Stay at Home Moms... - Nashville,TN

Updated on September 13, 2010
T.S. asks from Nashville, TN
39 answers

For those stay at home moms on a limited income, how do you do it? My husband and I both work full time. He is a truck driver and is only home a few days every 3-5 weeks. With him gone so much, I am basically a single mom and with working full time, I feel like my kids are just not getting the attention they need and deserve. I very much would like to be a stay at home mom - one that can be involved with the kids school, do fun activites with them throughout the week (not just on weekends), have the time to cook healthy meals for them and keep my home in a more constant clean state.

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To add, we are already on a very tight budget. I was laid off last year (after 8 1/2 years) only a few short months after relocating our family to TN. I was out of work for 6 months and when I finally got a job offer, it was with a salary cut. My husband also had issues finding a job that would pay a decent wage when we moved. February of this year is when he went to trucking school and went out on the road, so he is a new driver, not making nearly as much as experienced drivers and his weekly paycheck can vary drastically. We have no family here - my in-laws were supposed to move within the year, but the recession has put that on hold for them with not being able to sell the house and find a job. My husband always worked nights, so our daughter was always with daddy during the day till she started pre-k last year and even then, he picked her up everyday right after school. Our son didn't start daycare until my husband left for school in Feb. So this has been a big adjustment for them going from being home with daddy all day to not only being in school/daycare all day, but also having him gone for weeks at a time.

My daughter is in Kidergarten and we pay for after-school care for her. My son is only 2, so he is in daycare. We already cut all expenses. No cable, one car, no eating out, clipping coupons, no family excursions that cost money (we do a lot of free stuff at our local parks). I never buy cloths for myself; only for the kids and that's only when absolutely necessary and I never pay full price. I have a knack for searching clearance racks and finding great deals at the end of a season - I have cloths in every size for my son up to 6 years old - not everything he needs, but enough to start. I also get hand-me-downs from my friend who has 2 boys. I honestly don't spend money on anything except the necessities, nothing extra!

I've looked into working at home, but seems everything I find is either a scam or pyramid schemes. Right now I do data management and quality assurance for a research program at a local hospital. But I have years of experience as a high level AA and also doing gala and meeting logistics. I'm computer savvy and was kind of a jack of all trades at my last job.

I know not having the time with me (or daddy) is affecting my daughter. She's a smart girl and believe me, has no problems telling me when she's not getting enough time with me. I know it affects my son as well, though I don't think it is as bad since he is younger and didn't have as much time to himself with us.

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone for your input. Right now there is no way we could survive on just my husband's income, but possibly in six months or so when he has a year of driving experience and can be earning more. Believe me, as much as I want to do this, I know it's not something that is going to happen right away.

I am going to look into some of the work at home info that you all have provided and see if any would be a good fit for me. For those who have posted Dave Ramsey stuff, we are already following his teachings and striving to live debt free (car payment and 2 small loans left!). We are also hoping to have a close friend and her kids move here to TN and they would be living with us for probably a year to get settled which will help cut our expenses since we will be splitting rent and utilities, but she has to wait till her lease is up and she can transfer her job.

So for right now, I think six months is a reasonable goal for me to potentially be able to become a stay at home mom! Until then, I will continue to do my best in spending every moment I can with my children and letting them know that even though mommy and daddy both have to work, that we love them and do it to provide for them. Thanks again for all the input!

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T.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

We have a family of 6 on my husbands tiny salary. It was very important for me to be a SAHM. Yes, there are sacrafices. BUT, it is 100% worth it. I am the mommy that is homeroom parent, cooks all the meals, has the brownies ready when they get home, volunteers in the classroom etc. This fulfills me more than a career. There are days it is overwhelming, but i would not change a thing.

I spend at least 2 hrs in the grocery store. I use coupons and compare prices. I try to save 100.00 a trip. We only go out to dinner 1 or 2 times a year. My kids qualify for reduced lunch at the school and their baseball teams waive the fee. That helps us so much! We use all of the hand me downs we can get.

Please email me if you would like and i can think of more tips.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.V.

answers from Chicago on

No TV, rarely eat out, no vacations where you go somewhere and stay in a hotel.

I also use cloth diaper and breastfeed.

1 mom found this helpful
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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

It really depends on the salary of the primary breadwinner. There's only so much a family can cut, no matter how careful you are. If neither parent can earn enough to support the whole family, then both have to work.

Different States have different costs of living, so there's no one income level that can be considered the definitive amount to support a family. It depends on where you live.

If you have a lifestyle such as Tracy, below, and still are unable to make it on one salary, then the sad truth is that you may have to continue to work. This recession has not helped the issue.

Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

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N.S.

answers from Detroit on

I didn't really plan on being a stay at home mom, but we were lucky to have insightful people in our lives. When we bought our first home, our mortgage person suggested we make it affordable on only my husbands income, just incase I decided to stay home. I also worked a home based business on the side of my full time job prior to having kids. Now I get reorders to give myself some spending cash (aka money to buy gifts for husband so he's not buying them himself). :)

We also run our cars into the ground before buying a new one. I get all hand-me-downs for our kids. I nearly never buy new clothes for them, they usually receive some as gifts so it gives their wardrobe a lift. Their gifts are usually garage sale/mom to mom sale/hand-me-down items.

They are still young, and things may change as they get older. My oldest is starting preschool and I did buy new clothes last season for fall ($1 per item) at an outlet store.

We actually aren't on too limited of a budget, but this is the way we live incase unexpected expenses come up. We also like to vacation and this is how we save for it.

Oh, and I agree with the other mom on the clean house. Having kids home all day just lets them mess it up...ALL DAY :)

Healthy meals...you could plan ahead. Have you tried crockpot meals? Casseroles. Or make double batches and freeze one for another day when you won't have time to cook. Soups, spaghetti sauce are really easy to do this with. My kids haven't been too big on soup or casseroles, but I just make sure I can pick out big chunks of veggies and meat from the casserole. Not a short order cook.

Best wishes

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L.M.

answers from Nashville on

it's tough and requires sacrafice, but even all the sacrafices in the world won't enable you to be a SAHM if it's not really an option financially. My husband travels too and is gone ALL..ok, most of the time and since he sometimes flew to his destinations we became a one car family. When he was home we had to schedule and organize ourselves better but it worked. I never would have thought in a million years one car would have served our family but it did and we were determined to give it a try. What about part time work for you? Working while the kids are in school? If they are school age, check into working at their school or any school part time. I'm not sure what your skills are, but small churches need a secretary, but only part time. Some Parent's Day Out programs can work you part time...just a few hours every day, or 2-3 days a week. Just some ideas.

good luck

1 mom found this helpful

S.B.

answers from Topeka on

We live on a tight budget. Very tight.

One thing we do for meals is we name our meals with the days of the week. Like Monday is Manwich... Tuesday Taco's... etc... it is really easy to stick to and very low cost meal plan.

Another thing is I clip coupons. I have never been one to clip coupons but when I found out how much money I can save on things we need, I clip away.

Also rely on outside light to brighten your home. Have the blinds open during the day. And when it is nice outside, open up your house instead of running the air.

If you live close to the store, walk. Use your vehicle only when you need it.

Those are just a few ways. There is a nice website that I like called www. hillbillyhousewife. com . It has some helpful information on how to be thrifty.

1 mom found this helpful

L.C.

answers from Kansas City on

i totally know how you feel. I am a work at home mom though. But trust me on this one, there is anything BUT a house of more constant clean! lol. my house is always a disaster.

how strapped are you on your budget? is being a stay at home mom even an option for you? would working from home be an option? it would be a big pay cut, but you could bring in a little extra?

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L.D.

answers from Knoxville on

Start your own business. I listened 2 friends & neighbor's concerns about errands, meals, time, etc...& began offering 2 do things for them they either did not have time 4, or simply were not good at, such as cooking meals. It started slowly, with just a neighbor or 2, then, as word got out, my clientele increased, & now I have a good time doing things I'd already be doing, & make enough to cover the bills, with a bit left over for fun stuff.

J.B.

answers from Memphis on

T.,

I was impressed as I read your details that you are willing to sacrifice and have made many smart decisions - so have the moms that have responded to you! When my family was growing - many moms were too self focused to deprive themselves of fluff in life to stay home with their children - that is not the case in people like you. It is totally worth whatever it takes to spend more time with their children.

There are a ton of work at home scams. After giving up teaching to stay home with my children, I started looking. Fortunately, there are some good companies helping families add some breathing room in their budget. I work with a wellness manufacturing company that provides families with an opportunity to get a few extra hundred dollars or several thousand extra without inteferring with their main priorities.

If you go to www.melaleuca.com and click on Getting to Know Melaleuca - you will hear some moms speak. You can also check www.melaleucaawards.com to verify this company is honest and ethical and helping - not hurting.

Bless you for having the right priorities.

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H.S.

answers from Johnson City on

I am also a stay-at-home Mother living in Tennessee. I graduated with my Master's degree in Early Childhood Education when I was 6 months pregnant with my son. He was a very blessed surprise, and I did not intend to stay at home after finishing graduate school. After the birth of our son, my husband and I decided that it was more important for me to stay at home rather than pursue a job in teaching at that point in time.

We currently rent our 2 bedroom condo for $650 a month. It is 1500 square feet with a garage, and more than enough room for our family. At this point in time, it is more advantageous for us to rent instead of own. This gives us the option to relocate should my husband find another job.

We have two cars - one car that is completely paid off, and only one car payment each month. We clip coupons, and very graciously accept hand-me-downs. I breastfed my son for 14.5 months. I shop at consignment stores for my son's Christmas presents, and we often give home made gifts to our family members. We have no brand new furniture (it is all used), and no landline phone. If I find good sales, I tend to stock up so I can use the items throughout the year. I know that some families would not be willing to give up their material possessions to stay at home, but for us - this is the right decision.

My husband is a graphic designer, and he does freelance work to supplement our income. I have stayed at home for 21 months now, and I wouldn't trade that time for the world. I know I will have plenty of years working ahead of me, and for now - I am busy enjoying my son. Best of luck to you!

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W.M.

answers from Nashville on

I have stayed at home for 7 yrs so far. When I first left my job, my income was 1/2 of our total. I thought it would be hard but honestly it worked. We did not have extra money like you mention but as long as the bills got paid we were ok. As my husband got a better job we obviously spent more. We had a low house payment, $850, and didn't have extra monthly expenses other than what we needed. We did have one car payment. We spent $75 a week on groceries and bought no name brand items for toilet ppr, ppr towels, baggies, etc No Ziploc, Brawnie, etc Now he makes more, we have moved to a larger home and are as tight as we were back then but do use the name brand items....things are really tight but we make sure bills are paid and do fun things off of bonuses. My suggestion to you would be to write down all of your income in one column and all of your outgo in another. Do your budget with only your husband's income since that is what you are wanting to live on. Do the budget without after school care and day care, gas money for you driving to work, lunch money for you being at work, etc Any expenses that are incurred b/c of you working can be eliminated if you are staying at home. Things like Dr bills go down to when your child is not in daycare getting other kid's illnesses. Once you write down your income and outgo, see if it is even or off. You must make an allottment for things that you don't normally have every month too, the unexpected things which seem to come up often. I shop at consignment sales and also shop in advance when things are on sale for my kids. I barely shop for myself and also get hand me downs. The most important thing is if it works on paper, you can make it work in real life. If your income is $3k per month and expensese are $2300 not including daycare, etc then you have an extra $700 for incidentals. Make sure to put groceries, walmart runs, etc on your outgo list. Everything must be included, insurance payments, etc Then if it works on paper, you must stick with it....can you refinance your home to a lower payment/rate? Do you have money in savings? Would your work allow for any contracting work at home? Can your career/skills get you any contract work through other hospitals or doc offices? You could consider working at your son's daycare and get a discount while getting paid to work. You could be home when your daughter is home and at work when she is at school. You could always work on Saturday's then too while your husband spends time with the children. My husband travels now and the kids do get used to it but they do have me as soon as they get home so that may help. You did not say your income so it makes it a bit harder to help you calculate, you can email me separate if you want more help. Just keep in mind what you bring home each week and how much you spend to be there, ie daycare, gas, lunch, etc and then see if you can make that much working p/t on during the hours your children are at school. I just got a job at my daughter's preschool, it is only Tue/Thur from 8-2pm so I am there with her during the day, I get off in time to go pick up my son at school, I get a discount on her preschool and I get paid enough to buy groceries and maybe a 'bit' more each month. It all helps. You could also watch another child in your home. I did that for a year, I only did it 2 days a week and made $35 per day. It was nice b/c I was at home and my kids were here with me and I got paid. You could watch a friend of your daughter's after school so she could play with him/her and then make extra money. You could sell Pampered Chef, Thirty One gifts, Silpada jewelry, etc if you have the personality for that. Even doing 2 or 3 small things could bring in enough money to compensate for the loss of one full time job. Check out Daveramsey.com or listen to 99.7 from 1-4pm each day since you are in Nashville, so interesting to hear how others do it! Email me if you need more help, I bet it can be worked out.! ;o) Good luck!

L.M.

answers from Dover on

I work fulltime but have recently started building my own business so I can hopefully be at home fulltime (or at least part time) for that very reason.

C.M.

answers from Johnson City on

I know what you mean. I am a single mom so I have no choice but to work. I do feel very guilty about them being in childcare/school but the good thing about it is, they don't know any better so they are happy. They both really enjoy getting to play with other kids so that makes it easier. I do wish I could spend more time with them but that is just our life for now.

Do you pay for childcare now? If you could tighten your budget is staying at home an option for you? Or maybe you could work part-time instead? If not, try not to stress too much. Your kids will aprreciate what you are doing for them (if not now, in the future they will) You are doing what you have to in order to take care of your family. Just make the most of the time you have with them and let the housework slide sometimes. Spending time with them is more important than a dust free living room! lol

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G.S.

answers from Charlotte on

Our household income is under $50k
We have one car payment. And a mortgage payment of 1k/month. We have a monthly budget (which includes activities and gasoline - i don't drive anywhere if i am about to exceed my gas budget). I clip coupons. We shop at walmart supercenter, farmers markets, and buy in bulk at our local cosco/sams/bjs and I limit my grocery shopping to 2-3 times per month to cut out temptation and gas cost.
We don't have cable. we don't have a landline - just cell phones. (my stay-at-home friend has a landline and prepay cell phones - which is even less expensive). We have a veggie garden in the spring/summer (haven't expanded to fall veggies yet). I use cloth diapers - which are AWESOME!!! - but had to invest my money upfront.
It is tough - but totally worth it to me. When we add up the cost of daycare versus the amount of money I could make, it doesn't make sense for me to work. So this is better for us financially. Although I understand that it isn't better for other people financially.

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V.C.

answers from Wheeling on

Didn't read your other responses, but the one BIG thing you can do (if you're not already doing it) is to pay tithe. It's a biblical principle where you give 10% of your income -- right off the top, first thing -- to some non-profit entity (preferrably a Christian ministry of some sore -- local church, mission, food for the hungry, digging wells in remote areas, etc). My parents and my husband's parents always did it, and so have we. It sounds crazy to GIVE AWAY money so that what's left covers more, but this position of the heart honors God and He blesses the effort. GUARANTEED (by His word, not mine)!

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T.S.

answers from Fort Collins on

I have been a stay at home mom for 10 years now and I'm able to do so because I found an amazing company to work for from home. I work part time from home, mostly over the phone, teaching other Mom's how to do what I do so they can have family and financial freedom too. Take a look at www.relivingpartners.com and e-mail me at ____@____.com for more information. You will absolutely be blessed!

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R.K.

answers from Raleigh on

Hi T.,

I was in a similar situation I worked in mortgage prior to the crash. I moved and right after I got here the industry got really hard. Being the last one hired I was always the first to get laid off no matter how much more skill I had then others. I was laid off about 5 times in one year. I ended up having to do unemployment alot plus food stamps. it was a rough time. Then I decided I was going back to school. I enrolled and soon after my husband lost his job. Of course he eventually found a new job and after less then 6 months his hours were cut to 4 days a week....17 weeks of that and now he just recently went back to 5 days.

When things were at their worst in Nov 2009. I found a legit company that I work for from home. Its like having my own business since I am able to set my own hours ect. BUT I still have alot of support when I need it. It was easy to start making money about $700 my first month without a big investment. Its not get rich quick or anything but is a lasting income.

We also overhauled our budget and have been sticking to a slim down version where we budget for every little thing. I've become really good at using coupons and we have cut back our eating out just to be able to save more money. For the first time since we were married we have a savings account and no debt (except mortgage and car)

I never ever thought I'd be a stay at home mom. I was always so career minded. But I have loved this last year with my kids. I have so much more patience and energy for them. AND I am back in school pursing my all time dream of finishing my degree and hopefully going to medical school.

Good Luck I hope all goes well for you,

R.

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A.B.

answers from Nashville on

I am a consultant for Heritage Makers, (my website is: www. yourstoryforever.com) I love Heritage Makers, and you get to set your income! I am a mom of 3 and know how quickly they grow, and I too have always thought it was important to be home with them. Also I love www.southernsavers.com and www.faithfulprovisions.com for finding good deals and coupon match ups! Good luck! What part of TN are you in? I'm in Franklin, TN if you'd like to talk live. We moved from out of state as well, so I know what your going through!

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K.R.

answers from Charlotte on

My husband works 3 jobs and my children were not seeing much of him either. I choosed to homeschool mine since family is so important to me. That way my children won't miss me and daddy at the same time. When daddy comes in they get to see him on his off schedule days and won't be stuck in school. We live in a 1500 sq foot home all used furniture and clothes. But we are a happy family. Thank God for my church family as well. What a support they are too. I count my blessings and think about the families that have husbands are wives in the military and some don't see each other for months. Now that's really, really hard. My heart goes out to those families.

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C.F.

answers from Lexington on

I run a daycare out of my house so I can stay home. Here's just a thought for you. Daycare is expensive. Have you and your hubby sat down and figured out how much you pay out in daycare expenses? It may be costing you more than if you stayed home and homeschooled your kiddos.
C.

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Rethink your priorites. When I quit teaching my hubby was a Sgt in the Marines. We made nothing. But I learned to rethink what was important.
When I quit we stopped some things like eating out.
I started to shop at resale stores and Target, Walmart.
We ate a lot of tuna casserole, chicken caserole, and meatloaf. I made all our own baby food, I even had to borrow small jars from friends.
I used cloth diapers.
My youngest three children never had a bottle.
I would buy books at garage sales to keep the kids happy.
We read every night.
Christmas became a you ask Santa for three or four things but he chooses only one.
It can be done. My hubby rode to work on his bike for a while.
I did go to work at the mall after a few years to help us catch up on some bills and I only worked when hubby was home.
We used the library and bookstores. I didn't buy books we just read them. To this day my kids love Barnes and Noble days. My hubby and I have taken Home Depot dates. We wouldn't afford to go to a movie so we would go to HD or Lowe's or Best Buy and hang out. We were pathetic but we did OK .
Put all your spare change in a large piggy bank. After three years take it ot your bank and cash it in. We usually end up with abotu $150. That's a few dinners out.

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J.P.

answers from Boise on

Do you need to do some debt reduction to allow you to stay at home or are you debt free, but need the dual incomes for monthly living expenses? If you need to get rid of debt, check out Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover. I am working full time to pay off debt. I'm not sure what I will do when we are debt free, but I look forward to having the choice.

K.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I currently work from home part time but its more of an online business then a job. But its Legit, No selling, No pressure. Here is the website www.AchievingBigDreams.com. If you have any other questions feel free to ask.

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C.P.

answers from Nashville on

Hello T.,

Your plea definitely hit a chord. I have stayed at home for the past 5 years and we ultimately made sacrifices. I wouldn't trade it for all the world, but I had to be willing to let go of my need for financial stability. We worked to get our budget/living expenses down to about 25K a year. I have two children and I tried part time work for a little bit, but it never paided for the daycare. To truely make working out of the home offset the extra costs, I estimated that I need to make at least 30K. My husband has been making just at or around 25K. The last few years have been very lean.

I don't know how single households do it, but I understand there is some financial assistance in daycare costs if you're working. I don't know what the income threshold is.

We live in the Nashville area as well and it is possible. We have a low house payment but still live in a nice area with 3bedroom/2bath home. We are not currently concerned about saving for retirement, college or extras. We pay our own health insurance although Tenncare is available for the children.

Work at home has been challenging. There are ways, but it does take a lot of work to find things that are legitimate, worth your time and not more of a hassle to try to do while taking care of the children. You are the daycare/their source of stimulation during the day and will find that they are demanding and a full time job. Their high energy is exhausting. Working times are really centered around early mornings or late nights.

There are freelance work/companies that allow for AA to work from home and with your background you may be able to find a legitimate, some what decent paying one online. Definitely check any claims to BBB and do your research before committing. Local offices might be willing to allow you to work from home too depending on how they're approached and what their needs are. The medical industry is going to soon be swamped with all kinds of new administrative tasks.

Good Luck and if you have more questions, then shoot.

Sincerely,

C.

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L.W.

answers from Charlotte on

Wow. It really sounds like you are a great mom. Your concern for the children really shows in your post. It also sounds like you are doing everything you can to cut costs. I have only one suggestion to add. Have you looked at the cost of your housing? You didn't say if you were renting or buying when you relocated. Perhaps you could at making a change there?

To address the stay at home part. Yes, you must be very careful when looking at these typs of ads. Most are scams.

One thing that crossed my mind while reading your post is your true concern for your children. Perhaps you could run your own child care service? Near Charlotte, teenage baby sitters cost $10/hr and up. You could be at home and if you took on only a few children, not only would your chilren have playmates, you would be making some extra cash. That combined with the money you will save from not working outside the house will addd up quickly.

On that note, if you do keep working outside the house, perhaps you could look at sharing the cost of a private caregiver with a couple of other moms from the daycare & afterschool program. Once you start talking with the other parents, you will find a lot of them are looking for another soultion as well. Good luck to you!!!

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T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Dear T.,
Many women stay home for the very reasons you mentioned. The reward is life-long and immense! I am excited for you and your family that you are considering this. There are some websites with great ideas for saving money (groceryshrink.com and moneysavingmom.com are two). But, I would also count the cost of the "things" you have and do to see if they are more valuable to you then coming home. We don't have cable (we prefer no TV to wasting our time watching the garbage on it); we don't do a lot of activities that cost money (like organized sports), but we do spend a lot of time enjoying the same things as a family or with other families for basically free; we do everything together by and large; we don't buy video games/wii/etc. (waste of time and isn't helping us achieve the vision we have for our children's futures--no 35 year old men wasting their days and ignoring their families because they are addicted to the latest video game, thankyouverymuch); buy whole foods rather than boxed foods and prepare foods from scratch (healthier and better tasting, and cheaper!); seldom eat out, but honey and I try to date each other a couple times a month (I have some "fast food" meals that I make for the family when the schedule is tight); I make my own household cleaners (and baby wipes when we have a baby in the house); I shop at thrift stores for some of our clothing (but I am VERY picky about what I buy there-I don't buy anything there from Walmart or any other cheap brand. I only buy expensive label clothing because it will be in better condition and last longer); also, we homeschool, which is wonderful for our family on so many levels. I cannot imagine us living any other way, honestly. I wouldn't give up these years with my children for anything the world has to offer. Everything else is wood, hay, and stubble, and will be burned up and forgotten. Our children are eternal, and they grow up way too fast. Best wishes to you as you work through the details! You do have a lot on your plate with a husband who is gone so much! This will certainly simplify your life more!

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L.M.

answers from Raleigh on

T.,
If you're interested in finding a work-at-home job, you should check out my sites: http://workathomemomrevolution.blogspot.com, http://mommyworksonline.blogspot.com, and http://workathomehopes.com. I post telecommute job opps on those sites daily. I do my best to screen them to be sure they are legitimate.

I've been fortunate enough to work from home for the past 15 years or so. I just got my last child off to college, and I'm so grateful I was able to work at home all those years and spend more time with them. Good luck to you!

J.B.

answers from Houston on

Just wanted to say kuddos on the Dave Ramsey stuff. It sounds like in the near future, things will ease up and you can revisit the idea of staying home. I really hope it works out for you, I love it even though sometimes I feel like a crazy person and it hasn't helped at all with keeping my house clean!!!:D My mama was single working mama and sometimes had a crazy schedule including graveyard shifts in plants. My sister was handicapped so life was wild at times. But be encouraged, no matter how overloaded she got, I knew she loved me and wanted to be with me and when we were together it was always great. She also had to put me in a pretty cheap daycare which I did hate but hey I was not scarred for life or anything, but you know I turned out fine and have a great relationship with my mom. Hang in there and be proud of what a great job you are doing!!:)

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S.M.

answers from Greensboro on

T.,
I commend you on all the great things you're doing already for your family (one car, clipping coupons, no cable, etc). I also commend you for your commitment to become a stay-at-home mom. It's not for everyone but you've noticed it is what your family needs and want to make it happen. I stayed at home w/our kids for 12 years. For two of those years, my husband only made $25K per year; for another two years he made $35K per year and then it went up in small increments but he maxed out at about $49K. During that time, we owned a home, 2 cars, and massive student loan debt. The home was small but fit our needs, the cars were very old but ran (most of the time). We did not have a cell phone. I cooked every meal we ate from scratch, which saved a ton of $. I clipped coupons; shopped yard sales for all our clothes; our entertainment was hanging out with friends and playing cards at our house or theirs (or, like you, going to local parks). The only times we ate out was if my parents invited us and paid for it. All the books we read and movies we watched were from the library or borrowed. You will save a lot of $$ by not having your kids in daycare and after school care. Before I became a stay-at-home mom, I read a fantastic book that changed our lives and made it all possible: Women Leaving the Workplace by Larry Burkett. I highly recommend it! Most of all, I give credit to God. My husband and I knew it was the best thing for our family to have me stay at home. We prayed and trusted God even when on paper, it looked like we'd be broke in 2 months after I left my job. The only explanation for how we made it 12 years is - it was a miracle!

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S.P.

answers from Raleigh on

I am a stay at home mom. I understand what your saying about all the scams that come with working from home, it's frustrating. What I have done to bring in some extra income is babysitting. I know it would be different for you since you have two children, but it has worked great for me. I have found several families that are comfortable with me bringing my son with me. He has someone to interact with and I am bringing in some income, and don't have to pay for daycare for my son. I registered on sittercity.com. It's free and you can post your information so families can view and you can search for families looking for help. Good luck, hope this helps!

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

My H makes decent money, BUT, if I were to go back to work full time, I'd be working to pay for daycare. Which isn't worth it for me. I'd be making apx $1 an hour after paying taxes and daycare fees, and my time is worth soooooo much more than that.

I mean... if I were working toward something... maybe. But an extra 30 or 200 a month and that's it, just doesn't cut it.

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A.E.

answers from Nashville on

Check out Kim Kommando's website (www.kimkommando.com). She has a techie radio show that's syndiated. Anyway, she has work from home stuff on her website that she and her staff have already checked out as being legit. Not sure what you would want to do, but the one I was going to use is elance (www.elance.com). I'm just waiting for my youngest to start sleeping through the night before I start doing a bit of freelance work for some extra money. Kim Kommando has some others listed in case that site's not the one for you. Hope it helps you find somthing to do from home.

Good luck!
A.

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C.L.

answers from Chicago on

Try to find the book "The two-income trap" from your library. It has lots of useful information!

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T.A.

answers from Nashville on

Sounds like you are spending a lot on child care. Is your salary actually getting you ahead after you pay for child care and other expenses of working like gas money, lunch, work clothes etc. I was a SAHM until the kids were in school full time. Just could figure out how to justify the cost of putting the kids in care when my salary would just cover those expenses.

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A.B.

answers from Knoxville on

I feel your situation and have been there. I think the best answer is to find another mom/family who's in a similar situation, and there are a TON of people out there. When you are able to create a community with people who are in similar situations, you can all rely on each other for advice, support, and help. Since others are in the same/similar situation, you understand what each other needs. Then, you can meal share, ride share, babyset for each other, etc.

In addition, you can try babysetting for money (in addition to your work schedule or as your full-time job). There are a lot of parents/families who work odd hours and may need babysetting at night. You could try seasonal work (part-time around the holidays...florists around Valentine's Day, Department Stores around Thanksgiving & Christmas, etc.).

A big thing this time of year is babysetting for football games. Put an ad in the paper or at ticket counters.

Good Luck!

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M.L.

answers from Tampa on

It's tough, definitely. We live very frugally. My husband has a van and cell phone through his job he uses, so we only have 1 car and I don't have a cell phone. We use coupons a lot and the Campbell's Soup Cookbook a lot because it's cheap to cook out of! I do garage sales a few times a year. I do Christmas and birthday shopping throughout the year when I find good Clearance toys at Wal-Mart and Target. Now that my oldest is 4, when we go out to dinner, we find a night where it's "kids eat free". Also, because our tax brackett is lower due to my income being out of the picture, we get enough of a refund back to take a nice vacation each year! Although, we even do cheap on vacation. Went to Disneyworld (I live in Florida) so we took advantage of the FL discount and we were able to buy a ticket for 4 days to any theme park, for the price of one ticket. I found us a 5 star resort on Priceline for $75/night. At the hotel, we went to the grocery store and bought our food, so we wouldn't have to eat out so much and packed food for the theme parks. Our local college does movies once a month for kids that are free and they provide popcorn and water! A local park does "movies in the park" once a month. The zoo does annual passes, usually the price for 1 ticket, so I did that last year. And yes, like you, I hardly ever buy clothes for myself, it's always for the kids. That part I miss! And I can never afford to get my hair done or a pedicure, miss that too. It is so hard; I always feel like everyone else makes so much more money and blah, blah, blah. Stupid, little jealous feelings that creep in. But I wouldn't trade being home for all the money in the world!

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N.E.

answers from Raleigh on

Hi T.,
Have you thought about offering to sit for other full-time worker's children while at home with your own children? That could be one option that comes to mind quickly.
Another is that there are many home-based businesses out there that are not scams. Sometimes being open and having the right person explain it, and very importantly, checking out the credentials of the company, are crucial. I work from home because I have a daughter with ADHD and I want to be available to her as much as possible. I put her to work helping me put labels on catalogs, etc. It empowers here and she loves it. I've even taken her to networking meetings with me (with DS in tow!).
I think 'putting your intention out' to friends and family is important. In fact, yesterday I mentioned to a friend that I'd like to make more money as I'm still growing my business, and she told me about another incredible opportunity that has some serious potential for making money. Had I not said anything, I would never have known about the opportunity.
So be positive and keep looking and asking. You'll find the opportunity when the time is right!

Good luck. N.

P.W.

answers from Dallas on

Now I work from home, but when I had young kids like you I had a similar dilemma. I obviously don't know what your financial situation is, but this is what worked for us.

1-We moved. I mean really moved......out of state, closer to family, and in an area where housing was much less than where we were living... and I quit my job. With family in town I could take on an occasional temp job to help out........free babysitting with my mom.
2-We bought a smaller house and lowered our house payments.
3-We cut corners everywhere we possibly could. We spent lots of time at the park and with friends for entertainment. Rarely did we go out and spend. I even made rustic curtains for my kitchen that lasted quite awhile!

Now for us, although it took awhile, things got better and my husband made more money. Then things got tough again and I started working from home, but by then my youngest child was in high school, so I was able to do all that you mention in your post throughout their younger years.

There are lots of legite at home jobs you could consider. Even babysitting! Just to add a little extra, even occasionally......for holidays, etc....

I love to know what you do for a living now, and how it could help you working from home?

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L.C.

answers from Dallas on

Hi T.,
I made a suggestion to my sister who is single and has no kids, but is strapped on cash. She does hair very well, and so she charges her friends $20-45 depending on what she does to their hair. She took a few cosmetology classes, but never finished school. Is there something you could do on the side and offer to do it from your home? Dog walking, hair, babysitting (sittercity.com), just think of your skills and use that to generate income, if you do make sure you always ask your friends/family for referrals, and then ask those people for referrals and so on...good luck!

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