Transition to Big Girl Bed - Springfield,VA

You need to go back to letting here crying it out. Also, we lay with our 33 month old for no more than 10 minutes and that's it. 9.5 times out of 10 she knows that's it and goes to bed on her own. If you don't want to get into bed with her, lay on the floor next to her bed. She needs the comforting, soon enough you would be in there when the monsters come. If she gets used to you there for a short amount if time it will be easier. Good luck. Mom of a 33 month old girl and a 6 month old boy

A good practice (as suggested by Dr. Ferber) is to do your nighttime routine, then leave and leave the door cracked. If your daughter gets up, put her back in bed and tell her you're going to close the door now. Keep it closed for one minute. When the minute is up, open the door. If she screams, tell her (through the closed door) that you will open the door as soon as she stops screaming. When she calms down, open the door and tell her good night and leave. If she comes out again, repeat the procedure but go up to 2 minutes. The first night, don't go any longer than 2 minutes. Subsequent nights you can increase the time. Make sure she understands that all she needs to do to keep the door cracked is to stay in bed.

This will be tough for about a week while she's getting used to it, but then it will be fine.

Don't just close the door and leave it closed because that will scare her.

You can read more about this in Dr. Ferber's book "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems"

i would stop lying down with her altogether. you can sit with her and rub her back or stroke her arm, but do not get in the bed with her. after story or snuggle, whatever your 'ending routine' is, don't talk. you don't want it to feel like punishment, she's not doing anything wrong, she's simply used to the travel routine. so keep it quiet, calm and consistent. sit with her for ten minutes or so, then quietly leave. if she melts down, put her back to bed and sit with her for a while longer, then quietly leave. repeat until you're ready to scream. (but don't.) sometimes these transitions take a while, and it is infinitely postponed each time you get in bed with her. if the snuggling is something you love and don't want to do without, consider a family bed. but if you want her to sleep independently then you must have her do exactly that. don't abandon her and i don't think CIO is appropriate here. but keep your presence silent (non-exciting, no interaction or stimulation) and brief.
khairete
S.

Hi J.,
I am having the same problem for the same reason. The thing is, it can happen at ANY AGE it seems. We went on vacation in August and (sorry to say)I am still laying down with my 4 YEAR OLD until she goes to sleep. I think I'm doing it because it's not that long, about 5 minutes tops. She also shares a room with her baby sister, and if I don't lay down with her, she'll whisper (really loudly for a whisper might I add) "Mommy! Mommy!" until I go in. I'm pretty sure if I don't lay down with her, she'd cry. She's such a good girl though, she won't get out of bed. I am now trying rewards for being a big girl and sleeping on her own. It's hit and miss though. Does your daughter respond to that? I want her to be proud of sleeping on her own, not feel abandoned. I'll tell you if I succeed. ITMT, I'm there with you sister! Good luck! (And remember this the next time you go on vacation! HA!)

we, too, suffer from bedtime post holiday transitions. they have become a little easier with age. since you laid down with her during vacation i would suggest weaning her from that. perhaps you sit next to her and touch her back until she's almost asleep for now. a couple of days later you might sit in her room but not touch her until she's sleepy. until you get to the point where you can cuddle/rub back/whatever your comforting thing is for under a minute and then tell her that you will check on her in one minute. then do it. then check on her in 3 minutes (or so) and then do. this will build trust. often mine is asleep before the second check up. good luck!

We are going through the exact same thing! We just converted her crib 2 weeks ago. She's just over 3yrs. I held off as long as possible, cuz I knew how it was going to be. Each night if Dad puts her to bed, she'll lay in the bed awake forever until she sees me creep by her door. 'Mommy, come lay with me, please? (blinking eyes).' How do you say no to that???

We have a gate at her door. We had it in the middle of the hall, but that was causing issues with the dog!! What has worked for us the last two nights, its letting her 'camp out' on a blanket on her floor. Not kidding! We do the same night routine, then she lays down on the blanket, covers up, and goes to sleep.

For Christmas she got a princess play tent for her room, and last night slept in there! I wanted to take a pic, but the flash would have woken her up...
M.