only a handful of accidents. But, what is key is NOT to use pull ups. They are convenient for parents and even more convenient in the wrong way for kids. My advice is to let them learn the feeling, experience the result and link the two together in their head. If they never feel wet, they can't learn the association. Cloth diapers work like a charm in this area. Even if you child is in disposables, switch to cloth for a month and see the progress... they will learn pretty quick what wet feels like. They say girls are easier and I agree. Now onto the boy... well this one was tricky. I missed the window of opportunity thinking that I could just simply reason with a three year old. WRONG! Get'm while they are young... when they are two you have the control to physically place them on the potty. Make it part of your regular routine. At first, I wouldn't try to time the digestion track, but rather work it into the routine (such as first thing in the morning upon waking, after breakfast, before you leave the house, before nap time, after naptime waking, before dinner, and before bedtime) Those are natural times of the day to find success and most probable times of day that will continue to take place. At first the goal is not to produce a product in the toilet... but rather to get your child thinking about the idea and and getting used to taking time out of the day for the process. Eventually, without pressure, without bribes, without showing dissapointment the success will happen. When they start to figure out what the goal is, then it is a good time to introduce fun games or little treats and dances for success. The fun should be immediate gratification... a sticker may or may not do the trick... but a dance around the room (yes, every time), or an m&m, or for boys just the joy of aiming at cheerios and making bubbles is fun in itself. Create a no pressure environment. No pressure doesn't mean not consistent. The child needs to come to understand the acceptable social expectation and consistency is key. So always follow whatever routine and reward consistently. And the rest is up to them! You create the environment, but ultimately it's the child that makes it happen. It is truly a lesson in patience and perseverence for the parent :)

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J.J.

answers from Raleigh on

I think you are taking the correct steps. I have five boys that are 4-15. The best way for us was not to force them. They will truly do it when they are ready. Continue exposing him to the potty and let him know what it is for. Keep the routine and he will eventually get it. It takes alot of patience on your part, but it will pay off in the end.

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J.L.

answers from Raleigh on

K. - less then 2 sounds young for a boy to potty train to me. Our son started really showing signs closer to 3, but did what yours is doing, and when he was ready, potty trained closer to 3.5. All kids are different, but if he isn't showing interest in sitting, I'd sit back and wait a bit.

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A.C.

answers from Charlotte on

He may be too young. When my daughter was 2 I introduced her to the dvd, "Once Upon a Potty" and put a portable potty out in my family room. This caused her to become very interested in the whole subject. When she was ready she began to use the potty (she was 2 1/2) and as an incentive I had a sticker potty chart above the potty and every time she used it I put a sticker on her chart. It worked really well though obviously all children are different. Good luck!

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S.B.

answers from Nashville on

I have 2 boys and potty training them takes time. They will learn on their pace. I have a two year old son now who just turned two and I didn't ruch him but he goes and tells me when he needs to go. I am not stern on him like his grandparents are because I have learned with my oldest and even him that forcing them will do nothing but scare him and make him not want to. I have put him on undies from time to time I have noticed that the feeling of him being wet makes him want to go. So give that a try at least once a day he will get the hang of it.

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V.W.

answers from Wheeling on

Hi K.

This is what I did with mine.
I went in with them.
Set them on their potty.
Then Mommy sat on hers too.
I would make my noice; if you know what I mean.
They will hear that.
Then maybe figure out how they can do that too.
Tell them.
Listen Mommy or daddy making sounds.
Can you do that?
I am a good girl or boy yea!
Clao your hands.
Make a big fuss over what you done.
Then maybe he will want it too.
Just and suggestion.

Take care
God bless
Vicki W.

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J.C.

answers from Raleigh on

Hi K.,
Almost 2 is still pretty young for boys.While it's tempting to get him out of those diapars, you could also end up driving yourself and him to frustration if he's not ready yet. You won't succeed until he's ready, so it would be good to wait until you see that he is. When he is ready, he'll show a curiosity toward using the toilet, or be uncomfortable in dirty diapars. There will be a 'window' that will open for a time, and that's when you need to act. Meanwhile, note his habits. For my boys, they would fill their diapars right after eating, and a certain amount of time after having a full cup of liquid. You want to take advantage of their natural timing. Then, watch their body language so that you can tell when they need to go. Start 'tagging' their going with the bathroom words you'll use (words you won't mind using in public also). This will help them to label their activity, and be aware of it. Keep this positive. Meanwhile, set up the potty chair in a close-by spot, so you can get there fast. Place your treats in sight nearby, but out of reach, to build up the idea that they're special for only when he "makes a deposit" in the chair. You want him to have time to mull over the idea of connecting his chair to your toilet activity, and also to those treats, without confronting him with using it right away. Boys love a challenge. Be aloof, not needy. The goal is to get Need, Opportunity, and Gratification to happen at the same time. At the point where I could say, "Are you pooping?" (or something like that) and he could nod or answer yes.. I would tell him if he could do that on the potty chair instead of in his diapar, he would get (some special little treat.. like a raisin or a sticker, or something). Since my boys would go after eating, I would take them, and one book, there after a meal, and read to them while they sat. That helped establish the habit and familiarity with the concept.It helped if I at least pretended I was going at the same time he was sitting on his potty chair. If he didn't want to, he wasn't ready. If he does want to, but doesn't make it in time, keep it positive, and fine tune the timing. Many toddlers are afraid of their waste being separated from them (flushed down the toilet), so it's best to not empty the pot or flush the toilet (if you're using the toilet instead of a potty chair) until they're occupied somewhere else for awhile. Fear can take away from the Gratification and set you back in your progress. After he's gotten the sitting business down, and he's tall enough to stand and pee over the rim of the toilet, he could try standing up for peeing. You have an advantage with a boy in this area. You can use 'targets' for him to aim at. A square of toilet paper (you can even draw something on it first), even cheerios, work well for this, and will help him improve his aim. You will save you a lot of bathroom clean-up in the future, too! BTW, warm weather is right around the corner. You could get him out of his diapar and into training undies while he's outside, so that he can tell right away when he's 'too late', without the mess of soiling clothes, floor, chairs, etc. inside, as he fine-tunes his training. Be patient. The whole process could be quick, but it could just as likely take months to finish. Stay positive, knowing that he won't be going to the prom in diapars! ; )

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G.I.

answers from Huntington on

Hi K.,
What I found that worked with my twin boys was that they liked to stand up and "pee". Maybe it helps with the air hitting them just like when they were babies and we were changing their diaper as fast as we could so that we didn't get a shower. It wouldn't hurt to try.
Good Luck and you can always take a break and start all over in a week or two.

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J.A.

answers from Goldsboro on

Hey K.. It's never to early to let him explore the potty. You're doing right by letting him sit on it. If he's not crying when you put him on the potty that's a good sign. My daughter was the same way. When we'd sit her on the potty she'd jump right up after a few seconds. We just let her explore the potty and play around with it. We introduced the kiddy potty to her, she didn't like it. She liked the big potty more. I got her a potty seat adapter and she loved it. She was showing some signs of readiness. She would go into the bathroom and wanted to sit on the potty with or without her clothes on. We started potty training her when she turned 3. Neither of my girls really showed signs of potty training readiness. They never said when they were wet, dry, took their clothes off etc. That's why I didn't start potty training my girls until they turned 3. I would just keep doing what you're doing and when he's ready he'll let you know in some way. Some kids do show signs of being ready. I think once he sees how to do it he'll pick it right up. Just be patient, easier said than done I know. You might want to praise him a little for just sitting on the potty. Maybe that will encourage him to want to use the potty. Good luck!! J. A.

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A.H.

answers from Nashville on

Potty training was the one thing that I dreaded the most with my two children. I learned quickly from others' advice and from experience that they will not potty train until they are ready. With my first son, we started around two introducing him to a small potty. We sat it in the living room so he could sit on it clothed and watch t.v. Next, we moved it to the bathroom and he would sit while we went to potty. After bath, he would sit on it in his towel. He eventually started asking to go and we then used a reward system. He was trained by 2 3/4 yrs. He still had occasional accidents but that comes with the process.
My second son turned two in January. He trained himself by watching his brother. Somehow, though, the second one caught onto the signals faster than my first son. He still has some accidents and uses a pull up at night just in case but he stays dry all day and night.

Don't pressure your son because boys tend to take longer and you don't want him to decline in other areas from the pressure of being forced to potty train when not ready.

Good luck and don't let this take over your life because you don't want to miss other milestones he may be having while you focus on potty training.

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J.X.

answers from Asheville on

He is not ready yet. For boys, it is about 2.5 and 3 when they are ready.

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