What Do You like About Being a Mom?

I am an educated, career minded woman who became a mom at 32.

Being a mom is the most exhausting, frightening, thankless, and overwhelming job I've ever had.

That said, it is also the most fulfilling, satisfying, amazing, gratifying, life-changing, thought-altering, love-deepening experience I can imagine.

There is a quote from Elizabeth Stone that I love to read and re-read because nothing could be more true:

"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."

No one can prepare you for the depth of love you will feel for your child. All the things that are so important to you now will seem less so after your baby comes into your world. That's not to say that you will or should want to give up your career, or your hobbies, it's just that everything you do, you will do with a greater purpose. Every experience will have a greater depth of joy to it. Every fear will be intensified. Everything you do will be forever impacted by the love you feel for your child.

So in answer to your question, no, you don't have to give up life as you know it, but YES, life as you know it will be forever changed. You will love more deeply than you ever thought possible. That is what I love most about being a mom.

Just wait until you get your first unsolicited kiss. Or your child tells you, "you look pretty, mommy!" Those moments will outrank any promotion, any great read, any accomplishment. Wait and see...

Oh, and what a wonderful question that gives us mom's a chance to reaffirm why we do what we do.

Best wishes.

It is all worth it! It will be VERY, VERY hard and thankless work, and there is no way to possibly understand or prepare for what is coming, but it will, without a doubt, be worth it.

I didn't fall in love with my son immediately, though. Don't get me wrong; I loved him from the start and would have done anything for him, but it wasn't that ooey-gooey need-to-be-near-him-every-minute thing that some of my friends had from the moment of birth. (Someone had warned me that it might take some time to develop that, though, so I didn't worry.) Actually, I remember holding my crying child (I was crying with him), and sitting on the stairs telling my husband that I thought we might need to find a "good mother" for my son, since I didn't think I was going to be able to do it. For me, the first two months was about survival. I was a wreck. No, I didn't have post-partum depression; I was just WAY out of my element. I like organization and sleep and quiet, and I had none of that anymore. I am driven and talented and capable at most things, and I felt like I was none of those things at first. It is a challenge like none you have ever experienced. It all changed the first time my son smiled at me, really smiled at me when I entered the room, because he knew he was mine and I was his.... Words cannot express the joy I felt; it was like falling in love when everything is new and perfect, and you feel beautiful and so does the world. Melodramatic? Maybe, but not really. And, now, my son is almost three, and I cannot imagine how I enjoyed life before he was in it. He is SO smart, his memory is amazing and I cannot believe how much his little mind can retain. He brushes my hair and tells me I'm beautiful when I am wearing sweats, sans make-up, just home from the gym looking like three shades of awful. Imagine being told every night, by someone that you love more than anything, that you are loved "wider than the sky and deeper than the ocean, no matter what". That is how I end my day with him every day. He thinks I am the best singer ever. I could go on and on, but you won't get it until you experience it. I constantly need a break, but when we are apart I can't wait to see him again.

I am not the homemaker type; I plan on returning to work within the year. Once he starts elementary school, I plan to start medical school; that has always been the plan. I have goals and things that are just mine, and that is perfectly fine. My wonderfully supportive husband has helped me a lot with that; he helps keep me focused and motivated when I lag. I am not the best housekeeper, and I don't know how my Mom did it all those years. But, if you come over to my house and see my happy family and a pile of laundry needing to be folded and put away, etc., who cares? My family, including myself, is happy and healthy; my house is always sanitary even if a little untidy. Who cares? Some of my friends love being a stay-at-home Mom and that is all they ever wanted; they know that I am good at other things, and we love each other, without judgement, despite our differences. My friends used to laugh, because the sound of a kid crying would literally send me running in the opposite direction. It made me so anxious. It is different when the child is yours. Biology helps take care of that in many ways.

NEVER give up yourself. Your life and priorities will undoubtedly change, but you can still accomplish the things you want to accomplish. You might have to make some choices regarding how you spend your time and it might take longer to accomplish some goals, but you are every bit as capable of accomplishing them once you have child as you were before. Remember to make time for just you and time for you and your husband.

Good luck, and congratulations!

I love this question. When I was pregnant I had very little connection to the pregnancy-did all the right things, but just didn't feel what I thought I should be feeling ie love. Everyone is so different but what happened for me was a flood of love, indescribable sense of wanting to care, nurture, do whatever I could to make this being's life wonderful. Three years later, its the same for me, different but essentially the flood of daily love is there.

About me: love my career, my free time, books: ) and who I am a part from role as mom.

Have you heard what you focus on expands? Well, there are the diapers and feedings, but that's an opportunity to connect and you'll want to more than any drive in the world. (Thank you Oxytocin and evolution.) Just the fact that you have a great mom can give your a bit of peace of mind that you are already "hardwired" to know how to love.

Around 13-15 months I started feeling I wanted more than SAHM and returned to work part time. You don't have to give up yourself and anyone who does is short changing not only themselves but their children. They need to see you taking care of you so that they know it is important as an adult to do that.

My advice is get off this site until you actually have a concern or would like to learn more while you have the baby. I think THEE biggest mistake mothers make is that they look to others for answers that they already know the answer to. Please, please give yourself a lot of credit for knowing more than you think you do. Maybe read all of these again when you have the baby. Community is great, but it may become a distraction from your own wisdom:)

Jen

I can only imagine what it's like to be pregnant with your first baby and coming onto this site and reading this stuff!!! LOL Makes me glad that I didn't know about this site back when I was pregnant with my first because I would probably have really freaked myself out as well!!! =0) I'm 30 and will be celebrating my 10yr wedding anniversary next month to my wonderful husband. We have a 6yr old daughter and a son who will be 4 in June. We are full time working parents.... at the same company actually. He is in Marketing (an instructional design analyst) and I am a Compliance Analyst in Legal/Compliance. I can tell you that I honest to God love my life. I love my job and I love my kids. Being a mother is the most wonderful thing in the world. The joy my kids bring me is in-describable. I love watching my husband be a father. I love listening to them being all goofy and silly in the other room. I love watching my children learn about the world and I love watching them becoming these self sufficient, caring, respectful, smart people. It is the ultimate reward. With all that said.......when our first was born, it was shocking! Life turns upside down for a few months and you will have moments of "holy cow......what in the world have we done?!?!" LOL But, that is so totally normal. When that baby comes, you are going to be shocked and amazed at how your heart is going to change. In a split second........it changes. Things don't matter the same. Priorities naturally shift. You WILL adjust. You won't lose yourself. The things that are number one to you at this moment will take a good backseat for a while. But, as you adjust to motherhood and as you learn your life as a family of 3 instead of just you and your hubby.......you will get all those things back into your life. However, they will never be as important to you as they were before. =0) But, you won't care like you think you will now. Being a mom is stressful......it's a very hard job that is 24/7 and 365 days a year. BUT.........it's also the best thing ever. You just wait until you get your first smile and get your first un-prompted "I love you mom". THAT'S what's so great about being a mom. My advice is to read all your responses and then log off this site until your precious baby comes!! LOL This site will be MUCH less intimidating when you're living it. I promise! It will turn from "OMG....." to "Oh thank goodness!!!" It's a great resource for us mommies. It really is. =0) I wish you luck with the rest of your pregnancy and try to relax. Everything will work out. You'll be a great mommy!

I think one thing to remember is that this website is MAMApedia - so (as far as from my point of view), I mostly ask PARENT centered questions - when I want input about things that are h*** o* me, my husband and I, troubles we're going through with our kids, etc.

That being said, there does seem to be a lot of focus on the 'bad' things associated with being a parent - even when I talk with some of my SIL, they are like 'Why would I want children if you get less sleep?' and my husband summed it up perfectly 'When they smile at your or hug you on their own or give you a kiss, all those sleepless nights go out the window.' There is truly no greater feeling or job than being a parent.

First, seeing a child come into the world that is part you, part the person you love (or in some cases, the person you used to love...). But the fact that you created that person is a miracle in itself. The fact that this small child depends on you for everything in his/her life can be overwhelming, but it also comes with a lot of pride. YOU are responsible for keeping that baby safe and secure. It's not your responsibility to MAKE him/her sleep through the night, latch well if breastfeeding, eat all her fruits/veggies, etc but as you can tell from a lot of posts, many mothers WANT to do those things flawlessly.

When your child first starts to recognize you and smile at your voice/face, it's heartwarming and gives you tears in your eyes!! My son is getting close to crawling...and it makes me so happy to see him trying to hard to get close to me!

It's a never ending reward being a parent. But also, it's a never ending feeling of worry and guilt. You worry that you aren't doing enough, you feel guilty for wanting time away, etc. That is something that comes with the territory and I do not think will ever change.

You don't have to kiss your life and books goodbye....just be prepared to shelve them for awhile. You will be too tired for a while to spend extra time laying around reading, watching TV, etc. When you have one child, there is a lot more time (than when you have 2+) to read and do other things.

I have talked with many women who are much like you and even though they are very career minded, their jobs and careers became 2nd in order of importance when their kids came along. Not because it HAD to but because they WANTED them to. You start to realize that you don't live to work - you work to live on.

I've become accustomed to sleeping less...but I am okay with that. I've gotten back into the routine of coloring and love it! I am often covered in spitup stains (with a drooling baby this is bound to happen) along with breastmilk (again if you are bf'ing, going to happen). But at the same time, I'm at the point where my children can entertain themselves for a little bit so I'm spending more time in the morning getting ready for work (versus just going to work with no hair/makeup).

It all really depends on your priorities and financial situation. If you want (and can afford) to have a nanny in your home, you will save the time of taking/picking up your child. You could also have someone watch them 1x a week so you can go out (or a family/friend can do this).

I do not think anyone is saying that you HAVE to give up your former life, but it IS true that your life will no longer be the same. But that is a CHOICE that many of us have made.

Parenting is one of the hardest jobs you'll ever have. I tell everyone that being a stay at home mom is 100 times harder than going to work!! Yes, there are things you'll have to give up (sleep, free time to do YOUR activities, your sanity....), but the rewards are so great. You have a little person who adores you and thinks you are the most important person in the world. And you WILL be to your child!
In terms of working.... I continue to work full time as a partner in a law firm. I took 4 months off maternity leave with my daughter and then 3 months with my twin boys. When I came back to work, I altered my time schedule a bit. I come in very early (at 7 am) but then I leave at 5, so I get home at 6:15. I get to spend about 2 hours with the kids every night and truthfully, it's enough!!! By the time they go to sleep, I'm EXHAUSTED!! I definitely feel guilty, though, if I don't spend every minute with them on weekends or holidays, but I've gotten better at trying to do things for myself. The kids are thrilled to watch a little TV or play outside in the nice weather with our sitter watching them while I get a manicure on the weekend. I also play tennis once or twice a week (I scheduled my tennis clinic for Monday nights from 9 to 10 pm). I also am involved in a knitting club that meets twice a month in the evenings. So, you can definitely have "me" time, but you have to work at scheduling things around the kids and work. I do more things in a day than most people do in a week!
I definitely have time to read and knit... especially during my hour-long commute!
Good luck during the rest of the pregnancy and don't worry... the fact that you're thinking of all of this means you'll be a good mom!

You get to be a ballerina, a singer, an artist, a pianist, the best cook, a doctor, a philosopher, a dramatic reader. Being a mom means you get to try out all the things you loved as a kid all over again. You get to choose the books, the outings, the fastest slides, the biggest rain puddles to stomp in, hot cocoa with marshmallows, the glue, the color of the boa, the dress up clothes, the beach. You get to watch her eat her first bday cake and take 1000 pictures of it.

You get to experience unconditional love - her love for you. Maybe you have never known it. I called my mother when my first born was a few weeks old. "Mom, I know you love me. But do you think you love me as much as I love L?" "Yes," she replied. That brought me to revisit my entire life, reinterpreting it in light of a newfound love - my mother's love for me.

Love is not abstract, it is personal. You love your husband, not men in general. It follows that you will love your baby, not babies in general. And you know from loving your husband, that it requires some sacrifices which you willingly make for the sake of your marriage and love for each other. That this baby is intimately part of you and cannot exist apart from you has already changed who you are forever. Now is the time you are entering and reconfiguring your whole world. Up to now it was 'my job', 'my bedtime', 'my weekend'. The joy your mother felt is the joy of jumping in to a lake - not putting in a toe and feeling how cold it is. The moms I know who are the happiest, still read books and keep up their interests, while delving in whole heartedly to the vocation of motherhood. The women who are not happy are the ones who are doubleminded and try to keep all they did and thought of themselves as important before a baby with having a baby - and think of it more as an accessory that they chose. That baby can then become the extra large hand bag that one keeps bumping in to and getting in the way of 'my life'.

So, I'd say, jump in to the love! Your child/ren will grow up and move away - you only have these 20-25 years to dedicate to them. Then you will have another (hopefully) 40 years of reading the stack of books you might not have had time for).

There is a lot of giving and of sacrifice - it is a question of how you choose to view that - is it the child sucking you dry or are you pouring in the love that your mother once poured in to you - that her mother poured in to her? Search for and find the source of that love that never runs out and you will find more love and joy and willingness to sacrifice.

It is a great experience, not because it is easy, but because I am changed and see my failings and limitations, but also am challenged to grow and become a better person - and experience forgiveness and unconditional love.

Being a mom is the hardest thing I've ever done, but it is like nothing you will ever experience. My daughter thinks I am a super hero even though I screw up all the time, you can't beat that. I'm a single mom and I work full time so it can be done. Not saying there won't be some days you'll be wanting to not be a parent...but there are those days when you peek in on your kid sleeping(like I do cuz it's the only time she's quiet..lol) and feel nothing but love, happiness and at peace looking at them. Took me a while to bond with my baby ...who is now 10. I think it's normal to feel what you're feeling, but your whole outlook on life changes once you look at those baby blues looking back at you. It's unlike any love you've ever felt. Don't worry..you'll do great, just make sure you surround yourself with a lot of mom friends, it really does help. Best wishes. :)

Yes it is hard but also truly wonderful!
You do have to give up a lot, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing.
I for sure miss my carefree days of being able to sleep in, or read a book in under 6 months, or just leave the house without having to think of a millions things to bring.
I also miss my alone time with my husband or friends and yes even my job since we decided to have me stay home with our girls who are 23 months and 7 months. I miss my social life and having conversations that don't include anything kid related...
BUT with that said I also wake up each day and wonder what will my little ladies do to make me laugh today? I can't wait to go to their rooms and see their faces smiling back at me with total love and trust. My oldest is now talking and amazes me to the core with the things she comes up with. My youngest smiles all the time and is the best cuddler ever!
I find myself in the middle of the night going into their rooms and watch them sleep... I wonder how I ever existed before them? How would this world be without their little spirits in it? Who will they become? Who will they love? How could I ever live without them? What if I had missed out on knowing these unique souls?!
Don't get me wrong there are hard times and tears, sleepless nights, diapers that are too horrid to mention and days when I even forget to brush my teeth, but all in all would I give up what they have added to my life, to get back the life I had before??? NEVER
I can miss those days and even dream of the day when my husband and I can go on a vacation alone, but that doesn't take away from what they have added to our lives. They have for sure changed our lives, but it is for the better. Life is all about growth and change. To remain the same would be so boring after awhile.
You will find a way to make it work! It takes some time, but there is a bit of me still in this mommy body. Sure I don't get to see her often, but from time to time it is all about me and I cherish those times more than I ever did. But of course I can't wait to get back to my family :)

As a mother of two girls, 6 & 12 there are many things I love about being a mother. I think the most important would be that as a mom we have this certain something that can take away the biggest heartache from either a boy not noticing my oldest or a mean little girl on the bus telling my youngest that she's not her best friend anymore. Somehow, someway i inherited that from my mother as well. It's almost like we can cure any bellyache or just a kiss on a bump seems to help. Giving up all that I had really isn't a way I try to look at things. My mother made many sacrifices for the 4 of us growing up and I'm doing the same. Would it be nice to go shopping and buy some new clothes w/the change of seasons, hell ya but I think the most important thing is that you just take in each and every moment because before too long, they are too old to sit on your lap. My youngest has lost her two front teeth this past month and that to me means kind of an end to some things. After my second, I was advised by my dr not to have any more children because there were complications with Haley's birth. She spent over a week in the NICU as a result of my diabetes. It is an amazing thing to go thru and sometimes motherhood is going to kick your a** but for the most part, i have found it to be the best!

Becoming a parent (especially the last few weeks of anticipation) is really scary. But, instincts are a really powerful thing. Trust yourself, your pediatrician and your circle of friends to help guide you in areas you may not be completely comfortable with.

My sister has no maternal instincts - we were all really worried when she announced she was pregnant. I have my judgments on some of the choices she's made, but she's a much better mother than any of us would have thought.

Just remember that we all have opinions on how you should do things, and you'll hear a lot of them, but at the end of the day it's your child - they will be a reflection of you/your husband and will be your most important accomplishment in life.

You can have it all - you'll just need to recognize which sacrifices you're willing to make. I've always been a working mom. I don't have regrets, but I know people view me differently because of it (and I've heard many of the comments).

Don't let a day go by that you don't tell your children how much you love them. Be a good parent (meaning that you have to establish a foundation of beliefs, discipline, etc). Never let that child feel they are unloved or unwanted.

You'll be amazed how things won't gross you out, how you'll be willing to put up with the Clifford the Big Red Dog marathon, and eat at places that offer toys with meals because you love your child. And, at the end of the day, that's why you do it.

My eyes were really opened the day before my son's second birthday when my suspiciously swollen lymph node on my collarbone was confirmed as cancer. My daughter was only 10 weeks old. It is easy to take each day for granted, but it's hard to view each moment as a gift.

Enjoy the time you have before your life changes. Stay true to yourself and love that child unconditionally - all will be fine?

I didn't feel like a mom until a few months after my daughter was born. A lot was going on besides the pregnancy and I think it wasn't until we were truly settled and she became more aware of the world that it really started to sink in. I love it and wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I gave up my career and stay home. I had an awesome job and an amazing salary to match but I wouldn't got back. For us this is the best situation as I could not possibly fathom anyone else taking care of my child. If she's in daycare then I would only see her a couple of hours at night and then barely on the weekend because of trying to get all the household stuff done. You don't at all have to give-up yourself. But you do need a supportive husband to help out as much as possible. My daughter is now 18mo and I love her to pieces, she lights up a room when she walks in and goes running to daddy when he comes home. In all I love being a mom.

This is a great question. This site is mostly about advice. Most of us don't ask for advice for the possitives in life. Therefore you only get a glimpse at the negative part, however big a part that may be.
I love my children and wont nothing more than to see the joy in their faces. I work fulltime and so does my husband. The time that we have with them is precious. We make it all about them. We do take time for ourselves as well, but when we are with our kids, its about them.
I love the amazing things that my 5 year old daughter comes up with. The way she rationalizes everything in her own way. I love that she always makes sure to get a treat for her little brother when she is at a party. The thoughtfulness that she shared when a friends dad passed away. Her amazing smile and bigger than life "good morning mommy" when she wakes me up everyday.
I love my almost 3 year old little boy's sweet sweet spirit and that he looks and acts just like my dad (who passed away when I was pregnant with my son). I love that he loves me more than anything. I love his sweet kisses and snuggles when he wakes up. I love that he adores his big sister and wants to be with her always. I love dinner time everynight when we laugh and talk and spend time together.
I love that no matter what happens, at the end of the day, I tuck my loves into bed and I feel full and rewarded and truly truly blessed.
It is undeniably worth every dirty diaper, sleepless night (niether of my kids slept through the night until 18 months!), argument, tempertantrum, look mom I got dog turds, felt pen on my new shoes moments!
I am certain that you will feel the same soon enough! Thanks for asking us to share a little of the good!

My favorite Part of being a mom is The look they give you when they are babies. When they look you in the eyes you just know that they love you more than anything and they have this unconditional love and trust. When they get older its when they say "I love you" randomly. My oldest son was playing with his grandmas cell phone and left me a voicemail saying "If this isn't Jaden's mom, tell her that I love her so much, and tell her can I play the Wii? I know I can never play the xbox. Bye." It doesn't seem like much but it was so sweet to hear his voice saying that, I saved the voicemail. It is stressful, and kids do keep you busy. With 1 it was alot easier though, I now have 3. 5 yo, 3 yo, and 3 mo. I am a SAHM, but I know women who continued to work full time after having their kids. It depends on what you want. You can make it work. My friend was a single mom, worked full time and went to college all while takin care of her daughter on her own. It is possible.

Where do I begin? When I was 14 years old I found out that I would never get pregnant. That afternoon, when I told my twin sister the news, she told me "Don't worry sis, I will carry a baby for you". 14 years later she did! My husband and I have a beautiful, smart, sassy, stubborn, adorable, sweet, independent three year old daughter - all because of my sister and her understanding, compassionate, caring husband! Motherhood has been EVERYTHING I expected, and MORE. I work full-time, and each day I cannot wait to get home to my daughter and husband. I also still have some 'me' time, (which you have to have in order to be the best mom and wife you can be). I still enjoy reading (just not as often as before my daughter) and have a nice soak in the bathtub most nights. But the most wonderful thing I can do is spending time with my daughter. She has brought so much joy to our lives, and I cannot imagine my life without her. Yes, your life will change once you have your baby. But it will most certainly change FOR THE BETTER! I wish you many moments of pure happiness with your husband and child. Just remember to take some time out for you, so you can give your BEST to your family! Good luck!

Don't stress! It will all work out, and you'll find your way and become the mom you need to be, and the mom your baby needs. Everyone's different. I decided to give up my career to stay at home, but that's what I really wanted. Yes, being a mom is hard, tiring, all of the above you mentioned. But it's like I tried to explain to a friend of mine who claims she's not sure she wants kids, due to everything she hears from everyone who already has them-- doesn't your husband drive you crazy at times? your mother, brother, sister, best friend, etc? Yes! Would you trade him for the world? No! And it's even more intense with a child, because they are a part of you, and you gave life to them.

Good luck. Please try not to stress, and just enjoy this time. What you're going through is part of the metamorphosis required to become a mom. Congrats!

Good for you being honest with yourself and others. I will return the favor. I am a stay at home mom. It was important to me. If you feel you were meant to do the work you do outside of the home as well, go for it. It will be challenging in it's own way, don't add guilt to it. What do I love about being a mom. It is the most challenging thing that has ever happened to me. I have changed into a new person. One I like even better. I am no longer as selfish as I once was. I now understand unconditional love. I had always wanted to be a care taker of my home and family more then anything else, so imagine my surprise when it was a real challenge for me to adjust to it. Now I know that perfection is not as important as the love given in our home. For every tear tear or tantrum there are 20 hugs, kisses and laughs. We don't tend to share that all on here, we usually look for ideas for working through a problem. One more thing that is wonderful is all the love and support you can vend from other women. The new relationships I have been able to build with women will be important to me fore the rest of my life. Hope that helps. Just trust that your way will be different from all the others and that is just what your child needs. Best wishes and peace to you.

First of all congrats! Second of all, yes it is WAY too late to be worried about should I, can I, etc. You should've thought about those doubts before you got pregnant, however, talk to any woman pregnant for the first time and if they're honest with you - they'll all tell you they have doubts and/or are scared from time to time.

I agree with previous posts, most of what you read here is about troubles or problems, but that's what people need advice about. You don't ask for help when your little angel is eating all his vegetables, sleeping through the night and potty trains himself!

And to answer your question - "what do I like best about being a mom"? Just wait until your baby grasps your finger for the first time; or wait until you see her first smile and hear her first giggle; wait until she reaches her arms up to you and then later wraps them around your neck and gives you the best hug you've ever had! Wait until the first time she says "mommy" or "I love you".

Your life will change, that's for sure - but you don't have to give up your career and your dreams but you may have to make some alterations to make room for baby now. My husband and I both work full time and we like it that way. Our children are in a good daycare that they enjoy and while it gets hectic sometimes with scheduling, it works for us. We both continue to do what we enjoy and despite what some people say daycare isn't horrible if you find the right one - my kids actually look forward to it.

And I'm no Martha Stewart when it comes to domestic responsibilities but who cares. You put a somewhat balanced meal on the table, you keep your house as clean as you can and you enjoy the heck out of your kids when you can because the next few years are going to go by so quickly!

On a final note...those "horrible" kids you were referring to...they weren't born that way - they're parents allowed them to become that way. You raise your children, you teach them right from wrong, you teach them manners etc. They will be the way you raise them to be.

Relax, enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and just be yourself and love your child...everything will be fine! Congrats again!

Dear S., I think its WONDERFUL of you to ask these questions. The more realistic you are about it the better you will be. As a mother and a woman you will struggle with SO MANY battles. Having a child is so much harder than I could ever have imagined. My son is 3 now. BUT I will not focus on the difficulities...In my eyes my son is the cutest, most innocent, most fun loving, most independent, most temperamental little human being in the world. Time moves quicky so its always good to remind myself of WHY I am happy being a mom. His hugs and kisses. His laughter. When he says I love you mommy. Or I missed you today mommy. His dancing. His pure happiness and enjoyment over what I as an adult see as the little things. Being able to just sit and watch him while he plays independently or my playing with him if thats what he wants and ME not worrying about anything else in the world at that moment b/c I am his mother and that is my job, so its ok for me let the rest of the world go during those times. His beautiful little face when he sleeps. My excitement and happiness over HIS achievements and accommplishments. My excitemend over his gifts that he gets. Throwing a great birthday party for him or doing special little things for him and seeing his happiness, knowing that I created it and hoping that he'll grow up remembering his childhood as being special and happy. Comforting and soothing him during times of stress, fear, anxiety or hurt and actually succeeding at it. I could go on forever.

Do I mind the care sometimes? ABSOLUTLEY. Some days the thought of feeding, bathing, teeth brushing and fighting for bedtime makes me want to run away. Sometimes I'm so tired that I just want to QUIT all of life. Sometimes I just want to go home after work and lay on the couch watching my tv shows and not worry about cooking, cleaning, entertaining or watching the Wiggles! But then I think about all of the above. I take a break. I regroup and revitalize.

I work full time. My career isn't so much a career anymore, but for me personally it never was. I'd rather not work but I do. I also think if I didn't work, I'd say that I'd rather not be a SAHM too. I am just restless by nature!

My friends - I still have some of the best friends ever and its been that way since we became friends in high school. I am 35 now. Its a bit more challending to spend time with them, but I do.

My husband. We've been in each others lives since I was 18. I can honestly say that I've loved him and HATED him the most in these past 3 yrs but take away all the stresses and I DO LOVE HIM. ITs a bit harder to find these days when all else is going on, but it work and we find it!

I often ask myself - What am I doing and I long back to the days when he and I traveled, lived around the country and were "free" but then I remind my self of ALL THE ABOVE (in the first paragraph) and I am ok.

You do not have to give up everything, love everything and always be happy and in control - you just have to be able to be everything and know your limits, know when to make changes and know when to take breaks. You just have to know that being a Mom IS the hardest thing ever (right after being a wife) but as a woman you WILL step up and do what needs to be done to make it all work. And you too will find your list of pros and cons that keep you going and keep you changing along the way!

Good Luck. Peace, happiness and health to you and your family!

Hi S.
Life like anything else is what you make it!
The things we worry about rarely happen, or we can't do anything about it anyway.
I love being a mom! I am old and way past the baby stage but S. the task ahead is a beautiful one. Imagine you can give your child the loving support to be able to do all the things that child wants to do. Yes, it is a responsibility, but I looked at it as a challenge that I was going to do my very best at.
Your little one isn't here to hold yet, so it is hard to imagine how that love will envelop you as you see him/her for the first time as you hold him/her. Will your life change? Yes! But like going off to college -- your life changes but you grew. The more you put into your classes the more you got out of them, perhaps your mom like myself told you that. Today I am telling you that the more you invest in your child's future the more you will get out of that also.
I just got back from 3 weeks at our son & his family's home. What a treat that was! To see him as an adult with my 2 grandchildren, they live out of state and I rarely see them, but he calls weekly. My son is a lawyer, and his wife is an actuary. They are career oriented people but they remember that family comes first.
Like your mom, I did not have a career. Does that mean I did nothing? No! My guess is that your mom also had a life. She just involved you. We had foster kids in our home, and that became part of my parenting, but my own children's past. We volunteered and the kids helped, if they couldn't I chose other things. I was involved in church; when I taught SS, they helped me make posters or find things I needed. If the kids couldn't do it, we didn't. We chose family things to do. I even homeschooled the twins so was completely absorbed in their education which allowed me more opportunities to show them the world. Does that mean we never had a sitter? No! We have a farm and when farm meetings happened, the kids loved the sitter. I can tell you that my mom had a sitter for my sister & I for funerals, and one wedding.
I read more books after my children were born than before because I chose to remain quiet when the children napped. Why? because I needed that time to regroup, so I could be the mom I wanted to be. Some people and books will tell you all these ways to be but you must find the thing that work for you and your family. I found this worked for me, in spite of the books that said be noisy and the kids will learn to sleep through noise. Remember that the books are for the average family and I don't think there is one, so take from the books what is reasonable, test their theory but use your judgement on how it is working in your home.
So what do I absolutely adore about being a mom: the chaos, the unpredictable moments & environment, the challenge that children create and the love I feel as they live their lives and grow. I called my home a zoo for a while, I called my home a circus for a while, and now that we approach the empty nest I call my home the place you can always come home to=a sanctuary.
God bless you as you embark on your new adventure, saying "hello" to the life of motherhood and its joys and challenges & may you too know that it is the best thing you have ever done.
K. -- SAHM married nearly 40 years --- adult children 38 coach; 33, lawyer, married with 21mo, and 1mo; twins 19 in college: one on campus an art major; the other commuting & transferring upon graduation out of state as a journalism major.

It IS scary and my "maternal" feelings didn't really kick in til after delivery. After that it's a learning process. That's motherhood.
Oh, BTW, be prepared for the most demanding job of your life. Motherhood made my hectic advertising/marketing job seem like a walk in the park! Congratulations!

Being a good Mom is probably the hardest thing you will ever do and the most challenging, but it's also the most rewarding job you will EVER have!! I was married for 10 years before having my first and then just had my second a week ago. I have an adorable 4 year old little boy and a beautiful week old little girl. When I first got married, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do about children...I knew I wanted them but didn't feel it was the right time. I always trusted that I would "feel" it and eventually I did, one day soon after my very first nephew was born I still remember holding him for the first time and instantly falling in love and I thought wow "if this is how I feel as an Aunt, how will I feel when I have my own". We decided to have a baby and it took way longer than expected, but long story short after 3-4 years of trying I finally held my son and the love that I experienced was overwhelming. I wasn't sure I would know what to do, but I have to say it really came naturally. I also have a good career as an engineer and I have my master's degree. I worried that I couldn't do it all, but I now work part-time which is a good balance. It makes me feel like I still have my "career", and I feel like I never missed out on the important things with my children. I think so many people worry about what they'll have to give up and I know all Mom's don't feel this way...but for me all the things I thought I would miss doing, I truly didn't want to do anymore! I honestly would rather spend time playing with my son and just holding my daughter. I also was able to do alot of things before I had kids, so that may be the reason why I don't feel like I'm missing out. I still have time for dinners with girlfriends and girls weekends away which I enjoy and my husband and I enjoy our dinners out alone so much more now.

I think you'll find once you hold your child, you won't be torn at all between loving them and worrying about saying goodbye to your life...the love comes instantly it can't be helped. Saying goodbye to the books is another thing LOL :) I was an avid book reader and I do miss being able to read as much as before, but I still fit it in! :)

I always tell myself that women can have it all...we just may not be able to have it all at the same time! Enjoy your new miracle coming your way and I think that being a Mom is really what you choose to make of it! Even through the difficult times of raising children...the amazing moments outweigh the difficult times by 100!!

Dear S., I hear what you are saying and it is normal to be unsure of what lies ahead. I do believe by the time your baby is born, you will love him/her. I see no reason to give up your books or career. If you can afford to you can have a live in nanny. Give it a chance. You may find you never want to leave this little person who is unknown to you now. I had my first child at 20 years old and went on to have 4 more. Motherhood is very natural. True some are not as good at it as others, but I know you will be just fine. Love starts to grow when you feel your child moving inside you. This is a miracle that not all can experience. You ae so very blessed. Many women continue their career and raise a child too. I pray that you love being a mom as much as I do. I even retired from my job to help raise my grandchildren. There are so many rewards... Grandma Mary

You will see, it only takes one wonderful moment with your child to make you realize why so many trying moments are worth it. One look from your baby, one time you can stop him/her from crying, one time they say 'mommy, i love you or you are beautifiul or you are my best friend', one time you see them succeed and have excitement for knowing their ABCs, or making a sports team or getting into college or getting a job. All these things because of you being a great mom. Yes, there are many times when you are going crazy and need a place like this to let it out or ask for help (so probably why you might being seeing more negative) but it just helps to keep you moving to the next great moment.
Your question is a great question, made me realize I need to remember what it is all for. Just that one moment!

Motherhood is the best thing that can happen. You will not have to give
up you identify. You have to find a balance that works for you. You are
five months pregnant and have lots going thru your head. I remember
I did the same thing. However, when that beautiful baby is born and you
look into his eyes, everything you are concerned about now will dis-
appear. Congratulations!

Hi S.,

I know you're getting swamped with responses here, but here is my experience:

My husband and I met and got married in college. Three years later I had our first son part-way through my master's program (on purpose), and our second son 20 months after that (still haven't finished the thesis, but...) I work full-time in a professional job, he works part-time now evenings and is back in school, and some days it feels like my head is spinning and won't ever stop. HOWEVER

No matter how bad our days are with work, school, the boys, our neighbors, our relatives, these darling boys run to us before bed for their hugs, give us their slobbery kisses, wave and cheerfully burble "bah-bye! bah-bye Daddy!!" and want us when they are sad, when they are happy, and when they are annoyed with the other one. There are times when I feel like I can't get a moment to myself, but I am still reading (sometimes a few novels a week, sometimes just Goodnight Moon at bedtime), my husband and I still spend time together (even if it is just chatting in bed before we fall asleep), and we can't get over how blessed we are to have our little family. You are not saying goodbye to your life, you are just embracing the next phase of it. This is the beginning of your child's life, your child's memories through pictures and stories of his or her childhood. You are still going to be a couple, you will still be friends, you will also be parents. It is the most amazing identity and for me they go hand-in-hand and blend perfectly. When I enjoy reading a book, I think of how I hope my children grow up to love reading. When I get a rare date with my husband, I think of how amazing he is caring for his kids, working, studying, and still being as engaging as ever. I really enjoy my job, but it is enhanced because of my family. It is hard to explain. I definitely have "I'm a terrible mother!" days (usually when we're tripping over toys, there are more cheerios than exposed carpet on the floor, and we can't find a clean glass anywhere), but at the end of the day, we're pretty happy. Enjoy the rest of your pregancy! :)

Well I might be the wrong person to answer, since I raised 2 biological children and then adopted 4 brothers as well as fostered 97. So you can see that I ADORE children. But being a mother is the hardest most rewarding job in the world. Just think, you are molding this little person to be the best they can be. If all you see around you are horrible perhaps its because they are the ones causing a scene and thats why you notice them. Next time you are in a public place make a point of looking for well behaved happy youngsters. They are wonderful
When you have your baby in your arms and look at him/her you will wonder how you managed to make such a perfect little one. Sure they are hard at times and can be boring, but not often..theres always a surprise in the wings. LOL You worked hard at your career and Im sure it wasnt always easy. Neither is mommyhood. But the rewards are 1 million times better than any other job you can think of.

óf course you don't want other people's children. Who would? But your own is different. I suspect the moment you hold your infant you will feel some kind of bond at least, The infant stage is tough: In the top, out the bottom, little sleep...but suddenly you have a little creature who thinks you hung the moon. Wait until she wraps her little chubby toddler arms around you. I imagine you will look back and laugh at yourself for wondering if it was all worth it. The best part of being a mom? The things your kids teach you about patience, love, acceptance, and understanding. We raise them, but they raise us too, smooth out our rough edges, challange us to rise above and become better people. I am sure you will find a way to meet the challange.

Hold up there, girlfriend! Children are not terrible monsters that happen upon us when we weren't looking. :o) Children are amazing creatures who, when nurtured and disciplined and loved, will be the most rewarding accomplishment of your life. They require a lot of attention and time and money and sacrifice, but they are definitely worth it! I promise...you won't even remember life before your child once that baby is in your arms. Children change us. Life never stays the same. You need to accept that parts of your life will never be the same again. But that doesn't mean that you lose everything. If you're smart and careful and committed, you can have some cake (not the whole cake, but some...) and eat it, too. Work will always be there. You can climb that ladder anytime you want. Your child, well...you only get one shot at raising a happy healthy productive member of society. It's the hardest and most rewarding career you will ever have.

Children are our legacy, a testament to who you are as a person. Our bodies were made to create life. Women have the mental, emotional, and physical ability to bring a child into this world. It's an amazing, powerful talent that only we posess. You are blessed to have a healthy, uneventful pregnancy in progress, and I hope it stays that way for you. You need to remember that children are who you make them...you are the parent, and your choices regarding nurturing and discipline will determine whether or not you have the monster kid in the mall or a well-mannered member of society. :o)

I am a career-minded woman who works and supports her family full-time. I have a son who's 3 and a daughter who's going to be 1 in a few weeks. I have my job and my family and a wonderful husband who works part-time and does most of the caregiving for our kids. Your husband counts, too. We give our children life, and our husbands are there to PARTICIPATE in the molding and raising of that life. You need to be committed to your marriage and united in your parenting choices so that the sacrifice happens on both sides of the marriage.

As far as being bored by the practicalities of life...someone has to cook and clean. It's part of being an adult. Trust me, I'm not a fan of it, either, but you need to be organized and get that stuff done and out of the way. Having a child will seriously impact the way you view those tasks. Being organized and working as a team with your husband will minimize the burden on you both.

My guess is if you're good in your career that you're organized in some fashion and understand how to manage your desk daily and weekly. Take those job skills and apply them to your house. It's the only way you'll get to do everything that's important. :o)

And no worries...we all have moments where we doubt our abilities as a mom. You had an incredible example of how mothering should be done. Put your own twist on it and give it a go. Your child will be glad you did. :o)

Ok first of all, moms come to this site for questions and answers they need help on. Most people do not come on this site to brag about how good their child is. So you won't here those stories on here.

Parenting definitely has tough moments for everyone and everyone handles each thing that comes up differently.

But yes, of course, there is wonderful things about being a parent. My daughters put a smile on my face all the time and I'm always amazed at how much they've learned or how much they are growing. I am thrilled when they finally learn that task I was complaining about a month ago or when they learn from that behavior I was griping about last week. What you will come to realize the most is that your child can have its worst moments in front of other people but you'll still love them unconditionally. Motherhood will bring a realization to you, one that may stop you from judging other mothers. Yes you may have seen some unruly children, but before you say I would give mine away, just wait...because you never know what you yourself will come across.

About working, of course, you don't have to give up your career. I am a full time working mother as well as my husband is a full time working father. But some women enjoy staying home with their children and some don't. Most likely, yes, you will have to give up a part of yourself in one way or the other. But with the help of a supportive husband or helpful grandparents you can find time for yourself if you want it.

Just hang in there, you will find being a mom will be one of the most challenging things in life and most rewarding things too at the same time.

The things I adore most about being a mom is learning my son, studying him. Children already come preprogrammed with personality. It is our job and duty to mold and shape their character and teach them to be brave, loving, independent, caring, kind, strong, passionate, capable, hardworking, fun, decent people who are living their lives to its fullest potential. This may mean your child may be an artist even thought there are no artists in the family but are you willing to foster and develop that in him or her?

Your life will change and become richer, fuller, more challenging as you try to find the balance of it all. Balance between your marriage, baby, career and fun stuff.

You should never give up yourself entirely or at all for your child because they grow up and leave and then you would be left with nothing. Besides if you give up all of yourself what is left for your husband, your marriage, and your career if you are only focused on baby.

Children must learn that they are a part of the world and not the center of the world. It helps them be contributors to the world and not soley consumers. As you take care of the family, you are also teaching you child how to take care of him or her self and eventually that extends to the family they may have in the future. Isn't it important to know how to wash, clean, organize, cook, etc. or at least learn how to hire out to do those things but then how do you guage if someone is doing a good job?

Time is so short. My son is 15 almost 16 but it was just yesterday he was 3 and telling me I was the best mom in the whole wide world unprovoked and unsolicited. Don't worry too much. You will be a great mom and you will get in the swing of things. It is life changing but you also get to determine some of the direction of that change.

The less you give up of yourself, the more you will enjoy being a mom. Not that it's not life-altering, it is, but mostly its wonderful. I am a more than full-time working mom, I also have to travel a lot for work. I'm the primary (almost exclusive) breadwinner, so being a SAHM was not an option.

The wonderful things are when they learn to smile, to really laugh, when they discover their toes or their tongues, everything your child finds amazing will be amazing to you. These things change as they get older, but they still occur. My daughter is almost 7, and she has some innate way to just give me a spontaneous "mom, I love you!". Usually, right when I need it the most.

You don't have to become "Suzy Homemaker" or Betty Crocker to be a good mom. And it sounds like your own supermom will be a great resource if you have any questions. If she's truly a supermom, she will bite her tongue until you have questions :)

I just have to say that I got married very young way before I was ready to be a mom. Then I kept putting it off and putting it off because I was scared about it. All I could see was all the responsibility, giving up my own "life," what if I didn't want a kid around 24/7...I was also afraid I would turn out to be a horrible mom or my kid (s) would grow up to be horrible people. The final thing I was afraid of was the emotional up and downs of motherhood. I knew if I didn't have kids that I could keep my emotional state at a more even keel, but having kids would be a roller coaster with higher highs and lower lows than I would experience otherwise.

I actually said, "God, if motherhood is right for me, allow me to get pregnant, but if it is not and my fears are founded, please make it impossible for me."

The answer - I got pregnant very easily with my oldest daughter. The second time ...on the second attempt without protection...I got pregnant with twins!

The result...I thought so much about these fears, and not as much about the good things about parenthood, that I have really been surprised by the sheer joy of it! There is a way that you love your own child that you really can't understand of prepare yourself for ahead of time. I want to be around my kids (not ALL the time-every minute) but so much that it isn't really an issue about if they are taking over my life. Sharing life with little children and watching them grow is so amazing that I am so glad I didn't allow my fears to let me miss out on it.

I was very involved with my career as a special ed teacher. Motherhood reduced my motivation to work - I really didn't see that coming! However the financial reality has ensured that I must work and it was HARD during the year when each kid was a baby, but it gets easier. Now that my daughter is 4 1/2 and my twins are 2, I feel like my working motherhood situation is easily/more stable. I still miss the time with them, but I do love teaching students how to read. It is working out.

That said - please understand that the newborn baby stage is often the hardest. You might wonder, "What did I DO to my life?" It is a lot of diapers and feedings and not enough nighttime sleep for you. Your little baby is very demanding and does not show a lot of appreciation for you. BUT if you hold on until 3 months, he or she will be cooing and smiling at you. You will finally start to see the reciprocation of all the love you have given out to the baby. Then it is the fascination time of initiating conversation with your baby and eventually they are initiating with you.

Motherhood is hard, but not at all like my worst fears. It is the best thing I ever did.

It's weird, and probably hormonal, but your attitude totally changes when you have your baby. You'll love him/her completely and you'll want to do whatever you can to take good care of him/her.

Not that you want have the occasional murderous impulse go through your head, but you won't act on it.

Parenthood is a lot of work, but it's worth it. Your child will love you unconditionally (at least until he/she becomes a teenager) and it will bring you so much joy watching him/her grow up.

These boards mostly show parenting problems. We're asking advice about what to do when we're having trouble. We don't generally post just to rave about how much we love being parents. But there aren't very many of us that aren't happy we chose to have our children.

As for what I adore about being a mom... I love the way they turn to me like I know everything. My husband and I are their heros, and that's incredibly good for the ego. I love staying home with them and sort of being my own boss on how we spend our days. I love just being with them, mostly, because I love them. Oh, and hugging and holding a small child is an incredibly good feeling that's hard to explain. They're all soft an warm. They just feel good. I love the way their faces light up when I show them something new. I love the funny way they sometimes look at the world. My daughter once told me, after I observed that she was wearing a purple sweater, that she was, in fact, wearing a red sweater and a blue sweater and that it just looked purple. You can't make up stuff like that. Being a mom is fun.

You have so many answers as I was sure you would!
If you give a mother a chance to talk about her experiences, she surely will! LOL!
I haven't read all the responses, but you should meditate over them and be open to hearing them. For every woman in the world there is a differnt approach to motherhood.
The truth is, you are walking down the path in your own personal journey and all the advice in the world will never replace your own experience. Others' experiences can inform you, but your child will be a slice of you, and I bet when you meet him/ her for the first time you will will recognize him as yours. It's a funny thing about children.
I am a full time working mom. I am very career minded, but I worked with my employer to get a schedule that allowed me to manage my family obligations while still producing good work. The first few months after my first son was born were really hard. I did feel like I gave everything up. But around the time he started sitting up and then crawling (6-8 months) things got miraculously easier. It got easier around other major milestones too, like 3 and 4 months, when he slept through the nights. But I felt the most like my old self after about 8 months. And having children has been the most meaningful experience I have ever had. Definitely the best thing I have ever done with my time and energy.
Look for balance. Do kind things for yourself. Respect your health and well being. Do what you need to do to be happy. This will teach your children to take care of themselves instead of always looking to others to fill their need and desire for happiness. Your children will be a mirror image of you. Make your image great, and they will not be able to be anything else.
God Bless!

I had to giggle a little when I read your post. My sister just had a baby about a month ago. She had the same concerns you are expressing. I remember her being so irritated when people told her that "her life is going to change" and that "she has NO idea how different she will be". All throughout her pregnancy her concerns were so different from mine (at lease from what I remember mine being) that I had just about convinced myself to accept that she is a different person than me and may parent differently than I am, and that she will probably have different feelings towards parenting and ways of going about it.

Then they had the baby.... And she got it. She fell head over heels in love. I can't tell you how many times she has said to me "NOW i understand what you meant...."

It's just something you can't understand until you are actually a parent. I remember telling someone that it was like having a new puppy at home waiting for you, you just want to rush home and pick it up and squeeze it every moment. I still feel like that every day while at work and my daughter is 3.5 years old.

Don't worry, it will happen to you too.

Hi S.,
First, you're already a good mom, worrying about being a mom! Worrying that you're not a good mom seems to be on just about every mom's list. You're already reaching out to others which shows that you are willing to work on it.

So here's a few random thoughts from my "happy bucket".

Having my oldest daughter (3.5 yrs) run to me at the end of the day when I pick her up from daycare, yelling "Mommy! I'm so happy to see you".

When my youngest daughter (3 months) learned to smile and gives me one when she recognizes my face.

When my oldest tells me that I'm the best mommy in the whole world.

When my youngest falls asleep on my chest.

All their little acomplishments (everything from learning their ABCs to learning how to laugh) and the joy they get from being able to do something makes me so proud.

The way my husband has turned into a complete mush pot when it comes to his little girls.

I could go on and on. Have I had to give up a few things? Sure sleep, my body, my insanity, etc. Have we had bad times? Of course, the screaming the kicking, the sickness, the heartache, but I promise you it's all worth it, really.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

~Kristal

First of all, you should never feel like you have to give yourself up for anything- whether it be a baby, husband, friend or family. you need to keep some part of your own identity. Somethings may have to be put on hold for a while, but that is to be expected. It can be challenging finding the balance between being a mother, wife, having a career, and your own life as well.

I work part time (about 20 hours a week) and love it. I love that I can spend time with my baby watching him grow and amaze me everyday. and sometimes, the house chores have to be put on hold in order to go outside and play or spend quality time with my husband after the baby is alseep.

there are so many things i love about being a mom...i love when he give me hugs and squeezes my neck sooo tight and gets excited to see me when i pick him up from daycare after work, or even when he gets up from a nap. and i love hearing him laugh and i love being able to take him to the zoo in the middle of the week with my friends and their kids, or to the park, playground, or wherever and watching him get so excited over everything he sees or hears.

and i love that i CAN seperate myself from him for a few hours every now and then to spend time with my friends or go shopping alone or do something just for me.

It is easier said than done and i still have to remind myself sometimes that taking care of that little baby is the most important thing that you need to do. Laundry, dishes, chores, even work- take second place.

good luck and best wishes!

I do not feel you are 'heartless'. I think you are picking up on what's reality/fact and maybe a bit late in thinking through it all. That's ok. No one is perfect. Like yourself, my life was completely centered around my career, personal time/hobbies etc.... But I also knew coming into parenthood there were going to be obvious sacrifices. I made a decision to have a baby on my own. I'm a career mom too! Successful at that. I will not lie to you and say that it is easy. Its not. I enjoyed my career thus far but also knew I was meant to bring life into the world and become a parent. It does not sound like you and your husband thoroughly spoke or prepared for the life changes you are about to face. That may be a bold assumption on my part but I guess this from how you've described your fears. There will be no baby born w/an instruction manual and sometimes moms become "mothers" at the moment of birth and feel the bond from the moment they hold their child. Others it simply takes a while....and I think that its ok as long as you come into your own and progress. There are many things I've had to tailor in my life (ie: taking a nap, going to a store, driving around alone just to get air!) So that my little side-kick is involved. Its a maturation process for you and for your parentoing skills. You will feel resentment, you will feel overwhelmed and you will also feel bombarded by things you never expected (ie: unsolicited advice, constant crying, borage of diapers, etc) but..... So did your mom. Believe you me. What the benefits are is the unconditional love you will experience and the new life you will help adjust to the world around them. That will soon all be worth the craziness. I didn't believe it was so and now my views on life are complete. I find more enjoyment in my son's amusement in my trying to calm him or his absorption of leaves blowing and even him sounding his first words out than I ever did with reaching a career milestone. It actually amazes me sometimes. I am still successful and dedicated as well as respected as a professional.... And now even moreso because I'm a professional mother too. :-) don't worry, it will alk come together. I strongly recommend taking parenting classes (what to expect in first 24 hours at least) and begim changing your books to "what to expect the first year).... Spend time with mommy helpers too because they are invaluable. You should also consider a doula for after birth if you can afford one. The first 3 months are the hardest. I will not lie and tell you otherwise so prepare yoursf now to address your worst fears and I promise you... You will fimd the best is yet to come!

The unknown is always scary. I have a 3 year old son who is the light of my life. I work from home & take care of him full time so I have not given up anything. Your child does adapt to you & the questions you see on here are when someone is having a problem, they are not the norm.

I love being a mother, it's an emotion i've always wanted to feel since i was young. I was so excited when i became pregnant i imagine my whole life different and it didnt matter for me to give up all my partying, drinking, you know doing fun stuff.(i'am 22 u know)!!! Haha!!! I felt the same way that you are feeling now and once i held my lil girl in my arms, those feelings just went away!!! They told me it was the pregnancy hormones going all around my body so i felt better knowing that. You'll get over them once u get to see ur baby!! Dont worry!!!!!!

Btw: congrads ur almost on the verge of knowing what ur having, or u already know!!!!!

Try and work pt if you can. It is a huge adjustment especially if you are used to working. The beginning is very hard. The whole thing is a major change one no one can prepare you for. Try and get a babynurse too if possible. Remember happy mom happy baby. I had similar feelings as you did but no one tells you the truth until afterwards. It is great but a huge change do what you need to do to make the transition as easy as possible.

Being a mother is not easy. Nothing in life is easy. It does give you more meaning and purpose... i think anyway. It teaches you selflessness, a love you never thought you could have, patience.... i could go on. I am a sahm, i don't need a career to give my life meaning. Being the best mother/wife i can be gives me all i need :)

Don't worry... once you have this baby you will see. Yes, it is tough but so rewarding!

Having a baby is a life-changing experience. I, too, had had a career, traveled the world and was prepared for anything life would deal me. Boy, was I ever thrown for a loop when baby arrived! Being a mother is the hardest job you'll ever have, so if you like challenges, you'll love this. I never regretted it; motherhood made everything else I'd done, up to that point, seem inconsequential. But it's also the most exciting, fascinating, wonderful job you'll ever have. If you establish the kind of relationship your own mother did, as you describe, you, too, will reap the many benefits. When your child hits various milestones and succeeds in school and makes friends, and does all the things that make you proud, you will feel things you've never felt before. It's the only way to get the type of joy that unconditional love between mother and baby brings. The first time you look deep into your baby's eyes, you'll forget that you ever doubted your decision. Besides, you're committed now...there's no turning back, so embrace it and enjoy every moment. In time, you will be able (if you choose!) to get back to the life you presently know.

I too thought i was not fully ready to become a mom but once she was taken out of me ( c-section) and i heard her cry, a great loud cry! I knew that i was a mom and all the instincts kicked in. Yes your life will change no more being selfish, your life will revolve around your beautiful baby. Slowly over time you will have your life back with the wonderful addition. Think of all the great things your can teach your LO, your love of books, travel ect. You will find a balance it takes time.
Things that you thought were very important might not even be on your radar. So don't worry your lives will slowly meld into a wonderful mesh of happiness and joy. Just remember that lots of love hugs and kisses will make your life even fuller than it is now. You will be a great mom so don't compare yourself to others, you do what works best for your family. Good luck.

I can understand how someone reading all these post's would be scared to death! Yes, being a parent can be challenging at times but nothing compares to it! Yes, your child will cry, scream, hit, bite, not sleep through the night etc. But you can't let that scare you. You will fall head over heels in love with your baby, and you won't mind the sleepless nights and all the other "icky" stuff. Your baby will become the love of your life and you will do anything for him/her. Being a mom is a type of love that can't be explained. You may think you know what love is, but your idea of "love" will be shattered to pieces the first time you hold that baby. Your heart will feel something that you didn't think was possible...unconditional, blow your mind, larger than life LOVE.

You can still have a career too! I work full time and I am lucky enough to have a nanny that I trust completely. However you make it work, you can have it all. It just takes WORK. But you have it in you. You can and will do it because you love your baby enough to do anything! Good luck, don't be scared, and love that baby to pieces!

Very brave question. Posters have already mentioned that we are on here for help...and no one needs help with all the good stuff.

Holding that child for the first time. Having him really see you and smile. Breastfeeding (when you aren't having to ask questions lol!). Seeing their face light up when you pick them up from daycare, or just walk into the room. The first time you hear Mama! There are so many amazing moments of being a mom. Daily, I just love the hugs and kisses.

Yes, it is a hard transition, but many of us are able to continue our careers. I don't resent any of the extra stuff that is involved. Once you meet that baby, you want to be there for him, and take care of him. Even the poopy diaper changes. My husband and I actually used to fight for it because our son was so interactive and happy on the changing table.

Those children that you saw weren't yours. It is SUCH a different experience from seeing other children to, "this one is MINE." I don't think I can even explain it. Yes, you will have questions, and difficulties, but if the good didn't outweigh the bad by some drastic percentage, I wouldn't be pregnant with my second.

Just relax and wait till you meet your little one. Your life will be turned upside down....but in the best way possible!